


The Last Ones Standing

by olliya



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Dimension Travel, F/M, because none of major characters of this story die, but lots of people die, no major character death warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-13
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:35:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 95,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21779947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/olliya/pseuds/olliya
Summary: Kaguya escapes the sealing by teleporting herself, Naruto and Sasuke away, into a different dimension. That leaves Sakura the only person awake in the world caught in Mugen Tsukuyomi. The only one, until she finds Uchiha Madara.
Relationships: Background Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Sasuke, Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Madara
Comments: 872
Kudos: 1053





	1. Chapter 1

Sakura woke up. The sun was shining unobstructed right into her eyes, and it hurt. The light made her pupils constrict to the point of pain, blinding her and adding more discomfort to the pulsating ache that was already reigning in her head.

Before she even tried to sit up, Sakura, taught by experience, took ten deep breaths allowing her consciousness to get re-accustomed with the body it was supposed to move. Then she propped herself on her elbows and slowly sat up. Still squinting, she looked around. Rubble, debris and corpses littered the ground around her.

Right, the battle against Madara and the Juubi – that's what happened. At first, they've lost when Tsukuyomi was cast. And then they won. Sorts of. Because Madara fell at the hands of his own minion and some never-heard-of entity appeared in his place. And against her they didn't win… She dragged them through several alien dimensions, killed Obito, until, in last ditch effort the re-formed Team 7 threw everything at her. Sakura delivered the punch, the punch the goddess did not expect, and the boys were supposed to seal her.

She recalled it so vividly, them approaching her, with the seals on their palms shining, in perfect synch, just centimeters away from connecting, from reaching their target… When goddess's hair shot sideways and tangled them. In a blinding and deafening blast of energy the goddess disappeared. And Sakura's boys along with her. The explosion threw Sakura first up and then a good kilometer away.

And now there she was – splayed on the ground like a broken doll, with severe concussion and several broken bones. And probably ruptured spleen. Nothing that her seal couldn't take care of. Glimmering magenta tendrils were already crawling down Sakura's cheeks.

Sakura propped herself with her hand and slowly stood up. The seal just finished mending her legs. She had been blown away far away from the battlefield. Where were the boys? Did they manage to seal that thrice-damned bitch? If not, where should she head for to help them?

Sakura bit her thumb. "Katsuyu-sama! Do you sense Sasuke and Naruto? Where is the rabbit goddess?!"

Katsuyu undulated her antennas. "They aren't here."

"What is your radius at the moment? We need to search wider now."

The slug turned her head to her. "It is large, Sakura-chan. And their current chakras shine like beacons – I can sense them from hundreds of kilometers away. If not thousands."

"What are trying to tell me, Katsuyu-sama?"

"They are not _here_. Not in this dimension. The rabbit goddess teleported herself and your teammates along. None of them returned."

Sakura rubbed her forehead. That was bad. She didn't have any dimension-travelling jutsu in her arsenal. And they were somewhere – fighting, struggling, maybe needing a third combatant to act as a decoy, maybe to deliver a surprise blow. Maybe to heal them! What if they needed her?! Sakura wrung her hands into her hair. All those years they never did. But last hours proved that she was as essential as the two of them. She dragged half-dead Obito across the dimensions, she punched the goddess when the bitch didn't expect it. Sasuke and Naruto – reincarnations of Asura and Indra, reincarnations of Kaguya's sons – the goddess had fought against them already. She must have learned. And Sakura was a wild card, a factor that the goddess didn't account for. Sakura could tip the balance.

Only that now she couldn't… Sakura plopped on the ground and bit at her fingernail. What was she supposed to do? "Katsuyu-sama! Let's search for the survivors! Is anyone left alive?!"

"All the combatants have been caught in the cocoons. I sense their chakra, but…"

Sakura looked around – next to her two cocoons hung from a relatively thin branch of the monster-tree. Or was it a root? Or whatever this thing had… The trapped bodies dangled like giant, overripe fruit, tightly tangled with this peculiar white, fleshy wood. Sakura reigned in her revulsion. According to the Sage of Six Paths Sasuke and Naruto carried now the power to undo the Tsukuyomi jutsu. They will handle it once they return. She should focus of saving those accessible to her.

"Anyone outside cocoons?"

Katsuyu retracted her antenna. Sakura knew that it meant that the slug was concentrating – the multitude of her parts were spread in radius of many kilometers. Reconnecting with them was a challenge even for the Great Slug.

"One. South from here. But he's dying."

"Exact location?!"

"South, south east, some five kilometers from here. Under a large rock."

Sakura dashed forward. "Keep searching!" she shouted from behind her shoulder, already running down the stone face.

* * *

She found him under a rock cliff. His arm was trapped under a large stone that must have fallen upon the impact. She moved it away - the only thing she could do to ease his suffering.

The calcified area on Kakashi-sensei's side had reached his ribs. Sakura could pinpoint the moment when his breathing got rough - the moment when his lungs started to petrify. A shred of Kaguya's bone-bullets had hit his right hip, so the petrification was progressing from the side opposite to the heart. That mean it will still take a moment. Sakura absentmindly wondered if it hurt, or if it only felt numb. Because if it did hurt, then she probably should break his neck.

But she didn't want to. He was always there. She couldn't imagine the world in which their sensei simply wasn't there. Now the war was over but everything was so… alien, so suspended – he, the one who was supposed to be the responsible adult, their tutor, their leader – he was the one she didn't want to lose. Now even more than ever. He was a promise that the things will be alright.

"Sakura…"

"Yes?" she smiled and wiped a strand of hair that was plastered to his forehead. The way he was sweating suggested that it did, indeed hurt.

"Did they manage?"

Sakura halted. Should she lie to the dying? No, he would hate that. "They disappeared with the goddess."

Kakashi squinted his eyes in a familiar grimace. "Don't worry, all will be alright. They will be just fine." For the shortest of moments, she believed him. As she believed him back in the genin times, when he assured her that everything will be alright with Sasuke.

He must have read that on her face, she was always like an open book, especially to her sensei. "I have a present I can finally give to my favourite student. The wayward one doesn't need it anymore..." he started to chuckle and immediately stopped. His lungs weren't cooperating anymore. "And if I am to be honest with myself, I have to admit that had he needed it, he would have received this gift. I know I invested a lot of attention into him, and I neglected you. And I'm sorry. But finally, this will be for you."

"What are you talking about, Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura didn't like the turn of this conversation. Not the slightest. But it didn't matter what she liked or not. The dying ones were allowed to their goodbyes, whatever they were.

"My eyes. Take my eyes."

Of course. Uchiha's eyes. It's always about Uchiha eyes. Over and over again. Sakura pursed her lips. But he had a point - Sharingan should never go to waste. Such a valuable and rare asset… Someone will be getting new eyes once it's all over.

"You don't understand, do you? This time, those are for you… Take it, seal it away and keep quiet about it." Kakashi sent her a mischievous smile. "You will need in a decade or two."

"Why? What are you talking about?"

"Sakura-chan, maybe I've never showed it, but my faith in you has never faltered. And I believe that after all is done," he made a sweeping gesture at the tree and cocoons, "you will get what you've always wanted. You will be with Sasuke. Just as you've always dreamt. And once your children are born… Well, then this little gift from your old sensei will come very handy when fixing Sharingan in their eyes..."

Sakura could only gape in disbelief. The never-allowed-to-the-surface image of black-haired children in her arms bled under her eyelids. Could that really happen? It was always only a self-indulgent daydream for her.

"Extract them now, when I'm still alive," pressed Kakashi. "You've seen what happened to Obito – the moment he died, the petrification sped up and his body crumbled to dust."

"Right." Sakura steeled herself. "Right." No matter for whom, these eyes should be saved. "I'll make it quick."

"You should. I don't think I can hold on much longer."

From her medical supply scroll she summoned a sterile container and some bandages. The container was much too large and the bandage wouldn't be needed, she realized. Shaking her head, she applied a numbing justu to his facial nerves, and a couple of swift moves of chakra scalpel later both his eyeballs were in the container. Sakura closed Kakashi's eyelids. Her palms left bloody patches on his face.

"It will be alright Sakura. Think ahead, about the future you have."

Sakura nodded, feeling tears streaming down her cheeks. His body shuddered on her lap as the calcification reached his chest.

* * *

"Sakura-chan…" It was Katsuyu's gentle voice that broke Sakura out of the stupor long hours later. She opened her fists that were still clenching ashes Kakashi's sensei body had turned into. "Sakura-chan… There is another one."

"Where?" Sakura rubbed her eyes forcefully against her sleeve. Heal. Save lives. That's what she was supposed to do. In the end of a day, one life was worth exactly the same as another. She couldn't help Kakashi- sensei. But she can help another. Wailing in self-pity won't save anyone… "Where?"

"Far. Just by the tree. But…"

"Sakura turned her head. On the horizon, white silhouette was pointing to the sky. Protruding from the surface of mother-earth too high, too isolated. Foreign. Alien. Something that shouldn't be there.

"But, Sakura-chan… It is.."

"We'll talk later! I need to hurry!"

The sun was already past the zenith and in its light, she could see exactly the desolation of the battlefield. Earth uprooted by Doton techniques, blackened areas where the lighting and fire jutsus had hit. Puddles of water, putrid by now, in the depressions of the terrain. And the bodies. Splayed or twisted in paroxysms, with pain immortalized on their faces. They were starting to stink but, fortunately, the flies haven't found them yet.

Everything dead. Everything.

Some couple of kilometers away from the tree, so close that when if she wanted to look at it, Sakura needed to bend her neck in an uncomfortable manner, another Katsuyu part waited for her.

"Where is the survivor?" demanded Sakura.

"Over there." Katsuyu pointed with her antennas to the left. "But Sakura-chan. Be careful when you approach him."

"Why?" Sakura jerked her head.

"It is Uchiha Madara. And he's conscious."

Sakura almost tripped halting half-step. She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. "I won't let my guard down," she replied in a carefully controlled way.

She took off into the pointed direction. Slowly. Minding her steps. Looking where she was placing her feet. Scanning the perimeter.

A moment later it was obvious where she should head for. Three Katsuyu's clone surrounded – with a large radius, overly large radius – a body lying flat on the ground.

Her first instinct was to throw the kunai into the middle of his forehead. Her second – to slowly slit his throat and listen how he would choke to death on his own blood. She repressed both and stood still assessing the situation.

He looked normal - black hair, no horns, no third eye, normal chest pectorals where that freakish face of Shodai used to be. Closed eyes. Katsuyu said he was conscious – then why were his eyes closed? Why wasn't he moving? Was he incapacitated in some way? That would be god-sent.

He turned his head in her direction. "I know you're there."

Sakura tensed. Will he attack? Once she speaks, she will reveal her location to him even more precisely. And will let him identify her. Because maybe he still doesn't know who had approached him. But no attack came.

Should she kill him? Could she even kill him? Or would her attempt only provoke him?

He remained on the ground, hands straight along his sides, no sight of defensive or offensive stance. Maybe something was indeed wrong with him.

Sakura tightened her fist around a kunai. And deliberately relaxed her fingers. She backed of some meters and sat down in the shade of the boulder to keep an eye on him.

* * *

After two hours of vigilance an irritating stench reached Sakura's nose. She got up and circled the rock to find decomposing bodies of four Iwa and one Sand nin.

She buried them – her chakra was recovered enough to split the soil into a makeshift grave. It bothered her to bury them nameless in a shared grave, so before pushing them down she checked their pockets, and retrieved all the personal items she could find. Then she arranged the stones into a small mount, tucked their belongings under the last layer of rocks, said a prayer – not particularly suitable for the funeral, but the only one she could remember, and felt marginally better.

Only to be struck with a wave of panic – she had left Madara unsupervised for so long! Sure Katsuyu was there, but… Sakura rushed around the boulder. Madara was lying in the exact same spot, he hadn't moved a centimeter, he hadn't even shifted.

Maybe she should kill him. Keeping him alive was a risk. But was it the optimal course of action? What if he recognizes her intent and attacks her back? Maybe he's not moving because he doesn't see a need to?

Sakura sat down again. She retrieved two soldier pills and ate them. It was hot and even in the shadow, Sakura was sweating. She searched her supply scrolls - she had still four canteens of water. If she's careful they will last two days and then she will need to find a water source.

The inertia was driving her crazy. Katsuyu clones were spread over a huge part of land so if the boys returned, she would know immediately. The slug didn't report any further survivors either. Have everyone been either killed or caught into Tsukuyomi? Sakura shuddered. Except for her it was only four of them – Sasuke, Naruto, Kakashi-sensei, Obito who had escaped the influence of the red moon. The last two were dead. The first two gone… The only one left was her. And Uchiha Madara who miraculously survived being spat out by that rabbit monster.

Sakura looked at him again. Survived the monster, but looked like he wouldn't survive the exposure to elements. His lips were chaffed, half open. There was dried-out blood around his eyesockets. And his skin was starting to burn in the sun.

Sakura shifted – she could now watch and enjoy how the man who caused that all, who was responsible for countless deaths, dies from thirst. Maybe it will be a sufficient retribution.

"I know who you are," said the Uchiha in a nonchalant way. Sakura jerked her head. "You're that female medic."

"How do you know?" she blurted out before she could think better. She just confirmed her identity for him. She wanted to kick herself about it, but looking at the big picture – what did it change…? He was incapacitated, and she was still by the boulder.

"Would like to know it, wouldn't you? Well, I can humour you. I've heard you, you stupid girl."

Her prayer! He'd heard her prayer for the dead! Stupid indeed, stupid - that's what she was. But still, she was here, in shade, with her soldier pills and water canteens, and he was there – lying broken on the ground.

* * *

Evening came and after slipping into a summoned bedroll and pushing all thoughts away Sakura managed to fall asleep.

It was still before dawn when the cold woke her up. She climbed the boulder and waited for the sunrise. In meantime she was amusing herself watching Madara. He must have been freezing the entire night. Comes the sun, he will bake. It won't be much longer until he dies of dehydration. It wasn't the most painful death that life had in stock, but it was bad enough.

Came the noon and Sakura's control started to fray again. They weren't back. They were gone, somewhere gods know how far and she couldn't do anything. Where were they? Were they alright? Why weren't they coming back?! How long will she need to wait? How long will she need to do nothing, keep on existing on this barren wasteland completely alone and just wait? And what if they needed her? What if one them was wounded? Low on chakra? Dying?!

And she, she who trained her entire life for the single purpose of keeping them out of the harm's way – was here. Stuck. Unable to get to them. Rendered useless again. Left behind.

Sakura wanted to howl. To scream, to kick and punch and dig her nails through the soil and through her cheeks.

And it all would have been on vain. So she didn't. She sat down in the shade of the boulder, unpacked the content of her pouch and scrutinized her supplies. A small bag of soldier pills - of chakra-enhancing sort. Empty water canteen. Two storage scrolls, holding she didn't exactly remember what. Why weren't they back? Three kunai, ten shuriken, a handful of senbon, some exploding tags. What was holding them back? The bandages she didn't use for Kakashi-sensei. Could that be that they've been… Sakura blinked away the itching in her eyes. Three kunai, ten shuriken… No, they cannot. They will be back. They have to be back. Three kunai…

Her hands shook as she haphazardly pushed the stuff back into the pouch.

She stood up and marched along the boulder. Where were they? At the edge of the shadow she stopped, turned around and walked the opposite direction. After repeating the route four time she realized that the pacing made her even more nervous, so she sat down. Forced herself to think about something else. To think about all the re-construction that will need to take place. Konoha will have to be rebuilt again. Maybe this time they will learn on their mistakes and place broader drainage pipes. The previous ones always got stuck and overflew after every bigger thunderstorm. And she would love to have the hospital to be more in the center. For her own convenience, admittedly, but also for strategic reasons. She pulled out a kunai and started to sketch on the trotted ground.

After two hours and a meticulous plan of new Konoha spread in front of her, Sakura felt stable enough.

Stable enough to consider her most immediate problem – Uchiha Madara lying fifty meters away from her. He still hasn't moved. The sun was scorching hot and he never made a move to shield himself from it. Sakura carefully stepped closer. The way he was breathing wasn't normal. It looked as if he was trying not to breath in into his ribs. Maybe they were broken? His arms were lying at a slightly odd angle from his body – not impossible, but definitely not the way one would place then on a reflex.

He looked much worse than yesterday – his cheeks were hollow, and sun was doing its work on him. Sakura tilted her head – served him right. She watched him more, taking in the pain he must have been feeling. He moved his lips, maybe trying to say something and his lower lip cracked. He pulled it in, sucking at the blood.

Sakura blinked. No. She won't be doing it. She won't be watching a person die slowly in front of her. Even if it was the worst person in the world. There was a limit to her resentfulness and it has been reached. She crossed her fingers into a Kage Bunshin seal. As her clone popped into existence Madara moved his head in her direction. But he did so much slower than yesterday.

"I'm going to bring you water," Sakura announced, handing the canteen to the clone. "If you want it, don't attack the clone."

"Is it poisoned?" His voice was rasped.

"No. Would you prefer that it was?" laughed Sakura, but there was no gaiety in that laughter.

"No. Why?"

The clone knelt next to him and held his head up while lowering the canteen to his lips. "Because it must hurt horribly. Doesn't it?" Whatever restraint the great Uchiha Madara had, it wasn't showing in how greedily he was drinking that water.

"It does. But it doesn't matter." He swallowed and immediately sounded better. He almost managed the tone of familiar arrogance she remembered. She gave him another sip. "I can still enjoy the thought that I brought the end of suffering to the human race." Oh yeah, he regained his attitude alright. Real Sakura's fists clenched. "After death all thought is gone - so I want to enjoy the consciousness of my victory for as long as I can."

"End of suffering? Are you crazy?" She wanted to have her clone kick him. She really, really wanted to kick a lying, helpless, incapacitated man. "Are you proud now?" she spat instead. "You should see it, all is dead. Everything! The corpses are decomposing and there are no flies! Why are there no flies? Where are the flies?! The plants are dead, as if something had sucked life out of them. Everyone is trapped in those cocoons. Is this how you planned it? A total annihilation of life?"

"No. It wasn't my plan. But details don't matter as long as they are dreaming."

"How can you even know if they are?"

She thought he would have shrugged, but apparently, he couldn't. Or maybe he didn't intend to – how could she even know what he wanted…?

Sakura took a long calming inhale. She will keep him alive, even if for the sole purpose of putting him on trial. So that he understands what he did. Yes, that will be a suitable punishment. Not an easy way out through death. That meant she needed to patch him up. Not to mention that it would be interesting to know what's wrong with him. "My clone is going to examine you now," she said tapping into her most professional and unattached tone. The clone indifferently lowered her hands to his chest.

When her clone dissipated loading its experiences into Sakura's brain, she didn't hold in a gasp. All his bones were shattered, spine included. His muscles were basically rendered minced meat. Her snide remarks about his pain suddenly felt very inappropriate. Sakura formed another clone. "I'll start fixing you. I'll start from your backbone."

His spine, and then his muscles' structure. And she will leave it at that. With broken bones in all his limbs he won't be able to move. He won't present any danger. That will be convenient.


	2. Chapter 2

Two days later the boys still weren't back. Sakura's jitters subsided somewhat in meantime. She wasn't anymore expecting the heavens to open and her teammates to fall from the sky any moment.

She decided to share her soldier pills with Madara, mindful of giving him only the ones that didn't boost chakra too much. Her pouch and storage scrolls were getting empty quicker than she had anticipated. Plus, she needed to find some real food anyhow. Her stomach was rolling and doing funny things from how empty she felt.

Pushing revulsion into the deepest corners of her mind she turned to browsing the belongings of the fallen. They stunk and she did her best not to breath too deep. The first two corpses she found didn't have any supplies. The third had only a pouch of soldier pills, which she took, but decided to use as a last resort because the shinobi to whom they belonged had hailed from Iwa and Sakura had no idea about their pills' recipes. The fourth corpse had a storage scroll, but since it was a Suna shinobi, she didn't know the seal. The fifth corpse was from Konoha. She had to turn it around in order to reach the flak jacket and it was a grave mistake. Because she recognized the face – it was a boy who took Chuunin exams with her, those Chuunin exams that had taken place in Suna, when she participated along Ino and Choji. The boy had brown curly hair, and was so nice to her… He had borrowed her his blanket when she had been cold at night…

But this time he wasn't of much help - his storage scroll held only a water canteen and a small package of biscuits.

Looting the corpses wasn't getting her far. She needed civilian supplies. Making up her mind Sakura returned to where Madara was lying.

"I'll go to the nearest village to find some food," she told him kneeling by his left side. Only then she realized that she approached him directly, without a clone as a proxy. She stopped her hands before she could touch him, but he didn't make an impression that if he would want to exploit her oversight.

"Why? You can browse further. There are enough bodies." It always amazed her how much he could perceive despite being blind and immobilized. Or did she stink so much?

"Easy for you to say. They start to rot," she answered lowering her hands to his left arm. "Plus one cannot live on soldier pills. It's unhealthy. They are supposed to boost your energy, but they burn you out when you don't get proper nourishment. Don't you feel it?"

"I don't feel anything."

Sakura chose to ignore his haughty tone. "I'll go to the nearest town… which is… which is…" Where was it actually? Sakura turned her head around. Well, no matter, she will find some town. And she was glad that it wouldn't be Konoha. She couldn't imagine facing Konoha in this state. "Anyway, wherever it is, it will have some supplies. I'll leave some pills and one canteen in your reach. That should be enough, I'll be back in two days." The shard of his forearm's bones were coming together, getting glued back into one by her chakra. "There. Ready." In retrospect it was pretty reckless to heal him without a clone, but Sakura couldn't muster anxiety anymore. She was so done.

The first town that wasn't completely leveled to the ground lied day and a half away from the tree and there she spent long hours browsing through the rubble. She packed her storage scroll full with canned foods and water bottles. She even drew water from the well and filled and sealed all kinds of containers she could find. She was about to head back, when she came to conclusion that packing only food and water was a bit too optimistic. With heavy heart, she started to sort through houses' debris, piling timber for firewood on one side, and undamaged everyday objects on the other. She was half way through a third house when she realized that the canteen, she had left to Madara, was closed. Did he manage to open it with one hand?! Cold sweat ran down Sakura's spine. Had she just left him to die? She haphazardly sealed whatever she had scavenged – timber, blankets, soup bowls, unpaired socks – and ran. Swallowing one soldier pill after another she covered the distance in sixteen hours. Did she sentence him to a slow, torturous death?!

When she came back she found out that he had managed to open the bottle. Nevertheless, the painful pangs of anxiety left traces in Sakura's mind. Somehow, even though he was an enemy the thought of leaving him to die, just out of her own negligence was a horror.

* * *

She couldn't wait any longer. If they weren't coming back, she would start freeing the trapped ones herself. Sakura rubbed her forehead – it was a daunting task, if the tree had indeed captured all life. On the second thought maybe it wasn't that bad – every person she frees will support her in the task. The progress will be exponential.

Encouraged, Sakura faced the cocoon hanging from the nearest branch and clutched the katana that she picked from some samurai's corpse.

But wait. All animals were trapped as well. The plants were withered and lifeless. What would they all eat?

Either she finds a global solution or she must first bring back the plant and animal life to the world. Animals could probably be cut away same way as people, but plants? Does she need to plant seeds and wait until they grow? Wait entire season or maybe more? And what if the seeds had been also rendered useless?!

Despair expanded its tendrils into Sakura's mind. No, she cannot bear this burden alone any longer. She needed someone, anyone. Couple of people should be able to live off of the looted goods. And she couldn't do it alone.

With renewed resolve she slashed the stem of the cocoon and it plopped on the ground with a disgusting, wet sound of an overripe fruit. Sakura wedged her kunai between the folds of the cocoon and unwrapped the first layer of tendrils. The shinobi inside wasn't moving, but she could see parts of his flack jacket already – he was from Kumo. She pulled at white tree-flesh with more force.

"Hold on in there! I'm getting to you!"

The back of Kumo's shinobi head was already visible. Sakura tore at the last tendril and uncovered his face.

It was a face of a dead man. Eyes open with Rinnegan immortalized in them. Face contorted in convulsion of pain or fear. Or both.

Sakura stared. But he was alive when she had cut the cocoon! She had sensed the gentle hum of his chakra! She wasn't much of a sensor, but she wouldn't have done such a mistake! What happened? Did she hurt him somehow when she was cutting the cocoon? Frantically, she tore off the remains of the white substance. Kumo shinobi sported a gash on his supper thigh. The blood was congealed, could it have been this injury that did it for him? Or was it the fall of the cocoon? Did she kill him?! Sakura couldn't believe it, but the man was dead.

She stepped backwards, trying to distract herself from horrible guilt she felt.

Alright. Alright. She will be more careful with the next one. She turned to the cocoon that was lying on the ground – the tingling of chakra was definitely there. She slashed the stem. The hum disappeared in the very same moment.

"Noooo!" she screamed and tore at the cocoon with her bare hands. The face that she freed long minutes later was twisted in the same grimace of pain.

Katsuyu found her an hour later, curled under the rock and crying.

"Sakura-chan," the slug tried, "you said you've sensed a hum of chakra… Maybe those shinobi were just very low on it? Maybe they were on the verge of dying already? Let's look for someone who has a strong chakra signature."

It was in a direct vicinity of the tree that they found a group of cocoons radiating chakra so strong that Sakura didn't even need to concentrate to sense it.

"Alright. One last try. It has to work, right? This person here is strong."

Sakura slashed at the closest cocoon. She knew already how to lever the tendrils so that they would pry open quickly. Long, auburn hair spilled out of cocoon. Mizukage's face, once so breathtakingly beautiful, was twisted beyond recognition. And dead.

"No! No! She was alive! She has to be alive!" Sakura hit the cocoon with both of her fists. And collapsed to her knees. She looked around at the other four cocoons hanging from the same branch. They all were emitting very strong chakra-field. One of them was extraordinarily large, and the other – child-sized. Sakura clamped her mouth and held back the urge to puke. The Five Kage. They were fighting together. If Mizukage was right here, it meant, it meant… Oh gods. Sakura spun and touched a cocoon to her left. Chakra emanating from it was so warm. It felt familiar. "Shishou… shishou… Is it you?" Sakura's hands clenched on the katana's handle.

"Sakura-chan, hold on, don't do anything rash." Katsuyu crawled to her side. "Don't cut another one."

Sakura nodded and willed her fingers to relax.

"We need to figure out what's happening with them…" offered the slug.

Sakura stood up. "Well, there is someone who should know."

* * *

"What is it doing to them! Answer me you bastard!" All that was boiling in Sakura on the way back from the tree, exploded at Madara's sight. She dropped on her knees next to him and dug the kunai into the hollow of his throat. "What is this damn tree doing!" She pressed the blade enough for him to feel it. "Answer me!" she screamed when he didn't indicate that she made an impression.

A grave mistake. She made an impression. And the reaction she provoked was a lightning-fast grip on her throat. "Go on, push it deeper," he goaded. "Let's see who dies first – me with the pierced windpipe or you with the broken neck?"

Katsuyu spat acid onto his face, but he didn't even wince. The slug was small and his eyes gauged out anyway. He gripped her throat tighter. Sakura slowed her heart rate to reduce the amount of oxygen her body was using. And simultaneously lifted the kunai away from his throat and batted his hand lightly away. "Let go," she said offhandedly. She should establish that she didn't feel threatened by his behaviour. And that _he_ depends on her. Five seconds later he let go of her throat.

Sakura drew an unrestricted breath, trying not to make sound desperate. She smoothed her voice into calmness. As scary as this clash was, its outcome has re-established the rules. She still _did have_ the upper hand. "You claim this," Sakura gesticulated at the thick tree root next to them, only too late realizing that she was speaking to the blind, "this tree – you claim it's your invention. Your jutsu designed to save the mankind. I've just cut three cocoons. I killed three people. Why? Why were they dead the moment I disconnected them? How and why?"

Madara was silent.

"Should I assume you don't know yourself?" she mocked and preventively moved out of his range. "You do realize that I could torture you until you tell me?"

"That is very, very courageous for you to say that. But you won't. You're not the type. You're a medic through and through."

Sakura scowled. She could afford making a face - one of many advantages of him being blind. But he was right. Or at least right for the time being – she still wasn't in emotional state where she would lower herself to torture. And it seemed he wasn't going to tell her anything. She stood up and walked towards the limb of the tree. Even if he doesn't want to talk, she can for sure figure it out by herself. And if not, she will re-examine her stance on torture.

The root was thick, several meters wide in diameter. Sakura placed her palms against the surface and, fighting revulsion, dove inside with her chakra. Immediately, the slender stream of her energy was enveloped and carried away by the current of chakra streaming through the root. Sakura head spun – so much chakra, and of so many different kinds… Myriads of life-forces, all in movement, endless stream surrounding her…

"Sakura! Watch out!" tiny Katsuyu clone exclaimed from her shoulder. Sakura's eyes snapped open the same moment that the white tentacle tightened around her chest. How could it be – there were no branches in this area mere seconds ago!

The white protrusion spun her around her axis as it wrapped itself around Sakura. She focused her chakra trying to break the hold – that should be nothing for her enhanced strength. But all the chakra that she summoned got sucked out immediately. Sakura struggled harder – there must be a limit to this thing's durability! On vain – the tree held her tight and drainage started to reach her chakra reserves. Katsuyu jumped off her shoulder landing on the part connecting the trap that held Sakura to the root proper. She spat acid onto the narrowest point. But it didn't do much damage and Katsuyu clone sank and disintegrated into the flesh of the tree.

"Katsuyu!" screamed Sakura. She shouldn't have – when she let the air out of her lungs the tree squeezed her tighter. She couldn't take the inhale. Her ribs were starting to give in under the pressure. "Ugghh…" she grunted as one of the snapped.

What to do? Using chakra against that monster was contraproductive. But earlier she managed to chop the branches off easily just with a blade. A blade. The katana was lying next to her backpack, some twenty meters away. She couldn't reach the kunai from her pouch – she was tightly wrapped shoulders down. Her left arm somehow remained on the outside, so she still could slash the branch, if only she had a weapon…

"Madara! Madara!" She hated how the way she sounded – pained and desperate. But that was what she was right now.

"What's happening?!" And there was a note of alarm in his voice. He was flat on his back, but Sakura could see that he was on full alert.

Talking was a near-impossible task. With her every exhale the damn tree was pushing tighter. She needed to spare her air. "The tree. Caught me." He should figure out from the way she talked that she was being strangulated. "Cannot use chakra because it sucks it away."

"Quench it."

"What?" she coughed out.

"Quench it. The tree is chakra-sensitive. I don't know why it captured you, but it reacts to chakra of living beings. Quench your chakra and it will cease to notice you."

Fighting through oxygen depletion Sakura forced her chakra down. The tree stopped tightening the hold. It didn't help much; her torso was already half-crushed. At least two ribs punctured her right lung.

"Ok. Ok. It stopped crushing me. But it didn't let go." Three more breaths. She couldn't use chakra to direct the oxygen to strategic organs, so most of it went to waste. Black spots danced in front of Sakura's eyes. "There is a katana. Some ten meters away from you."

"Right or left?" Madara stretched out his arm – the only limb that she had healed to operational state.

"Left and behind you. I'll direct you."

He could only extend his arm that much and then painstakingly pull his entire body weigh maybe thirty centimeters at max. Then he had to repeat the process. Sakura focused on not blacking out. "More to the left."

"Which left?"

"Your left!"

"I'm lying on the ground! How do you define 'left'!?"

Alright. Alright. She cannot pass out. "Extend your arm at 90 degrees from you body. Now a bit more towards your head." The broken rib was scratching something inside her and she actively didn't want to think what it was. "There. That's the direction."

Another arm extension. Another pull. His body dragged limply across the rubble. "Hurry. Please…"

Madara bit his lips. And pulled his weight with more force. Five iterations later his hand landed on her backpack. "What is it?" He palmed the pack.

"My stuff. Move it away and keep going. Just one meter more. There, there, feel more to the right!"

His hand closed on the handle. "Alright. Say something. Keep speaking. I need to localize you."

"Ugh… what should I say… I cannot speak, my lungs are collapsing."

"How high up are you wrapped? Where should I aim? Level of your chest? Waist?"

"Chest." Another inhale. "Otherwise I won't reach it. But you realize that we have just one…" Katana swished through the air and lodged itself in the cocoon enveloping Sakura. "… chance…" She wanted to yell 'you should have warned me!' but the strain on her chest made her save her breath. Unnaturally twisting her wrist she managed to reach the handle.

"That bastard tried to suck me dry!" Sakura yelled kicking at a chopped-off white tentacle after she freed and healed herself. "It's draining chakra, that's what it was doing to me, and that's what it is doing to everyone else!"

"What do you mean?"

"It sucks chakra from the victims and transports it towards the trunk. Before it caught me, I saw it! An entire river of stolen chakra runs there!"

"It shouldn't be doing that." There was something in Madara's voice that she couldn't put her finger on.

"What do you mean?"

"The tree is supposed to support the dreamers. Sustain their lives that they don't starve so they can keep on dreaming… That's how I designed it."

"That's clearly not what it's doing. The chakra flows _to_ the tree."

"Are you sure you've seen it correctly? Maybe you've mixed up the directions?"

Sakura threw her most indignant look at him. Too bad he couldn't see it. "Mixed up?!" She tried to make up for the lack of visuals with her tone. "Mixed up?! I can see this fucking tree! It's just there! Five kilometers from here, I see it plain as a day! And, oh wait, isn't it you who is blind?"

Madara pursed his lips. "You can be saying this to put doubt in my mind."

Oh, there she got him. Right, he wanted to be the saviour. She didn't quite buy into it during his speeches, but now – he seemed genuinely unsettled by her revelations. That gave her an additional advantage. "Well, you would like to know, wouldn't you?" She put all the poison she had into her voice, repeating his own mockery from couple of days prior. "You can only lie there and go crazy with uncertainty. And you can do nothing. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Welcome to my hell."

"Your hell?"

"My teammates are somewhere… Stuck in other dimension together with the rabbit goddess. I don't know where. I don't know if they are alive. When and if they will come back. And I cannot do anything…"

"Your hell, as you've phrased it, is none of my doings. I would say it's pretty circumstantial. My hell, on the other hand is entirely your design."

"Serves you well."

"You are not like that. Let me make sure. If it really is like you're saying… I cannot believe it, but if that's true… If that is true, then I am also against to what is happening to them. I didn't… I didn't plan it this way… That would position us on the same side."

"What are you suggesting?"

"Heal me. Let me make sure what is happening myself."

"And what will I get from that?"

"Consciousness that you didn't torture me."

"And why should I care?"

"Because you value your humanity."

"Oh, what a high opinion you have on me. Maybe I'm not as righteous as you imagine…"

"If you are telling the truth, then you have nothing to lose. Because if it is true, then I am on your side. You are a logically thinking person and I know you recognize it. That's why, if you don't let me check it by myself, I will have to assume it was a lie."

"Well, you forget about one detail – I may simply not trust you. Your 'logical argument' can be a ruse."

"A ruse? What incentive would I have for a ruse? If that," he made a gesture with his only working hand, "was my plan, then I wouldn't need to do anything. I could contemplate my victory, until I died and reunited with my loved ones in Pure Land."

"Or you can want to regain your power to prevent Sasuke and Naruto from breaking the jutsu once they return." Sakura crossed her arms over her chest.

"You really believe that they will return?"

"Of course!"

"Then why haven't they yet?"

Sakura bit her lip. She was wondering herself. Since over two weeks.

"I not a clairvoyant to know exactly 'why', but I can tell you all possible reasons," Madara continued. "Why don't you sit down, the list is long…"

There he was – mocking her again. Sakura felt like boiling. "Why don't you save the snark for someone else? Oh wait, there is no one else around to listen to your pompous bullshit. I guess you'll have to talk to yourself. But that shouldn't be a problem, you like the sound of your own voice, don't you?"

Madara laughed. "Your attempt on offending me only proves that you are scared and insecure. You doubt your own words."

"I don't! They will come back! Sasuke has Mangekyō Sharingan in one eye and Rinnegan in the other! He knows time-space ninjutsu as well!"

Madara arched his eyebrow, which looked disturbing with his eyes closed. And the knowledge that his eyeballs were missing. "Does he now? And who made the jump? He, himself?"

Sakura shook her head. "No. From what it looked like it was Kaguya."

"Then there is no knowing if he will find the way back."

"What do you mean?!"

"There are hundreds if not thousands dimensions reachable through the dimensional travel. Just that." Sakura fell silent. "Not to mention more prosaic reasons like simply death. From the hand of the rabbit bitch or from the conditions in another dimension."

"Stop!"

"Why? I'm only voicing that what you think already, am I not?"

"Why are you doing this? Why are you so hell bent on torturing me? I'm feeding you, I'm taking care of you, I've healed you!"

"You're keeping me alive. Healing me would be something else. And saved you from the tree, so we're even."

Sakura glared. And remembered for the nth time today that he cannot see her face expressions.

"Coming back to the topic at hand…" picked up Madara as if they were discussing an issue at the meeting table. "Heal me. Heal me enough so that I could walk up to tree and check it by myself. I'm not much of a sensor but if you say you saw hundreds of different chakras in a form of a stream, I should be able to perceive it as well. And distinguish it from the chakra of the tree that _should_ be floating through these channels instead."

"If you probe with your chakra the tree will attack you. As it did with me."

"I trust that you will be able to free me."

Sakura bit her lip. He seemed very determined. She considered all that she knew about him. He always seemed genuine to her. Insane, but genuine. He had honestly believed that he had been freeing the mankind from suffering. Shodai's attitude towards him seemed to confirm it…

"Alright. I'll bring you to the root. But I won't heal you."

"Fine."

Sakura jerked her head. He agreed too quickly. Either he really didn't have any ulterior motives, or he had a back-up plan that would allow him circumvent his broken bones. But at that point she was ready to take some risks.

He was damn heavy as she dragged him over the rough terrain towards the tree root. It must have been painful for him, but he never made a sound. Positioning herself in a sensible distance from the root, she unsheathed the katana and placed his palm against the surface of the tree. "There. Sense if you want."

She wasn't sure what he did, because his chakra was so low that undetectable, but suddenly something changed in his face. Something like recognition. And whatever he did was enough to rile the tree up. Three protrusions sprouted from the body of the root. Sakura slashed at closest two. The third one found Madara's torso, flattened and sucked itself to it with speed that no plant-like lifeform should possess. Sakura shuddered and cut it off as well. New protrusions started to grow to her right, so she deemed it enough and grabbed Madara under his arms to pull him away from the root.

"And? Satisfied? Saw what you wanted?" Madara didn't respond. "Won't you even deign me an answer?!"

"What do you want me to say?!"  
"That you admit a failure? Yeah, that might make my day."

"They are dreaming," answered Madara but he didn't sound as certain as before. "They are happy. Even if their chakra is being sucked out."

Sakura got under control an impulse to gloat at his acknowledgment even if it wasn't verbal. Moreover, he was still defending Tsukuyomi! "You don't even know if they are dreaming at all! I saw the faces of the ones I cut off. Those were faces of people in agony! No one dreaming a happy dream looks like that!"

"I know the jutsu I casted. It was genjutsu of my design. I know."

"But you didn't plan for them to be sucked out. I was looking at your face when you were probing the tree. You didn't plan for that."

"No. I didn't."

"This is not _your_ jutsu anymore. Face it! You had been used as they are being used now. You were just a puppet. The quicker you swallow this pill, oh great and invincible Uchiha Madara the better for us all."

"Still, they are at peace. The end effect has been achieved. Who cast the jutsu is irrelevant."

"They are used as fuel, as life-feed! Do you think the tree cares if they dream their happiness? Do you think it cares when it eats them?! Do you think the rabbit goddess cared?!"

Madara pursed his lips

"Oh, I wish you could look around! Then you would can see, oh great savior of mankind, what have you achieved!"

Madara turned his head away from her. There was so much anger in that one small movement that she didn't see from here during entire war.

* * *

They didn't talk for another week. Sakura gladly would have, because the silence and loneliness was killing her. So, when she was feeding him, she would say things like 'Lift up you head', 'I'm gonna give you water' or 'Those are crackers, so be careful not to choke'. But he never uttered a word.

Finally, one evening, he spoke up. "I made a mistake." Sakura lifted her head from the kunai she was sharpening. "In my pride I made a mistake that costed entire mankind their lives. Is that what you wanted to hear? I made an unimaginable mistake and I survived long enough to recognize it. I survived to be reduced to helplessness. You know nothing about me, so you would have to take my word for this, but there is no greater torture for me than to be deprived of agency."

Kunai was lying forgotten on Sakura's lap. She wanted to be happy about her moral victory. She really wanted. But she couldn't. Even though his voice was leveled he sounded so utterly broken. Sakura bit her lip. If it was anyone else, she would try to offer some consolation. But it was Uchiha Madara. And, frankly, she didn't know if there _was_ any consolation available in his situation.

"For the first time in my life," he continued, "I am rendered powerless. And believe me, I would do anything _, anything_ , to reverse what had happened."

Sakura dug with the kunai in dirt, careless that she was blunting a freshly sharpened blade. Was he genuine? Was his regret real? Was he trustworthy in any way? And how much did she have to lose? The boys weren't coming back. Sakura sucked in her lip – probably they weren't coming back _at all_. She lifted the kunai and weighted it in her hand. Ah, let all be damned! She threw the kunai so it buried next to Madara's head.

"My teammates," she started and paused. She felt as if she was about to leap into a precipice. "My teammates, they receive seals from Sage of Six Paths. Those marks are supposed to break the Tsukuyomi. Reverse the flow, shrink the tree, reverse it back to the Jūbi and split it back into nine tailed beasts."

Madara jerked his head. "But they've been teleported into some other dimension. You're out of luck."

Sakura drummed fingers on her knee. She didn't have the kunai to play with. "Maybe not quite. I have…" The moment she says it she will put her life into his hands. Can she manage such level of trust to the man who tried to kill them all? Sakura looked inside herself. Was she ready to entrust herself to him? Not only herself. Her future, her dreams… Lives of everyone else… Sakura swallowed. Yes, she was ready – simply because the alternative was worse. "I have a pair of Sharingan eyes… Extracted from my sensei before he died, sealed in a scroll. I could… I could give them to you."

He didn't respond, so she just kneeled next to him and started healing him. "We could go and look for them… Bring them back…"

She was feeling lightheaded and almost dizzy. That what she was doing was absolutely insane. But - concluded Sakura in a flash of clarity – it was the most logical thing to do. His bones were coming together under her fingers as her chakra poured into his system. He slowly closed the fist of his newly healed hand.

She rolled out her medical supply scroll - the jar with bloodied eyeballs popped into existence. When she was connecting the optical nerves, Sakura wasn't even sure if she was performing the procedure correctly, so high on adrenaline she was.

He kept his eyelids closed after she was done. She wrung her arm around him and propped him up. "Can you stand?" She gently guided him up until he was on his feet. After she made sure he was standing stably she took two steps back. She almost forgot how tall he was. Madara slowly opened his eyes. The same shade of black that she remembered from Sasuke fixed on her.

Sakura sucked in a breath. Her head was spinning, between the two of them she might be the one to trip and fall. "Will you… Will you kill me now?" she whispered breathlessly.

Black eyes focused on her. "No. I will help you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and please tell me what you think!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is an entry for MadaSaku Weekend 2019, Day 3
> 
> Prompt: "Your ego knows no bounds."

"Activate the Sharingan! Obito's ability was time- and space-jutsu. He could jump dimensions with exactly these eyes."

"I cannot," stated Madara with surprise. "I cannot mold my chakra… And when I try to activated it, it gets depleted."

"Are you hurt?" Sakura furrowed her eyebrows. She thought she fixed him.

"No, as far as I can tell. But I was dead for a while, so I probably qualify as a special case."

Sakura pressed her palms against his back and scanned for injury. There was none; after her handiwork his body was in order.

"You seem alright…" she hummed and dug deeper. A man like Madara wouldn't ask, literally ask, for help if he didn't need it.

Sakura sent her chakra along his chakra pathways. She moved from the top of his head downwards. All seemed fine… She followed down his chakra pathways and suddenly – the pathways were not there. Sakura closed her eyes and shielded all external disturbances away from her consciousness. It couldn't be.

But it was. The pathway was simply ending on the level of his solar plexus. The connection between his Fifth and Sixth Gate wasn't even there. Sakura concentrated. The endings of the pathways were… jagged? It looked as if someone ripped something from him. It reminded her of injuries received from an animal.

"What happened to you?!" she exclaimed. How could she overlook something like that? But on a second glance – only his chakra system was affected. Of course! He was the jinchuuriki of Juubi! And Juubi was removed from him. It was ripped out of him and that was what she was looking at.

The scientific, inquisitive part of Sakura's brain was overjoyed – an opportunity to study a still alive jinchuriki after a beast's removal! How many people even had an opportunity to see something like this? Not to mention, to see it and have enough medical knowledge to examine it!?

But scientific rush aside - this damage was nothing fun. His chakra was leaking as from a broken vessel. Will she be able to fix it? It would be a feat equal to regrowing a cut-off limb… Sakura concentrated and gently, gently prompted the cells of what remained from his pathway channels to divide.

Three hours of painstakingly delicate work that resembled lace-weaving later Sakura was exhausted and covered in cold sweat. And Sharingan shone in Madara's eyes.

Sakura popped two chakra-replenishing soldier pills into her mouth. "Alright. We can move on. Do you know how to make those jumps?"

Madara was looking up, into the sky. "I think I see them… No, 'seeing' is a wrong word. I perceive a presence of something huge, something that pulls at the fabric of the reality. When I 'reach' I feel that something is there, like an object deforming the cloth under which it is hidden."

Sakura listened with a mix of hope and fascination. Maybe this could work. Maybe they could do it.

Madara was still watching the sky. "Nine over us. Arranged in a square." He looked down. "And nine below us. And eight around us, on the horizon's level. Six feel closer, more defined." He reached to the front, as if trying to touch something. "Others are further, with eight of them really far." He looked up and right.

"So many?" Sakura didn't hold back a moan of disappointment. But she quickly got a grip on herself. Twenty six wasn't that many in the end. It was much better than those 'hundreds if not thousands' that Madara had tried to intimidate her with. She took out a kunai. "Point the directions, I will mark them on the ground."

Madara outstretched his hand towards south-east. "There. There, and there."

"Are the lower and upper ones directly above those on horizon?" asked Sakura scratching the arrows in the trotted ground.

"Yes, I think so. The angles make it a bit unclear, but I think that yes."

Sakura bit her lip. "A cube. It's a cube. And we're in the middle." She stood up. "Alright. Enough of that talking, let's go finally!"

Madara turned and stepped towards her, only to halt abruptly. He was looking around in astonishment, as if he was seeing things suspended in thin air.

"What is it?" demanded Sakura.

"They moved. The dimensions changed their locations." He slowly turned in place, as if trying something out. "They spin with me. When I move, so do they. It doesn't matter how I turn around, it's just the direction in which I 'reach'."

"What? Why? How are we going to keep track?" Sakura wrung her hands in her hair. Her meticulously scratched-out direction arrows were useless now. But wait. "If they move with you, then you will be our orientation point. It's even easier! Here, draw!" She pushed her bingo book backcover up into Madara's hands. "We will cross out the ones we check," she added looking over his shoulder when he was sketching.

She hooked her hand under his arm and hoped that such amount of contact would suffice. Travelling with Obito, she had clung to his back, keeping the poor dying man going. She couldn't imagine she could force herself to such intimacy with Madara.

Nevertheless, her fingers clutched at the fabric of his sleeve. "Will you… will you be able to come back?" That was probably a very bad idea to show weakness in front of him, but she was afraid.

"No idea. Hold tight."

The already somewhat familiar, but still nauseating feeling swept over her like cold water. It felt like falling and being abruptly stopped mixed with being hit on the head. Sakura carefully swallowed – it tasted awful in her mouth, like vomit. She wondered if one can ever get used to it.

They were on a slope of mountain. Sakura too a careful step – gravel rolled from under her feet. But the stones weren't round – they had sharp edges. Entire ground was covered with polyheadrons, smaller, bigger, some as big as boulders. Sakura picked a handful of pebbles. Even in the dim, bluish light, that had no obvious source, they gleamed and sparkled.

"This place is new to me…" she said. "We haven't been in this dimension when we chased after rabbit goddess."

"Irrelevant. So how do you want to search for them?"

Sakura bit her lip. She didn't have this thought so well through. "We can climb to a high point… or… Can't the Sharingan sense chakra?"

"It can see chakra, when it's close enough. I am no sensor."

Sakura pursed her lips. She would need Katsuyu right now… Well, actually… She was summoning Katsuyu from the slugs' dimension into their world. So why wouldn't her contract work if she was somewhere else? Sakura bit her thumb. "Kuchiyose-no-jutsu!"

She had never been happier to see slug, not even when she first succeeded in summoning her. Sakura threw her hands around Katsuyu's neck. With the corner of her eye she saw a grimace of disgust on Madara's face. She didn't care. Katsuyu was the only friendly, familiar presence in this world. Or in any world. Because everyone he knew in her home dimension were trapped and locked away in that horror of a jutsu.

The slug looked around and crawled towards a larger boulder. The sharp edges of gemstones must have been hurting its abdomen. "So you've convinced him to cooperate, Sakura-chan?" Katsuyu pointed with her antennas at Madara who was climbing a small stone spire. "Can you trust him?"

"I think so," said Sakura wondering at her own words. "I was starting to lose hope and at that point I was ready to take a risk." She felt compelled to explain herself in front of Katsuyu. She knew the slug didn't approve risky decisions of any kind. Whether cautiousness was Katsuyu's inborn quality, or a learned habit acquired through years of coping with Tsunade-sama's irresponsible behavior - Sakura didn't know.

"He can simply teleport away and leave you here…"

"I don't think he would. Plus then you can always back-summon me to the Shikkotsu Forest."

Kasuyu sucked her antennas half way in, a sign of agreement, even if a half-hearted one. "Well, I cannot provide a better plan, so I guess it makes sense to go with this one." She nodded towards Madara who sat perched on the top of the spire.

"Then let's get on with it! Can you sense Sasuke and Naruto somewhere in this dimension?"

"No… With this size my range is one hundred kilometers, maybe two hundreds…"

"I'll get you bigger, wait up!" exclaimed Sakura and dispelled the summoning. When she dug her hands between the gemstones seconds later, she pumped good quarter of her chakra into the jutsu. Enormous body of Katsuyu crushed the side of the mountain and filled the valley. Sakura jumped away and propelled herself up the stoneface. Running on vertical surface required more concentration than usually, probably because how perfectly smooth it was. She saw Madara running up as well, as his spire existed no more. She noticed he was looking at her with more attention than ever before.

Sakura reached the level of Katsuyu's neck and decided to give communication a try. "And? Do you sense them, Katsuyu-sama?" she shouted, hoping the slug would hear.

Giant slug turned her head. "No." Gentle voice of Katsuyu drummed like a thunder. "Not in many thousands of kilometers. And, Sakura, there is no life here. Nothing at all… I don't think they could have survived until now if they landed here…"

Sakura swallowed. She won't think about it. She won't. "Alright. Let's go back then. We have twenty-five more to check."

Madara was approaching her, casually making his way across the rock face. "Actually, many more than twenty-five…"

"What do you mean?"

"The dimensions are here as well, all around. Twenty-six of them. Same arrangement. And I bet those are different twenty-six than the I saw from our home dimension."

"And if we jump again, there will be another twenty-six?"

"Most probably."

"Oh gods." If she wasn't balancing with her chakra on a vertical plane of a giant crystal, Sakura would have collapsed on the ground. "Gods have mercy." She couldn't draw a proper breath. In order to perform a least some logical action, Sakura released Katsuyu. It made no sense to invest her chakra if the dimension was empty. When the slug disappeared, she was confronted with a void in her mind. What was she supposed to do?

"Lets' go back." Madara grabbed her shoulder and turned her around. "We need to approach it methodically."

Sakura didn't fully perceive the sickening sensation of the jump – she was too preoccupied with the magnitude of the task ahead. There was no telling how far this pattern of dimensions stretched… Suddenly Madara's thousands didn't seem just a cruel jab anymore.

Her feet sank into something warm and dry. Sakura looked down – she was standing on the sand. Waves were breaking against the shore some meters away from them. Water was very blue, shade of blue she had never seen before. Blue sky, blue water, white sand. "Where are we? Where is the tree? We were supposed to be back!"

"I don't know," answered Madara. "When I jumped for the first time, I was aiming to the dimension directly in front of me. The second time, I aimed back. According to my logic, it should have worked."

Sakura yanked his arm. "Don't tell me that you've lost the way! Don't you tell me this!"

"How was I supposed to know how this works?!" Madara shoved her hand away, hard enough to make Sakura tumble and fall. "Gods damn it woman, I'm doing what I can!"

She didn't bother to land in a defensive pose. She just let herself land on her behind. That was it. The end of her mental resilience. She felt the sand pouring between her fingers. Everyone was trapped in Tsukuyomi. Boys were gone. And she was lost in a foreign dimension.

Madara was walking away from her. A minute more and she would lose him from her sight as he would disappear behind a group of rocks. She couldn't bring herself to care. She grabbed a handful of sand at let the grains flow through her fingers. She took another handful.

She had a small mound heaped up in front of her, when with the corner of her eye she saw him returning. He was walking fast, with a sense of urgency in his movement. She had impression, that if not for keeping up the appearances, he would have run.

He threw a heavy look at her state and at the pile of sand in front of her. Sakura didn't want to think what kind of image she presented in his eyes. "Get up," he barked. "Stop that sulking. It is our world."

"How do you know?!"

"There is a small fishing village over there. Or it used to be. People are all gone, but there are the cocoons everywhere."

Sakura's hands flew to her mouth, trying to tamper the cry of joy. "Really?! Are you sure? Or can it be that in other dimension a similar catastrophe happened?" Sakura didn't want to get her hope high in vain.

"Larger fishing boats have names etched on the sides. In our script. It is our world. Judging from the shape of the coastline and the houses' architecture I would assume we are close to the Land of Waves."

She wanted to jump and embrace him. She didn't. She only shook her head at her emotional state – the loneliness was must have been really getting to her. "Why are we so far from where we started?" she asked instead.

Madara shrugged. "No idea. Does it matter?"

Sakura thought about all her friends trapped in the cocoons. Most of the people she knew were ninja, so there, by the tree was where they hung trapped. Her parents were hopefully still in Konoha. But indeed, it didn't really matter – they were all inaccessible to her at the moment. "For time being - no. Once we find my teammates, we'll come back to the tree." She placed her hand on his arm. "Where is that sketch? We should cross out that gem-dimension and keep going."

"So your plan is to first check all the twenty-six dimensions accessible from here?"

Sakura chewed at her lip. "I guess we need to start from somewhere. We need more experience and more data before we formulate a final strategy."

"Fine with me."

The beach spun and disappeared. Gods, she would never get used to that sickening sensation. Especially to the taste in her mouth. The dimension they landed in was a desert of sorts, but the sand was so fine that it resembled ash. And it was deep red. Sakura bit her thumb and summoned a full-detection-size Katsuyu.

"Which one is it?" asked Sakura when Katsuyu was scanning the perimeter. She crossed out the 'front' dimension already and dotted word 'gem' next to the mark in the smallest letters she could manage. Sakura furrowed her brows – soon she will need to re-draw this sketch in bigger format.

"The left one."

Sakura wrote 'red desert' next to the left-most point.

Katsuyu was still sensing. She would never complain, but Sakura could see that the giant slug was getting dehydrated far too fast in the arid climate of the dimension. Unfortunately, with Katsuyu's current size there was little Sakura could do to help her. Best course of action was to finish the scan and dispel the summoning.

"I'm sorry Sakura-chan," announced the slug. "Nothing."

Sakura pursed her lips and crossed out the left-most point.

Madara grabbed her shoulder. "Let's not waste time."

They landed on the same beach. Sakura's pile of sand was a still visible, a bit flattened by the wind, but still there.

"Ok, the next one," demanded Sakura not letting go of his elbow. They had so much work to do. "Try the right-most now!"

She couldn't be more surprised when they landed on the red desert again.

"Where are we? It looks this same as before! Can it be that two dimensions are identical?!"

"No. It is the same one. I jumped to the left one again."

"Why? We checked it already. And it was empty. Why are you losing time?"

"I wanted to prove a hypothesis."

"What kind of hypothesis?" she asked and bit her tongue before adding: 'And would you mind consulting such ideas with me first'. That would be unwise to piss him off, now when he had all his power back.

"When we jumped to our home dimension, we landed not there where we started, but on that coast. And the second return was also to the coast. Maybe when one teleports between the dimensions there is always…"

"The same entry point!"

"Exactly. And it is. Look here." Madara pointed at the traces in the sand. "That's where your slug was standing. And those," he pointed to the side, "are our footprints."

Sakura digested the information for a moment. "That really works in our favour. If my teammates had arrived into a dimension they would have landed in the very same place where we will upon our arrival. Meaning we would be searching the correct area…"

"Assuming that the entry point is not traveler-dependent."

"Assuming. But that's a very egocentric concept, that the rules of universe would be contingent on an individual."

"Maybe egocentrical, but not to be excluded until we disprove it. Which we cannot, because I'm the only one making the jumps."

Sakura let the argument die. It did have practical consequences, because if they were landing in the same place as Naruto and Sasuke would have, she could invest less chakra into the size of Katsuyu, and by extension into the radius of the search. That would allow them to check more dimensions in shorter time. But she didn't see a point in verbal spars with Madara. In the end she was the one deciding how much chakra she will expedite to Katsuyu. "Anyways," she said, "we still have to test this hypothesis further. And even if it is jutsu-caster-dependent it will still allow us to verify our cube model is correct." Sakura pulled out the sketch. "If it is indeed a cube, then this dimension," she tapped at the forward-up-right point with her pencil, "should become forward-horizon-right once we jump directly up."

"True. And I think we should come up with a numbering system for them," suggested Madara and stepped forward weaving a long series of hand seals. "Amaterasu!"

"What are you doing!?"

"Marking this dimension."

A focused jet of black flames left his mouth. The fire was travelling in a curve, melting the sand into a foot-broad band of glassy black glaze. It was so hot that the stuff was still bubbling even after the flames had already moved meters away. There must have been sulphur in that sand, concluded Sakura wrinkling her nose, because it stank. The flames drew three-quarters of a circle, when Madara changed their direction and started tracing a concaving curve.

A recognition sparked in Sakura's mind – he was drawing symbol of the Uchiha clan.

"Your ego really knows no bounds." She shook her head in disbelief. "That's what you've always dreamed about, right? To brand your mark on the universe."

"That's a good symbol," shrugged Madara starting on the handle of the uchiwa. "Not something that can be repeated accidentally like a circle or a cross. Yet simple enough. And your teammates will recognize it as well, in case they had figured out the dimension travel."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and please tell me what you think!
> 
> Technical note: if you want to visualize the grid of dimensions, the "cube" that Sakura was talking about, google "sodium chloride crystal lattice". The atoms form what is properly called face centered cubic lattice, and in case of sodium chloride it's easy to find your way through this mess, as there are two types of atoms and most figures have them in two different colors.


	4. Chapter 4

They jumped back and then once more. Forward, Madara said. This dimension was empty. So empty that the word just gained a new meaning for Sakura. It was black all around and there was nothing solid under their feet. Holding to Madara's elbow tightly (or desperately, but she would never admit to that), Sakura summoned Katsuyu slamming her hand against her own thigh. The slug only confirmed the obvious – the dimension was lifeless, sterile and void.

Despite that, Sakura was happy with the verdict and as happy as she had ever been to release Katsuyu. Summoning and supporting the slug multiple times in a row was taking a toll on her. The hours-long healing procedure performed beforehand wasn't helping either. Sakura closed her eyes – when they were open, she couldn't see the black spots dancing in her vision – all was black anyhow. Now when she closed them – spots were definitely there – shimmering gold-brown. They would have been beautiful if Sakura wouldn't know what they meant. And if she wasn't busy holding back the urge to puke that always accompanied chakra exhaustion.

Madara was still lingering in the void. Normally she would have been pissed that they were losing time, but now she welcomed this short pause. Though she would need not minutes but hours of rest to recover her strength.

Nevertheless, when they landed on the beach again, she was already enough in control not to sway on her feet. "Alright," she said, crossing out another circle on the sketch. "So now to the right one?"

"No. We're not going."

"Why?"

Madara eyes escaped sidewards, into direction somewhere above her shoulder. "This what you fixed – it ripped. You need to heal me again."

Sakura held down a smirk at his embarrassment and planted her palms against his chest. The fracture of his chakra vessels was back there, in exactly the same place. And it was almost as severe as before. His chakra, still excited from the jutsu, was pouring out and seeping into the tissues. "It's huge! When did it break?"

"After the jump into the void the small rip appeared. But it got larger upon the return jump."

"So why the heck did you jump?! Why didn't you tell me so I could fix it when it was still small?! You should always tell me such things immediately, before it gets worse. Just shove your pride into your pocket, will you?"

Madara pursed his lips. "Just fix me now."

Sakura let her hands fall. "I cannot." She paused and swallowed under his harsh gaze. "I'm too low on chakra."

"And still you wanted me to jump further? Without sharing this crucial information with me? Who here should be shoving her pride and into where…?" Verbally, he poured all the snide on her, but there was something off with his body language. His posture was stiff, as if he was avoiding moving too much.

"Oh, shut up." Sakura rubbed her forehead. "You said there's a village over there. I just need couple of hours of sleep, that's all," she announced and started walking.

She always loved beaches. She got to visit them much too rarely, and even more rarely had time to enjoy them. She might be changing her mind though. Her feet were sinking ankles-deep into the sand and walking costed more energy than she was willing to spare. Wind was blowing tiny grains into her eyes and into her nose. Next to her, Madara was moving at equally sluggish pace. Maybe she should have healed him at least a bit… Did it hurt to have a hole in your system? Irritated, ridden with guilt, and at her limits, Sakura waited until he came closer and wound her arm around his waist. "We should lean on each other. It will be easier…"

He didn't say anything, but reciprocated the embrace. Their arms crossed behind their backs. Holding herself steady became indeed easier, noticed Sakura taking the first step. Madara was leaning at her as well. And he was less bulky than she expected. Right, Sakura mentally corrected herself – they weren't eating much for a fortnight or so.

Food. Sakura wondered what kind of provision will they find in that village. For sure there will be a lot of preserved fish, salted and smoked… Dried konbu… And rice. For sure they had rice there. She was already picturing herself going through some poor peoples' storages and sleeping in someone's bed…

"You said there was a village!" Sakura exclaimed in disappointment when they took a turn around the rocks and faced a small bay.

"Yes? What else would it be?"

"Those are literally five huts!"

"Which makes it a village."

"Maybe according to your standards…" she murmured but pressed on. Five huts or not, she needed a bed.

She pried open the door to the first one and immediately backed off.

"What's wrong?!" demanded Madara, a tinge of alert in his voice.

"Not going there. Let's try another one." Sakura jerked her shoulders trying to shake off the image of a tiny cocoon dangling over a baby's cradle. It started to sway when the wind got through the open door. "Let's find such one where no one had been home, when Tsukuyomi happened…"

The third hut was empty. A cocoon decorated the porch, but Sakura bit her teeth, entered and started unbuckling her belt. With the last bits of energy, she summoned some water and whatever two items that happened to be first in her food scroll – a can of beans and some crackers.

There was a common sleeping pallet in the corner – shoving the third cracker into her mouth she separated one mattress from it, gather an armful of covers and blankets and went into the only separate space in the hut – a food storage. She dropped herself onto the makeshift bed ready to pass out. "Oh!" Sakura sat up remembering. "If you quiet your chakra," she shouted out to Madara who was still standing at the doorstep, "you'll stop losing so much through the leak. I'll get to fixing you first thing in the morning, I promise!"

* * *

She had no idea how long she slept. It was bright outside, but that didn't tell much. It could have been still bright, or already bright. Carefully moving stiff limbs, Sakura stood up.

In the main room Madara was sitting cross-legged by the low table. An empty bowl was to his left, and Sakura's own bingo book in front of him.

"There is cooked rice," he said without lifting his eyes from the paper.

"What are you doing with my bingo-book? And where did you get it from?" Sakura plopped by the table and reached for the cooking pot. "And where did you find this rice? I was sleeping in the storage…"

"Rice - in another house. And your bingo book in your pouch."

"You went through my stuff?!"

"You slept through the night and half of the day. It's long past noon. I needed paper for my calculations." Only now Sakura noticed that the front cover of the bingo book was three-quarters covered with fine, neat scribbles. "I didn't want to go through your scrolls, not to breach your… privacy..."

"But you didn't balk at going through my bag…"

"My respect has limits."

Sakura shoved rice into her mouth. It was so good that she didn't have it in herself to stay angry. "So, what are you calculating?"

"The number of dimensions. And how long will it take us browse through them."

Sakura shifted closer. "And? How many are there?"

"If the first layer around us is 26, then the next is 98, then 218, 386. I stopped at the fourth and now I'm formulating a general equation." Madara put the pencil down. "But it doesn't really matter. Up to fourth layer it's already seven hundred…" he glimpsed at the paper, "seven hundred twenty-eight and it's clear that we need a system. If I cannot make more than seven jumps, and you cannot summon your slug more than three times without passing out…"

"I didn't pass out!"

"Then it makes sense that we come back to this dimension," continued Madara smoothly ignoring Sakura's outburst, "only during the exploration of the first layer, otherwise we would waste more energy on getting to a new place than on actually checking it. We need to make our recovery stops in other dimensions and keep going from there. And if you need a full night and day of sleep…"

"I don't! I just invested too much into healing you!" Sakura smashed her palm against the table. The rice bowl jumped. A faintest mirage of her shishou behind Hokage's desk shimmered somewhere deep in Sakura's mind. She took a deep breath and came down from her high. Her wounded pride had no place here. "I think I could manage four summonings when I'm rested. And if we prove that entry dimension is the same for all travelers, I can think about summoning her smaller. If you will be telling me about fractures in your chakra system immediately when you feel them, the chakra cost for repair will be lower. Maybe I could even heal you preemptively…?"

"Yes. Good points, all. We should also define conditions under which searching a dimension is unnecessary."

"What do you mean?"

"That void, for example. Searching it was pointless. Your teammates have been gone for three weeks now. Had they landed there, or someplace similar, and didn't have a way out, they are dead by now. Face it."

Rice she was just swallowing stuck in Sakura's throat. "Don't say that."

"Will me not saying it make it any less real?"

Blinking tears away Sakura jumped to her feet and ran towards the sea.

* * *

Half an hour later she returned, eyes dry and lips pressed into a thin line. "We need more supplies. Transportation scrolls most of all. Weapons. And good, sturdy water containers. Because I assume there is a freshwater source somewhere here?" Sakura turned around. "Meaning, we need to get to some ninja village and loot it."

"Heal me, and I can get us to the tree."

"You want to loot the corpses?! At this stage of decay?!"

"That's one single most concentrated source of ninja supplies. In history, most probably. Would be a shame not to use it."

"I'm not touching the corpses again. Go by yourself if you want. I'll gather what I can from here - we'll need civilian food as well."

.

He didn't teleport, but summoned Susano'o and flew. Sakura caught herself being elated at the view. As if the ultimate destructive ghost-warrior of Uchiha clan spreading his wings was a landmark of old times when the world was still in order. Wasn't it one twisted notion…?

When he came back, she had all that was valuable in this tiny village piled and categorized on the beach. Bags of rice. Barrels of salted fish. Whatever firewood she could find. Cooking utensils, knives, leather straps, rolls of impregnated fabric, blankets, candles. If they succeed, _when_ they succeed - the first thing she's doing is returning this loan to the villagers tenfold.

"You stink," said Sakura not even turning her head from the clay pots she was arranging. "Go wash yourself first."

"You don't smell with roses either, and I'm not complaining."

"You smell with _corpses_. And I think I have right to complain."

She only heard him undressing and going into the sea because she didn't turn from her work.

"Here," he handed her a scroll with a still wet hand a while later. "I suppose it will be sufficient."

Sakura undid the seal. Hundreds and thousands of scrolls spilled out of it and piled around her. Scrolls intermixed with kunai, shuriken, sets of explosive tags, couple of high-quality katanas… And Obito's scythe. And a huge gunbai. Sakura raised her eyebrows but she stopped herself from commenting. Everyone should be allowed some sentimental items. Of whatever kind they were…

She carefully stepped out of the mountain of scrolls. "I forgot telling you – I can only undid the seals on Konoha scrolls…"

Madara sent her a look that spoke volumes about what he thought of her negligence. And probably all her other shortcomings. "I might have seen the seal sequences of Suna and Iwa with my Sharingan… Given enough time I'll break the others as well."

"Then I'll start with the Konoha ones…"

Two hours later all empty scrolls lied piled next to her. She recovered tons of items out of them, and they should definitely secure them somehow, but for now she resorted to dividing them into 'useful' and 'not useful'. She hadn't imagined that it will be such a difficult task to go through the last earthly possessions of the fallen and to throw them away. Right now, she was playing with a silver chain, weaving it around her fingers. The geometric, vaguely floral pendant was exactly the same style she had once admired at a jeweler's stand in Suna. She remembered the street; she was sure she could find that workshop again. Maybe once it was all over, she could ask who had bought it? It looked rather new… Did it belong to a kunoichi? Or was it a memento given by a wife or a girlfriend to a shinobi going to the war? Maybe she could find the relatives and return it to them…?

"What are you doing?" Madara's sharp tone snapped her out of her reverie.

"I… I was thinking about the owner of this pendant. You don't remember per chance whom this scroll," she held it up for him to see, "belonged to?"

Madara looked at her as if she was crazy. "No? Why should I? I wasn't paying attention whom I was looting. And why do you even waste time on such divagations?"

"That's not a wasted time to spare some minutes to think about the dead!"

"There have been countless people dead throughout the history. Everyone that had lived had also died. How are those shinobi different from anyone else? Why should we spare thoughts on them?"

"How can you be so heartless?!" Sakura shoved the chain into her pocket. She _will_ find the relatives.

"Why should I care about those people? Will my caring change anything? Bring them to life? Make their lives retroactively better? Thousands died on that battlefield. Tens of thousands would have died that very day in their beds, had there be no war at all."

"You know, that's exactly your problem! You don't see people as individuals! All you think about is some abstract concept of a 'mankind'! You claim you wanted to save us all, but in reality, you don't even like people…"

"Hmm. It's been quite a while since I held any sentiments towards someone in particular... And thinking about the human kind as a concept was what allowed me to see the bigger picture, to find a solution to stop all the suffering..." he broke off abruptly and went back to sorting the scrolls.

It took another half an hour for him to finish the task. With the corner of her eye Sakura saw how he sat down cross-legged and stared at the pile. "Or rather, I thought I found the solution," he said as if to himself. Sakura heard it alright, though…

"We should get going," she answered even though this remark wasn't directed at her. If it was on her to keep his spirits up, she will stand up to the task. Because that's what people do – they support each other. Even if he was the last person she would want to support, she will. Because he _was_ the last person awake. And even if he didn't give a shit about camaraderie and friendship, she did, and she would always stand by her principles. "Let's check as many dimensions as we can today." Sakura had a feeling that practical solutions would work better for him than empty words of consolation. "If we proceed reasonably and not overdo it, then a normal night rest should be sufficient to recover."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After a long break, I'm back! I'm publishing as I write from here on, and I am a bit unsure about the pacing, so feedback would be most welcome!


	5. Chapter 5

They landed in a new dimension and from the first glimpse it's clear it was habitable. The air held all kinds of smells, mostly aetheric oils from sun-baked plants, and there were herbs and grasses growing between the stones of a mountain slope they were standing on. And there was buzz of insects in the air. Madara took a step and at least half a dozen of grasshoppers jumped from under his feet. In his peripheral view he saw Sakura falling on her knees and frantically grasping at a tuff of vegetation. She ripped a handful of plants and buried her face in it.

He could sympathize. He would never have made such a display out of his emotions, but he got her. The ruin that their world had become was becoming unbearable. The worlds they've been to recently were even worse – either black voids, or black empty planes. One had stars on what he assumed was the sky but those stars were overly bright and as if too close. They checked entire front side of the cube, and, save the lower middle one - which was a very hot, sandy desert – all the dimensions were empty.

Sakura was still on her knees, smelling the herbs, one by one. It looked as if she was assessing their edibility and not indulging in further sentiments. Her emotionality was something that needed getting adjusted to. He took it slowly for granted, but still, he preferred when she was keeping herself in check. He didn't quite know how to treat her in those moments, it was tempting to take charge of situation and stop taking her opinions into account. But he knew she will resent it later. But logical discussion with her when she was at her most emotional was near impossible. Usually his arguments were either reaching deaf ears or upsetting her more.

But he shouldn't complain. She was holding quite well, given the circumstances. She just had worse days. Like yesterday, when she was crying in the storage when she thought he wouldn't hear.

Something moved between the stones. Madara spun, immediately breaking out of his thoughts. He glanced at Sakura – she was with her back to the motion; she couldn't have seen it. Good that he was paying attention. He stepped in so that he was in line between of her and potential danger, and slowly walked down, towards the pile of rocks. A small snake wiggled its way down the slope disappearing between the rubble. Madara lowered his kunai. This world was definitely promising.

The slug that she summoned moments later was huge, she really must have put a lot of her chakra into it. But something was off with it. It wiggled and moved in agitation, and since it was so big, several rocks broke off and rolled down the valley.

"Sakura-chan! Why did you summoned me here?!"

"What do you mean 'why', Katsuyu-sama? It's the next dimension. And maybe the best we've got so far!"

"We don't mean to provoke any hostilities! Release me!"

"Hostilities?!"

"Summoning me so big, in a place like than! A war is the last thing we need when your world is trapped by the tree!"

Sakura stood with her mouth open.

"It's the snakes' dimension. They will consider my presence here an attack. Summon me again, but much smaller than I can explain more," finished Katsuyu and disappeared in a puff of smoke. A dozen of boulders displaced by the slug rolled downhill.

The next slug Sakura summoned was small enough to perch on her shoulder. And even there it looked anxious.

"Katsuyu-sama," started Sakura. It always amused him how respectfully was she addressing her summon. Clearly the hierarchy in this relationship was a bit skewed. "What are you talking about? The snakes, summons of Orochimaru? But Madara just jumped into a new dimension…"

" _Exactly_ those snakes. I cannot stay here!" the slug turned around looking behind itself. "Even if in Triple Deadlock snake fears slug, now that I'm so small, I can get eaten… Sakura-chan, I'm confident that you can appeal to the snakes. Once they are made aware of the situation in human dimension, they will cooperate, I'm sure," finished Katsuyu and disappeared.

"It seems that summoning animals simply inhabit dimensions like ours… I would have never expected that… But if that's the case then it would make sense that they inhabit the adjacent ones," concluded Madara.

"Alright." Sakura squared her shoulders and started downhill. "They were in the end Sasuke-kun's summons as well. They cannot be that bad."

"Who is Sasuke-kun?"

He saw how she tensed and paused before taking another step. "My teammate."

"Which one? The Jinchuuriki?"

"No." Another pause in her descend. "The other one." Ah, so that was her problem. Uchiha kid. How interesting.

"That's a very untypical name for an Uchiha."

"Is it? I wouldn't know."

She was silent all the way down to the bottom of the valley. Madara caught himself being taken aback by it. The girl was always so talkative, chatty even. ' _Not the girl, but Sakura,_ ' he mentally corrected himself. He had learned her name only two days prior, when he had heard the slug addressing her. He still didn't know her family name. Judging from her summon and the properties of her chakra, it was possible that she was a Senju. But he wouldn't lower himself to asking. It will come up sooner or later.

The serpent that was waiting for them at the mouth of the gorge was an impressive creature indeed. Each scale glimmered around the edges and the entire creature shimmered as if it was one with the waters of the ravine. When it stretched itself to its full height Madara had to look up. A cheap intimidation display, he thought, but still he couldn't help to feel a small irk. Sakura, standing some meters in front of him, looked so small next to the snake. Fragile. Killable. He knew it was an illusion, as she could par the blow of the snake's tail probably with one hand. But still. He disliked the visual.

"Who are you and why are you here, humanss? If you sseek the ssummoning contract, you are painfully misstaken. We don't accept contractorss that eassily. Or at all."

"Forgive our intrusion." Sakura bowed formally, taking her eyes off the beast. Which was either extreme foolishness, or a sign of great trust in him, thought Madara. "Me and my companion," continued Sakura gesturing in his direction, "we're looking for your summoner, Uchiha Sasuke…"

"Our ssummoner…" hissed the snake and shifted its coils. Madara had impression that it was arranging itself in a more suitable position for an attack. He had the Sharingan still activated, but Sakura was too far to teleport her away. He would need to either fire an attack, which would be difficult with Sakura standing in the way, or to catch the beast's eyes so he could put it under genjutsu. "Our ssummoner, you ssay… That brat, he had audacity of killing one of our brethren… He sssummoned Manda and killed him…"

"I… I'm so sorry to hear that… But I know nothing about it… And I don't understand - I saw one of you answering his summoning, not longer than a month ago, during a great war in our dimension…"

"Only Aoda ansswers to him now. But it wass a while ssince he wass ssummoned. And yesss, it was for a war."

"So, you didn't have contact with Sasuke ever since?"

"No… And we're happy to keep it thisss way…"

Madara saw Sakura fidgeting. He wondered what does she still want from the snake – it was clear that her teammates weren't in this dimension.

"I'm sure," she blurted out, "I'm sure he didn't mean to! Please don't hold this tragic incident against him! I'm sure he was forced by circumstances, otherwise he would have never!" With her palms nervously balled into fists she stepped towards the snake. Too close. She breached the unspoken boundary. "Please forgive him!"

The middle part of the snake raised itself to give the incoming strike more momentum, but Madara was already next to her. He placed his hand on Sakura's arm. "Come. We thank you for the information, we will not impose any further," he said to the snake.

Her shoulder was still stiff under his palm when they landed on the fisher's bay beach. He let his hand linger there a split of second longer than it was necessary. Some very distant muscle memory was suggesting rubbing a soothing circle at it. Acknowledging this reflex with a great astonishment he removed his hand. "What has gotten into you to provoke him so?" he said. "You almost got him to lunge at you."

Sakura was looking at her feet - like a pouting kid who thought that not engaging in discussion would make the problem disappear. Oh well, he could let it slide. "Summoning animals' dimensions belonging to our dimension-lattice is best news we've got so far." He changed the topic instead. "All those animals have to live off of something – we can have food source there. For us now, and potentially for the rest of humanity once it wakes up." Sakura didn't seem overjoyed, she was chewing her lip, submerged deep in her thoughts. "Let's search further and see if we can find your slug dimension, shall we?" he added, despite himself feeling the need to cheer her up.

* * *

Their next jump led them to an inhabitable, but peculiarly looking place. Huge leaves of wild colors were sprouting from the ground. Strange, horn-like shapes spilled cascades of water from their tops. And the mountains surrounding the valley seemed too geometrical for anything made by nature. Or the nature as Madara knew it.

"Is this the slug dimension?"

"No." Sakura shook her head. "But those mountains remind me of something Naruto told me once… It might be Mount Myōboku!" Sakura clapped her hands together. "The toads' dimension!" she added when it was clear he didn't get it.

"And why are you so excited?"

"Because those are Naruto's and Jirayia-sama's frogs! I know many of them, Jirayia-sama used them to communicate with my shishou, and when Naruto came back, we hung out with some of them!"

And so, she went off, skipping up every third step. Madara shook his head - how could she change her mood so quickly? The pink of her hair was barely visible between the leaves' stalks already so he followed. He found her by a small puddle talking to what looked like a tadpole with already developed legs. And an ornamental, orange ribbon around its middle. And another, red one at the tip of its tail. Madara reigned in an urge to roll his eyes.

Sakura stood up. "Yosh! We should head that way." She pointed left. "Oh, I'm so excited to meet them! I'm sure they can offer us advice or at least just... just..." She went sad again. "Or just have a chat." She wrapped her arms around herself and started in the pointed direction. "I miss having someone to talk to…"

When after good two hours of hike they stood in front a funny looking, tiny hut, Madara thought that maybe the effort was worth it. That maybe there will be a meal and hospitality to be had there. His hopes were cut short when Sakura flat out refused a dinner invitation from a creature that looked like a cross between a toad and a tiny, shriveled grandma from a very remote village. And, staying in character of that grandma-persona, was very keen on feeding them. But the looks of the creature were just a ruse. Madara could feel raw power swimming through and out of the it. Power more raw and primal than the one of Hashirama's Mokuton.

Nevertheless, in they went, and, crouched by a too small table, between the sips of awfully bitter greenish concoction they gave account of the situation. Madara felt quite out of place reporting like that to the creature, but it was mostly Sakura anyhow who did the talking. Only from time to time the creature would ask him specifics, unfailingly addressing him as 'boy'. When after half of an hour, a second toad-like creature arrived, the entire story had to be repeated. As the male toad was served his meal Madara understood the Sakura's reasons for refusing the food. To avoid watching the creature gorging on living worms, Madara concentrated on scrutinizing how two toads' chakras complemented and complimented each other, creating something akin to a perfect sphere enclosing them both. Truly an ultimate defense it must have been. And, most probably, an equally fearsome offense.

The pause in Sakura's tale brought Madara's attention back to his interlocutors. The male toad was pacing the room, stroking his goatee pensively. "So child, you're saying that the goddess jumps around dimensions like ours?"

"I believe so. Obito-san, using exactly those eyes," Sakura gestured in Madara's direction, "was able to access her dimensions. But at that point we didn't know that your dimension would be accessible this way as well…"

"Hmmm… It means, we can have a direct solution to the problem…"

"A solution!?" Sakura jumped on her feet sending her tea cup crashing against the floor. "Fukasaku-sama, what do you mean!?"

"Naruto-chan has a contract with us. If you could summon Katsuyu into those dimensions, it means we can reverse-summon Naruto here."

Sakura stilled. Madara could practically see the cogs turning in her brain. "But," she said slowly, "you don't have contract with Sasuke-kun…"

"Of course, we don't. Ma, would you join me? Together, our summoning will be stronger."

"No! Wait! What about Sasuke!? Are you going to leave him there?"

"We'll get out one, and then we'll figure out how to get the other."

"No." The Sakura's voice reached a pitch reserved for enemies, and not allies.

Madara stood up. "Calm down. They have a point. Your Sasuke has contract with the snakes. If it works with the toads for the jinchuuriki, it will…"

"No! Are you all crazy?! You want to leave him alone?! What if rabbit goddess is still there?! Alone he won't stand a chance!"

"We'll go and negotiate with the snakes, we'll find this Aoda…"

"Over my dead body!"

Female toad hopped to the middle of the room. Madara could almost see the rivers of chakra sinking into her. Sakura lunged forward. Too slow. He grabbed her by the waist. "No!" she screamed and twisted in his grip. He hands flew to the arms encircling her and he felt a powerful pull of chakra-enhanced strength. But he saw it coming – his arm was already covered in Susanoo armor and it didn't budge. "Noooo!" she howled.

In unison, toads raised their paws to their mouths, bit at them and dug them into the ground.

"Kuchiyose-no-jutsu!"

Madara could feel how the girl in his arms stopped breathing. In the silence that followed she didn't inhale for many long heartbeats, eyes plastered to the summoning seal in the middle of the room.

It took them all a very long while to realize that nothing was going to happen.

"It didn't work…" croaked the female toad.

Sakura slumped over his arm like a rag doll. He released his hold and she fell to her knees. "But why? Why?"

The male toad shook his head. "I don't know… Maybe there are limits that to Kuchiyose-no-jutsu that we are not aware of…"

"They might simply be out of our reach. Too far away," suggested the female toad, eyeing Sakura who knelt slumped on the floor. A cheap attempt on consolation – the power that those toads wielded was magnificent and if there was a limit, it must have been huge.

Sakura didn't buy it either. She didn't budge, didn't even raise her head. "Or maybe… maybe…" she whispered and suddenly lifted her hands to her mouth. "Oh gods, please no! They cannot be dead!"

* * *

The next day it took quite some goading from his side to get the girl moving in the morning. She had cried through half of the night again, and dark circles under her eyes were a testament to it.

They found the slug dimension on that day; it was indeed adjacent to the toads' and snakes' ones. She smiled a bit seeing an apparently familiar place and chatted with some of the lesser slugs, but all in all was much less overjoyed than he imagined she would have been. The failure of summoning from the day prior had taken a toll on her.

The next days they checked the entire top and most of the right side of the first layer and found several dimensions inhabited by various summoning animals, all clustered around the up-right edge of the cube. He kept a careful eye on the girl. During the first day there was certain stiffness in her movements – she must have been actively fending off the thoughts about futility of their pursuit. After she finally slept through a night, she seemed in much better disposition. Or maybe she was just acting – he didn't know her well enough to tell.

It occurred to him that she can very well be the last person he will ever have chance to know. Know her, understand her, learn her world view, know her enough to guess her words before she would speak them, guess her mood from her gestures, guess her thoughts from the expressions of her face…

It was decades since he was intimate enough with someone to know that. He remembered vaguely how it was with Izuna. But it was so far away. Images were still there, but the emotions were gone. He wondered when did it stop hurting. After his first death? After the second? Or maybe it was just the flow of time that blunted the edge of pain?

* * *

Only the bottom and the back of the cube were left. It took them eight days if his calculation was correct – even longer than he had initially estimated. But they were almost done with the first layer, just six dimensions more… They couldn't finish it today, but maybe tomorrow. Madara molded his chakra and focused on a dimension in the bottom plane, the one directly behind him. He felt Sakura tightening her fingers on his shoulders, as she sent a pulse of energy into his system, reinforcing the chakra channels in his core one last time.

He jumped.

 _'_ _Fuck,'_ was his one and only thought in their free-fall into a lake of boiling lava. He didn't think. He didn't think at all. He reacted. Grabbing Sakura blindly with arm bent to the point of pain, he jumped again.

They collide with the hard ground and rolled. Sakura's shriek still rung in his ears, even though she was silent now, save small noises of discomfort. Those noises allowed him to localize her, as the dimension was completely dark.

"Madara? Where are you?" she called out.

He propped himself up and crawled on all fours in her direction. "Here." He reached out and his hand landed on her leg. "I'm here."

"What the hell happened? Where are we?"

"I escaped that lava dimension – I jumped again."

"But why didn't you come back to our word?!"

"I was already concentrated on the back-bottom direction, so it was easier to just continue along the same course. It was quicker. Changing direction requires me to move my attention and 'grab' with my chakra someplace else. And turning back even more so." Madara ran his hand down the leg of his trousers. They were whole. He touched his sandals – the straps were in place, but the soles… His hand jumped away instinctively – the soles were hot, and probably partially melted. "That was close… Are you hurt?"

"No, I'm fine. I think you were a bit lower during the fall. But that lava chamber - I know it, we've been there already when Kaguya teleported us! We need to come back!"

"We'll land over the lava again. Do you have a death-wish, girl? I barely managed to get us out of there."

"But they can be there! There, in that very dimension! She could have taken them there! Make a Susanoo instead of jumping - it can fly!"

"It requires time to form it."

"And don't tell me that the great Uchiha Madara doesn't have enough skill…"

She was playing dirty. _'She really didn't have to do it,'_ though Madara with resentment. He would have agreed anyhow, he could recognize a solid argument when he saw one. "Fine. Heal me," he said. And now it looked as if was doing it only due to his ego.

* * *

He did manage in time. Susanoo took flight some three meters above the level of the magma. Its armor protected them partially from the heat, but still their clothing caught fire. Nothing that a small Suiton technique followed by medical jutsu wouldn't remedy, but still – the call was too close for Madara's liking.

The slug Sakura summoned when on the edge of the crater was comparable to a tailed beast in size. He didn't know that the summoning animals would grow this large. And then, when the slug failed to detect anything, she had him fly them in Susanoo hundreds of kilometers in some random direction because 'she had a feeling'. The re-summoned Katsuyu found no signs of life and it was her who finally convinced Sakura to consider the dimension as checked.

The situation was about to repeat itself, when they landed in the next dimension – full on rolling hills and deep valleys, all striped, in strange shades of purple. Sakura called this place Kaguya's core dimension and promptly attempted to summon another huge Katsuyu. She failed quite spectacularly, collapsing on her knees with blood gushing from her nose and mouth.

Seeing that further search made no sense, Madara grabbed her and jumped to their world, where Sakura made a proper scene demanding him to go back and continue the search. He indulged her for quite some minutes, but his patience got exhausted when, running out of arguments, the girl charged at him with a kunai. So, he knocked her out, slung her over the shoulder and went to the village.

Now she was securely tucked in her bed in the storage and he was waiting for the tea water to boil.

* * *

They found two additional 'Kaguya's dimensions' as Sakura called them – an ice-world and a high gravity-world - and spend days scouting them. Both, along with the 'core dimension' turned out empty. Sakura took it badly. And so did Katsuyu, who sustained damage being repeatedly squashed into a pathetically looking, disk-like shape by the increased gravity. Madara, despite being amused, had to marvel at the lengths the slug was willing to go to for her summoner. Such a loyalty spoke volumes about Sakura's worth, more than any of her own actions.

Now she was sleeping, curled like a cat, wrapped in the covers.

They were scouting the second layer already, and decided against returning to the fisher village after each jump. This way, they were saving their energy on exploring new dimension, and not wasting it on going back-and-forth. The downside was necessity of setting up a camp in those alien places. Madara never let it show, but even for him it was an unsettling experience. Sakura was downright afraid. He could see her double- and triple-checking the barrier seals around the camp and carefully wrapping her feet with the blanket, so that no part of her body would peek from under the covers. She also needed longer than usual to fall asleep.

But now she was sleeping. This ridiculous pink hair of hers was splayed across the mat and it looked reddish in the light of the campfire. It grew a bit longer already since the war. Madara wondered when will she cut it. Or maybe she won't. She might look good with longer hair. But she will cut it – she was so earnest on emphasizing how tough she was. A mark of a person who needed to work very hard for the recognition, he assumed.

He went back to staring into fire. He always liked it. The dance of flames, how the heat ate into the timber until it glowed, how it disintegrated the matter until the logs of wood would become filigree and see-through. He liked watching the delicate balance of the randomly put-together construction that was being constantly challenged by a yet another piece breaking down under its own weight and collapsing.

But today, the sleeping girl was more interesting. She was motionless where flames were dancing. But there was some solace in that. He didn't want her to wake up. He didn't want her to get up and put on that brave façade of hers, to mull over what ifs and passing time and all that she perceived as her responsibilities.

When awoken, the reality would come crushing down on her. Her face would tighten again into that tense mask she wore trying to keep her grief to herself. She would again grow exhausted and homesick and sad… And lonely. And if she kept doing that, day by day, she would grow as hard and bitter as he was. That was it - he didn't want her to become like him. That optimism, that faith in life she still held inside her - he had lost those long time ago. He learned to hate it because that was driving the resistance against the Tsukuyomi Plan. But now the Plan was gone, but here he was – still with the worldview he constructed, with the worldview that proved false.

But if this world was to come to life again, it would need people like her. People with hope.

He looked at her again. What kind of dreams were on the other side of those close eyelids? On the outside, she seemed so calm. And her eyelashes were also pink, he concluded with amusement. And thick – like little fans they cast funny, feathery shadows on her cheeks. He never noticed such details on anyone before.

No, she would never give up on mankind, no matter what horror she would witness. She would always find good in people. In general, as well in particular. Like she fought for this stray Uchiha teammate of hers – it was clear that the boy was perceived as enemy by the rest of ninja alliance. But not by her - she had nothing but love for him. She was like that – forgiving and welcoming. Open to people. Exactly how a woman should be…

There was a briefest flash of a visual. So brief, that he almost missed it – woman's arms opening to embrace him. Woman's lips half-open as if in a…

' _No,_ ' he thought. He wouldn't dwell on such things.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and I would love to hear your opinions!


	6. Chapter 6

They were searching the second layer. More animal-dimensions were filling up their scheme. Turtles- dimension, dimension of some strange marten-like creatures. Crows-dimension. At the discovery of dogs-dimension Sakura got emotional in a way Madara didn't understand. He couldn't quite tell if her agitation was stemming from positive of negative emotions, and when he inquired, she didn't tell him. She only stated that she knew some of the summons personally and needed to find them. She pressed on camping there and had them trek across the dimension entire day long, in the direction pointed out by the first-encountered dog. It was dusk when they found a medium-sized, brown ninken wearing sunglasses. Sakura addressed him as 'Akino' and in a strained voice asked him to 'get the others'. Then she sat down and proceeded to ignore Madara's efforts to set up a camp.

When after an hour or so, Akino arrived in tow with six other dogs of all shapes and sizes, Sakura finally stood up. Now Madara could tell clearly – she was upset and holding on by the last shreds of her strength. Her mouth was set into a thin line as if she was trying her hardest not to burst into tears. Surrounded by the dogs, holding the smallest of them in her arms, she went deeper into the forest. Bigger dogs were nudging at her legs over and over again as if sensing her distress.

Some minutes later, Madara heard howling. At first of a single dog, but its sound didn't even manage to die away before other voices joined it. Eerie chant rolled through the forest.

It was deep night when Sakura came back and sat by the dying fire. Her cheeks were all wet with tears. It was the first time she let herself cry openly in front of him, and he didn't have a consolation. He didn't lay another log into the fire though, thinking she might prefer darkness. He could still see her well enough in the moonlight.

"What are they doing?" he asked softly. Howling was sounding from all the sides now, the hills around them were singing.

Sakura lifted up her head to look at him. The tears were rolling down her cheeks. "They are mourning their summoner."

When they were packing up the next morning, a grey, wolf-like dog size of a horse approached their camp. He was accompanied with the same small ninken with squashed face that Sakura carried in her arms last evening.

"Student of Hatake," said the great hound and Sakura bowed deeply holding one hand to her chest. "We grant you, and your companion, the hunting rights in our world. That's the least we can do."

* * *

Other noteworthy event during the exploration of the second layer was them nearly drowning in the sea of acid. He teleported them away. He managed once again. When he lied splayed on the bare stones of the next dimension, his legs being treated by Sakura, he wanted howl. Not from pain, even though it was immense – the skin on his lower legs was almost gone, and it was only powerful Suiton jutsu that Sakura timely released that saved them by diluting and washing away the acid. He wanted to howl from the realization that had it been the last jump his chakra system could have supported, they would have been dead.

"We're never doing more than five jumps per day. Never again."

Sakura moved her hands away from his legs. That violet, shimmering seal was still enveloping her, changing her face into something alien, into something greater than she was. "It will slow us down."

"It will keep us alive. I'm not risking a single jump more if I don't have at least two jumps as a reserve. What we're doing is insanity – we're jumping head first into complete unknown." He was supposed to find those brats to break the Tsukuyomi, not to get pointlessly killed. But that wasn't all. He couldn't stand it - he couldn't cope with the thought that he had put her life at such a great risk. It weighted on him like a thousand of tones – that feeling of responsibility that he forgot two lifetimes ago.

"We have no time to waste!" she reiterated.

"I know. But it's already second dimension, in, how many? Fifty? Two in fifty that almost got us killed. The probability…"

Sakura was studying her sketchbook. "The probability may be unevenly distributed. This acid dimension… It was also on the bottom of the cube… There where Kaguya's lava dimension was. Maybe the worlds form clusters according to their properties? Look here." She pushed the notebook in his direction. "The animals' dimension cluster here," she pointed up to the corner of the cube, "so maybe the lethal ones also cluster together?"

Madara was pouring water on what was left from his trousers. "Maybe. Does it mean that I should be ready for hellfire in the next one?"

"Kind of."

"Then we better sleep already here. At least the ground isn't actively trying to dissolve us."

* * *

They finished the second layer and moved to the third. More empty, black dimensions followed and with each of them Sakura was growing quieter.

Each 'evening' before going to sleep she was perfecting her dimension map. She ripped the pages from her notebook, glued them together and drew each layer on a separate sheet. The third layer map was assembled from nine notebook pages and, to use it they had to lay it on the ground and walk around it.

_'_ _Once we get to the fifth layer, we will need to walk on it,'_ thought Madara.

Katsuyu was rarely required, so Sakura could spend most of her chakra on healing him, increasing the number of his daily jumps. Even with the precautions they were keeping a decent speed, around seven jumps a day. But defining days was becoming fuzzy. Their 'nights' were happening when Sakura had to regenerate her chakra.

"We need to keep track of time. Our sleep cycles will deregulate. Plus, there is no day and night in many dimensions. Or different days and nights."

Sakura peeked from under her blanket. She developed a habit of sleeping with her head covered, probably to further shield herself from their circumstances. Madara wondered how wasn't she suffocating. And he couldn't watch her in her sleep anymore. "The perceived 'days' get longer once organism is deprived of environmental cues," she pointed out.

"Keep track of your cycle."

"Pardon?"

"Keep track of your bleedings. Write them down. Good chance you will deregulate as well but it's our best shot."

Sakura sat up, wide awake, and opened her mouth in disgrace. "I'm not your freaking calendar!"

"But you will be one."

* * *

"You need to do something to feel better." She was starting to worry him. Now, she was sitting by the fire, motionless like a statue. Entire last day she didn't speak save the barest minimum necessary for communication. "Reality won't get better any soon, I know, but you need to give your mind some repose."

Sakura looked at him. Her eyes lacked the sparks. "Yeah, I know… I should work on that…" she sighed. "In the end the way how I feel only comes from chemicals in my brain…"

"Really? Chemicals? It's all that it takes?"

"Maybe it's not _all_ it takes, but it boils down to that. In the end those chemicals are the goal. How you get them up is irrelevant."

"And how do you get them up?"

"Except for your life being in order?"

"Except."

"Chocolate. Training. Feeling loved."

"Well, we don't have any of those. And we should prioritize saving our chakra and not burn it out on sparings."

In the end, it was him who suggested going back 'home'. He pointed out their need to re-supply and she didn't put up much protest. He hoped that walking under normal sun and sleeping in a normal bed would stabilize her a bit.

He was partially right.

She apparently enjoyed sitting on the porch, especially in the evenings. She picked up mending the fishing net that was lying next to the cocoon there. Once, when the door was open, he overheard her talking.

"Doesn't this cloud front look like a storm to you?" he heard her asking. "Sure it does to me… But I've never lived on the coast, and I heard that weather patterns are different here. Do you have many storms here, Yoshiko-san? I bet you do…"

Madara froze. She gave a name to the cocoon.

"Probably mostly in winter…" continued Sakura. "Which will be soon. Don't worry, I'll take a look at the roof. I don't know much about construction, but I'll make sure there will be no leaks, this I can promise!"

The next day he indeed found her on the rooftop. To make things even more absurd, she had him find some boards, climb up as well and nail them to the rafters.

He thanked all the gods when the same day they left into the dimension maze. There at least she was focusing her energy on something less disquieting.

The next time they came back, which was a month later, the first thing she did was to climb the roof of another hut. "Our neighbours also need their houses taken care off," she retorted when he tried to protest.

* * *

"I want to go to the tree," announced Sakura when they finished the necessary restocking of the scrolls. And fixed the roof of the Tanaka's house. _'Which would have gone quicker had Madara concentrated more on helping and less on rolling his eyes,'_ she thought.

Nevertheless, she was really satisfied with their day's work. They were already packed, and she came up with a brilliant idea of sealing the sealing scrolls inside other sealing scrolls. They could spare so much space this way! That made her feel a bit more grounded, a bit more self-assured. They could come back home more rarely this way; they will be more efficient with their search. Maybe not a game-changer, but still an improvement… And when they move to deeper layers it will make a difference. So, today she felt she could face it.

"Why?"

"Everyone's there. Everyone I know. I miss them. I miss them so much…"

"You won't see them. I'm not sure if this is such a good idea. You will only get more upset."

"Probably. But I still want to. And I know what you are thinking about it," she added seeing his look. "And I don't care."

She was bracing herself for the shock but still she wasn't prepared for what she saw. Seen from the descending Susanoo the battlefield was enormous. When she had been down there before, she had been able to see tens, maybe hundreds of cocoons at once. The rest was obscured by the landmarks and tree roots. From the bird's eye perspective, she could see tens of thousands. White lumps littered the ground until the horizon.

And the tree. Standing under it, one couldn't comprehend its size. Now she could.

Madara was right, it made her only feel worse. Nevertheless, she continued her stroll through that semi-graveyard, watching cocoon after cocoon as the hung, lied and stood. She wanted to hack and beat at the roots, but it was pointless. Sand got into her shoes and she was thirsty.

She passed by a cocoon with a peculiar shape – it was more round at the base, more bulky. Sakura circled it slowly, aware that her brain was trying to make a connection. This shape – it reminded her of something, of something very familiar…

She looked around. In the landscape of yellow sand and pale cocoons a spark of color suddenly popped up. Sakura almost jumped. Next to the abnormally formed cocoon, there was another one, very close. She passed by it. From the next one something violet was sticking out and fluttering in the wind. Sakura came up closer.

Deep violet, smooth and lustrous. With perfectly trimmed ends. She would recognize this hair anywhere.

Sakura dropped to her knees. "Hinata! Hinata!" She clutched at the cocoon with all the desperation and sobbed. "Hinata, it's me! Sakura! Can you hear me?!" She propped her forehead against the folds. "Can you hear me?" she repeated quieter. "Can you…?"

She took a deep inhale and, holding herself against the cocoon, she stood up. She wound her arms around the top part of the cocoon, there where it was narrower. "Hinata, I'll get you out, I promise. I'm working on it. I'll get everyone out. Endure a bit longer. I _will_ get you out."

Sakura turned. Now it was clear – the shorter cocoon was Akamaru, the one standing next to it – Kiba. "And you guys as well!" She gave Kiba a short hug, and a pat to where she believed Akamaru's head was. "I'll get you all out!" she screamed.

* * *

The renewed pertinacity pushed her through the good quarter of layer four. But in the ocean of void she was losing her momentum. It wasn't her resolve that wavered, it was her strength. Sometimes she felt she just couldn't anymore. Like now.

Sakura was rocking herself. Back and forth. Back and forth. Arms curled around her knees. Back and forth. She didn't know why was she doing it but she felt she had to. Back and forth.

She wanted to cry but it was empty inside her.

Madara, lying in his bedroll already was observing her, she knew it. She could feel it. Some part of her felt ashamed but most of her didn't care.

"Would you finally eat something and lie down? I want to sleep."

They discovered a dimension with actual landscape, for once. After checking it with Katsuyu – it turned out empty, of course – they decided to set up a camp. They found a large rock with a half-cave of sorts at its foot. There was finally something to attach the protection tags to, so after closing the cave entry with a mesh of barrier seals (and attaching some seals to the stone, because Sakura was admittingly a bit paranoid) they decided not to hold watches. They could both sleep longer this way. And do so within an actual shelter, and not on an endless, empty, black plain as it was the case it most of dimension. It was such a welcomed change. But sleep was elusive for Sakura, once again.

"Are you in hurry somewhere?" she snapped. She really expected some more understanding from his side. Apparently, she was mistaken.

"Yes. To sleep."

Sakura shoved the last chunk of bread to her mouth. It tasted like nothing. She tugged at her blanket feeling even more hurt.

Absorbed by preparing her sleeping mat she didn't notice that Madara stood up and lifted his bedroll.

"What are you doing?"

"We're sleeping together." He aligned their bedrolls.

"What? Why?"

"Because you're breaking down. Lie down, I'll hold you."

"What? No! I don't want to cuddle with you!" That wasn't how Sakura imagine her first nightly contact with a man. "You're only making me more upset."

"You need human contact. As much as you need food, or more. You're a stranger to loneliness, you cannot handle it. And I am the only human around. You should be thankful that I am willing to indulge you. Now come here." He yanked her arm and she toppled on the mat. Then he pulled her so that she was lying against his chest.

Sakura stiffened. "Why are you doing that? What do you imagine this will lead to?"

"I'm doing it because we need to survive. And should I remind you what is at stakes? It's in the best interest of everyone that you stay healthy and mentally balanced."

"You know, if you wanted to cuddle you should have phrased it in a different way."

"I don't want to cuddle."

"So you're saying I am the only one who needs it?" asked Sakura with snide. As much snide as she could muster with her nose pressed into his chest.

"I managed to unlearn this need. But I don't think it did me much good."

* * *

"Sakura? Sakura?"

Sakura forced her eyes to open. With effort – she was just in the most blissful phase of sleep. But when she saw Madara bent over her, shaking her by the shoulder, she sat immediately, suddenly covered in cold sweat. "What happened? What's wrong?"

He edged away from her. "Nothing's wrong. I didn't mean to scare you. I just really need the map of layers two and three."

"And why exactly it couldn't wait until the morning?"

For a moment he seemed embarrassed. "Because I have a theory. And I need to check something."

Sakura threw the blanket away. She was very much awake. She didn't even feel the need to further comment on him waking her up – she could only sympathize with his predicament. How many times did a sudden idea for a new therapy drag her out of the warm bed to her desk in the middle of the night?

She recovered her maps from the sealing scroll and spread them before them. Madara crouched on her sleeping pallet.

"List once again the dimensions that Kaguya was jumping between when you were with Obito."

Sakura put a finger to her lip. "Hmmm. Core, gravity, ice, lava and desert. Those five."

"Five?"

"Yes. Five."

"You've mentioned that when Obito opened a portal you got injured by acid. Where was that?"

"We didn't jump there. We just opened it a bit."

"But it was there. And for some reason Obito opened it, so if he was somehow tracing the goddess she might have been there as well."

"Maybe. Then it would make it six. What's your point?"

"Seven." Madara's finger landed in the center of the map. "Our world is the seventh. Look." He grabbed a pencil and started sketching. "If we re-draw this, so that the middle-down dimension – the Kaguya's core dimension - is in the center of the map, we have the lava, ice, gravity and desert as four directions on the horizontal plane. Front, back, left and right. Four closest dimensions. The 'up' will be our world. And the 'down'…" Madara grabbed the map of the second layer. "Will be that sea of acid that almost cost us our lives!" He tapped triumphantly at the red-crossed circle.

Sakura bent over the map. "Makes sense. But I still don't get what is the big deal…"

"She was moving along the lines of shortest distance. Those six cardinal directions are the closest. That was her route all the time. She never jumped on diagonals, never used other directions."

"That means that we are searching it… wrong…? That our center should be her core dimension and…"

"…and that we should search along those six lines," finished Madara looking her straight into the eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After a long break, I'm back to this story! It was a bit of struggle to come back into the correct mindset and remember the tone that I wanted to achieve. So, please let me know what do you think about it. I value all the comments, also the critical ones!


	7. Chapter 7

"For how long do we pack?" asked Sakura from between the stack of scrolls and a notebook with supply list. "Through how much we take with us now, we are determining when we will need to turn back."

"Assuming it is only the first direction out of six? I don't know. I really don't know what will be the optimal use of our time. Your call. It's chiefly your mission in the end."

"And yours not?" asked Sakura sharply. She didn't like where it was going, as if she was the only one here with a goal. "Did you forget why do we even need to go through it?"

"I didn't forget." She saw Madara tightening his lips, if just a little bit. "I didn't mean it like that. By 'your mission' I meant that you are more emotionally involved. Your stakes are higher. On my stakes there is only the appeasement for my sin. Peace of my soul."

Sakura was filling the page of the notebook with the same swirly pattern over and over again. She was well aware that she is wasting both the paper and the ink, but she couldn't stop. How was she supposed to take such a decision? What if they invest too much time on the first branch while Naruto and Sasuke are waiting for them on some other? And if the turn back prematurely one dimension away from the boys?! The scribbles in the notebook were getting more and more flamboyant. Sakura took a deep breath.

"One year. We take supplies for one year. Meaning we turn back after 6 months, no matter how it looks out there."

Madara nodded. "We can assume that on our way there we will spend a lot of time in certain dimensions – the ones that will be promising. On the way back, we won't need to be doing that. So maybe we can prolong the travel outwards to seven months or so."

"So… How much water per day? And in what kind of containers?"

They spend a good week prepping. Sakura got almost physically sick several times out of anxiety about forgetting something essential. She managed to hold it down, though, she didn't want Madara see her break down under the pressure. He saw her do it enough times already. She didn't want to appear weak in his eyes. And yes, breaking down because she missed her loved ones seemed somehow nobler and more acceptable, even if it was probably all the same for him.

She finally had to face returning to Konoha – some supplies were to had only in a proper settlement. And Konoha, being her turf, was their best option.

Strangely enough, she was rather apathetic seeing the ruin of the village. It was just so far removed from the image of Konoha she carried in her heart. She went through the motions, she localized the hospital and had Madara's Susano'o remove layer after layer of debris while she scavenged for medicines and soldier pills. He didn't comment on her performance but she hoped he was if just a little bit proud of her. Because she was damn proud of herself.

Then there was a local store, where they took all that was still packed; and some well-preserved family house was very convenient when it came to gathering everyday items like pots, blankets, tools and clothes. Sakura thought she remembered the family that lived there. The house was empty, thankfully, its occupants weren't home when the Tsukuyomi struck. There were neither cocoons, nor decomposed bodies to be seen.

She went to see her home. Or rather the place where it stood, because frankly, there weren't any features of neither hers, nor any of the neighbour houses left. Susano'o dug through the rubble, but even though she was on the constant look-out for any familiar items, she didn't spot any. There was no real goodbye to be had.

They traveled to slug dimension and sealed literal tons of various fruit and soft leafy-greens that Katsuyu claimed were edible also for humans. When Madara questioned her judgment, she ensured him that it was what all people trained in Slug Sage Arts used to eat.

Fresh meat they got from dogs' dimension. Sakura insisted on tagging along even though Madara claimed to be completely capable of travelling two dimensions away without her assistance. But the thought that something might happen to him and render them functionally separated was unbearable. Sakura had already hard enough time when he went for his walks along the beach. Not that she missed him. She was just getting paranoid that something will happen and she will be left all alone.

So, she ended up joining the hunt. In retrospect it was a mistake. Does were such beautiful, gentle creatures. Also, seeing flesh getting dissected and dissembled into eating portion was very hard to stomach. She was so used to the view of blood, organs and torn tissues – but her job was always putting things back together. Now she had to stand and watch how a body of a living creature was being _portioned_ into pieces. Cookable pieces. She wondered if hunger would do its job when it came to eating those deer. That meat.

* * *

"I want to go to the tree again. I need some form of goodbye."

Now, that they were ready to set off, Sakura was really nervous. They will be leaving for good, leaving so far away that a swift retreat won't be possible if anything goes wrong. There will be no familiar territory to come back to and regroup. And everyone will be left behind.

Madara didn't comment on her request and flew her where she desired. She was grateful for the uncharacteristic lack of snark, even more so as she knew that they _were_ wasting their time. On the former battlefield, surrounded by the cocoons, Sakura planted her palm on the ground and drew a rectangular block up from the soil with Doton technique. When she climbed on top of it, she could sit on the level where Tsunade-sama was hanging in her confine.

"I'll be going now, Shishou," said Sakura quietly. "If everything goes well, I will be back in a year or so… Please, be patient. I… I am working on it. We have a theory now, at least we have a theory," Sakura broke off and swallowed. Swallowing was making her throat hurt. "I never asked you this before, but how did you manage? When you left the village, you left everyone you knew behind as well. Just… how? It's so hard, it's so damn hard to be alone…" Sakura rubbed her eyes with the sleeve of her jacket. "You had Shizune, you'd say? What would I give to have Shizune with me… But," Sakura squared her shoulders and looked to where Madara was standing – just at the very base of the tree, "out of all people, I will have with me the one who used to be equal to Shodai. He treats me well, also," she added in an afterthought. "So, don't worry about me. I'll be fine, Shishou. Don't worry."

She took off her shoes and walked all the way to the tree, trying to imprint in her memory how the dirt of her homeworld felt under her feet and between her toes. Madara was sitting, propped against the place where the tree's body was growing out of the ground. He lifted his head when she approached.

"Let's go."

* * *

They went 'forward'. They passed the gem dimension, their first one. With a painful pang in her chest Sakura remembered how simple everything seemed at the beginning. How she had thought that all they needed to do is to search those 26 dimensions… How far away was this feeling now…

They made a good progress for the first week, covering on average five dimensions per day. In the thirty-ninth layer they found an inhabitable dimension but, unlike the ones closer to their home-world this one held only non-sentient animals. They spend days searching it. With each summoning Sakura pumped all that she had to the point of fainting. She overdid it twice.

They took countless flights with Susano'o, also during the night, in order to spot a campfire if there would have been one. Every evening Madara produced a gigantic marking from the burning ash on the sky. Uchiha fan again, of course, but Sakura didn't comment. She felt too grateful to be petty. The mark was big enough and high enough to be seen from hundreds of kilometers, Madara claimed. After two weeks and searching an entire continent they had to face the reality – the boys weren't there.

Setting off into the maze of dimensions was even more daunting than before.

In the dimension 51, which looked quite promising – rocky and harsh, with thin, arid air, but also with multiple streams of freshwater and some measly vegetation on their banks - they made a strange observation. After Sakura summoned Katsuyu, who failed to detect any human presence, they decided to fly some thousands of kilometers west and check again. They did, and when they re-summoned the slug, Katsuyu seemed very surprised.

"Sakura-chan, why did you summon me already, I thought you wanted to change your location." The slug turned around in confusion, rearranging the landscape in the process. Pity, because Sakura had already spotted a cave up on the rockface that would have been good for overnighting… She liked having a confined space around her – then they could put barrier tags on the walls and she would deem keeping the watch unnecessary. And Madara would have appreciated that cave as well. He was finding her cautiousness, or paranoia - as he was calling it, exaggerated.

"What do you mean, Katsuyu-sama? We've been flying entire day long!" And they've seen only rocks and blue, bluest raging rivers. No higher lifeforms whatsoever.

"I barely came back when you re-summoned me… Can it be that the time flows differently in this dimension? That it goes faster here?"

"Well, it is only beneficial for our cause," interjected Madara eyeing the place where the cave used to be with rather sour expression on his face. He must have noticed it as well. "We will lose less time here."

* * *

She kept a notebook of worlds, with detailed descriptions of each and every one. Another notebook with record of their expenditures, all the things they ate and used up during each camp. It helped keep her sanity and gave her something to do in the evenings. Still, after completing all the chores and releasing Katsuyu - that she often called in the smallest version to keep her company – all Sakura felt was gloom.

"How should I go on?" she asked aloud, deciding to disturb the silence and Madara's peace. He for sure wouldn't appreciate her whining, but at some point, she just had to speak up. Else she would go crazy.

"Hope. Don't give up on hope," he answered after a while. "Think about your goal, and hold on to the hope of achieving it."

"My goal? Do you mean rescuing everyone? It only feels like an enormous responsibility, so much too heavy for one small me! I keep thinking I'm not doing enough, that maybe we should have made one more jump today, that maybe we shouldn't have camped in this blue-rocks dimension two days ago because there was another suitable for camping right after it! I only think that I should try harder..."

"No. Don't think about the task. Think about what will happen afterwards - you will get your loved ones back. You will get your life back. The world will be in order once again. Imagine your life, how will it look like when we succeed."

"My life…" Sakura fiddled with her fingers. "Will it not be lying to myself? What if things won't work the way I imagine?"

"Who knows how will it all turn out. I'm not speaking of plausibility. I'm speaking of hope. That's also why I have hard time with it - I find it very difficult to suspend my disbelief."

Sakura looked at him. "Disbelief? You lack belief in our success?"

"I'm generally bad at believing in anything. I tend to take matters in my own hands instead. Which is often a disadvantage, because I lack the support that a certain conviction, certain belief would give me. But you are different, you have it."

"Belief? Yes, I do have belief. I will never, ever stop believing. As long as I can stand up, I will never give up! Just that…"

"…that you sometimes lack strength to stand up?"

Sakura only nodded.

* * *

He couldn't do it. He couldn't manage to cultivate this spark inside his chest. But it was enough if she could. He could go on as long as _she_ had hope. As long as there was a future for her. Yes, their goal was recovering the future for the entire mankind. But easy calculation was sobering enough – the space to search was enormous. To keep such hope alive was a folly. But she was capable of such folly. And Madara was sure he could go on forever not to break her hope.

She was holding quite well, all things considered. She was trying so hard to be brave, and it showed.

She was also developing her own coping mechanisms. Scribbling in her notebook. Rearranging their supplies. Re-rearranging their supplies. Most of the evenings she would summon Katsuyu. A small one, size of a rat. The slug would perch on her knee and they would chat. Madara couldn't contribute much because they were either talking about medicine or reminiscing older days. But he had to admit Katsuyu knew many anecdotes, especially about Hashirama's granddaughter. Some of them were actually quite amusing – the woman had a penchant of getting herself in trouble of most humiliating kind. Her life could be a cautionary tale for all young shinobi. Judging from Sakura's shocked and confused reactions those stories were quite some revelations to her.

Nevertheless, Madara did feel a bit excluded at times.

And at other times he felt included, but in a completely wrong way. Because sometimes they would come up with medical issue they wanted to check. And Madara had to serve as an experimental animal. They were both prodding him with their chakra (surprisingly, he liked Katsuyu better, her energy was somehow milder) proving some point to one another. Like now.

"You see, I've told you, the chakra nodes have some form of coiling inside!" exclaimed Sakura from above him, pressing her palm against his ribcage.

"Alright, I feel it as well, but it might be only the nerves, Sakura-chan. You have no proof that those are chakra capillaries!" The slug was sitting on his naked stomach and it was a highly disturbing experience.

"Well, watch. Madara! Activate your chakra!"

Madara sighted heavily and activated his chakra.

"Alright, there is chakra passing through those structures. But watch closer – it's not filling the entire diameter. It is narrower, as if it was surrounded by some liquid…" Katsuyu's chakra went into his Gate of View and spread across his body. "See, it's an open system, like the lymphatic one, it ends up in the tissues! As if it was gathering something from there. "

"But towards the inside of the node the capillary seems full, am I correct?"

"Yes, it does. As if chakra was being amplified… Can it be that the node changes that what it collected from intracellular space into chakra?!

"Katsuyu! It can be a break-through in chakra theory!"

"I am thrilled to be the part of your discoveries, but it's getting late and we haven't even eaten properly." Madara remove Katsuyu carefully from his stomach and sat up. "Can you please continue some other time?"

* * *

It was dimension 65 when she failed to summon the slug. She was well rested; it was only their second dimension that day. She tried, and tried and he could see her chakra short-circuiting and discharging in futile bursts.

"I don't know what is happening! I cannot call Katsuyu!" The already-audible tinge of panic in her voice sent a strange sensation down his spine. The slug was very important to her, he knew. It was not only an essential member of their search team – it was also the last bridge to her past life. "I'm doing everything like I did thousands of times before! Am I? Am I?"

"Calm down. You push out your chakra normally, but it discharges into nothing. Try summoning something from a scroll."

When a water canteen popped into existence Sakura's eyes went even wider than before. She stared at him with such fear that his heart clenched. He grabbed her elbow with one hand and the canteen with another. "We jump one dimension back. And there we'll see."

She shook whole when with hesitation she was placing her hands on the ground in the dimension 64. And slumped down to her knees as a small Katsuyu appeared.

"I don't understand…" she said through tears, hugging Katsuyu around the neck. Or the upper part. Or whatever the slug had. "I couldn't summon you, I thought I've lost you as well!"

It took them several jumps back and forth to confirm that Sakura was able to perform Kuchiyose no Jutsu in 64th layer while in the layer 65 (and 66, and in several side dimensions on the level 65) – not. A positive side effect of this going in circles was Sakura calming down.

"I think that we might have reached the limit of summoning," she said, biting pensively at her last whole fingernail. "Or my limit, at least. I was thinking about it for quite some time, and I think you two should sign a contract." Sakura glimpsed between him and the slug perched at her shoulder. "Your limit might be larger, Madara."

The slug pulled her antennae in – as far as he knew it was a sign of uneasiness. Well, he could have guessed Katsuyu won't be thrilled.

"Not happy about the proposal, Katsuyu-san? The suitor not to your liking?" he quipped.

"Uhm… Madara-sama, you can believe me that I am honoured, however we don't know each other very well yet… Hence my surprise…"

"Katsuyu-sama, I know it is against the traditions of Shikkotsu Forest, but we are in face of a disaster like no other in the history!" interrupted Sakura. "I'm sure you can make an exception for him! Whatever formal requirements you have you can be sure he would have fulfilled them without any problems had he been in correct circumstances! You know he outmatches both me and Shishou by entire levels…"

"It's not only about raw power, Sakura-chan… But I do recognize the dire straits we are all in."

His limit was 81 levels. In the 82nd one they made a U-turn again for Sakura to say her final goodbyes to the slug.

* * *

"You know, I am kind of happy that there is a limit. Even if I will miss her as hell," she said the same evening, slipping into her sleeping bag.

"Really? Why?"

"Because it might be the reason why Fukusaku-sama failed to summon Naruto. I mean, the other reason than Naruto being dead. So actually, I'm really, really happy. Our searches will get more laborious, I know, but… I have more hope now."

The searches indeed became a pain. He never used Susano'o so much in his entire life. Inhabitable dimensions were rare however, maybe one in two dozens qualified for a search. Otherwise it was just endless, black emptiness. No light, no sound, no movement. Even his cave didn't quite prepare him for this.

"Now that Katsuyu is gone we won't have a buffer anymore…" said Sakura one evening. "It is really just you and me. We better not end up killing each other. We need to be honest in all matters, even in awkward and uncomfortable ones, okay? If there will be something that I do that gets under your skin, just tell me. We could start right away! What do I do that irritates you?"

"Nothing."

"You're lying." She got too good in reading him. "I thought we agreed on being honest!"

"I don't remember agreeing. It was just you announcing in big words that we should. Using the word 'we' in a sentence doesn't automatically grant it my blessing."

Sakura pouted.

"But in this particular case, I do agree. So, stop sulking."

Sakura shot him a hurt look. "I'm not sulking. So, if you agree, then start! And don't try wiggling out."

Madara pursed his lips. That she must be so penetrant with those little projects of hers. How was he supposed to phrase a critique and not antagonize her?

"What is it?! Just tell me."

"You move around too much…"

"I… What?"

"You move around. After we set up the camp you cannot keep still. You stand up, go to the packs, come back with a bag, dig in it, return in to the packs. You first bring your blanket, and then you go again and bring your sleeping clothes. And then you remember about the pillow and go for the third time."

"You must be kidding me."

Madara raised his hands defensively. "You asked what irritates me! That is my answer."

Sakura blinked. "But… I am just… living. How is that irritating?"

"You move across my field of view, and it keeps me alerted. It's a reflex. You need to remember that I was alone for a very long time. And the way you go around your business is so inefficient, one could do it quicker, if…"

"Ok, I get it, I get it! I find it weird but I get your point. I'll try to circle around less… But I just don't want to optimize my every movement if I am here supposed to have a break and be regenerating!"

"It isn't really necessary. You started this silly game; I don't require you to adjust." He looked at her and she sent him her best smile. Of course, there was an agenda behind this smile. "So now I am supposed to ask what annoys you in me?"

"You don't want to do it at all?"

She sounded so disappointed. Madara sighted. "Not really. But if it is that important for you… So, what do I do that gets under your skin?"

"Uhm… When you hold me while falling asleep… you tend to like… reinforce your grip. Or move your hand a bit. Or rub a circle with your thumb. And you do it like every thirty seconds."

"Do I? really?"

"Yes! Every time I'm drifting off to sleep, you make those tiny little movements and it wakes me up! I know you don't mean it such a way, but it is just so annoying!"

"I'll try to stop."

* * *

It was quieter without Katsuyu. But Sakura didn't give up on her research. She focused her attention on his Sharingan.

"Now activate just your left one."

"I cannot. You either activate both, or not at all."

"Can't you try?"

Holding back a sight he directed his entire chakra into his left eye. It only resulted in a shot of pain. "See, it doesn't work."

"Are you sure you really, honestly tried? Or are you just trying to get me off your back?"

"I am very sure that I tried. And I know you won't get off my back that easily…"

"Alright then." She produced a cloth from her medical bag. "Close your right eye." She bound it in a makeshift eyepatch, and put hands to his skull. "And now activate both."

Madara sighted. And activated his Sharingan. Sakura's chakra was circling in his optical nerves, tingling and mildly irritating him.

"Now Mangekyō."

She was traveling up to his brain and it was difficult to control the urge to just push her out and away. He needed some distraction to get through it. "Why are you so bent on studying it? It's been a sixth evening straight…"

"Fifth. Don't exaggerate." She pushed more chakra into his head. "And studying Sharingan, on a living subject that is cooperating so well," she patted him on the shoulder, "it's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity! There aren't many of you left, you know?"

"Then it makes even less sense. Why to study a functionally extinct kekkei genkai?"

He felt Sakura's chakra wavering inside him. "Maybe it won't go extinct. Maybe Uchiha will be there again. And maybe it will be up to me to fix the problems that will appear. I'd rather be well prepared for the eventuality. Sasuke…" she hesitated. "He is not a patient man," she said in the end. She moved her hands to his temples and her chakra snaked into his eyeballs. What a horrible sensation. "Not like you…"

* * *

It was their eleventh jump already. And the eleventh void. Without summoning Katsuyu, Sakura could spare her entire chakra on repairing Madara's system, but they were both close to their limits.

"We shouldn't jump any further. If the next one is hostile, I won't be able to escape," he said apparently thinking exactly along the same lines.

"But there's nothing here! How can we camp here?" Those voids were raising visceral panic in her. She thought that whenever she turned her head something would jump out of the darkness and grab her.

"We just need to get some sleep. Patch me up so I regenerate on my own and let's try to get some rest."

"I cannot. I cannot sleep here!" They were floating in nothingness, there was not even ground under their feet. No up, no down. Nothing.

"You can." Madara pried her fingers open from his elbow and reached to his pouch. "Let's get some food first and then.."

By putting his hand towards his belt he gave her side a slightest shove. She didn't even notice until she was suddenly a meter away from him and floating off in a slow but steady way. "What's happening?" Sakura tried moving back, but there was nothing to prop herself against, nothing to halt her movement. The space between them increased to meter and a half. "Madara!" She extended her arm. "Madara!"

He finally looked up, and realizing what was happening he arched and reached towards her. Too late. Their hands failed to connect by centimeters. They were too far apart. And she was still floating away!

"Madara! Madara!" He was further away with every second.

Part of her brain was overflowing with the most primordial fear she had ever encountered. Worse than facing Demon Brothers when she was twelve, than Gaara in his Shukaku form, worse than the fucking Jūbi.

Another part of her brain remembered that she was a shinobi. She was trained in all the skills necessary for survival. And her greatest asset was her brain. ' _Think Sakura, think!'_

She dug into her pouch. A scroll fell out and free-floated before her eyes. The food scroll with portions for next two weeks. She dug deeper. Another one, she needed another one! There! Camp supplies scroll! Madara was already good three meters away.

She unsealed the scroll – another seven sub-scrolls popped into existence. She grabbed the first one. Lucky! She got lucky - it was the timber scroll!

She jammed her palm onto the paper. All kinds of pieces of wood surrounded her and floated about. A thick stump of wood hit her on the head. She barely noticed. Frantically, she grabbed the longest plank and pulled at it. Thank gods they didn't have time to cut it! She shifted the plank towards Madara, pushed it with all his force, mindful not to let go of her end. She saw Madara straining and stretching out his arm. His fingertips connected with the board. The moment he made contact, he pumped chakra into his fingers to reinforce his hold.

Sakura breathed in. And again.

"Hold it! Don't let go! I'm coming to you!" He started to haul himself along the plank.

She latched to him when he finally got into her range.

They've lost most of the timber from the scroll until she got herself together. It floated away, she could still see it on the periphery, still clear as there was nothing to obscure the view. However, they managed to recover three out of seven sub-scrolls. The fourth one they fished with a kunai bound to a string. Others were gone.

They unpacked another food scroll and while Madara held her by the belt, she was catching the flying objects and sealing the unnecessary ones back.

When it came to sleeping, Sakura produced a coil of rope out of the supply scroll and looped it around her waist.

"Now you," she said circling the rope around him. And secure knot made her feel good. And the second one even better. She examined her arrangement critically. Now they won't float apart, but how could she sleep suspended in the void?

She unwound a length of rope and closed a tight loop around her ankle. Then she made another one, looser, with a dangling end ready to be tightened up. "Come here," she said pulling the rope connecting her to Madara. She wound her legs around him as if she was straddling him and slipped her other foot through the prepared loop. She tightened it up and cut off the end.

"Are you sure about it?" asked Madara from above her head. "That puts us in a very vulnerable position, if anything happens."

"I'll risk it. I'll rather have this than this emptiness," declared Sakura cutting another length of the rope. "Do you also want some for your hands? That would be nice if you could hold me all the time…" she added seeing him hesitate.

She bound her right wrist and made a ready loop for the left. The long string that would tighten the knot she put between her teeth.

"How will we release it tomorrow if I also have my hands bound?"

"Chakra scalpel," mumbled Sakura biting at the rope. "I can produce it with every finger and I can bend it if I want to. Ready?" she asked pushing another piece of rope into his hand. She embraced him, blindly finding the prepared loop and pulled the rope with her teeth. Her arms came together around him. She angled her head to the side of his chest and registered how he was binding his hands into a knot behind her back.

She embraced him tighter than what the ropes necessitated and closed her eyes. He propped his face on the top of her head and for a moment it seemed to Sakura that he pressed lips to her hair. But maybe she only imagined it.

* * *

_'_ _Kaguya Cardinal Direction 1, dimension 427. Breathable air and rocky surface, otherwise empty. No light sources, gravity weak but present.'_ Wrote Sakura in her notebook. She glimpsed up to where Madara was finishing burning out the Uchiha crest. _'Marked. No search.'_

"Alright, I've got it," she said grabbing his elbow. "Jump!"

Madara slowly turned his head towards her. "I can't," he said in a strange tone.

"What do you mean you can't? Is something wrong with your eyes?!" Sakura's hands flew towards his face on an instinct. "With your chakra? Did something rip?"

He took her palms and led them down, keeping them in his hands. "No. Everything's fine with my eyes. But there is no 'forward' dimension."

"What?"

"There is nothing there." Madara waved his hand in front of him. "No middle forward, and none of the left-, right-, up- or down-forward dimensions."

Sakura squeezed his hand. "Are you sure? Do you see the ones in our plane?"

"Yes, those are there. The ones behind us as well."

"Can it mean we've reached the end?!" Sakura's vision swam – tears brimmed in her eyes. She didn't even bother to wipe them. "Can it be! Can it be?" The excitement she didn't feel for the longest time, like water on the desert. "Madara! We did it!" She grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him. "We've reached the end! This thing even has an END!" Grabbing around his neck Sakura jumped, wrapping her arms and legs around him. He hooked his arms under her knees so she didn't fall. Her grin must have been contagious because he beamed back at her. "We did it!" She hugged him with all her force. "Thank you! Thank you so much" Her heart was overflowing with joy. She leaned back to face him and almost gave him a kiss full on the lips. But she realized in time to re-navigate and planted a wet smooch on his cheek instead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and please let me know what did you think about this chapter. I am very curious about your impressions! I am especially concerned if the story is progressing fast enough to keep reader's attention...


	8. Chapter 8

She didn't even know how to record the end in her logbook. She sat staring at the blank page in wonder and bewilderment. Finally, she simply wrote 'End of direction 1.' That sounded so unspectacular, but no words would anyhow convey the euphoria she felt. 'Lattice edge smooth, no visible dimensions protruding forwards.' She added to keep the record comprehensive.

"So how do we come back?" she asked Madara who was roasting deer's meat on the other side of their campfire. They decided a celebration was in place and chose the best parts of meat for this evening. "Do we trace our steps back? Or do we transit one dimension to the side and come back through there?"

"It would be more efficient to follow the once-removed dimensions. We would cover another 427 with little additional effort. And we know Kaguya _can_ change direction of her jumps, so…"

"Don't even remind me that!" Sakura pressed at her temples. "I don't want to think about it right now!" She took a deep breath. "But you're right. We will need to invest some additional time into searches of promising dimensions, but otherwise it's a clear win-win situation. We come back and cover 427 unknown ones in the same time."

"If inhabitable ones are indeed so rare, we can easily sacrifice couple of days for each. This additional two months will be nothing in scale of the time we invest anyhow. It doesn't matter if we will spend 6 or 8 months on this branch."

The meat was great, juicy inside and crispy outside. Worthy the celebration, thought Sakura chewing on it. "You know…" she mused, "at first I was like: 'we know how big this thing is, it's huge, but it has limits.' But now I'm starting to think that finding this one end doesn't really give us any information about the size."

"Why?"

"Because what if we didn't start in the middle?"

Madara's hand holding the meat-skewer froze half way to his mouth. "Good point," he said after a long while, taking a bite. But he didn't look as if he was enjoying the food much anymore. "Actually, it's delusional to assume that our dimension _was_ the middle."

* * *

She was sleeping and he was bored. To the next branch they will take all the books they find. He opposed it previously, calling it an unnecessary load, and now he was regretting it.

Sakura taught him playing shogi though. She drew a board in her notebook and cut out make-shift pieces out of paper. She was still winning every game, but he was getting better. To kill the time, he picked up one of the piece – it was getting very worn, maybe he should re-make it.

But it will get damaged again. Sakura mentioned that the real pieces were made from wood. He had time, he thought browsing through the pile of prepared firewood. He could make those pieces properly. Pentagonal, with engravings – he could manage that. And if he finds a piece of wood broad enough in their stock – a board as well.

* * *

"It was 427 dimensions away from ours." Sakura was thinking out loud. "Let's say 500 to make it round. If it is average, if it is this way in every direction, then down will be another 500. That would make the matrix 1000 dimensions wide..." She pressed her finger to her lips. "If it is a regular cube it will have 1000 times 1000 times 1000 dimension. This is one billion dimensions! If we keep the speed of 5 dimensions a day, that makes it 200 million days. Which is…" she scribbled a calculation on the margin of her notebook. "More than 6 million months! That is half of million years?! Even if we speed up to of 10 dimensions per day, even if we speed up to 20 – it's still not a scale of human lifetime! We will never make it!"

"You don't know if it will be 500 dimension the other direction. We could as well be on the longest branch."

"Or on the shortest."

"Or on the shortest. One sixth probability for each option."

"Exactly!"

"All I'm saying is that we don't know anything yet. Don't… don't fall into despair. And remember we are moving along the lines of higher probability of Kaguya's jumps."

* * *

"Put me under genjutsu."

"What?"

"You've heard me. Put me under this genjutsu that you've meant for all the people. Make me see my happiness."

"I don't think so. Genjutsu is a weapon in the end. It messes up with the brain of the victim."

"Just for a short while. Just to give me something… something positive."

"You know that it can be a downward slope? That you may start wanting it more and more?"

"But you will always be there not to let me go down the slope, right? Just a bit, please. I cannot take it anymore, I feel so unhappy!"

"Alright."

It was warm and sunny in Konoha. Naruto was giggling, half-choking on ramen noodles, but it wasn't preventing him from stuffing his face with more of it. He just told yet another bad joke and was the only person laughing. Kakashi-sensei chuckled politely, over the empty table – he didn't order anything, as usual wary of uncovering his face. When Sasuke entered the stall, he seemed so at ease. And at home. Sakura's heart sped up to two hundred beats per second when he sat right next to her. She didn't know if it was her imagination or if she could really feel the warmth emanating from him. And, then, he leaned to grab the menu and their elbows touched.

"Enough."

She recognized Madara's face right in front of her, but she couldn't see it clearly, everything was blurred. Needle-like pain behind her eyes made her want to curl in fetal position and cradle her head. Her chakra was pulsing uncontrollably, making her sick.

"It hurts…" she complained.

"Does it? I've told you there must be side effects to a genjutsu that powerful."

"How long…?"

"Just a couple of seconds."

Sakura carefully sat up. She closed her eyes and waited for the crazy turbulences of her chakra to die down. "Did you watch…? Can you see what I do in my genjutsu?"

"No. I have no clue what a victim sees."

"Then, how does it work? How do you know what to show?"

"I don't. How should I know what is people's happiness? I cannot design personalized genjutsu for millions of people. It taps into your mind, takes your dreams, your expectations, your thoughts and plans and visualizes them. Using all your memories as a scaffold."

"Meaning I would never see something I have no experience with? I could never, for example, see the Land of Water, if I've never been there?"

"But you know it exists, you for sure read about it, heard some stories. You have a certain image of it. And that image is what you would see. Not the Land of Water how it really is."

* * *

They ate something bad.

In a forested dimension, lush green jungle the search was particularly difficult and it took them longer than usual. After a week the foreign plants didn't look that foreign anymore. The fruits were hanging from the trees, they saw insects coming to them. In the end Sakura deemed them safe to eat. They didn't have fresh food for such a long time and it was taking a heavy toll. Big, juicy reddish fruit tastes weird – sweet but with a distinctive note on something very, very unfamiliar. Something metallic. In retrospect that taste should have been a warning sign – if body doesn't recognize a substance then it's probably not something one should eat. But they did, the temptation was too big. And here they were – shaken by violent torsions, with vision swimming from the effects of intoxication. It came onto Sakura first, as she was smaller, lighter. Before she knew she was tripping so hard that she couldn't even focus enough to at least retrieve the substance from his organism. To save at least him. She knew she should but she couldn't control here body anymore. Then came the torsions. Madara held her for couple for minutes, until the convulsions got also him, even though he had forced himself to throw the fruits up the moment they realized their effects on Sakura. But whatever substance it was, it must have been a quickly absorbing one. By the time Madara started to reel and vomit, Sakura was already conscious enough to watch. And watch helplessly she did. Because apparently the next stage of the intoxication was muscle paralysis.

She watched him convulsing in pain and wondered if the toxin worked also on the smooth muscles. If yes, they were going to suffocate to death.

But it didn't. After what seemed to Sakura long hours the effects started to wear off. In meantime it got dark and they had been bitten by probably half of the insects inhabiting that damn jungle. First move Sakura made was batting off some fly that was trying to get into her nose. Second was to crawl to Madara. Third was to cradle his head and start healing his eyes that have already been found by the ants. They couldn't lose his eyes.

* * *

Madara was keeping the first watch. Sakura was lying, her back to him. Her mind was circling, thoughts returning to be turned around again and again. About the speed of their search. About the choice of their route. And back to the thought that they maybe they should have stayed closer to their home dimension. Either the way, to speed up the search, she should maximize her chakra output. To maximize chakra output, she should be well rested. She should sleep, otherwise she will be inefficient tomorrow. It will be a wasted day if she's not fit. Another wasted day.

She was so tired, yet her mind was at full alert. She didn't know how long she was lying there but she was sure it was change of watch soon and that thought just added to the litany of things to be aggravated about.

"If you don't sleep, you'll be dead tomorrow," commented Madara.

"I know…" moaned Sakura. "But I can't. I'm too wound up. My thoughts are whirling. I cannot switch off."

"Ha, should have taken sake with us…"

"Probably…" sighted Sakura.

"Don't you have some sleeping pills? Some drug that would knock you out?"

"No…"

"Well… try touching yourself? It redirects attention. And promotes sleep afterwards."

"What do you mean?" Sakura furrowed her brows.

"Masturbation? I can go away, just call me when you're done."

"You're kidding me. I'm here miserable and you're having fun on my expense."

"Not at all. I'll go over there, behind those rocks." Madara started to stand up.

"No. I mean: no, you don't have to go anywhere. And you cannot be serious suggesting that?"

"I'm dead serious. It helps."

"And you know because… What? You do it?"

Madara shrugged.

"When?" Sakura long forgotten temper from good old times of Team 7 woke up.

"From time to time when I keep watch and you sleep. Which isn't that often recently."

"You masturbate next to me?!"

"Would you prefer that I went somewhere and left you unprotected?"

"That's not the point! And great protection you are with your trousers down! Oh, gods, why are we even having this conversation? It's disgusting and it's perverted and I don't want to hear about it ever again!"

Madara raised his hands defensively. "Fine. It was just a well-meant advice."

"And you're not supposed to masturbate in my presence!" Sakura threw one last glare behind her shoulder.

"You don't get a say in that matter."

"Gee, thanks. Now I will never manage to fall asleep. You know what? Let's just pack the camp and move on."

"And what about my sleep?"

"You don't get it. As a punishment."

* * *

How could he even say something like that?! Madara was still shaking his head. What came onto him? She seemed so disgusted, and defensive? As if she felt threatened?

In retrospect, he just didn't think it properly through. He just said what he meant. Which was happening around her more and more often – what a peculiar habit was he forming… Almost his entire life long he was always measuring his words, only saying that what he meant for his interlocutor to hear. Words were weapons, wielded correctly ofttimes more efficient than the bladed ones.

Had he thought this through, he would realize that women may perceive this issue very differently. He just tended to forget she was one. He never had female comrade, and that was what Sakura was for him. And not only a comrade - a partner. In certain aspects even an equal one. She might be far below him in terms of battle prowess, but they weren't fighting any battles now. Their mission was very different and her bright mind was equally useful as it was a source of pleasure and surprise. It was, very, very long, or maybe never that Madara encounter an intellectual peer. Well, Tobirama probably was one. Not that he seeked out Senju bastard's company. Madara had to admit that he had a penchant for surrounding himself with those who were lesser than him. It was much more convenient – he didn't have to waste time assessing their ideas – he would know right away they were inferior to his.

With Sakura, he was discovering that ideas coming from another brain can be stimulating. That together one can achieve more than a simply sum of their capacities…

That's why he had hard time thinking about her as of a female. In his time there were barely any female ninja. Sure, if a particularly rare and valuable kekkei genkai had developed in a girl, she would have been trained. And some women were trained as kunoichi to serve later undercover: in brothels, with traveling armies, at courts of nobles. Coin they had earned through their trade was information. Using own clan women to such purposes would equal to procuring. Foundlings and orphans were used for that, forced to earn their keep in any way.

So he wasn't used to having a woman around. And he didn't want to treat Sakura as one. She was much more and much less than that.

She was more – because no matter how the future unravels there will be nothing for him in it. For her though – there could be. If they succeed. If _he_ succeeds.

The best he could hope for himself was giving his all for his redemption. And even if he gives his all, it will never be enough. He can annihilate himself and it won't make up for what he did. There was nothing for him in the future even if they succeed. And even less if they don't. But she, she had a future. He had robbed her of it. He had robbed millions of faceless others as well, but they were just a heavy weight on his consciousness. Their rescue was seeking peace for his soul. And proving to himself that he is in the end capable of doing something good. Even if it was saving the mankind out of the calamity he caused himself.

Her rescue on the other hand… It was personal, painfully personal. She was the one he wanted to see laugh. He had never heard her laughter, but for sure she used to laugh a lot before. He wanted to see her off into her future. She was the only person for whom he wanted something.

She was just so much more. And it was difficult to think of her as of a "woman".

And she was less.

Too brash, too hard, too forward, just not womanly enough. The women he found aesthetically pleasing in his younger days were very different. They looked the part - bodies that promised warmth, comfort and childbearing and not combat. Not an innards-crushing punch in the gut or a chakra scalpel through an artery. Long, long black hair not those strange, choppy, pinkish strands (though he had to admit that the color, as impractical as it was, was growing on him.) Eyes so very black that one couldn't distinguish pupils from irises... That is what he used to find beautiful when he was still paying attention to such things.

Madara fished a carving knife from his pouch. Those shogi pieces were coming out more and more shapely. He should probably re-do the first ones – they weren't quite so regular. He was glad he never told her about his little shogi-project. She would have been constantly on his back, nagging him about the progress. Like this, he could perfect his work.

Madara bent over the piece of wood. Small shavings fell on the ground.

On the second thought, her eyes were actually very interesting - in certain lightings one could see specks of gold in them, in others - they seemed darker as the color of those precious stones he couldn't remember the name of, those that were so favoured on the court of Earth Daimyō. Yet in others lightings – they were of shade of freshly open leaves.

He stopped the knife mid-motion - it surprised and bothered him that he was even entertaining such trains of thoughts as thinking about physical qualities of women. And about his preferences thereof. But it was indeed happening more often recently. And it was happening with intensity that had him resort to most crude methods of satisfying those unexpected needs. He told her the truth, he found himself doing it when he was holding a watch. He didn't even remember when was the last time he had to lower himself to such means. He had spent long decades in his cave, and women were never on his mind. After his first death from the hand of Hashirama something changed in him. As if his plan had consumed the entirety of him and all his life-energy faded away and fall like meat from the bones until only the razor-sharp focus remained. Now, he was reborn yet again, and it felt as if life was back inside of him.

And maybe it was because she was constantly around… Even though he didn't find her particularly attractive maybe her presence was having an influence? He looked to the side – to where she lied, curled up and covered in blankets. After pouting the entire day, she went to sleep, not before shooting him a half dozen of deadly glares. Now she was sleeping and he could only hope that they will simply never talk about it again.

* * *

Futile hope. She was on it the next evening.

"What came on you to even touch such a topic with me?"

He knew what she was referring to without further specifications. Now he would need to disarm this bomb somehow. "Because it's normal. A normal, basic human need. For you probably more essential than for me, at this point."

"Why?"

Good, he managed to divert her focus. "Because you're younger. This body," Madara looked down. "If this is really supposed to be from my 'prime' then it is 30 years old or more. At that age it doesn't need as much… attention of that kind. At your age though… How old are you even?"

"Eighteen," she said and, unexpectedly, the corners of her mouth dropped as if she was going to cry. "I turned eighteen a half a year ago…" she added very quietly.

Madara examined her critically. He didn't understand what was she so sad about. But nothing cheered her better up than some goading. "You don't look it. Maybe because you're so small and thin. You look more like a racing goose and less like a woman."

"I'm not small and thin! And racing goose? What kind of insult was that supposed to be?" Sakura banged her fist against the ground. Small cracks traveled towards the campfire and some of the burning timber toppled out of the fire ring.

"Oh, I'm sorry, my mistake," Madara raised his hands defensively. "It is the temper of an eight-year old that makes you seem younger."

"What?!" Sakura tossed a shuriken she was polishing in direction of his face. He intercepted it easily, hooking it at his ring finger.

"Exactly. Temper. And lack of control of it." The shuriken swooshed in air. She dodged. Too slow. One of the blades nicked her leg, just below the line of her shorts.

Sakura smacked her tongue waving her hand over the wound and healing it instantaneously. "So, now I not allowed to get mad at you else I will be proving myself 'immature'? Nice maneuver."

"Exactly." Madara pointed at her with kunai he was sharpening. "Another thing you need to learn – putting your opponent where you want him to be is half of the success in any fight."

"So why did you get upset when talking about your age?" he risked. She wasn't fuming anymore, she had just fallen gloomy again.

"I always thought that turning eighteen will be a big deal. Party all night long, presents, _all_ of my friends together… Now I don't even know _when_ exactly it was. And it doesn't look like I will be celebrating my nineteenth birthday either."

* * *

"I feel like coming home. I never thought I would be happy to see your damn burnt-out crest, but I am looking forward to it!"

According to her logbook, they were about to enter the layer four. Sakura was all giddy. She never imagined being happy to see her world in the state it was now, but here she was – stupidly, childishly happy.

The space swirled around them as Madara made the jump.

"Where is the crest?" Sakura looked around. The stones around her were round and blindingly white. No trace of black fire's glaze. She climbed a larger rock. "Where is it?" She pulled the notebook out of her pouch and leafed through it. In the middle of it her fingers started to shake. "Fourth layer was done completely. We should see your marking!"

Madara was standing on another rock, his Sharingan activated. "Maybe we miscalculated. Way there or way back."

"Miscalculated? Do you mean we're lost?! It should be here! It should! I couldn't have made such a huge mistake! What does that mean?" Sakura was going through the page over and over again, her brain frantically trying to supply her a reason, a cause. "Is the structure different than we thought it is? Was it a gigantic mistake to come back along the one-removed dimension?!"

Madara sat down cross-legged on his rock. His silence wasn't helping. There was nothing now that could dam her panic. "How do we get home? Do we end to trace our steps back to the end, all 423 dimensions, and then back again how we came there in the first place? We don't even have enough supplies!"

"Maybe we don't have to. Katsuyu is summonable. Check when exactly did she appear."

Sakura dug in the logbook.

"There were several empty dimensions at what was supposed to be your summoning limit. We summoned her at dimension 349 if you count from the end of the lattice. In 340 from the end, which was the last interesting one we didn't try because we thought we were still too far. In 346, which was supposed to be the limit, we didn't try because it was a void. Then there were two additional voids and I guess we wanted to bypass them quickly and then you tried. Successfully."

"So we don't really know when we crossed the limit."

"No."

"But we know we are within 64 dimensions from the slug world, because you can summon her as well. We can always go systematically about that…"

"That will take us years!"

"Calm down. Or we can go back and pinpoint your Katsuyu's limit. That would give us a clue. Then we can find a plane of the limit and go perpendicular to it… But before we turn back, let's jump once more. Maybe we just made a mistake somewhere."

The next dimension held an endless plane of grey dust. And no crest. Sakura clutched to the last shreds of her sanity.

She could see it bothered Madara as well - he walked around, concentration on his face. He swiped with his foot left and right every second step. Then, abruptly he stopped and knelt. He wiped sand away from something. "It's here! It has been covered." In a blink of eye Sakura was by him, digging her hands into the sand, pushing it aside. She was never happier to see an Uchiha crest in her entire life. Not even when she saw it on the back of Sasuke's shirt.

They had to set up a camp, even though they were so close home. That was only reasonable, she didn't want to come home fainting from exhaustion with the first thing to do being rescuing Madara's chakra system. Also, even though the dimension they were in fit the description of the dimension that was expected to be here they weren't entirely sure where they were, so maybe they would need a detour or two tomorrow.

Now, with her mind clear of panic, Sakura was going through her notebook yet again. There must be something there, something that she missed!

"Come to sleep already," told her Madara from his bedroll. "The sooner you sleep, the sooner we set off tomorrow. You will crack this issue when we're home."

"Just a moment, I just need to check one thing… Or maybe two…" She heard Madara sighting. She was aware he had troubles falling asleep when she was still 'circling around'. But she really only needed couple minutes more... _'Let's count if from the very end once again'_ She opened the notebook on the page with dimension 427, there where they found the end. _'Alright: 426, 425, 424… Wait.'_

"Madara! Madara! I've got it! I found the mistake! How could I have been so stupid! When we changed the route to dimension once-removed-left we stayed on layer 427! And I counted it as 426, because I was so used to the fact that jumping means changing the layer! Now it's clear, everything is how we expected it. The mistake was only in counting!"

* * *

She cried - tears of joy, he assumed - when they landed on the beach, and ran home. He was just entering the village when she reached their house already. Madara saw her pouncing and embracing the cocoon on the porch.

"Yoshiko-san! How are you! How have you been?" exclaimed Sakura. "I'm so happy to see you!"

She went rounds around the houses and he saw her checking on window shutters and tapping at roofs, every now and then throwing a comment about things that needed to be repaired. Then she disappeared in the neighbouring house and fell silent for a while.

Until he heard her call him. Her voice sounded unusual, there was a tone in it that he didn't like. At all.

"Madara! Please, come here." She called out again.

Madara entered the hut. Sakura was standing in the middle looking in front of herself.

"Tell me that I'm not crazy," she said not looking at him. "Tell me that you also see it."

"See what?" There was nothing peculiar in the sole room of the hut – an open-fire kitchen, a corner with sleeping mats, a baby's cradle in the middle, a cocoon on a stool by the window.

"The baby!" Sakura's voice morphed into a shriek. "The baby is gone!" She turned to him and her eyes were wide with horror. And deranged.

"What baby?"

"There was one here! In a cocoon! Hanging directly above the crib!"

"Are you sure?" he asked, but she didn't listen, she was already running out. He followed. He found her crawling under the porch of yet another house.

"The cat is gone as well," she informed him. He still didn't quite understand why should he care about the cat, but the pattern that was appearing was indeed alarming.

"Are you sure there was a cat there?" Madara crouched to look into the opening between the planks and the ground.

"I'm not sure if it was a _cat_. But there was some small animal and now it's gone."

"And do you see traces on the sand? Other than the ones you've just made?"

"I'm not that stupid! I was paying attention! And no, there were no traces."

"And can you come out of there already?"

She appeared with her hair tousled, but her face expression was closer to normal. "Are other cocoons still there? Only the cat and the baby are missing?" asked Madara.

Sakura was walking between the huts, scanning the perimeter. "The dog is also gone." She pointed to the left. "But otherwise everyone's here… I'll call Katsuyu, we need to check if there is someone awake… But why would someone wake up only a baby? A baby from a random fisher village? And a cat, out of all things? And how, first of all?"

He grabbed her shoulder and turned her around. Like a doll, he could turn her around like a doll. "Sakura. I don't think they are awake. The tree was sucking the chakra of the victims, right?" She slowly nodded. Her stiffness was also doll-like. "The baby, and the cat… They probably had very little chakra. It sucked it all and now they're gone."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, finally some MadaSaku content, lol. I am VERY curious about your impressions.
> 
> Please share your thoughts with me! Interaction with readers not only brings me joy, but is also hugely motivating. And from the conversations with some of your I've already drawn inspiration, so, by all means, do speak up!
> 
> PS. It didn't even last 4 days and I got a fanart for this chapter! The amazing victoria capo (aka lea fleuret) draw this:
> 
> https://victoriacapo.tumblr.com/post/616200597144748032/i-did-te-illustration-to-the-fanfic-the-last
> 
> To give you some context: his comic is an outcome of the great debate that went on after the translation of Chapter 8 of The Last Ones Standing on ficbook . net (Thank you for making the translation happen kotoffeya28 , and thank you to all my readers on ficbook for their brainstorming and creative input!) The topic of the debate was Madara's masturbatory habits and preferences, and if you want to have a good laugh, go to the translation (link on my profile) translate the comments, and die laughing.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last scene of this chapter is dedicated to the wonderful crowd on ficbook! Your burning interest in certain aspects of Madara's ehem... inner life motivated me to write this scene! Though I might have taken a bit more serious approach ;)
> 
> Also, for the ones that missed it: The Last Ones Standing got a fanart! Here it is: https://victoriacapo.tumblr.com/post/616200597144748032/i-did-te-illustration-to-the-fanfic-the-last#notes Thank you so much victoriacapo for making this beautiful art!

He was waiting for her break down. He was looking at her with so much attentiveness, waiting for her to collapse and break into tears.

That's what she wanted to do. That's what she was doing entire last year long. Crumbling under pressure, falling apart like a house of cards with ever blow. And he was there to pick her up.

As he was now.

What was she good for if she only needed to be taken care for?

How was she contributing to their quest?

Will she collapse now and wait to be picked up again? Or will she finally grow to the task?

Sakura remembered her shishou. When she first saw her she had though: 'no way this women is fit to be Hokage.' How could someone so flimsy, so undependable take over such a responsibility? But then the burden was placed on Tsunade-sama's shoulders, and, instead of smashing her, it made her grow. Grow strong enough to carry it.

That's what she should do. That's what she _had to_ do.

* * *

She was looking at him. Or rather not at him, but through him. Then she turned and started walking towards the beach. He followed. He wanted to be there when it happens. When she starts shaking and sobbing. He didn't know if she really wanted his company in such a moment, but he knew that she shouldn't be alone. And he was the only option she had.

She sat down on the sand and stared at horizon. She didn't look particularly sad. Rather detached. Focused on the inside. Which could have been a very bad sign.

"Sakura?" She turned her head, and looked at him surprised as if he interrupted her in something. "What is it?"

"I… I need to think…" she answered and turned her head away. She was studying the horizon with concentration that had to be in reality directed at something entirely different than the sky and the waves. Then she stood up and started walking nervously along the line of water. He was considering following her when she turned back and paced in the other direction. Then she turned back again. When should he stop that? When should he take her home and force her into bed? Would he need to knock her out again? Or maybe he should put her under genjutsu?

She finished another round. And stopped. Turned around, but this time with more spin. When she walked to him, she was looking at him, really at him. Madara stood up.

She wasn't about to break down, he realized. There was something stony in her face combined with a flicker of determination that he had never seen before in her eyes.

"Well?" he asked. "Have you done your thinking?"

"Yes. Yes, I have. And I know what I need to do now."

"I understand that you want to set off as quickly as possible, but we need to think about supplies… If we split up and are efficient we should be done in couple of days."

"No. I mean, yes, we need supplies as well, but that is not what I wanted to say."

Madara tilted his head, indicating that he was listening.

She looked at him and this time there was such a tenderness in her eyes. "Until now you did everything by yourself," she said. "You guide us through dimension, you jump. You fly us in Susano'o when Katsuyu is not there… I only tag along. If you are the ship and you are the navigator, then what am I? Only the fuel."

"Fuel is no less important than the ship," interrupted Madara. That she was fuel in more sense than just one, he left unsaid.

"We need more fuel."

"What do you mean?"

"I want to learn Senjutsu from the slugs. It will take me a while, so the search of the next branch will have to wait. With all the consequences of it." She looked towards their house, where the cocoon she called Yoshiko was sitting on the porch. "But once I master it… I will have access to so much more chakra. We will be more efficient, we will travel much quicker as I will be able to put much more into healing you. I… I think it is worth sacrificing some time now to gain this advantage."

She wasn't really asking his opinion, Madara realized. She was presenting him a plan.

"And I know what you want to say," she picked up. "That out of us two you should be the one learning it."

"I wasn't going to claim that. In fact, I know little about Senjutsu – Hashirama mastered it after I left the village. But since you raised it, for sure you have a good reason why I shouldn't?" he cracked a smile at Sakura's newly found seriousness and determination. She was really climbing on her toes; he could see it. Which was somewhat endearing, but he could appreciate the change in her mindset even if he had some doubts about the outcome.

"The bottleneck of learning it is not the ability to tap into it but the control needed to balance it with your own chakra. And my control is better than yours. I'll be quicker to learn. Plus, I don't know how mixing a third component would effect your damaged chakra system."

"Fine. I'm not to keen on checking that either, given the circumstances."

* * *

"The first step is to learn to sense natural chakra." Katsuyu wasn't prepared for her idea, Sakura could tell that. Her shishou never attempted learning Senjutsu, Katsuyu had all the right to be surprised by the revelation. "But Sakura, are you sure about that? The process is exceedingly long, as far as I recall…"

"I know. But Naruto told me toads were using some special oil…"

"We don't have anything like that... You would need to start on your own. And…" Katsuyu hesitated. "Tsunade-sama was the only slug-contractor in her generation. And in the generation that came after her. In the past as well, those who found the way to Shikkotsu Forest and were deemed compatible with us were always very few. Senjutsu wasn't taught for more than a century. I remembered Hashirama-sama learning it, but I was maybe fifty at that time, much too young to be involved in his training. There were others, better suited for the task. But now they are gone."

"Are you trying to tell me it is a lost knowledge?!"

"Maybe not entirely lost, me and some others still remember how it was taught. But we will need to do a lot of digging and to re-discover certain things… It won't be an easy road for sure. Not that learning Senjutsu ever is."

Sakura bit her lip. "I can help you with figuring that out as well. We can research it all together. You said I need to learn perceiving the natural chakra, right? Meaning we need to increase my sensitivity to in in some way," Sakura trailed off. "Open me to it…"

* * *

Immediately after he came back from their home dimension - from an outing to Kiri which proved to be less fruitful than he expected, as the damp weather accelerated the damages in the village - he was intercepted by a small Katsuyu part.

"Madara-sama, good that you are back, we need your assistance," told him the slug and lifted the upper part of her body indicating that he should pick her up. "Would you head towards the river, please?" Katsuyu crawled up his extended arm to perch on his shoulder. He didn't even mind the sensation anymore.

On the grassy riverbank – one of the few places not covered by humid, dense cloud forest – Sakura was sitting cross-legged in the company of several Katsuyu clones and two other slugs - one entirely brown, and the other similar to Katsuyu but with reddish markings. Sakura was completely undressed safe her underpants. She was sitting with her back to him, and when she turned, she was covering her breasts with one arm and she extending the other one towards him.

"You need to place those," she opened up her palm and showed to him what looked like thorns of some exotic plant, "in my tenketsu."

Madara knelt behind her. "Why?" He turned one thorn in his fingers – it looked sharp.

"Those are hollow inside. If you hit tenketsu, it should create a direct channel connecting the outside with my chakra system."

"That sounds like a risky thing to do. And unpleasant too."

"I can easily handle any pathogens that will get in."

"And why do you need me for that, exactly?"

"I need them along me spine and on the outside of my arms so that I they don't bother me when I will be sitting meditating. The slugs cannot place it – they don't have hands… And… I'm not sure if I will be able to place them on my own." There was a trace of apprehension in her voice.

The plane of her back was just in front of him. Her hair was tied up, so nothing was hindering the view. The brown slug crawled up her arm, joining small Katsuyu that was already perched on her usual place on Sakura's right shoulder.

"Whose idea was it?" he asked.

"Mine, why? I think it's a very good idea! I spend last wo weeks studying the theory and I think it can work!"

"Alright. So, where should these go?" Madara grabbed the first thorn.

"Exactly into my tenketsu. You see chakra don't you?"

"Flares of chakra. But not the tenketsu. I'm not a Hyūga." But he activated his Sharingan nonetheless.

"Nyobu and Katsuyu will direct you. They are sending chakra in my system and will tell you where the points are."

The brown slug positioned itself on Sakura's left shoulder blade. Katsuyu took position on the right and Katsuyu's other cloned climbed up from the direction of Sakura's behind.

"Alright, Madara-sama. There are two strings of tenketsu going on the both sides of her spine. Aim a finger-breadth from her axis and half centimeter deep," instructed him Katsuyu.

He placed his hand along her spine, measuring the distance. The flesh under his palm was hard and unyielding. He placed the tip of the thorn on Sakura's skin. "Higher? Lower?" he asked.

The slugs arranged themselves into a triangle around the needle point.

"A bit higher," said the brown snail.

"And a bit more to the right," added the lower Katsuyu clone.

Madara pressed the needle in. Sakura didn't budge.

"A miss," announced the red-marked slug that was seated on Sakura's chest. "Please try again."

It took him five attempts to find the damn tenketsu. On the fifth try he didn't have to be told that it was a hit, because the sound Sakura made was unprecedented. He had never heard her cry out from pain. Grunt with effort, make sounds of discomfort - yes. Such a sound - no.

"That bad?" he asked. His hand landed on the small of her back in a well-memorized gesture of comfort. Which now, that she was naked, could have been read very differently, he realized. "Does it hurt?"

Sakura shook her head. Slowly and stiffly as if she was afraid to move too much. "It's not even exactly pain. Or not only. It's similar to that feeling when you hit the nerve in your elbow with something hard, you know? But in all my system at once."

"Should I take it out?"

"No! Are you kidding?! Don't you dare to stop! We have some sixty more to go!"

Somewhere around twentieth thorn he got it down to only three attempts per tenketsu. It was around the same time when she started to breath shallow and with effort. When he was done with her back, sweat was running along her spine, mixing with traces of blood seeping from around the needles. As he moved in front of her to deal with her arms, she made no attempt to cover herself. She clearly didn't care anymore, for how exhausted and pained she was. Not that it would have been necessary. He took note of how did her chest look like, but he wasn't in the mood to contemplate her charms. If her tears-stained face wasn't enough of discouragement then the needles protruding from her back surely were.

He grabbed the wrist of her extended arm and pointed the needle. The slugs moved in concert with him hands.

"To the left."

"And a bit up."

He immobilized her wrist – since the last couple of tenketsu she started to jerk away - and pushed the needle. A miss.

"More up."

Sakura screamed.

.

"Do you want something to drink?" he asked after Katsuyu deemed the last tenketsu successfully opened.

Sakura opened her eyes and carefully nodded. She started to raise her hand towards the canteen he offered, but it was clear that she was having troubles moving it with all the needles in.

"It's ok, I'll do it," he said bringing the canteen to her lips. She drank greedily. "I'll leave you for now, then. Do your best." He patted at her knee. He wanted to lift her spirits somehow but that empty gesture probably didn't do the job. "I'll set up the camp and prepare some food. I found some pickled fish in Kiri, seems like their local specialty," he said. "We can have it for dinner if you want."

She sent him a very small and a very tired smile and closed her eyes forming a meditation seal.

* * *

It took her another four days of training with the needles until when one evening she showed up in the cave - that he chose for the permanent camp because, being located high on the southern slope, it was the driest place he could find - she was positively beaming.

"I did it! I got it!" she announced rushing in. "Today, when I was taking the needles out something felt different, so I sat down again and concentrated and I felt it! I felt it without the needles!" She turned around and swept her gaze across the walls of the cave. "It's everywhere! I see... No, it's not seeing. I _feel_ it everywhere! We're swimming in it, there is just so much! It's still very blurred, but now I know it's there!"

She was very chatty that evening, obviously excited with her accomplishment.

"You cannot believe how happy I am! Even getting Byakugou didn't feel this way – then I sensed it filling up for years. This one is something completely new! I bet that's how the boys felt when they mastered a new jutsu!"

"Yeah. Unlocking a new ability is one of a kind feeling."

Sakura grinned at him. "Even for you? Aren't you a bit jaded with so many jutsu that you have?"

"I was trying to recall how it felt in the past…" he said, suddenly aware how defensive it sounded.

Sakura grinned some more. "And it's such a relief that I finally made a progress," she continued, serving herself a bowl of stew. "I was already doubting myself. Second-guessing if this whole Senjutsu idea wasn't only a waste of time…" she trailed off and fell serious. "But it seems I will be able to make a contribution in the end. Maybe for the first time ever…"

She was all somber when she picked up again. "Back then, all those years ago, I told him that I will defect with him, that I will follow him and help him out with his revenge. He didn't quite take up my offer." Sakura chuckled but there wasn't much mirth it that chuckle. "Obviously. And idiot would notice that at that point I was only a dead weight. I understood it then as well. I started training like stupid, I grew. But he wasn't there to see it. And when we've met again, he didn't know I got better. Which was irrelevant, because his growth was… was astonishing. Not necessary in a good way. But astonishing. He was even more… magnificent. He was… He was just… I could just look at him all day. Even if it was the last thing I would do in my life." Sakura shook her head as if trying to dispel the mirage from the past. "But now, I can finally, finally do something for him. You know, not with the intention to buy myself into his favour. But _for_ him. I just… I just never could until now. And it kills me. It kills me every single day that though I love him, I could never change his life for better. Because if you love someone you need to be able to do it, right?"

"Right… If you don't then it's not love, but a blatant lie," agreed Madara. But she was still looking at him, as if she was waiting for validation, for his input. "But it doesn't have to be an act of heroism. Always, no matter the circumstances, there is some action you can take to make their life better. Sometimes you kill for them, sometimes you die for them. But sometimes those are much mundane things. And sometimes the best you can do is to remove yourself from their life."

Sakura nodded pensively. "I understand it so much better now. Earlier, it was an infatuation, it was egoistic. I wanted him for myself, I wanted to grab him, hold him, consume him. I was trying to _make_ him love me. That's not love."

"No, that's not."

"Then when he was gone, I understood that I wanted to save him. So far, I've always failed. I don't even know if I can do it now. I don't know if I can bring his soul back from where it dwells. But now I can bring his body out from this maze. And I will. And then… Who cares what is then. Because then, finally I would make a positive difference in his life. Even if he doesn't … even if he never… Never looks at me the way I look at him…" Tears rolled down her face.

"I hope that my own clan didn't degenerate that far to produce a mentally impaired. Especially if he is the last one… How could possibly someone _not_ want you?"

Sakura giggled smearing residual wetness across her cheeks. "You think so…?"

* * *

He came back from his second scavenging hunt in Kiri. It was still relatively easy to find food but the impact of passing seasons was already apparent. And in the damp and salty atmosphere of Kiri the changes were most pronounced – the sacks were falling apart, rice stored once inside them turned to mush. Even cans were slowly getting rusty. So Kiri was the first one that had to be thoroughly reaped. Madara collected more supplies than they needed for the trip, but if they would be gone for a year or longer, there won't be much to recover once they return.

He unpacked in the cave and went down, towards the river. Sakura was sitting in the middle of the lazy-flowing current, cross-legged on the surface and meditating. It seemed no more difficult than the classic water-walking exercise, but Madara knew it was just the facade. She was doing something else. He focused – the energy was shifting around her. Raw power was flowing from all the directions and sinking inside her. He couldn't quite sense it, but he could feel how the portions of chakra that were tangible for him shifted and moved to make space for something else. Something huge. And inaccessible for him.

He remembered how it felt to face Hashirama in his Senjutsu mode for the first time. How daunting it was to find his friend-turned-enemy even more powerful. How beautiful it would have been had he not hated it.

Now he saw this power in a very different context. All negative connotations were gone – he wasn't envious or angry or embittered anymore. But the power was the same and the hypnotic allure of it remained.

To witness all that energy getting trapped into a human body. Closed down to be controlled and wielded and used… The potential of it alone should make her glow.

She wasn't glowing, she looked as usual, he observed with certain surprise. With Sharingan, even from this distance he could see the evening mist rising from the river precipitating on her arms, forming little droplets. Droplets that joined together until they were big enough to roll down her arms, across her chest into the valley between her breasts.

How would it feel to lick along those rivulets? What would happen if he did? Would she snap out of her concentration?

Sakura's eyes snapped open. "I know that you're here," she said.

* * *

"You will need to summon me _before_ your chakra pathways tear," informed him Katsuyu.

They were preparing for his solo trip to layer five. Sakura got a bit fidgety about 'losing time' and as the fifth layer wasn't completed, he proposed searching it while she continued her Senjutsu training. She agreed – with mix of reluctance and relief - but now was going a little overboard with safety measures.

"Why bother? You can heal the damage when it is substantial enough to hinder me."

"My healing is soothing and strengthening existing tissues. And cannot re-create the pathways from nothing the way Sakura-chan does. I lack dexterity to do this." The slug undulated her upper tentacles, retracting them a bit inwards. "I'm a little bit clumsy, you see…"

"Ok. Madara, you've heard her," cut in Sakura from over the half-packed food scroll. "You need to summon Katsuyu-sama after each and every jump!"

"What if I hit a deadly dimension?" mocked Madara. "Am I to stay and summon her as well?"

"Drop the bullshit! And no hitting any deadly dimensions! Avoid the deadly cluster on the bottom of the cube altogether – just don't go there at all. And you are to solemnly promise me that you will call Katsuyu after each and every jump, otherwise I'm not letting you go anywhere.."

"Sakura. I'm not a child."

She let out a frustrated huff. "I just worry that you will get into your head to play a hero and.."

"And stop confusing me with your teammates."

"I just wanted to say… Just be careful. Please be careful."

"I will. And if anything is amiss, I'll summon Katsuyu and she summons you, and from there we will deal with any problem. At any time I will be no more than four jumps away from home. Four, or maximum five jumps away from you."

* * *

He did summon Katsuyu after every jump, and at the evening camps he even opted for having her stay a bit. He realized that the slug was very fond of those foul-tasting leafy greens Sakura had packed in his ratios and forced him to promise to eat every day. But if he politely shared his portion with Katsuyu, there was less of it left for him. He was sure Sakura would control the supplies very carefully once he returns. Of course, he could summon his ratios of greens and burn them, or conveniently leave that in some forlorn dimension. But he promised in the end.

"How is Sakura doing?"

"Fine. She's making great progress. Two days ago she started with the combat training."

"Combat training? Forgive me Katsuyu-san, but how can she train combat with you?"

"Several part of me surround her and spit acid at her. She either dodges, or blocks it with mud walls, and so on. And she tries to annihilate my copies."

"Acid, huh…? She really has a penchant for it, doesn't she?"

"What do you mean, Madara-sama?"

"Wasn't she training this way when she was a girl? She has a scar on her right arm which she says is from an acid burn. It must be still from the times when she couldn't heal herself."

"Ah, that one. No, this scar isn't that old. She got it when they were looking for Sasuke-kun, it was acid from Kaguya's dimension. I guess she didn't remove it for sentimental reasons."

"It would seem so." Madara took a bite of roasted fish. "Strange creatures we are that we keep mementos of our loved ones as scars on our skin…"

"You, shinobi, live violent lives… I suppose it comes with that…"

"Violent lives indeed. I had a couple ideas for changing that. Neither quite worked out…"

Katsuyu pulled in both pairs of her tentacles. "So, I think it will take her two, maybe three weeks until she is ready." She changed the topic in such an abrupt and ungainly fashion that Madara had to smile. Diplomacy wasn't Katsuyu's strength. "Then you can set off."

"That's fast."

"She is very gifted. And very focused. She is much more goal-oriented than Hashirama-sama used to be, much more diligent."

"Yeah, Hashi couldn't concentrate for the life of him."

"Hashirama-sama was… full of turbulent emotions. It surprised me when he joined us for the training, though later I learnt that he was like that his entire life long. But when he sought us out in Shikkotsu Forest, he was doubting in himself so much. Which was absurd to anyone who witnessed his power. I think it was directly after you left the village…"

"Was it?"

"He was blaming himself. He never really understood why you left..."

"I thought I made myself clear enough."

"I think the topic was too emotionally charged for him to understand your… reasons. He just could never find his peace with it."

"It didn't stall his hand though, when he stabbed me in the back…"

Katsuyu undulated her tentacles again. "I wouldn't know what was he thinking back then… But he was never the same after your final duel."

Flashes of their last battle appeared in front of his eyes; Hashirama's power so much bigger than his own. A bad memory – Madara shook his head. But now this power will be serving them, now it belongs to Sakura… He couldn't wait to see her make use of it - even the sight of her harnessing it was exhilarating.

"Goodnight, Katsuyu-san. Greet Sakura from me."

"I will. Goodnight." Answered the slug and disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Madara lied down and closed his eyes. But sleep was far away. There was certain tension, certain uneasiness… Something on the border of his consciousness that wasn't letting go.

He opened his trousers and took himself in his hand. That was a nice change that Sakura wasn't around – he finally didn't have to be sneaky about that. Hopefully that will be quicker this way and he will be done with it sooner.

He stroked slowly up and down, as his member stiffened under his fingers. He called back the images, the memories of warm body trapped underneath him; of slick, hot tightness around his cock. He never bothered to activate his Sharingan when bedding women – pity, now it would have come handy.

He thought how it felt to push into another body and feel it yield and open for him. How it squeezed and surrounded him. He pumped his fist harder. How it felt to tense his muscles and piston his hips, all the effort that was needed for it. Madara bucked into his hand. How he had to hold the woman's hips and pull her into himself to provide himself with enough stimulation, to go fast and hard enough. How it was to grab at the waist, how the softness and swell of hips felt under his fingers when he held them down.

How would the hard plane of her back feel under his hands… How she would match his thrusts and respond with equal fervor. How she would moan in that high voice of hers and throw back her head and tell him not to stop… Not to dare to stop. He felt himself hardening further, even if he thought it impossible. How would he search in her for the place that would make her clench around him, and how she would once he finds it – he tightened his fist. How she would she come…

For a split of second he saw it in all detail – her spine arched, sweat beaded on her back, pink hair plastered to her cheeks, eyes clenched shut and mouth open. Sakura's face contorted in a paroxysm of ecstasy. He spilled into his hand and immediately sobered.

A cold current ran down his spine – why did he imagine her, out of all people? How could he?

The sleep didn't come at all. After three hours he packed the bedroll and sat by the fire for the rest of the night, carving one piece of firewood after another into nothingness of small shavings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, and please tell me what you think! If you didn't realize it so far, let me stress it again: Feedback amplifies the joy I experience from writing! It not only motivates me, bur directly influences what and how I write, so it is really a two-way street. So please, do share your impressions with me :)))


	10. Chapter 10

She ran and collided with him forcefully embracing him when Katsuyu reverse-summoned him to the slug dimension after the council of slug elders (Madara was quite shocked that such a body even existed) deemed Sakura done with her training. Since that unfortunate incident from two weeks prior was still fresh in his mind, he grabbed her at the waist and relocated her at arm's length.

Sakura frowned at the treatment. "What? Didn't you miss me at all?"

"Not particularly."

She frowned some more. "Bullshit. I know how you sound when you lie. If you don't want a hug, it's enough to say it." She grimaced at him. "But you know, it is customary when people didn't see each other for a long time. And I, for one, don't have any problem admitting that I did miss you," she stated falling into step by his side as they climbed up to their semi-permanent camping place.

She chatted non-stop entire evening long, describing the past weeks in minute detail.

"And then during the training I noticed that my speed and dexterity really deteriorated. I should make a habit out of training some plain taijutsu, because I'm so slack and stiff. It would be great if we could spar?"

"Only taijutsu? Or do you want to practice your Senjutsu as well?" He really wanted to see this power in action once again.

"Then you would need to answer with your ninjutsu. I'm not sure if I'm ready to see your jutsu in a context of combat." She stopped eating and fiddled with the spoon. "Kind of brings back the wrong memories... And my point is to get my muscles to move. I will be using natural energy as a reservoir, it's not that I will be doing any fancy stuff with it. Just summoning Katsuyu and healing you, as always." She looked up to him, chewing on her lip. "I only hope that it will turn out to be wisely invested three months… That we will really make use of it."

Madara didn't comment on her nonsense. How could such a power as Senjutsu not be useful? "Will there be a limit to it?" he asked instead.

"Yes, there will be lots of limits. I can only gather and use natural energy with the balance of my own chakra. When I have little chakra of my own, I can absorb respectively less natural energy. And I will be always using my own chakra as well when I perform a jutsu. So, one can say that I doubled my reserves this way."

"So, eight Katsuyus and my healing?"

"Maybe nine or ten if I make them smaller. That would equal to the number of your jumps if I heal you in parallel. I can finally become more of a use than a hindrance."

She really had a screwed perception of herself, Madara decided. She always found a way to see herself as inferior, not sufficient in some way. He low-key wanted to find and strangle the people who had engrained such a self-image in her. "Just listen to yourself," he spat out in irritation. "Without you I would manage my seven jumps and get stranded in a random dimension with my system perpetually damaged. You make me move; again, and again, and over again every time you fix me. How is that not a use? How was that 'no use' even long before the Senjutsu?"

That evening, as soon as they lied down, she crawled into his embrace and pressed so tightly as if she wanted to bury herself in him.

"I missed the cuddling," she told him, clearly anticipating some form of retort from his side. Not that he was planning to give her one – the nightly cuddling was their established custom, and he wouldn't take it away from her. "Slugs are no good for cuddling, you know?" she quipped burying her nose into his chest and maneuvering her tight between his legs. "Too cold and slimy."

He held her until she fell asleep, and then long afterwards in order not to wake her up; and tried his hardest not to find pleasure in it. Not to think about small and warm body interlocked with his in a show of unconditional trust.

After that pitiful incident, she appeared once again in his fantasies – that time underneath him, opening her arms to him. Or at least he assumed it was her – because he stopped at the first hint of familiarity of the face and hadn't even tried again since. He despised himself for those thoughts. She was not an instrument of fulfillment of his low desires. She was his way to redemption. A gift from gods, if they even existed. Not something to satisfy his urges with.

.

The first void that they found – somewhere forty dimensions down the second branch, showed them another limit of Senjutsu. There was no natural chakra to harvest there, which in retrospect was only to be expected. If there was nothing in a dimension, why would it contain natural energy? Another limitation they learned somewhere around the hundredth dimension in a rocky, mountainous world when Sakura, jumped up as soon as she sat down to harvest the natural energy.

"There is nothing here! It's all empty!" She looked around. "I don't feel any life, anything at all. Now I can feel the sterility, not only see it." She shuddered. "How awful. How absolutely awful…"

"Can you feel _my_ natural energy?"

"Yes. Yours I do feel."

"Then you can act as a sensor. Wait here as I fly away, and let's try to define your radius."

Sakura's eyes immediately shone with enthusiasm. "Yes! Then I can be of use in such way!"

After several back-and-forths they established her range at some ten kilometers. Sakura was disappointed. He didn't understand why.

* * *

At the first glimpse the dimension 234 seemed a very promising one. Huge stone towers surrounded the plaza they stood on from every side. They were tall and so rectangular, clearly man-made. Rectangular and evenly spaced were also the windows that each tower sported in thousands.

On the second glimpse it was clear that the windows were empty. No glass, no curtains, no trace of inhabitation. The stone-like surface of the plaza was covered ankle-deep with fine, grey dust.

"Well, it looks like we found the first civilization," said Madara carefully. "Only that no one is home."

They walked the passages between the towers – much too broad than the normal streets should ever need to be. Through the layer of dust, they could feel hard surface covering every square meter of the city. The street they walked morphed into a long bridge and divided into multiple branches that bent in a strange, four-leaf trefoil pattern in order to connect with another street beneath it.

There was no trace of life as far as eye could reach. Only strange paintings on the walls that looked like shadows of people – walking, standing, passing by.

"It is empty. There is no life here. And don't you feel something is wrong? Like, unhealthy? I feel a little dizzy…" said Sakura turning around. The place sure felt creepy.

Madara sniffed. "I don't feel anything. Let's fly and see how it looks like from the air."

When Susano'o climbed above the towers what they saw was a crater some kilometers away from the place where they enter the dimension, lodged into the very tissue of the city. It was perfectly round on the edges. And enormous. As Susano'o climbed higher, next craters of the same kind became visible – left, right, whenever they looked. And whenever they looked the landscape was just as grey as in the city they started from.

"Those look like Bijū bombs…" mused Madara.

Sakura narrowed her eyes. "Kind of. But not quite… The crater in Konoha was oblong, you could see from which direction the hit had come. Those ones… They are too symmetrical. As if the bombs fell from the sky… How can you throw them from the sky? And so many of them?"

"Let's take a closer look at one." Madara made Susano'o plunge down directly into the center of the closest crater.

Something felt off. Like a mixture of tingling and nausea. Sakura sent a diagnostic chakra pulse into her system.

Damage. Damage everywhere, in each and every cell.

"Madara, stop! Don't go any lower! And jump! We cannot stay here!"

"What's wrong?!"

"I don't know, but there is something here that harms us, with every second we spend here!"

"Ok, I'll land and…"

"No! Don't land! It's only worse down there."

"So how should I? Jump in a free fall?"

"Yes!" Sakura grabbed at his belt with both hands. "Jump!"

In the next dimension Sakura went on to painstakingly repair cell after cell in both herself and in Madara. Many she had to kill because they were too far gone, which in turn gave them quite some inflammation. They went through a good deal of puking that set on two days after the visit in the destroyed dimension. After a week, their hair started to fall out, but by then Sakura was mostly done with repairing their bodies, so she took care of it relatively easily.

All that time she couldn't stop thinking about that irreversibly damaged world. "That was an advanced civilization… How could have they perished this way?"

"Advanced in terms of war as well, it would seem. Human nature doesn't change, wherever you go," pondered Madara.

"Do you think… that our world would have ended up like this as well?"

"If we were inventive enough…"

"Do you think it will? Once we wake everyone up and it all will be back as it was? Will we also end like that? Does it all even make sense?" The chakra that she was sending into Madara's body quivered and fluttered. She should concentrate better but the questions and doubts were multiplying in her mind.

"The responsibility will be theirs. Not mine. I tried. And it was a failure. I can only try to reverse my mistake. That's all that I can do."

Sakura's hands fell limp on her lap. She still had some healing to do in Madara's muscles, but she just couldn't. "Is that how our world will look like when we fail?!"

"That is nothing worth spending your thoughts on. Mark that dimension as a dangerous one and let's move on."

"Aren't you sad? Shocked? Moved? Don't you have an impulse to mourn for all those people? To mourn for that world?"

"No. What good would that bring? I cannot do anything for them. That world is dead. Probably for good couple of hundreds of years. I'd rather focus on the task at hand."

"How can you…? Don't you even have a heart? Don't you feel anything at all?"

"Not feeling anything at all is a worthy and noble goal. It allows you to make decisions basing on what you believe is right and wrong. So that you don't have to be ashamed for your actions afterwards."

* * *

Sakura was again rolling fruitlessly in her bedroll. There were those pebbles under her mat, and the ground was uneven, and she couldn't switch off her head. There was nothing to hang her attention on, nothing that was even remotely pleasant or soothing. Heck, she didn't even remember how experiencing a single positive emotion felt like. As far as she could reach with her memory there was only the same endless routine of sickening jumps, draining her chakra to near-exhaustion through healing the same damage over and over again, eating the same rice and with beans for every meal and then trying to fall asleep on hard ground. Even exploring a promising dimension – like the one they were currently in – was laced with drilled-in preparedness for yet another failure.

And that dead dimension really got her. Even though it was almost two months she still couldn't banish it from her mind.

"Would you stop that. I cannot sleep," chastised her Madara lying behind her.

The promising dimension turned out to get impossibly cold at nights. Dangerously cold. Camping in usual rock crevices didn't provide enough protection, so they resorted to creating a shelter submerged deep under the surface. Using a Doton technique Sakura made a hole in the steep mountain slope – with long, turning entry passage to shield them from the cold of the outside. They were lying tightly cuddled, under all the covers they could find, and in all clothing they had. It was freezing anyhow.

"I cannot sleep. I feel so unhappy. Like there is no and never was and never will be anything good in my life. I cannot anymore. I just cannot."

Madara didn't say anything, only tightened his hold on her waist.

"And I know what you will tell me. That there are ways and that I should take care of it," continued Sakura. Her irritation was fighting with the desire to explain herself. "I… I tried." The urge to explain herself in front of him had won. "But it didn't work."

"What do you mean 'didn't work'?"

"I couldn't think about anything that would… bring me into mood… It was only unpleasant." She couldn't believe she was talking about it. But she was feeling so miserable, and it was yet another thing that made her feel down. Yet another way in which she was useless. "Just say something!" His silence was condescending, at least that's how it felt like to her. And plunged in that silence she was starting to regret her honesty. "If I already told you as much then at least say something!"

She felt Madara shaking his head. "What can I say? How can anything that I say bring you comfort?"

"Talking brings comfort. Talk to me."

"Maybe it's not the right way for you."

"Do you know any other?"

"No."

"Well, then…"

Madara sighed. "Just do it as you did it before," he said carefully. "Because you did it before, right?"

Was there a jab in that last sentence? She chose to ignore it and focused on 'before'. "Before it was easy, I would just think about Sasuke…" she curled more inwards and felt him shifting to keep her in the embrace. "Now when I think about him… All that comes to my mind is that he is somewhere out there, lost, needing my help, maybe wounded… Or maybe he's long dead already…" Tears pooled in her eyes and she wiped them against the blanket.

They lied in silence for a while. The blanket under her cheek was rough and Sakura's toes were freezing. Her tears had long dried out. Madara was silent and still but Sakura was sure he wasn't sleeping. Her own sleep was as far as it only could be. She needed a distraction, something to feed to her thoughts. "And what do you think about?" This was as crude as it could be, but that was only for the better – that would re-direct her thoughts alright.

"Women."

"And more specifically?"

"Women I had to do with in my life."

"That's as generic as it can get."

She felt him shrug behind her. He was holding her by the waist, so she could feel his every move. "Because it is pretty generic. There is nothing particularly interesting in that."

Normally she would leave it at this. But there was something in his tone that was slightly off. "And what it is that you're not telling me?"

She heard Madara smack his tongue. She could almost see his annoyed expression – she got him, and he didn't like it. Well, at least she will have some entertainment in this gloomy night. She gave him nudge with the elbow to the side. Her mood just significantly improved - it wasn't often that she could make him uncomfortable and she was going to enjoy the opportunity. "Tell me!"

"I think you will be upset with the answer."

"I'll take my risk. You are supposed to tell me things, that's how we agreed. If you don't I will start imagine horrible things, and.."

"We are both going to regret it."

Sakura gave him a more forceful shove with her elbow. "You are supposed to tell me right now!"

Madara sighted. "The longer it goes," he said in the end making a gesture, and Sakura knew he meant their trip, that endless, hopeless mission of theirs, "the more those women in my thoughts resemble you."

Sakura stiffened. She would shift away but she was too shocked.

"You see – now you're upset. I shouldn't have said that. And the main reason for it is that it doesn't matter. It won't translate into reality in any form or way. I have absolutely zero intention of pursuing such form of relation with you. I am not interested in contact of this kind with you. I suppose that it's just my mind's reaction to seeing you every day, after day, after day. Don't read anything into it."

"I… I need to go out." Sakura scrambled on all fours and crossed over Madara. He was lying closer to the entrance so she had to scrambled over him.

He didn't stop her in any way until she got off him. Only then he grabbed at her ankle. "No, I'll go," he said. "You stay here. I'll find someplace else to overnight."

"No! I just want to go out for a while. I.. I need some air. I will be back, I promise, I won't do anything stupid. Don't worry. I'm sorry, now I've costed us another hour of sleep. But I'll come back soon; I promise."

"Take a blanket with you, at least." Sakura felt the blanket pushed into her hands.

She crawled out of the hole. It was so freezing cold outside, she could see her breath, not only as vapour but as small ice crystals. She blew out again – it was like tiny snowflakes. She wrapped the blanket around her shoulders and started pacing around. Ok, that kind of backfired. And she only wanted to once have fun at his expense! Maybe got him to reveal some embarrassing details from his past…

So, what now? He said not to read anything into it. That he wasn't interested in her. And in that he was honest. She could spot a lie in him immediately. She shouldn't overreact, it was no big deal, he scolded her time and time again about being childish about those things. It was nothing disgusting. Definitely not more than holding someone puking. And nothing more intimate that holding someone during sleep.

Sakura sighted. Her toes were simply freezing. She was wearing everything she found in her clothing scroll, three pairs of socks included, but still these temperatures were simply dangerous. She should go back to the shelter. He is for sure worried and reproaches himself for going along with her damn nosiness.

But her heart was still racing. She climbed on a nearby boulder and crouched – sitting was out of question; she would probably freeze her bottom to the stone. So she crouched and then she felt cold between her legs. Sakura wiggled around – it seemed that her underpants were damp... Perplexed, she stood up and maneuvered her hand into her trousers, bypassing three layers she slid her hand into her underwear. Wet inside. Wet and slippery, exactly that sort of slimy that used to accompany her sneaky thoughts about Sasuke. She touched herself between the legs – the slimy wetness also there, without any doubt.

Why was she excited? Because of what he said? Because it was, independently how weird and artificial, the first real sexual situation that she was in? What should she do? Think about Madara next time? No, that wouldn't work. Sakura shook her head at the awkwardness and discomfort of the thought. He was too… Too alien and in the same time too familiar. It wasn't about her thinking of someone. It was her body reacting to the sexual context. A completely theoretical context, because there would be no continuation. But maybe she could use her own body's mistake? Maybe she could trick herself this way, and then her brain would finally produce those damn transmitters and she would feel happy for a moment?

Sakura chewed her lip. Madara was right – it was simply one of the functions of the human body, nothing profound about it. Trivial. And she could make it useful.

Sakura crawled back into their make-shift hideout.

"I'm back." She was sure he was awake. He would never fall asleep with her out there.

.

.

She crawled back in. Hopefully her spot was still warm, he made sure to lie on it and keep the temperature and had shifted off it only when he had heard her coming back.

"Good. Let's consider this topic closed and let's finally go to sleep, shall we?"

He didn't lie saying he had no intention of pursuing his desires. He was glad he managed to phrase it the way he didn't lie to her. Of course, there were traces of desire, he couldn't chase them all away, no matter how hard he tried. Maybe it was inevitable. What man wouldn't have them being in a permanent presence of a young woman? That realization was coming with a good dose of self-disappointment, but Madara was able to admit that he wasn't perfect. The events of the war had proven it to him painfully so.

Nevertheless, he cared too much about her to act on those desires.

Sakura crawled over him to her sleeping spot and lied down on her back. "Actually, it might have been a good happenstance that it came up. It gave me, uhm.. an idea…" she paused and he could hear her swallowing. "Maybe… maybe it will work if you… If _you_ would touch me?"

Good that it was dark, because Madara was sure he just gaped.

"Come on, it's not that it's such big effort, and I think it could really make a difference," scoffed Sakura at his silence. "Don't be such an ass. I'll show you how. Alright?" She touched his shoulder and suddenly sounded no longer irritated but rather completely vulnerable. "Alright?"

"You are crazy."

"No. You keep telling me that to get my spirits up. And that it will help. And you know what – I believe you. I really do. It's all about the chemistry in my brain. If I cannot have anything positive here, any repose, any pleasure at all, then why not this? I need to keep going somehow, and if that's what it takes… And if I cannot manage alone, then why don't you help me?"

"No!"

"Why not?! You keep telling me it's not a big deal."

"I don't 'keep telling' you. We had this conversation only once."

"Twice. And I agree with you. It comes hard for me, because I'm naïve little girl with head full of romantic shit, but I am capable to grasp reality. So don't be hypocritical and help me out." She grasped blindly at his arm, located his wrist and pulled his hand towards her stomach. "Alright?" she asked. "I don't want to fight over such a thing…"

Her stomach was warm, even though she just came back from the outside. She pulled at his wrist.

That was insanity. He didn't know how will they get out of this number. She hung on the hope of getting her life back, on the future with her Uchiha teammate. He would never ruin it. Ruin her. She needed to keep her path to her normal life open. Any contact with him would undermine her hopes. Would mean capitulation. He didn't want her to give up. Her fire needed to burn, and he would never, ever extinguish it.

"Alright?" she asked once again and she sounded so gentle, so pleading.

"Alright," he found himself saying despite of himself.

Sakura guided his hand more downwards until it was between her legs. He had to roll to the side to reach her, because she was lying quite far away from him.

She intertwined their fingers and put his hand on her mound. "Can you… press here?"

He let his hand cup her sex. She was wearing at least two pair of trousers, as far as he recalled, but still the shape was distinguishable. Round mound with slight depression of her slit. He pressed at the middle. "There?"

"Uh-oh. There. Once again?"

He repeated the movement. Sakura was silent. Without visual cues it was really hard to determine if she was liking what he was doing. She wasn't making any sounds either. But she didn't stiffen, and her legs were still open, so Madara assumed that she was fine. He moved his middle finger faster, pulling entire palm a bit up every now and then. The warmth radiating from her core intensified.

"Sakura? Say something."

"Uhm… What should I say?" Her voice sounded strained, as if it was difficult for her to talk. "You're doing it right…" she trailed off and shifted her hips so that they pressed harder into his palm.

He didn't know how long it lasted. She uttered nothing more, so he continued. A some point he had impression that her breathing got deeper.

Then he felt her hand clutching his and she pressing his palm to her crotch harder. She curled her entire body inwards. He kept the throbbing of his finger trying to maintain both the pressure and the speed. She made a small, as if painted whimper, and then laxed releasing the grip on his wrist. She dropped back to the mat and pushed his hand away.

"It worked," she laughed airily. "It really did… Thank you!" She rolled to the side and wiggled her way into his embrace. "Thank you!" He couldn't see her, but judging from the sound she was exactly nose-to-nose with him. "You were right, I really feel better now." Funny how obvious a face expression could be just from the voice… Madara knew exactly how broad her smile was.

He closed his arm around her, and hoped she wouldn't notice his erection. It will die down; he only needed to endure couple of minutes of this unpleasant pressure. Sakura snuggled closer and made herself comfortable. There was solace in hearing her steady breathing, in feeling her muscles finally relaxed. She didn't seem perturbed by the deed, and he hoped dearly it will remain so when she wakes up tomorrow.

Her sleeping form was the best gratification you could imagine, incomparably better than some pathetic sexual satisfaction. His erection was already softening. She was breathing so calmly as if she had no care in the world.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and please tell me what you think! Your thoughts really matter for me, so please, do share them!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Last Ones Standing got its own trailer! It's spectacular! Thank you so much kotoffeya! If you haven't seen it already, please, go watch it here: https://kotoffeya.tumblr.com/post/618807697274437632/not-sure-that-my-video-is-good-but-i-tried

When she woke up the next morning, Sakura's first reaction was panic. What had she done? What now?

Over the course of the day it became clear that the answer was: apparently nothing. The entire day long she watched Madara. What was he thinking of her now? She had an impression that he was avoiding her, as much as it was possible with the lifestyle they had. They travelled across a large patch of the continent - terrain was mostly bare, when not rocky then grassy. In the southernmost part of the landmass the plains were rich in large, herbivorous animals, but Sakura barely registered the details.

Madara wasn't talking to her more than it was necessary. She wasn't sure, but the closer she was observing him, the more she had an impression that her was annoyed, angry even. Would he talk to her more on regular days? Would he look at her more, stand closer, sit closer? Or was she just imagining? She didn't know. Since she deemed him a teammate and not a danger, she stopped paying attention to what exactly he was doing. He was just around. But now, plagued with her insecurities, she read the worst into his silence.

Was he angry with her? Why would he be? She thought he would appreciate her courage. She tried to act sober and adult about this thing, just as he told her. It wasn't easy, but it worked, and for a moment she felt damn proud of herself.

She thought he would also be.

But maybe she was only imagining things.

Afternoon passed and Sakura realized that entire day long she didn't think even once about the hopelessness of their mission, about the ticking clock, about her inadequate efforts.

Not even once.

She was too preoccupied by the thoughts about last night.

When they lied to sleep, she put her bedroll next to his. He didn't protest, and Sakura's heart swelled with relief. Maybe he wasn't angry. She slipped into his embrace, but before she drifted off, she remembered. She remembered the sensation. The touch of his hand between her legs. The orgasm.

Suddenly, she wished he wasn't there. She wished for a privacy to sneak her hand between her legs and seek her own release. But he was there. Sakura chased those thoughts out of her head and closed her eyes.

The next day she was bothered. She kept having flashbacks to how it felt.

Touch. Touch of not-her-own hand. Not knowing how and when it will come. Not being able to anticipate what was she going to feel next. The excitement rising until it was unbearable and then beyond this point.

So unlike from everything she had experienced so far.

Not that her experiences were rich. Or normal, she supposed.

Before, long, long time ago, before everything went down the drain, she had such thoughts. They started some two years after Sasuke left the village. In the evening, in her bed, on the verge of sleep, she would imagine scenarios of getting him back. Those day-dreams had started when the fresh wound of Sasuke's defection superficially closed (until then all she could do was to cry herself to sleep). When she started her apprenticeship with Tsunade-sama, Sakura dared to hope again. There were hundreds of scenarios. Her and Naruto invading Oto hideout and winning him back. Them crossing paths with Sasuke on a mission. Sasuke returning on his own, having realized his mistake.

With time, different kinds of scenarios appeared – Sakura venturing across Sasuke alone. Pleading with him to come back. Convincing him with her promises of love.

In her daydreams he would always come back to Konoha. They would be team once again – train together, do missions, hang out… He would walk her home. How many times did she imagine their first kiss? Under moonlight, at the threshold of her house. In a back alley. It her room, when he came to seek her help battered after some fight with Naruto.

She imagined them sleeping in a tent on a mission – Sakura always in the middle to avoid fights. How she would find Sasuke's hand and guide it to her chest, let him touch her breasts – the greatest show of trust.

She must have been fourteen or fifteen when she discovered that those daydreams made her wet down there. And that when she pressed, there was pleasure to be found.

And then, finally, they found him in reality. Seeing him in Oto's garb, standing high above, against the sun Sakura thought her heart would explode from love and fear in the same time. He looked so distant, so changed. He rejected them, but she still hoped.

Something new creeped then into her daydreams then. There were no longer happy returns. There were only accidental happenstances. And when those happened, Sasuke would look at her differently, with dark passion she had never seen before in his eyes. He would grab her, pin her to the wall. Demand that she proved her love.

She would come, oh so quickly, to those daydreams.

Then he had killed Itachi. And he hadn't come back. With every new report about a next crime he committed, another portion of Sakura's hope was dying.

Until she couldn't daydream anymore. Until it only hurt.

It lasted so long; too long.

When Sasuke showed up on the side of Allied Forces Sakura's hope awoke. He fought side-by-side with Naruto - teammates, friends, brothers again. Even when they disappeared with Kaguya, Sakura could still hope. For brief couple of days, she felt that her daydreams were possible again. She had other things to take care of back then – like immobilized, but still alive Madara - but she sensed that capacity in her again.

And then it was all gone again. Gone for more than a year. It went non-existent.

Even before the Fourth War Sakura wondered how would this aspect of her own self have developed had her life taken a different path, one that didn't feature a permanently absent Sasuke. Would she cherish this part of life? Would she be comfortable with it? Would expressing herself in this area come naturally to her? She suspected that the answer to all those questions was a 'yes'. But it was only a guess – she shielded herself mentally from each and every interaction with opposite sex.

Until yesterday. Until she was forcefully confronted with someone else's very present sex life. Of which she apparently was somehow, involuntarily, a part. Hearing it was a shock, as if she was pushed into water. Maybe not necessarily cold water, coming to think about it… Maybe into hot water. As if all that had been buried away just needed a trigger to re-surface.

She never thought it possible - her body first reacting like that, and then playing along so easily…

And it turned out to be so different from her daydreams. Her daydreams were _about_ Sasuke. What he did, how he acted, how he touched her. And it all wasn't real.

Yesterday was real. And it was about how _she_ felt. She could recall so sharply the touch between her legs, the foreign touch, not hers. The rush of adrenaline and heat on her cheeks, and speed of her pulse. How her entire world narrowed down to the place between her legs. And how it then exploded, exactly from there.

That was beautiful, that very moment.

And even now, already two days in the past, it was still giving her repose. Finally, finally her thoughts were occupied by something else than the despair she was submerged in. It was like a breath of air to a drowning man.

She wanted more.

Should she ask him? Could she even? Will she find courage once again?

* * *

"Can we do it again?"

Madara looked at her as if she just grew a second head.

"Uhm, or rather… can you? Will it be a problem?"

His look didn't get any less bewildered. "I think that it might be a problem."

"Why?" Sakura's throat clenched. He never sounded so stern. Almost as if he was controlling an outburst of anger. So, she was right about him being upset!

"We shouldn't make a habit out of it. Once was enough. Actually, it was much more than enough and I can only hope that no irreparable damage has been done."

"Irreparable damage? What are you talking about?!"

"Incorporating such type of interactions changes the essence of any relation. Look at us, at what we've built together. No false modesty: we are a good team. We work well together, we tolerate each other presence without bigger problems, we complement each other. Do you really want to jeopardize that?"

"No! Of course not! But why would it jeopardize our relationship? We care for each other in so many ways. I touch you every evening when I heal you. You touch me every night when you hold me to sleep… It would be just another form of caring…"

"Feelings can get involved and then things can spin out of control. Think about the mission we have ahead of us…"

"Feelings? Who said anything about feelings?!" Sakura waved her hands in front of herself defensively. "I won't start imagining stuff, you can trust me! I know that you think I'm too immature and emotional… But I won't. I promise."

Madara looked to the side and for a long time didn't turn his head back. When he did, he was considering her with narrowed eyes. "Are you really in such a need?"

Sakura fiddled with her fingers. "Not really in need. It's just… When you were doing that, I stopped thinking about everything else for that moment. My thoughts disappeared. All of that," she waved her hand around, "wasn't there anymore. No dimensions hopping, no tree, no people trapped in cocoons. No my friends stranded gods know where. Or long dead. For a moment I forgot everything. Maybe… maybe it helped that it was so dark, but there, in that shelter, only your touch existed. And I could forget everything. I just want to… forget again."

Something shifted in his face and she knew she won. He will agree. Sakura disentangled herself out of her bedroll and stalked closer.

"How?" he asked and his voice was rasped.

Sakura shifted closer, moving on all fours from her mat to his. She uncovered his legs and slipped between them. Madara looked at her and he was so focused, that she suddenly felt very uneasy. She was rarely finding herself so much in center of his attention.

She quickly turned and propped her back against his chest. This way she won't have to look at him, and he won't see her face. It was embarrassing enough now that the fire was giving off some light. She was sure she will be making strange faces, and she couldn't bear someone seeing it.

"Maybe like that?" she piped.

No response. He wasn't happy about that and the longer he took no action, the more uncertain she felt. But luckily, he moved, she didn't have to physically drag his hand like the last time. He put his palm over her crotch, not really touching much, but rather resting it against it.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

Sakura nodded with rare enthusiasm. "Of course! And I'll try to be quick about it," she added.

His palm molded to her womanhood. She was wearing only her underpants and an oversized T-shirt, as per usual to bed, so the sensation was very different from that time before when she had three pairs of trousers on. For a short moment Sakura mortified. She could feel the tips of his fingers on her lower lips, between them. The thin fabric of underwear wasn't much of a barrier. Everything was so much more intense. Suddenly so very personal. She could feel his fingers, each and every of them, grazing at her folds, moving them apart, stroking her… Maybe it was a bad idea in the end.

And then he slid his palm a bit higher, so that his middle finger was exactly on her clit. Sakura yelped and almost jumped.

And immediately clasped her mouth with both hands.

Madara rubbed small, lazy circles around her bud. "Is that good?"

"Uh-oh…" Her breathing sped up. Suddenly there was not enough oxygen in the air. She will get crazy if this continues. His finger was sliding so easily, too easily… She glanced down and saw the fabric drenched to the point of near-transparency. She almost gasped at the sight – it was… it was so erotic. His finger was moving around her center, strumming and flicking her bud. She couldn't stop looking - it was mesmerizing. A new wave of excitement swelled inside her, demanding something, something more…

"Go faster. Please," she pleaded not knowing what else could help. She leaned more into him. He was warm and gave her something to brace against, and it was helpful. His finger tapped a faster rhythm.

"Like that?" he asked.

Sakura could only nod. She jutted her hips trying to respond. The tension was rising. At some point the sensations became so overwhelming that she had to clench her eyes shut – even though it deprived her of the view. She just had to; it was a reflex. She hid her face in the crook of her elbow and rode the wave of pleasure as it came crushing at her. The orgasm hit her before she could even anticipate it.

She rolled to her side of the bedroll and extended her arm towards him, indicating for him to lie down. But he only mussed her hair.

"Sleep. I'm going to stay up for a while longer."

"Why?"

"Not sleepy."

She curled herself into a ball under her three blankets, covered her head leaving only a small opening for air and drifted away. For a moment all was good.

When she woke up some time during the night, she found a distinctive lack of Madara on her left side. She turned around – the fire was burning, clearly freshly fed. Madara was lying on the other side of it, facing away from her.

He must have cast a silencing jutsu first, and then summoned a spare bedroll. Sakura blinked, suddenly awake. Why would he do that? Why would he make such an effort only to sleep away from her? Was he upset? But why? She thought she explained her reasoning.

He looked upset. She didn't know how could she tell that someone was upset just by looking at his back. But she knew she _hated_ looking at people's backs.

When she was younger this sight used to bring out a sense of rejection. As she grew it started to provoke her anger. Now, the way he was lying, slightly curled inwards, and turned away from her… It was sad. Deserted. Lonely.

Sakura bit her lip. Should she go to him? Probably not, if he purposefully set up his sleeping place over there. Plus, he could be sleeping already, she could never tell from his breathing - it was always so regular and soundless no matter day or night.

Had that, what she asked him to do, offended him somehow? Did she force her way into some personal sphere he didn't want to let her into?

Or… Or was he feeling used?

Blood rushed to Sakura's cheeks, out of shame this time. Of course! How could she fail to recognize that! How selfish, how blindly egoistic from her!

_'_ _I'm the worst person in the world! How can I be so callous, so blind to other person's needs?'_ Sakura wanted to bang her fist against something hard. Or, even better, bang her head. Which she couldn't – at least she shouldn't interrupt poor man's night rest. _'I am blind, deaf and dumb! He gives me everything, whatever I ask. No matter how unreasonable I'm being! And I never give anything in return! I just take him for granted…'_

Now she wanted to cry. For the first time since months, she wanted to cry not because of stress mixed with grief, but because she felt sorry for what she did. She didn't cry. It would have woken him up.

The next day wasn't jolly. The bad consciousness weighted heavy on Sakura. And shame. She felt as if she had failed as a companion, as a partner, as a decent human being.

Luckily the camp that evening, eleven dimensions away from the cold mountain world - which they deemed checked, was a normal one again – no voids, no demanding external conditions. Just a dark plane, already almost boring in its emptiness; and their campfire. When Madara lied to sleep, she circled him around, and instead taking her usual place closer to the fire, she slipped into his bedroll from behind. Snuggling to his back, she wound her arm around his waist. It was awkward, he was indeed a bit too big to comfortably hold him this way.

"What are you doing?" asked Madara trying to twist around.

"Don't you want to be held as well?"

Madara laughed. "It's the bigger ones who hold the smaller ones, not the other way around."

"But isn't it nice?" Sakura reinforced her grip.

"It is." Madara patted her palm that was splayed against his stomach.

Sakura took a deep inhale. Last time she had taken an inhale so large was when she had seen the cloud of Sasori's poisonous gas approaching. Now it was the time to jump. Cold sweat trickled along her spine.

Another inhale. Just to push this moment a bit further away in time.

No.

No more being scared.

"I was thinking…" started Sakura. "I was thinking and I came to a very sobering conclusion." She swallowed. It will be the best to tell him exactly how she felt about it, not hiding anything. "That you do so much for me, and I never return… any favours." Silence was his response and Sakura giggled nervously. "I'm such a child, I know! And I'm sorry! But I realized now, and I'm ashamed, and I'm so sorry. And I was wondering if it would be alright if I… returned that favour from yesterday?"

Madara extracted himself from her embrace and Sakura's nervousness only increased. "I know, that still makes me one favour down, but…"

"Forget it."

"Why?"

"If you want to speak about it in such terms then consider this a gift from me."

Sakura sat up. "No! You got it all wrong! I didn't mean to sound so mercantile! I just don't know how to talk about it!" Sakura wrung her hands into her hair in frustration. "I have no clue, but I'm at least trying!" She bit her tongue at 'in contrary to you'. She didn't want him antagonize him any further. "I just want to do something nice for you! It was nice for me, so I just wanted that you also feel good?" She paused. An option that haven't occurred to her earlier sprouted in her mind. "Or… Or doesn't it feel better with another person? Like, with me? Do you think it won't be nice with me?!"

Maybe that was it. Maybe that's why he didn't want that sort of contact with her. Somehow, inexplicably, it hurt. Was she really so inadequate in his eyes? So much beneath his standards? Well, what else could have she expected, she was a fail, always a fail… The pattern of the blanket lying across her lap started to get blurry.

Some of those thoughts must have shown on her face, because Madara sat up rapidly. "Snap out of it," he said sharply. "I've never said anything like that."

Sakura blinked. Two, until now only half-formed tears got their final shape and rolled down her cheeks. Madara bit down a curse.

And took a deep breath. "I don't think it won't be 'nice' with you. Just the contrary, in fact. But I don't want that you force yourself to do something you have absolutely no desire to do."

"Not true. I want to."

"But not in a way a man would wish a woman to want."

"That's not up to you to decide. There are many ways of wanting. When my friend goes on a long mission and I water flowers in her apartment, I don't do it because I freaking _love_ watering plants! I'm not crazy about the act of filling the can with water seventeen times over, believe me. I do it because I care for my friend and I want her to have her flowers alive when she comes home because it will make her happy. Not the act of watering!"

"With these matters, the entire point is about wanting to perform the 'act'."

"But when it's not it doesn't make it any less valid!"

Madara only shook his head.

She wasn't getting through with her argumentation. If anything, she was digging herself only deeper. Sakura bit her lip - she needed another approach. "You cannot expect me to want something that I don't know," she said finally, looking him straight into the eyes. "Just… let me try. I care for you. I also want to do something for you sometimes…"

She grabbed the edge of his blanket and slowly pulled it away. He didn't protest, so she took it for agreement.

"So, how do I do it?" Her heart was racing, but she could do it. She was just scared because she didn't know how. Once she learns it's gonna be easy. She wanted to do it. "How do I start?"

She put her hand to his crotch. The hard outline was there. Instinctively she wanted to jerk away, but she held her hand down. Nothing to be afraid of. She could justify being afraid if one was about to lose her virginity. All those deliberations about how it would fit inside… She knew it would, she was a medic but Sakura could imagine that when facing a… challenge directly those thoughts could get disconcerting. But she wasn't about to lose her virginity. There will be no real interaction between her and this part of his anatomy. So who cares how it looks like and how it feels like?

He would be hurt if she showed that she was disgusted. Anyone would feel hurt. And if she showed she's afraid, he would tell her to stop, because he was overprotective like this. She just needed to push through the instinctual resistance and once she gets familiar, it won't be a big deal.

She palmed him more and got a better idea of the shape.

For her it felt good when she pressed rhythmically, so she did the same, as far as unfamiliar shape allowed it. "Is that ok?" She looked up. He didn't look very happy, rather concentrated, if anything. She must have been doing something wrong. "No? Then you have to tell me how, I really have no clue!"

"It won't work with clothes on…" said Madara under his breath.

Sakura moved her hand away as if she touched a snake. She didn't mean to, but she did.

"A stronger grip is necessary, and clothes would chaff me raw. That would get painful at some point," he added in a way of explanation.

"Oh gods, I'm so sorry!" exclaimed Sakura, tightening her fingers on his thigh. "Did I hurt you?!"

"No. I only said that it can get painful at some point if you go on this way. So far," he added, "it was actually quite pleasant."

"Really?" Corners of her mouth lifted up on their own. Something bloomed in her chest – a mixture of relief, ambition to get it right, and a genuine desire to do something nice for him. She pressed her hand against his crotch again and took a deep breath. If that's how it's done, then be it. "Then, take it off." She pulled at the waistband of his trousers.

"Are you sure? You really don't have to…"

"Take this off," she said with air of finality.

She wasn't quite prepared for the view. Sure, she saw men naked, on multiple occasions. Just never… so erect. But that's how it went, right? Nothing to be freaked out about even if it looks rather peculiar. "So. How do I do it? I touch you, as you touched me?"

"You need to grab it and move your hand up and down."

"Oh. Alright." Sakura wrapped her fingers around the shaft. Warm. With skin softer than on any other part of him she had touched already. And she had touched a lot. She slid the her palm up and down, not really holding him. So far so good. She reinforced her grip. It was so stiff, she concluded; it gave a surprising amount of resistance. Well, that was only to be expected, Sakura mentally berated herself.

Madara covered her palm with his and pushed them gently down. The skin slid down and angry red of his head peeked out. Sakura held her composure. She maintained the grip and moved her hand up, this time without his prompting. He let go and planted both hands behind himself.

Ok, so that's how it went. Nothing difficult. She repeated the up-and-down motion couple times more. She even dared to squeeze a bit harder. When he didn't protest, she picked up the speed. Some minutes later she realized that all that time she was biting her lip and her heart was racing like crazy.

"Like this? Does it feel good?" She had a hunch she was doing it right, but hearing a confirmation wouldn't hurt.

Madara didn't say anything for a while. "It feels better than my own hand, that's for sure."

Sakura would have swore she just levitated a centimeter above the bedroll for a split of second out of the pride she felt. She pumped stronger.

"It's going to be soon," said Madara and he sounded tense.

"Uh-oh," acknowledged Sakura and kept up the speed. She was happy to hear that – this strange movement was putting strain on her wrist. Along with relief, a wave of new fascination hit her. How will it look like? She focused all her attention on him, and, even though she thought it impossible, her heartbeat sped up.

"Lean back," he grunted. "You know that it's going to come out, don't you?"

"Of course, I know!" exclaimed Sakura in indignation. But her knowledge was entirely theoretical, so she supposed it was prudent to be careful. She edged a bit backwards.

Just in time. Milky fluid erupted from his member in three sharp bursts and splashed all over.

Sakura stared at the splatters on his shirt, thick enough not to be absorbed by the fabric as they were dripping down. At sticky fluid trickling down her fingers. She must have been starting for long seconds, until she finally managed to put two thoughts together. "Is it always so much of it?" she asked, blinking.

"No. Usually it's less."

"I think… I think you need to wash it." Sakura pointed to his shirt. She turned around and, discreetly wiping her hand against the ground, grabbed a scroll. Unsealing into third level, she retrieved a fresh shirt. "Here." She put it across his legs. At least there it was still clean.

Madara tugged himself in and took off his shirt. He made an impression as if he deliberately wasn't looking at her.

Sakura's heart wasn't slowing down. Did it go alright? Or was he upset again? "Are you embarrassed?" she fired the first question that came to her mind.

Madara turned his head and looked at her with a curious smile. "Yes. Actually, I am."

She wanted to curl into the herself and disappear.

"I think I haven't felt embarrassed for a good half of a century or longer," he continued. "So, that's quite refreshing to feel it again."

Sakura breathed out.

"Are you?" he asked back.

She nodded feeling her cheeks getting even redder than the must have been already. "Horribly embarrassed. But I'll survive. As long as I know that I did an okay job…?"

"I have no complains," said Madara overly seriously.

Sakura snorted at the joke.

As they lied down to sleep, it was Madara who fell into sleep first. Sakura was mesmerized – she never witnessed it before! Held tightly by him, she could pinpoint exactly the moment when his consciousness switched off – the minute relaxation of all the muscles, as if his body fell from a tiny cliff, and she was there to catch him. She stayed awake until the fire burnt out, just listening to him breathing.

* * *

It was his own utter stupidity that put that avalanche into motion. What had come onto him that he decided honesty in such a matter was even an option? Why did he lower his guard so much around her?

It was all his doing.

But at least she looked less unhappy now. Last couple of days she actually acted quite cheerful.

He hated himself on the first day, swore he would never repeat it. And when she came to him again, he caved in. She looked so miserable; he couldn't bear looking at her. She told him it brought her reprieve, made her happy. Something he did made her happy. Maybe it was wrong, surely it was wrong, and surely it was unwise, but… it made her happy.

If it would help her to keep going, he could be doing that, he had rationalized.

And then she came to him again, that time with this preposterous proposal. And she managed to get her way again, with those emotional blackmails of hers. Madara was seriously questioning his sanity. Why couldn't he deliver a better resistance? But seeing her physically recoil from his words when he tried to reject that insane idea was too much for him. She looked as if he had hit her; like a dog that had been kicked too often – he couldn't bear seeing her like that.

And he couldn't deny – after all this tension he also needed some release. And what she delivered, mixed with all the sentiments he felt for her – was a closest thing to a loving act that he had experienced in a century. Or maybe ever.

.

"So," started Madara one evening, after a day they made a good progress and the camp was for once in a dimension with actual structure. They even found a stone wall with an overhang to camp under. "How many months from the Tsukuyomi are we now? You do keep track, don't you?"

Sakura leafed through a pocket notebook she retrieved from her pouch. "Something like seventeen-eighteen months."

Madara made a quick calculation. Timing should fit. "So, it should be spring?"

Sakura's lips bent in sad grimace. "Yes. Not that there will be much of spring this year… Why do you bring it up? It only reminds me.."

"Here." Madara fished out a sealing scroll out of the pack. "Unseal it."

Sakura looked up to him. "What is it? What does it have to do with spring?" But she weaved the handseals. A rectangular piece of wood popped into existence, together with a cascade of small wooden pieces. They fell all over her lap as not expecting the onslaught, she failed to contain them.

"Shogi?" She picked up a piece from the ground and rolled it between her fingers. "Is it complete? Where did you find it? In Kiri?"

"No."

"It looks so new. Wait… Did you make it?!"

"Just something to kill time. It was a pleasant diversion and I thought you will like it."

Sakura considered him with slightly narrowed eyes. "I do. Of course, I do! But why are you giving it to me now? And it must have taken you weeks, why have you never mentioned that you're working on it?"

"From what you described birthday presents are supposed to be surprises."

Sakura blinked. "Is it?" She blinked some more. "Is it my birthday present?! Really?! Oh gods, thank you! Thank you so much."

Still holding the board in one hand she flung herself on his neck. Madara patted her back, not really knowing what to do with that sudden proximity.

"Maybe we could play a game or two?" he proposed.

"Sure! Of course! Now we can finally play properly. There is whole set of rules about how you should behave playing, you know? I never bothered when using those paper things, but now we can have some more ceremony around it. That will be a tiny luxury, finally not limiting ourselves to only that what is absolutely necessary."

She sat on her heels and started to divide the pieces. "Shikaku-san was always so meticulous when arranging them. There is a certain order it which you should place then before the game. I'm not sure if I remember, because Shikamaru was too lazy to follow the order, and I mostly played with him. But I think it went like this…" She placed gold generals left and right from the king and started to browse the pile in search for the silver ones.

Shikamaru was a former classmate and a friend, this much Madara knew. "Who is Shikaku?" he asked.

"Shikamaru's dad. Head of Nara clan and the main commander of the allied forces. He's... he was a really brilliant man." Sakura paused and swallowed. "Pity you've never met him; you would have liked him."

"Was he not involved in the battle?"

"He was in headquarters. He was coordinating the troops' movements."

"I see. Then I think I've met him. In a way. That coordinated attack was a thing of beauty."

Sakura nodded and fell silent for a moment. Then she took the piece between two fingers, with a distinctive clicked placed it further on the board and smiled at him. "It feels as it should! The shape and the weight are perfect! Even the sound is correct! How did you manage?!"

Madara shrugged. "I remembered a thing or two from my youth." He tactically omitted the fact that he re-made each piece at least four times over, to get them just perfect. "Let's start, shall we?"

"Yes! Now we can play the game as we should!" Sakura sat up straight. "With the proper ceremony."

The first party he won. It was happening from time to time recently. When her defeat became apparent, Sakura straightened up on her side of the board and bowed. "I have lost," she announced and started to collect the pieces.

The next game she won. It was Madara's turn to solemnly voice his defeat. Admitting to a loss tasted so alien on his tongue – in real life there was always another day, always some back-up plan or tactical lying in wait for an opening to appear. But he found that in front of her he could say it without this ugly pang of anger and shame. "I have lost," he said bowing forwards. In more ways than just in shogi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, and please, do share your thoughts with me! There is a lot of development on the shippy field in this chapter - something I believe most people were waiting for - so please tell me what you think about it!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Last Ones Standing receive 3 (three!) amazing fanarts last days.
> 
> Yomigaeru's illustration to Chapter 7: http://yomi-gaeru.tumblr.com/post/619659763620429824
> 
> And IvNarwhal's two illustrations to Chapter 11: http://twitter.com/IvNarwhal/status/1266787719872733184, and http://twitter.com/IvNarwhal/status/1267759282025627655
> 
> Thank you so much Yomigaeru and IvNarwhal! Please go check out their art, everyone!

The branch was long, more than nine hundred dimensions, though, as in the previous one, towards the end of it there were mostly voids. They've found the end soon after the celebration of Sakura's birthday, and she immediately announced it a present from fate.

It was a joy to see her happy.

Some hundred dimensions on the way back – they again followed the parallel line back, to cover more ground - they found well, a 'civilization' was an overstatement. But human-like creatures. Frighteningly human-like, though lacking any form of culture or technology, reduced to using tools made out of sharpened sticks and roughly chipped stone. Or maybe they were reduced to it. Maybe it was the pinnacle of their development.

When they saw them first, a group of maybe fifteen men, women and children crossing a wide river, Sakura literally bumped against the wall of Susano'o trying to get to them. When they landed, the poor creatures scattered in panic, some caught by the current, and it took them couple of hours to track down a group of two women with small children. They were scared out of their lives, women clutching their babies to their chests, trying to shield them from Madara and Sakura, older kids howling and crying.

Madara and Sakura sat down to look less threatening, but it didn't bring much. The only thing they achieved was that the women started to crawl away.

"We might have just founded a religion" quipped Madara. "With us flying down from the sky on the wings of a blue giant… Imagine the stories…"

"I don't think there will be any stories… I don't think they can even talk."

Indeed, those people didn't communicate with each other apart from some guttural groans, even as mothers were trying to gather the frightened children closer to themselves.

With heavy heart, they left the creatures to themselves, seeing that the communication attempts were futile. They checked the rest of this dimension carefully, but found only couple of other groups of those pre-people. They spotted them only because they were extra careful. Those people would scatter and lie flat on the ground at the sight of Susano'o or run and hide among vegetation and were to be seen only if Madara and Sakura surprised them in the open. That brought them to a conclusion that they could have missed similar situations in other dimensions. Sakura got really depressed, until she reminded herself that it was their teammates who were their objective, and they would have responded to seeing Susanoo and fire signs by active approach.

They ended up hunting down several deer-like animals for fresh meat supply, and leaving the dimension without any substantial interaction with the natives. Sakura's thirst for human contact wasn't quenched.

* * *

As he feared, she made a habit of that 'exchange of favours'. She never verbalized it again but she found a way to make her intentions clear. If she would lie down and nestle to him when settling down for a night – it meant that she wanted only to be held. If instead, she would traverse into his mat, and place herself between his legs - it meant she wanted to be touched.

He couldn't even say that he really regretted things taking such a turn. It was an outlet for the pent-up frustrations for him as well. And it was shaping to be a safe outlet. He put utmost care not to touch her in any way that would betray his desire, that could be read as making advances. He limited his touches to where she wanted them – between her legs. Still, she would always lean against him, he felt her warmth, her breathing, spasming of her body that accompanied her reaching her completion… And she was responding – pushing against his hand, moving her hips in the rhythm that his fingers played. It was more than he could have ever asked for.

He thought about embracing her, holding her fast when he was touching her, but in the end, he decided against it. He would plant his other hand firmly behind himself instead. When, and if at all, she wanted him to do something differently, she would find a way to communicate it, he was sure. She wasn't shy. He knew it wasn't easy for her, and he appreciated even more. He liked it about her. A small voice at the back of his head supplemented that he never liked timid women.

It would follow the same pattern each time - he would do her, then she would turn, or move to sit next to him, and do her part. When she sat between his legs there was at least some body contact to be had. Nevertheless, he liked it better when she sat next to him - then her shirt would slide up her thighs and he could see the curve of her behind.

He loved watching her in general – how her cheeks were turning redder as she worked him. The look of complete concentration on her face. Sneaky glimpses she would send up to check on him. She seemed more comfortable performing the act by then and he was immensely relieved by it.

* * *

Four hundred dimensions into their way back, in a barren rocky world that could in no way support life, Sakura de-attached herself abruptly from his elbow. And ran. He called out after her, but she paid him no heed.

She stopped only at the edge of strange, concave rock formation – a crater of sorts, maybe fifty meters wide. When he approached, he saw Sakura kneeling in the middle of it and tracing her fingers along spiraling line that unwounded from the center of the crater all way to its edge.

She raised her head and her eyes were huge. "Look! This pattern! It looks like Naruto's Rasengan!"

Madara ran his palm across the ridges etched in the stone. Whatever created them, was powerful. "A jutsu of your Jinchūriki-friend?"

Sakura nodded. "It gives chakra a physical form. And it holds it rotating in the sphere, until the impact. That," she pointed down, "can be the effect of it!"

Those lines indeed _could_ have been made by chakra. Madara straightened up. The months of forced idleness immediately forgotten, as he felt a familiar rush of adrenaline. "Get up," he barked, pacing towards her in long strides. "And concentrate."

He stood back-to-back with her, scanning the perimeter. Behind him, he could feel how Sakura was manipulating her chakra to sense natural energy.

"Nothing," she said after a while. "Nothing alive in my range."

Without a word Madara cloaked them both in Susano'o.

Sakura shouted out in protest. "Hey, don't lock me up inside it! I won't be able to fight when I'm stuck in Susano'o!"

"You're staying inside. That's not up to discussion." He'll be thrice damned if some harm comes to her. "We're both staying in, in fact. From what you've told me, the goddess relies on stealth with those portals opening voicelessly seemingly everywhere… I need you as another pair of eyes. Watch my back."

Whatever this damned goddess was, his Susano'o will withstand her. Or at least blunt the impact.

He will get the bitch.

They flew high, searching for any traces of the goddess or Sakura's teammates. Couple of kilometers away from their entry point, they found a crater of similar form, but smaller. The rest of day's-worth of search brought nothing more.

That night, for the first time since months, they kept watches again. Not that Madara slept much in his designated resting time. He suspected neither did Sakura.

The next day failed to bring progress. So did the one after it. They opted for systematic search of the entire world – flying in in circles from one pole of that small rocky world to another.

They didn't talk much – both concentrated and in permanent battle-readiness. It was the first time he saw Sakura so scared – she was tensing up each time they were flying over a mountain ridge, she kept turning her head to look behind herself in a way that would have spoken of paranoia under different circumstances. But she was simply anticipating the goddess appearing behind her every single second of their stay in this world.

They found no further traces of life, or fights. On the opposite hemisphere they discovered a tight cluster of depressions with spiraling patterns that were somewhat weathered away. And after two weeks of search they found themselves exactly how they started – examining the crater at the dimension's entry point. Sakura's nervous anticipation morphed into something akin to apathy by then. He suspected having the hopes up and then down once again was taking its toll. And so was the fear that was her constant companion.

Sakura was stroking the stone ridges, as if they were something alive, something she wanted to hold and caress. "At this point – I'm not even sure if it's really Naruto's jutsu," she said. "I'm not sure of anything anymore."

"Let's investigate this area more." The last thing Madara wanted was to be dismissive about her ideas. Or gut-feelings. And it might have been a break-through. "We're on the line once-removed from her cardinal direction. Check what was the counterpart of this dimension on our way up the branch."

Sakura took out her notebook. She sat cross-legged – the first time he saw her doing so in those two weeks. She must have been tense beyond belief all that time. Sakura leafed through her logbook. "Empty plane type. With no light source. We didn't do a proper search. That's a given at this point we should. But if she had gone as far as to…" Sakura glimpsed into the notebook, "to the 517th dimension without leaving any traces of fight, then it's unlikely she left any in exactly the 517th one."

"Unless she had changed her trajectory much earlier, and did most of her travel along the line we are on now. Maybe there are traces of fights all over this line."

"Yup. Or..." dragged Sakura, "she is able to jump hundreds of dimensions at once... Are such long jumps even possible? Can you jump more than one dimension? And if yes - how many dimensions can you span with one jump?"

"Something to check. I'll try tomorrow. Aiming into an already known one of course."

Sakura fiddled with a loose thread on the hem on her shirt. "If she can jump this far and if she changes her directions freely, then we're screwed. We can forget all out theories."

"We have no way of knowing how she jumps. We can only stick to our best assumptions."

Sakura let her head hung low. "Ok," she said after a while and she sounded more collected. "Checking the dimension next to this one on the cardinal direction line and checking the feasibility of long jumps - that's two things. But I think we should inspect the dimensions around this one systemically as well."

"Complete cube as around our home-dimension?"

Sakura chewed on her lip. "I think so. I know it will take a lot of time... But couple of layers at least?"

"Alright."

She smiled at him and some tension disappeared from her shoulders. He never understood why his approval seemed to her so out of her reach.

They set up a camp, put guard seals around it - just for Sakura's peace of mind, because the dimension _was_ empty - and lied together the first time for two weeks. Sakura crawled into his embrace and pressed herself to him, as if she wanted to hide.

"Shh… You can relax now. The goddess is not here. For the good and bad of it."

Sakura sniffled into his shirt. "I just want it to be over… I want it to be all over!" She moved her head, and it was clear she is wiping her tears. "You know… even if we find their bodies, even if she kills us. I just wish for an ending."

"She won't kill us." Madara clenched his teeth. "At least that I can promise. I know you're tired, but finding their bodies isn't really something you want. Right?"

Sakura nodded.

"Sleep now. Tomorrow we start the search."

* * *

They checked three layers completely. In one of the fourth-layer dimension Sakura found a cracked and blackened patch of stone near the entry portal. For Madara it didn't look particularly convincing, but Sakura claimed that those could be traces of Chidori. He also didn't understand why would a jutsu aimed at the goddess end up dispatched into the ground. This dimension was empty as well. But, incidentally, it did lie on the cardinal direction from the putative Rasengan-dimension, so they followed this line.

Sakura's hopes were like tides, like moon itself – waxing and waning. And they brought her mostly suffering, from the looks of it. She was agitated, as if with every dimension she expected to see the faces of her teammates. And every dimension was a bitter disappointment.

In the evenings, he saw her going through her notebooks and scrolls, scribbling notes. She never admitted it, but he knew what was she doing – she was calculating how long can they still spend on their search before they run out of supplies. They had packed for a year and a half, with some safety margin, but the branch was longer than they anticipated, and now they invested already months into an additional, unplanned search region.

She was sleeping badly, waking up multiple times a night, tossing and turning for hours before dozing off again. Sometime she had nightmares – hers were of a silent sort, she wouldn't scream, but rather wake up drenched in cold sweat and unable to draw a breath. He wondered what was she seeing in those dreams. She still slept in his arms, but since the Rasengan-dimension she never initiated intimacy.

One hundred and fifty dimensions later, Sakura announced the end of search.

"We can come to this region again. Once we're properly stocked up," he proposed. "517 dimensions is not that far. Once we have a map and I know I'm not jumping into lava or acid, I can do longer jumps. If you want. This might be a more rational strategy than the branches."

"But the entire theory is based on those craters. And I don't even know what I recognized and what not. They could be just geological formations…"

"You are to judge – I don't even know the Jinchūriki's jutsu."

"It would make sense to decide after we come back home. After we see if we find any traces of fights on the way back. If we don't and we assume that she jumped five hundred dimensions in one go, then she can be anywhere. It makes no sense to come back here. Then I'd rather chose to believe that those craters were just a coincidence."

Despite all her cool rationalizations, she seemed very deflated that day, her movements sluggish, the corners of her mouth always slightly downwards.

They made a quick progress towards the 'Rasengan-world' – the way was mapped, and Madara learned that he could span three dimensions with one jump. That evening he insisted on having meat for supper. She had tendency of saving the choosiest supplies for imaginary bad times, but he knew she liked that deer meat a lot. And that she would justify eating it if _he_ wanted to.

Then he wanted to play a game of shogi. He won, and he could see that the challenge he posed took her mind off the real problems, at least for as long as the pieces were moved on the board. When they lied down for the night, she didn't fall asleep for a long time, lying motionless, as if deep in her thoughts. He couldn't sleep either.

Then she moved. Pressed her palms against his chest to have him roll to his back. And traversed the bedroll to sit between his legs. "Can we do it?" she asked propping on his thighs and leaning over him.

Wordlessly, he sat up and gathered her to his chest. She twisted around and opened her legs. He wound one arm around her waist and the other he slid downwards. She was wearing the underwear that he favored - the one from thin fabric, that would get transparent when wet. He followed the outline of her slit with his fingers.

He liked doing it, he had to admit it. And over last four months he had missed it dearly. And 'liking' was a grave understatement.

Sakura propped her head against his chest and opened her legs more. He tapped the familiar rhythm on her clit - he could already feel the light swelling of it through the fabric. She nestled against him more comfortably. And then, to his endless surprise, she reached down and edged her underwear to the side.

"Can you touch me directly?" she asked. If it had been little bit quieter, he wouldn't have missed it. "And yes, I am sure, in case you're wondering," she added when he failed to make a movement.

Madara raised his eyebrows - she was really full of surprises. Tentatively, he moved his hand to touch her flesh. It was very, very delicate, and very slick. Just with two fingers, he explored the folds, opening them more with every iteration. Sakura was staring down, and so was he. If she was breathing, then he couldn't feel it. He wasn't even surprised - he forgot to do it, himself.

He reached her bud - Sakura gasped and squirmed.

"Sorry." Madara withdrew his hand.

"No, it didn't hurt... I'm just not used to it..."

He put his hand back and as carefully as he could, touched her again. She didn't flinch away this time and a deep inhale she took spoke of pleasure. He tried replicating the movements he already knew she liked and soon she was breathing heavily and shifting her hips to grant him more access. He knew that if he put some effort into it now, he could finish her off in no time. Which he should be doing. But he didn't want it to be over yet.

He slid his fingers a bit lower. She was so slick that they glided with no resistance. He past her mound and crooked his fingers to reach her center. He couldn't see his maneuvers anymore, which was regrettable, but for Madara it was a fair deal. The heel of his palm pressed against her mound, keeping the pressure where she needed it while his fingers dipped deeper. Gently, gentlest he could, he circled her opening. Sakura moaned - a rare occurrence. And immediately stiffened. Her hand shot out to grab his wrist.

"Stop,' she said. 'I mean... don't stop completely," she corrected herself, "but... don't go further. Just... don't put anything inside, okay?"

Madara swallowed. He overstepped. "I won't. I promise."

Sakura got hold of his hand and rubbed her thumb against it. "But I didn't mean to complain... That what you did a moment ago - that was so good..." she added encouragingly.

Madara propped his forehead against her shoulder to gather himself. A whirlwind of conflicting emotions was raging inside him. Urge to plunge his fingers inside her as deep as they would go. And to replace them with his cock right away and drive into her with full force. Pain of disappointment about how this urge will forever remain unfulfilled. Completely irrational sadness at what some idiotic, inexplicable part of his brain interpreted as rejection. Self-loathing that he even felt all these emotions.

And immense relief. Because if she drew a line, it meant she still believed. She hadn't given up.

Sakura bent her arm backwards, behind her head, reaching to his temple.

"What is it? Did I upset you?"

"No. That's just a bit... intense for me."

Sakura laughed. "For you?! But it's me who's getting touched!"

Madara regained his bearings enough to resume drawing lazy circles around her entrance. That should deconcentrate her away from asking uncomfortable questions.

"You still don't get it, do you? There is pleasure in doing that to someone." He managed to ban the sadness from his voice.

Sakura bit her lip. "Oh," she said, and he wondered if it was a reply to his words or to his touches, because he just switched back to her clit. "Really?" she trailed off, and it was clear she wasn't paying much attention.

"Really," he snickered. "You're missing out on a lot."

He strummed her bud the way she liked and he could feel how she was balancing at the edge. A minute longer and she will finish, just like that. But Madara wanted more entertainment. Taking a risk, he grasped her bud between two fingers and pinched.

It was worth it - Sakura screamed.

She never made such a noise before. She arched tensing all her muscles and he kept applying pressure until she slumped against him.

Madara was so hard that he couldn't believe she didn't feel his erection against the small of her back. It took all of his willpower not to rut against her.

Sakura closed her eyes and stilled for a moment. When she turned to him, he opened his legs wider to give her a space to kneel. She busied herself with opening his trousers, both her hands and breathing still a bit unsteady.

He finished as quickly as it was humanly possible. He barely needed a couple of firm strokes from her.

* * *

The return home wasn't accompanied by joyful apprehension this time, and the gloom wasn't dispersed by finding any traces of the goddess and Sakura's teammates. A hundred dimensions before home, Sakura fell anxious and jittery. When they entered Katsuyu's range she stopped chatting in the evenings. They both dreaded the moment of reveal of the extend of the damage, but there was nothing they could do to avoid facing it.

She didn't run to the village this time; they walked there together in quick, nervous steps, not exchanging a single word.

The porch of their house was empty. Sakura climbed it anyway. She knelt where the cocoon used to be and broke into tears.

"Yoshiko-san…" she whispered between the sobs, trailing her hand on the rough planks of the porch. "Yoshiko-san…"

He sat down next to her, unable to offer any consolation.

"She let us live in her house! And now she's dead, she's gone! And it's all your fault!" she screamed clenching her fists.

"I know. That's why I'm helping you," he said. He stood up, entered the house and closed the door behind himself.

She stayed outside until late in the night. When she came in, he was already asleep, in his pallet in the corner of the main room. Instead of going to the bed she had assembled in the storage, as she always did when they were overnighting in the village, Sakura crawled under his blankets. He opened his arms to give her the place to lie down. But instead of nestling against his chest as usual, she wound her arm around his neck and peppered kisses on his face, dragging her fingers repetitively across his cheeks and his temples, over his closed eyes, his nose, his lips.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, "I'm so sorry about what I've said."

"Nothing to be sorry about. You stated the fact. The fact we have to live with. Both you and me."

Next morning it became apparent that almost all villagers were gone. Left were two cocoons by the harbor – probably belonging to young males. In an impulse Sakura wanted to cut them off and open, but he stopped her, reminding her that she didn't wanted to see the state in which bodies of those people must have been already.

Tentatively, they checked the Allied Forces Army by the tree – the cocoons were too numerous to tell for sure, but the absorption seemed to have spared the ninja so far.

They moved permanently to the slug dimension couple of days later, to the cave in one of the few drier spots in Shikkotsu Forest, the one next to the river. Madara sealed and transferred the bed and a low table to put into what will become their new home. One bed, because it was enough now.

From Shikkotsu Forest they made re-stocking trips, rummaging first through Konoha and then through the capital of the Fire Country for supplies. Or rather, it was mostly Madara doing the rounds, as he wanted to give Sakura some time with the slugs – at least they were living creatures she could interact with, and gods knew, she needed it.

* * *

Days spend with Katsuyu, under the gentle sun of slugs' dimension reminded Sakura of better times. At least when they weren't talking. Because when they did, all the topics circled around their mission… Oh, how did Sakura wish to have something else to talk about…

Until visible uncomfortable Katsuyu started a conversation that had Sakura immediately regret ever wishing for that.

"I don't want to temper your enthusiasm, and please don't get me wrong Sakura-chan, because I believe in our success, I really do." Katsuyu was always overtly politely, but such a preamble was something, even coming from her. "I know we have a theory and a search plan. Nevertheless, the outcome is still uncertain… And I must tell you that in my opinion you shouldn't engage in reproduction just yet."

"I'm sorry Katsuyu-sama, reproduction of what?"

"Of your species. The way humans are built - that you have to carry your offspring inside you for so long - it would put you under severe strain during dimension travel… And, Sakura-chan, I just don't think it's the best moment for that…"

Sakura's eyes went as wide as saucers. "No! Katsuyu-sama! We're not… We're not trying to produce any offspring!"

"But you and Madara-sama are exchanging your reproduction fluids, don't you? Though I always thought in humans only the exchange from male to female is necessary…" mused Katsuyu.

Sakura couldn't draw the next breath. "We don't… We don't." She pushed the air into her lugs by sheer power of will. Now exhale. "We're not procreating." Sakura forgot about the keen chemical sense of the slugs. Katsuyu was just smelling their respective body fluids on them… Denying the act was pointless. Katsuyu knew. "How to say… The exchange of fluids that we do won't lead to production of offspring…" Sakura finished weakly.

Katsuyu extended both pairs her antennas to her, mark of acute focus. "Then why are you engaging in such an activity?"

Sakura's wanted the earth to bury her right then and there. "Because… Because… It is for fun…"

Katsuyu undulated her antenna. "I'm sorry Sakura, but if it is for fun, then why are you so upset now? You look like you want to cry."

"Those matters are kind of private and we usually don't discuss them with the parties that are not directly involved…" Sakura decided if she will keep it matter-of-fact, Katsuyu won't realize how shameful this conversation was for her. "It is something that two people do… uhm… in certain seclusion…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and all the wonderful feedback I'm getting for this fic. It really motivates me and gives me wings! Please share your thoughts about this chapter with me as well!
> 
> Since I recently got quite some messages from readers concerned about their English skills, I would like to state the following: firstly, I'm not a native speaker myself, and I'm really not *at all* concerned about the quality of English grammar in your comments (lol). And secondly, if it's more comfortable for you, please feel free to write in the language of your choosing! There is a chance I will understand it ;) and if not, what do we have google translate for?


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Last Ones Standing got another fanart! https://itsravencrone.tumblr.com/post/620636059634630656/quick-drawing-sakura-madara-the-last-ones Thank you itsravencrone for this beautiful picture!
> 
> Also: this chapter received a fanart as well!!! Thank you so much Jingmcastle!! Due to it's highly nsfw nature, it couldn't be posted on tumblr, so it is posted (with permission) within the body of this chapter, at the very end of it. Just a heads-up: if you will be scrolling in public, or something - there is VISUAL NSFW content on the page!!!!

"So, where shall we go?" asked Madara. "Branch number three, or the Rasengan-region?"

Sakura raised her eyes to him. Was he really leaving the choice entirely to her? She knew it was well meant, but having decision-power equaled bearing the responsibility for the decision. He probably didn't know that it was a novelty for her. Never before had she realized the burden and discomfort of responsibility so clearly. Maybe because she never had many opportunities to really make choices.

Sakura bit her lip. "Branch three." Whatever choice she made, she would double-guess herself to no end. This way at least she held to more hope. She wasn't ready to accept rabbit goddess moving 500 dimensions without leaving a trace. Travelling up the next branch, she could keep hoping.

"Branch three it is."

* * *

"I've told you to finish the complete scroll before you start another!" Sakura just found out that a scroll she thought long empty still contained two cans of beans and almost a kilogram of rice. "You're introducing chaos into my supply list. And if we're already at it: yesterday I found your dirty socks in the scroll 4-2. I've told you already fifteen times that used cloths go to the underscrolls in the scroll 16 – the one that gets unloaded in Shikkotsu. And now there are your dirty socks among my clean ones, thank you very much!" Sakura was in such a shitty and confrontative mood tonight that she must be her blood soon. But it didn't prevent her from lashing out.

"I was planning to wear them again."

"Then you should have worn them to the end! Why put them back! They don't get any cleaner from it, you know?"

Madara didn't answer, but his digging in the fire with the stick increased in aggressiveness. Sakura would swear he was pouting. Internally, because it never showed on his face. "If we're already at scroll management," he said five minutes later, when she already forgot what was she angry about, "then last week you sealed the scroll 3-7-1 directly in scroll 3, and not in the scroll 3-7. How am I supposed to keep track of things if you keep messing up the structure?"

"I thought that I would need the scissors from 3-7-1 so I sealed it shallower so I don't have to dig for it!"

"And why after using those scissors you didn't seal it back in the correct place?"

"Because I forgot, ok?" Now she was pouting. And she knew it showed. It made her even more angry.

Madara, apparently satisfied with gaining an upper hand, lied out his bedroll and patted the space next to him. "Let's stop this silly quarrel. Come over here, will you?"

Sakura snorted. Of course, now that he 'won', he wants to end the argument! "Oh no, we're not doing this. If you want, you can go and jerk off by yourself!" announced Sakura and unrolled her sleeping bag on the opposite side of fire.

They picked up their taijutsu practice once again, and from Madara's initiative. It was hilarious to observe how giddy from excitement he was getting at the prospect of combat – even if theirs was a mock one and limited by a number of rules. Sakura could see that it really brought him joy. In those short moments she was able to glimpse something child-like in him, something more akin to Sakura's peers. Maybe even a faint reminiscence of how he used to be in his younger years? Seeing him so happy brought smile to Sakura's face.

Nevertheless, the spars were demanding. Sakura felt really rusty - the leisure break in Shikkotsu didn't make her any good - and all her attempts on attacks were rather pathetic. Whenever she would hit him without her chakra-enhanced strength, he wouldn't even budge, unless she placed a hit really well, like onto his jaw, or precisely in the solar plexus, which happened super rarely. The usually hits – against the torso, against the arms didn't bother him at all.

On a brighter side, after five or so sparring sessions (and some flexibility exercises that frustrated Sakura included in her evening routine) Madara started to have troubles landing hits on her. He might have been fast, but apparently his speed was also partially chakra-enhanced. Without this boost, Sakura could avoid him, and it made her really proud.

But whenever he did land a punch, she could feel it in her bones. If he was holding back for her, then he wasn't holding back enough not to hurt her. Sakura was grateful for it, it meant he at least found her capable enough to receive a true punch. He wouldn't pause after connecting a hit, would go straight after her, as if in a real fight. Usually that second punch she managed to avoid. It served her well to feel once again in a combat-like situation.

They were going through their spar for a quarter of an our already, and Sakura was getting a bit short of breath. But the air in this dimension was really god, so cold and crisp, she wasn't sweating much yet. She dove under his punch and aimed a swiping kick at his legs. He dodged. When she was straightening up, he spun, surprising her, and almost landed a punch. Almost, because she blocked with her forearm.

And immediately recoiled from blinding pain. "Stop!" she shouted exactly when another punch, aimed at the same arm was already coming.

Madara managed to extinguish some of the momentum. Some. Not all of it - the hit connected. Sakura screamed feeling how splinters of bone dislocate into her muscles. She stumbled backwards, unable to control the fall, her left hand clutching her right forearm in futile attempt of soothing the pain. Falling, she hit her spine against the stones.

Madara pounced, and held her, helping her to sit up. "What's wrong?!"

Sakura fought through the nausea. "My arm. Is broken." She wanted to scream again, but she held it down. Gods, that hurt. Gingerly, she turned the arm to see the injury – as she though, the ulna bone pierced the skin. Madara's first hit must have shattered it, and the second relocated the shards. Ugh. But she won't use the seal for a mere broken bone, that was sure. Meaning, she will need to concentrate enough to self-operate.

"I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to." Madara was staring at where the bone-splinter was protruding from her skin. He sounded strange.

Sakura shook her head. "No problem. Really." She tried smiling but it didn't work. She sent a portion of chakra to her nerves to numb them. She couldn't anesthetize completely though – she had to feel what she was doing. Clenching her teeth, Sakura pressed the protruding bone back inside. Madara was pacing around her and it wasn't helping at all. There, the biggest piece went into the right place – Sakura let out an exhale. Now she could start mending it, she thought with relief, sending a massive pulse of energy into her forearm.

"I should have known better," said Madara, more to himself it seems than to her, finishing another circle around her.

"I don't think you hit any harder that usually. It was an accident, that's all."

"Why did it happen, then?" Madara's voice was back to normal cadence, but it was an angry version of his voice. She would have recoiled from it, but this time Sakura knew he was angry at himself.

"It might be the lack of sunlight…" mused Sakura pushing more chakra into periosteum. She needed this bone well supplied with nutrients. "Most dimensions are dark, and it was you who did the bulk of supply-trips in our world. I was lazing around in Shikkotsu, as far as I remember." She looked up to him seeing if her joke found a receptive audience.

"Shikkotsu has sunlight." Well, the joke didn't work that well, but at least he was talking.

"Yeah, but it's mostly overcast there, isn't it? And Shikkotsu's sun is so mild, you cannot imagine ever getting a sunburn there, right?"

"Right."

"And that's what is needed. That kind of power of sunlight. Well, I will need to take it under consideration by the next return. And otherwise," she lifted her hand, twisted it so he could see the place of injury, and beamed at him, "see: everything's fine. Not even a trace left!"

* * *

He never asked for a spar again.

That made her so sad. But she didn't dare to initiate it herself. He had his reasons; he would probably just refuse and she would end up feeling shitty. And Sakura was already so self-conscious about being too forward. She could never really grasp what he wanted. Maybe the trade-off from the fun of spar wasn't worth the risk for him. Or maybe she was mistaken, maybe the spars weren't that enjoyable for him. She had hard time figuring him out and it was frustrating.

Not only when it came to spars. Even more so when it came to their nightly interactions. For the longest time she thought he didn't really want them. That the compensation that she proposed was only barely acceptable for him.

But then he told her that he drew pleasure from touching her. She shoved that thought away back then, too preoccupied with other things, but now, as the anxiety from checking the status of the people bound to the tree was gone, and the decision about the next route was taken… When they travelled again a hundred dimensions without much happening… Now, Sakura was thinking about his words.

She assumed that it was good that he had more fun than she expected, but she still didn't understand. For her, there wasn't just anything exciting in that what she was doing to him. Such a simple hand movement – grab, squeeze hard and pump. And repeat long enough until he finishes. What was exciting in that? It was so… impersonal, so mechanical… Whenever she looked at him, his face or bearings betrayed no emotions. He made no sounds, he never moved. He would only warn her when he was about to finish.

He said she was missing out… Should she feel something? Did it mean she was somehow broken if she didn't? Was there something wrong with her?

Or maybe she wasn't broken, maybe it was him? She was at least providing him some feedback. He never did. He never told her what he wanted. It was like walking in a dark room and expecting not to trip.

How long can one go on without any reinforcement? He wasn't helping her at all, and she didn't understand why. The only answer that her subconsciousness was providing was that what she was doing wasn't really good for him. Then he should tell her, how else could she improve! He was always like this, it was so frustrating! Whenever she did something wrong, he never sought confrontation, he would only stand back, and she had to figure out her mistakes by herself! Like then when she lashed out at him after return from the second branch, or when she was being selfish and didn't even think about returning the favours. Sakura would very much preferred to be told about her mistakes.

So, one evening, after a hard and stressful day, with passing several worlds that had no breathable atmospheres (luckily interspersed with those that had), when what she needed was exactly a tension release and a blissful slumber afterwards, she couldn't ban those thoughts out of her head.

"No. Stop." Sakura squirmed away as Madara slid fingers between her folds. "It hurts."

Madara jerked his hand away. "I'm sorry." He shook his head in astonishment. "I'll be more careful. I'm sorry, I must have.."

"No. It's me. I'm not… It's not that I'm not in the mood… Because I want to be in the mood, just… that... It's not getting wet there… I don't know why. Until now it always did," she finished unhappily.

"That's probably best if we just forget it for today."

Sakura shook her head. "But I want to! It's just that my body isn't cooperating."

"Do you have any idea why?"

"Because I'm stressed and tired?" Sakura's eye escaped sidewards.

"You're stressed and tired most of the time. And now you have something on your mind and you're not telling," he deadpanned and Sakura bit her lip. "And should I remind you who was shouting from the rooftops about how we should tell each other everything?"

"Oh, just shut up!" Sakura huffed in irritation. She shifted away from him, curled up and wrapped her arms around knees. "I'm just thinking all the time that what I do is no good for you…" she murmured from the safe distance of half of a meter, her mouth and nose hidden behind her knees.

"What?"

"It's just not fair what you're doing!"

"Not fair…? How is that what I do not fair?" There was a look of completely lack of comprehension on Madara's face.

She should have taken a cue from his expression, but Sakura was too worked up. "You never tell me anything! Your part works so well. You… you make me fly, sky high every time." Sakura threw a quick look in his direction. "My part… I don't even know if you like what I'm doing… You never tell me anything… How should I know if I'm doing it right?" Sakura took a calming breath. "I'm only worrying and I'm so self-conscious. How can I even start enjoying it if I don't know if you like what I'm doing?"

"You're doing everything fine. Men are not that complicated. Don't put so much thought into it."

"But you must want something! Can't you tell me?! I always tell you stuff. Ok, maybe I'm not telling," she corrected herself, "but I'm letting you know, right?"

"Right."

"And you appreciate it."

Madara didn't say anything, so she took it as a small victory. "Then tell me something as well. What do you want?"

"Me?"

"Yes, you. Who else?"

He looked so unhappy for a moment, that Sakura wanted to climb into his lap and embrace him, hold him. Hide him.

And then something in his face shifted - he considered with slanted eyes, as if she was a puzzle to solve. Almost as if she posed some kind of danger to him. She must have been imagining things - no one posed a danger to Uchiha Madara.

"I want to kiss you there," he said finally and there was a challenge in his voice.

Sakura's mouth fell open. She wasn't that sheltered not to know about those kinds of acts, but… they always struck her as very odd. And the only context she knew them from were men's vulgar remarks about how they wanted women to perform those acts on them. She wasn't even exactly aware that it worked the other way as well. Well, it certainly could… An image as brief as a short-circuit flashed in front of her eyes – Madara's head between her legs. Blood rushed to her cheeks.

She suppressed the urge to squirm and touch her face, to check if her cheeks were indeed as hot as they felt. Instead, she straightened up and looked Madara in the eyes. "That's cheating. It's again something that you would do to me!"

"You asked what I want. I answered. Do whatever you want with it." Madara shrugged. His smile was a bit too triumphant for her taste. Oh no, she's not letting him off the hook that easily.

"Are you trying to check-mate me with the fact that I will be afraid to return it?" Sakura narrowed her eyes. He could have been all-powerful, but surely, he wasn't above playing dirty. Maybe that was the reason why he was as successful as he was…

Madara shrugged again. "As I said – do with this information whatever you want. Just get off my back."

"Do you _want_ me to do it?" From those snippets of overheard conversations Sakura had an impression that those acts were highly valued among men. And they sounded repulsive back then because those were some drunken strangers in a tavern commenting on women they didn't even know. Madara wasn't repulsive. Intimidating – yes. Confusing - sure. But never repulsive. Even at the very beginning, it was more of a freak out at the unknown than anything else; and by now she was long used to him.

"That's not what I meant. You don't have to return this favour."

"I don't have to?"

"Of course not."

"But would you want me to?"

There was silence in response. Silence was always an agreement with him. "Ok. Ok." Sakura nervously tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. She was burning up, the loose T-shirt she wore to bed suddenly felt constricting like a twelve-layer wedding kimono. She raised her hands to her cheeks. Hot. Ok, breathe. There was a tingle going up her spine, all the way up, to the basis of her skull. And there was a literal puddle between her legs. Whatever problem her body had today, it was long gone. They didn't even need to resort to anything unusual – she could now just turn around, and let him do it with his fingers, like every other day. Which probably she should. But now she couldn't stop imagining how would that feel if he would really, _really_ kiss her there. "Let's do it." What was this alien feeling in her now? Excitement, nervousness, restlessness… Was it how desire felt like? It was making it difficult to think straight. "So, what do I do?"

Madara stared at her for the longest time. He was still waiting for her to chicken out, Sakura gathered. She glared back. Madara shook his head and took her leg by the ankle and moved it to the side. Sakura offered no resistance. He moved her other leg. He arranged her as if she was a doll, and she watched it, mesmerized. He was now kneeling between her open legs. Sakura gulped.

"Pants off," he said tapping with two fingers at her hip. "And lie down."

"But you're gonna see everything!" A screeching protest escaped her lips even though she knew she should have held it down. She had asked for it herself, how would it make her look if she backed out now?

"You are aware that I've seen most of it already, are you?"

"But not from this angle…" answered Sakura weakly and covered her eyes in shame. This was probably the most pathetic argument she'd ever made.

"We don't have to do that at all. It's not that I'm insisting…"

Sakura shook her head. "No. That's fine," she said and pulled down her underwear. Blood was rushing in her head; she could actually hear it.

He bent and spread her lower lips with two fingers, lowered his head and she felt his breath against her wet flesh. Sakura took a much too audible inhale. He didn't even touch her really and her body was already singing. She wanted to arch and press against something, she wanted to make sounds, she wanted so many things.

And then he kissed her there. He really did. She thought he would start from the side, work his way towards the inside, as he always did with his fingers. But no. He just closed his mouth on her clit and did what, for the lack of better wording, could indeed be called 'kissing'. First delicately, just closing his mouth around it, then applying more pressure, nibbling and enveloping it with his lips.

Sakura dug her heels into the ground and grasped blindly to find something to hold on to. At some point she succeeded – this something being an edge of the mat. She had impression that she was moaning all the time, but she wasn't even sure.

And then he stopped, straightened himself up and looked at her. Sakura propped herself up on her elbows.

"I… I want…" she started. But what did she want? For him to put his mouth back there? Oh yes, that for sure. But what was setting her nerves ablaze even now when he was away? "I want… I want to do the same for you," she blurted out. The image of how would it be was burning on the inner side of her eyelids. "I want to make you feel this way," she whispered breathlessly.

He pressed palm against her stomach pushing her down, and she complied. When he lowered his head this time, and closed his mouth around her bud – she didn't hold it. She arched, grabbed at him, getting a fistful of his hair and pulled.

He didn't move away, just the contrary, pressed harder. And then he sucked. Sakura sobbed. He stopped.

Then she felt his tongue drawing circles around her bud, flicking it back and forth, and she couldn't think anymore. Some time into it his fingers found her entrance and started to draw those slow, hypnotic circles around it.

He let go of the most sensitive part of her and dove lower – licked from her entrance back to her clit. And again. And then he swallowed. Sakura covered her face - those must have been her juices – she was sure it was simply flowing from her. And he… he just ate it. He returned to her clit and together with another round of suction that he applied a thought appeared in Sakura's head – will she also do that? She came as hard as never before.

She lied boneless for a very long while, starring at the sky full of strange, green stars. Euphoria was coursing in her veins. It almost felt too good to get up, but they weren't done yet. Sakura lifted herself up. He was sitting there, casually propping his chin on his hand.

She recalled her thought from moment ago. How will it feel to do it to him? Mirroring his movements from before, she shifted his legs to make space; with trembling fingers unlaced his trousers. One more glimpse up – he was watching her, scrutinizing her as it seemed to Sakura. He still thought she wouldn't dare.

"Now, you lie down," she said trying to keep her voice even.

Maybe the daring part was what made it exciting? She dug her fingers into his hips, probably harder than it was necessary, and slowly, oh so slowly lowered her head, until the tip of his cock was directly in front of her nose. She opened her mouth just enough to extend her tongue and licked the very tip.

And she felt it – a wave of tension under her palms. He didn't move, but he tensed all over. She licked again, covering a bit larger area. This time she tasted something – it tasted salty. Her head swam – she was really doing it. Really doing something so… No correct word appeared. Something she had never expected herself to do.

Another lick. And another.

Sakura forced her palms to relax – she was gripping him much too hard. Took a breath. So, what next?

She lowered her head again and carefully enveloped his head with her lips. Closing her eyes, she tried imitating what she imagined she would do if she was kissing someone. His head was all slick and her lips were sliding around easily, nibbling and caressing him. She had to admit it, she was getting into it – if was actually pleasurable.

But was it how it was supposed to be done? With him it didn't work like with her. Hers was only a pleasure button, just something to press for the right effect. For him… Some part of Sakura always knew, just until now she never verbalized it. For him it was about simulating an intercourse. Her closed fist served that purpose. And now, her mouth was supposed to do that. A new wave of heat hit her with this realization.

She opened her lips a bit wider and moved her head so that his tip slid inside, millimeter after millimeter, until it wasn't only his head that was in, but also his shaft. It was strange to have such a large object in her mouth. She felt him brushing against her tongue. Madara made a sound. She would have jerked, if she wasn't so absolutely preoccupated with her task. She didn't want to look up either, somehow the angles were all wrong, her face being too close to his crotch…

She took him deeper. She didn't know what to do with her tongue, so she pressed it to him and swirled it a bit. He made another sound, louder one. Okay, she was just too curious – she withdrew and lifted of her head to look at him. He looked… different. His mouth was slightly open, and brows furrowed, and his eyes… His eyes… There was expression of acute focus in them and of heat that she had never seen before. And traces of Sharingan fading into blackness.

"Your Sharingan…"

"I'm sorry. It was on a reflex. I won't anymore." He closed his eyes and when he opened them back, they were all black.  
Sakura licked her lips. "It's okay, you can keep it on if you want. I don't mind."

She lowered her head again and this time she wasn't afraid to take him in. She tightened her lips around him, grabbed the part that was out of her mouth and bobbed her head up and down. That was it, wasn't it? Imitation of an intercourse – him sliding inside of her. She was so hot all over that she thought she wouldn't take it. The excitement was trying to boil blood in her veins. She picked up the speed.

Her tongue was in the way more often than it was not, and there was much too much saliva in her mouth and her jaw ached, but he was reacting, she could feel it. His cock twitching, some more fluid coming out, those minute jerks she felt under her hands. Sounds. It was thrilling. Exhilarating.

She was doing it right, and there was something inexplicably exciting about that. Sakura rubbed her thighs together. She almost felt as if she wanted to be touched again.

But the task at hand was more important. He would come, judging from her earlier experiences rather sooner than later, so she needed to stay focused. She squeezed her fist harder and pumped in the rhythm of the movements of her head.

As she thought – a warning came, in the form of his hand in her hair. "Watch out," he said trying to pull her away.

Sakura splayed her free hand on his stomach in an affirmative gesture and dove lower. Hopefully he'd understand. It occurred to her that maybe they should have discussed it earlier. Was it weird to do it? But if it was supposed to be like an intercourse, then it was the whole point of it…

He let go of her hair. So, it wasn't weird. Sakura clamped her lips tighter. And almost jumped in shock when a spray of liquid hit much closer to the back of her throat than she expected. She stilled, trying not to choke. Another spurt followed and she managed to swallow it before yet another came. It didn't taste good at all. But it didn't matter. She felt it, she felt it all. All his reactions, all that it was for him. She tasted him, she felt the movements, even they were so small and restricted.

She moved her tongue making sure everything was gone. And slowly released him. Unwound fingers from him. Dared to look up.

The way he was looking at her almost made her tear up. She never, ever imagined anyone could look at her like that. With that amount of affection.

* * *

Jingmcastle (aka xXAonoNYmouSPXx) was so kind to make a illustration to the last scene! It's quite nsfw, so it cannot be posted on Tumblr, therefore, with permission, I am posting it here:

Thank you so much Jingmcastle!!! That's awesome! And just soooo hot! And Sakura’s is getting into it, one can totally see it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, and please share your thoughts with me! The feedback gets me going, and helps me keep up the momentum through this impossibly long fic! Please keep it coming, because, sometimes, I look at the amount of work I still have ahead of me and I'm tini-tiny bit overwhelmed.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are (again!) new fanarts for this fic! Go check them out!  
> https://kotoffeya.tumblr.com/post/621380679939342336/the-funny-moment-in-ch13-the-last-ones-stanfing  
> https://victoriacapo.tumblr.com/post/621431516310962176/attempt-number-2-olliya  
> and a beautiful illustration from Jingmcastle (aka xXAonoNYmouSPXx) that is so nsfw that the only way to post it was within the body of Chapter 13 on ao3 (so you can just look at it in the previous chapter)  
> Thank you so much for this wonderful art, Kotoffeya, Victoriacapo and Jingmcastle!

The third branch was shorter than the second one – 614 dimensions. The numbers were still in a manageable range. Sure, the cube was huge, and there was no way to search it whole, but it wasn't completely hopeless.

Coming back, somewhere mid-way home they encountered a streak of several beautiful, inhabitable dimensions in a row. Sakura checked their counterparts on the 'going-away-branch' – indeed, there were two inhabitable, grassy ones, one desert (but with normal sun and atmosphere) and then again one with vegetation and animal life. The theory of clusters seemed to apply not only to voids and deadly dimensions but also to the habitable ones.

That, together with limited size of the lattice was really good news. At least that what Sakura kept telling herself. She would hang onto everything that could be labelled as good news. And it was a joy to camp on the grass and watch a sunset.

The next world was a promising one already at the first glance. They landed in a valley, green with vegetation covering gentle slopes of hills. On the second glance, it got even better – plants were growing in regular hexagonal arrangements around a small watersources made out of stone. Between the hexagons, paths that looked trodden were crisscrossing. They head straight on, until the tree line. The trees where rowing in groups of six as well. It all spoke of deliberate planting. Of civilization. Sakura could barely contain her excitement.

After meandering between the honeycomb fields for half an hour, they found a broader, paved track leading down the valley.

"Jutsu work here. Good," concluded Madara letting a small fireball into the air. "But we retreat the moment we encounter hostilities. We're not wasting chakra on battling entire race. Plus who knows what is kind of techniques or weapons they use."

"Why are you immediately assuming there will be hostilities?! It looks like a peaceful, farming society…"

Below them, down the valley, roofs of small huts snugly fitting one next to another peeked from between the tree branches.

"Why are you automatically assuming peacefulness? Agriculture isn't any proof. Everyone needs to eat."

"You! You are just impossible, always transplanting your worldviews onto others!"

"And here I thought you will appreciate my pacifistic approach. Can nothing that I do please you, woman?"

Sakura huffed, and unpacked her transportation scroll. "Anyhow, if we're going into a civilization, we need means to support ourselves. Without using fuinjutsu in the middle of a village." She summoned daily ratios of food and two backpacks. "We should have something for countertrade… What would they want?" Browsing through a third-level scroll that she retrieved Sakura mused about the most universal tools that would be meaningful for any civilization. Honestly, she had no idea. Knives? But offering an offensive weapon can be badly taken. Ornamental objects? Those were matter of taste, plus she didn't have any. In the end she settled for two glazed bowls – the glaze was really pretty, blue with red-and-white patterns, and a woven leather belt that she had taken because it could double as a strap to a bag.

Keeping their guard up, they entered the village. The faces that peeked through the doors and windows were of golden hue and patterned in fine spots, but otherwise surprisingly human.

"Let me handle this." Sakura pressed her hand against Madara's chest, indicating that he should step back. "Hello! Hello!" she spoke in bright, friendly tone. She was sure that she could as well recite an ancient poem for all it was worth, but Sakura knew it was the tone and body language that mattered. She could only hope that theirs were similar to the ones of the natives. "We come from far, we travelled a long way." She bowed and continued. "Could we make a stop in your village?"

She must have managed alright because couple of villagers stepped out of their houses.

"Could we get something to eat?" Sakura pointed to her mouth. By then the people were already quite close to them. "We would very much appreciate!" She emphasized her plea with another bow.

Half an hour later, they were sitting under a big tree in the middle of the village, finishing bowls of some sort of grain porridge that they got in exchange for the leather belt. They also got a sack of brightly orange fruit and several rectangular pieces of glimmering stones that must have been money. Children were playing next by – it was clear that they had picked out the spot out of curiosity, so Sakura approached them, sat on the ground and started to methodically empty her pouch. One by one children approached - like curious, little animals, and perched around her. Sakura twirled a shuriken around her finger. Then she lightly pierced into her palm and withdrew her hand with exaggerated 'Ouch!'. After she was sure the kids got it, she handed the shuriken to the oldest one.

After they've been done playing with her items, the children brought her toys and presented them to her one by one, explaining in length, or at least that's what she imagined, how one plays with it.

Even if kids' skin was golden and their hair curly and almost metallic copper in colour, they were human, undoubtly human. The first, real human contact since beginning of their quest. Sakura wanted to cry. And to hug and cuddle each and every of those kids.

* * *

Evening came and the children went home. Sakura sat by the fire that Madara had started in the meantime. Her cheeks and shoulders were red from the sunburn.

"That's the most promising world so far," she started. "But it's a bleak thought that it took us two and a half years to find the first living civilization…"

"It is."

"I will need to calculate how many worlds we've to been so far, maybe do some statistics… I hope I was consistent with marking which ones were theoretically inhabitable. But it means that starting tomorrow we should start searching Sasuke and Naruto for real! We must figure out the basics of the language." Sakura bit pensively at her nail. "Learn how to say 'I'm looking for'. It would be good to be able to describe them somehow…"

"What makes you think that they are here? Out of all dimensions in this one?"

"Maybe they are travelling through worlds as well? Imagine they've been wandering blindly al that time! They would have surely stayed here, had they ever come across this dimension."

"What are the chances…?"

"Sasuke isn't injured the way you are. Maybe he can span hundreds dimensions a day. And remember, they are not looking for anyone – they are just trying to come back home – and they can tell if it is home from the first minutes withing the dimension. They don't need to invest days and weeks like we do. But if at some point they fell in despair, came to a conclusion they won't find home… Then they would have stayed here… Or, one could mistake this world for our own, if one doesn't know any better… Don't you think?"

"You know your teammates. You can estimate how likely it is." He didn't add: ' _and how likely it is that they even defeated the goddess…'_ Madara decided he won't question her logics any further. Even if it was pointless from the point of view of finding her teammates to invest more time than usually into this dimension, it wasn't pointless for Sakura's well-being. Those were people here; real, living human beings. Sure, they could fly around in Susano'o as usually, lit up couple of fire-signs into the sky and scan this entire world in a span of two weeks at max. But he won't suggest it. If Sakura wants to travel, walk around and ask around like an ordinary person would, then he will only support it. She needed it. More than her bones needed sunlight.

In the evening, when he was peeling these orange fruit - because their skin turned out to be waxy and inedible, Sakura was thinking aloud: "I guess I can figure out how a question should be posed pretty easily with the kids. I can hide some trinkets and have them ask 'where is it?'. Or we can play hide-and-seek…" Her face brightened up with a dreamy glow. Madara could tell that she _wanted_ to play with those children, learning the language irrespectively. "But how will we ask about the boys? Describing them needs a lot of precise wording…"

"How about drawing them?"

"That would be great! But I cannot manage more than stick figures."

"Hmm… Give me some paper that you are willing to spare and I'll try."

She pasted herself to his arm when he was drawing, shouting out random exclaims of praise literally every ten seconds, which altogether, was rather deconcentrating.

"Oh gods! That's amazing! Those are exactly Naruto's eyes! How do you do that?!"

She was squirming from excitement next to him, so Madara decided to treat her last remark as an honest question. Hopefully she would calm down a bit. "It's Sharingan. I remember exactly how something looked if I watched it with Sharingan on. It stays forever, and I can recall it. And then… I don't know, I just know to put those lines…"

"It's amazing!" squealed Sakura. "It's like some magic!"

"Nothing of this sort," he replied handing her two portraits of her boys – each face starting straight out of the paper at the spectator – Uchiha brat with grim expression that wasn't doing any favours to his features, the jinchūriki with his cheesy, too wide grin.

He was always referring to him as 'the jinchūriki', even mentally. He knew very well that the kid's name was Uzumaki Naruto, but he was dead set on applying the same treatment to both of Sakura's teammates. And he refused calling the other one differently than 'Uchiha brat'. He simply couldn't push his name past his lips.

Next day Sakura spent, predictably, playing with the children. They liked her; liked her enough to climb on her, have her carry them on her back, have her swing them around holding them at two freely chosen limbs at time. Madara sat under the tree watching her play. He never heard her laugh so much. He wished they could just stay here.

The evening came and she plopped down breathlessly by the fire he made. "I think I have it! It is something akin to: _'shakuy ese'_. At least I hope that that's it. I'll need to check it tomorrow."

"How do you intend to check it?"

"Oh, I know all their names already! And I bet they won't show up all together tomorrow. So, I can ask for the missing ones and see if I get a reasonable answer!"

He just had to return her smile. "And what else did you learn?" he asked passing her a bowl of stew with lots of local vegetables and some of the cured deer meat in it.

"Oh, so much! I know how to say 'hello' and 'goodbye', 'up' and 'down'; I can count until ten; I know the words for tree, sun, house, flower, eyes, nose, hair. I think they really like my hair, you know?"

"Hn," said Madara putting a spoonful of stew in his mouth. He could understand the sentiment.

.

They didn't stay. Two days later, they hit the road. The actual road. Madara couldn't even remember when was the last time he walked a dirt track on his own two legs. In the next village Sakura made good use of her newly acquired knowledge and his sketches. He admired how easily it came to her to approach random strangers with that trustful and cheerful smile and ask them for help.

Predictably, no one saw the boys in this village and in the three next ones down the valley, which in meantime got broader and opened up to a vast plain. Their dirt road became wider and more trodden and in one evening on the horizon they saw a rusty, diffused glow that could come only from city lights.

* * *

Sakura was so excited to see the city. From the looks of it, it was huge. Much bigger than the capital of the Land of Fire, it splayed across the entire valley, until the horizon. Before entering, they methodically went through their supplies, separating everything that could be traded, and putting it into the backpacks. Camping won't be an option anymore, they needed money to pay for food and accommodation. Luckily, they had a lot with them. Different kinds of knives and kitchenware, those clothes that Sakura took just in case and she now deemed pretty enough, three of the least favourite swords of Madara. Jewelry and other sentimental trinkets Sakura retrieved from fallen ninja – with heavy heart she decided to give those objects a second, hopefully happier life.

Sakura hoped that the design of their items will be exotic enough to give them a good price. How exactly was she supposed to bargain in an unknown language she didn't know just yet.

Streets' raster was hexagonal and it needed quite some mental adjustment to navigate. Not that they were at the point where they needed any navigation – they just went in and proceeded forwards, until a first market-like open space. There, Sakura went from stand to stand presenting the items for counter-trade. After an hour she managed to sell one leather jacket, a kitchen knife and a silver chain. Her purse was heavy from those shimmering stones.

How should she ask for a tavern or a guesthouse? Sakura sucked at her lower lip, thinking. She touched the hand of the seller that just bought the silver chain from her – an elderly woman, with her impossibly curly hair tied back in a bun – to get her attention again.

"Excuse me," Sakura said in her own language. Words didn't matter, what mattered was communicating the intent. " _Shakuy ese_ a place to sleep?" She folded her hands under her cheek and closed her eyes for a moment. " _Shakuy ese_?"

The woman considered her with a gentle smile. Then she nodded, and exchanging couple of words with another seller, she left the stand and grabbed at Sakura's elbow talking energetically and gesticulating. She pulled Sakura into one of the streets. Madara followed on their heels.

The woman led them into some form an inn, and led a long and animated conversation with the owner, with a lot of pointing in their direction. Finally, some words were spoken to Sakura, and she recognized numbers. She scrunched her brows – it was too quick. The man repeated and Sakura placed one shimmering stone-plate on the counter. The man fished out several smaller stones from a drawer and presented them to her.

Sakura looked around – the place seemed nice. Clean and cozy. And so lived-in. She raised four fingers and pointed between herself and Madara. "Four," she said recalling the word she learned from the kids, "Four..." She made a pause and folded her palms to the cheek and pushed pebbles back to the owner.

It turned out to be a good choice – their room was on the fifth floor so they had a bit of a view of the city, was not only clean but also pretty – all painted blue and had such a beautiful, intricate pattern on the ceiling. Sakura was apprehensive that she took this decision without consulting with Madara first, but now she could see that he silently approved, as he stretched himself long on a very soft and very bouncy bed. Sakura smiled. Even if four days turn out too long, it will be simple good to be here.

Next days they spent searching the city. Madara drew another set of portraits for himself, and they divided the city into sectors. Acting separately, they were twice as efficient.

On the third day, Sakura was as usually going from one shop to another (in meantime she learned that the sellers were most approachable when it came to listening to her questions) and asking about the boys. Their portraits were permanently in her hand – she didn't bother putting them back to her bag anymore. She was walking already the tenth hour, making only one short break to grab something to eat, and she was so tired. She had to fight hard to keep up her act of a polite, a bit lost stranger in the need of help from the locals. Good that she was approaching their tavern, if her count was correct, she was two blocks away.

She entered a tiny shop full of strange glass ornaments that were so popular in this land – people hung them in their windows and their twirled in the wind making sweet, soft sounds. Sakura waited until the seller was done with the previous customer and presented him two portraits.

" _Shakuy ese?_ " she asked and pointed at the boys' faces. She will be given yet another negation. All she was ever given was shakes of heads and helpless looks. " _Shakuy ese?_ " It was a crackpot idea to perform the search this way. She wondered why Madara didn't insist on flying the Susano'o around and burning the fire signs on the sky just yet. He must have realized the futility of this pursuit already long ago.

A standard headshake. And the words she knew already by heart: " _Este ya. Mata se._ " No, he hasn't seen them. He is sorry.

Sakura smiled, bowed and turned.

And almost collided with the previous customer. An old woman was staring intently at the pictures in her hands.

She said something pointing at Sasuke's portrait. Sakura didn't understand. The woman repeated and nodded encouragingly.

Sakura's heart stopped. The woman talked some more, but she couldn't really hear her. Then she stopped talking and with her thin, wrinkled hand brushed away a tear that rolled down Sakura's cheek. Some more words followed, softer this time, accompanied with smiles. Sakura didn't protest when the woman grabbed her elbow and led her out of the shop. In the rush of adrenaline and emotions Sakura wasn't even registering how many turns and which direction they took. Which was an idiocy, she still needed to find her way back to the tavern. But she couldn't think straight. Could it be? Could it really be? The old woman was chatting, pointing between Sasuke's portrait and Sakura herself and smiling. They entered a plaza and Sakura couldn't breathe.

Old woman gestured at the set of tables arranged in front of an eatery. Sakura narrowed her eyes. The crowd was dense, but in the sea of blond and reddish curls, black, spiky hair stood out like a sore thumb. Her eyes huge, she turned to the old woman. She beamed at her seeing Sakura's recognition and patted her cheek. A new stream of tears flowed from Sakura's eyes. She didn't bother to wipe them. She bowed, folding almost in half. And ran.

Pushing through the guests, bumping her knees against the benches, she ran. She could have pushed a bowl or two off a table as some angry shouts followed her, but she didn't care.

"Sasuke-kun!" she shouted. "Sasuke-kun!"

Like in slow motion, he started to turn. Sakura hit her hip against the table, she wasn't looking where she was going at all, her eyes plastered to the back of black-haired man's head.

"Sasuke!"

He turned.

She froze in place. There were still good ten meters and several tables separating them, but hers was a tunnel vision now.

She was staring straight into Madara's face.

And something in her broke.

She didn't know how he managed to get to so quickly, she didn't even know how long it lasted. The next thing she knew, she was in his embrace, sitting in his lap, sobbing and crying her heart out. He rocked her gently and she wanted only to bury herself inside him and never go out.

He carried her to the tavern and she fell asleep soon afterwards.

.

They left the world soon after this incident. But before they did, they flew around it in Susano'o. From the height Sakura could appreciate even more how beautiful it was. Oh, how she wished they could just stay.

But they burned the bridges – Madara's Susanoo raised panic and turmoil in the villages. People ran screaming, trying to hide in the orchards. Some projectiles were shot in their direction. Sakura could only hope that they were far enough from the ground and Susanoo's glow dense enough that people didn't recognize the faces of those whom they helped now unleashing a monster over their houses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit shorter chapter this time, but I hope you enjoyed it nevertheless. Thank you for reading and please let me know what did you think about it!


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the second half of this chapter there is a section, that I would like to dedicate to the artists that draw smutty MadaSaku (lol, you'll see why when you get there), and most prominently to Yomi-gaeru who was the inspiration for that scene. Dear Yomi-gaeru, this is for you! Also, Jingmcastle - what you drew for me looks *exactly* like what I described. I don't know how you did it, I swear you must have been reading my mind, because this scene was written months ago.

He wanted to howl. Sometimes he just really wanted to howl.

Well, he didn't. He ran his hand across his face, and grabbing a despondent, sluggish Sakura firmer at the elbow, he jumped. Away from this world that was just a disappointment in a promising package. An embodiment of all good, peaceful and serene that they could never have.

The beautiful honeycomb – as alluring as honey inside it and yet spiked with treacherous poison. Both for her and for him.

In the next dimension they needed to stop – it was lush and habitable again. After several Susano'o's flights they failed to find traces of Sakura's teammates (or any intelligent life, for that matter), but they found themselves at a bank of a mountain river. A river full of fish that were jumping over the rapids and small waterfalls, rushing upstream. And, the fish looked surprising like the once he knew from home.

Madara glimpsed at Sakura. All energy was gone out of her, over the last few days she never smiled. The habitable cluster will soon end and there will be only voids, empty, black plains and his own splendid company. Not a combination that would help her recover.

"Let's stay here for a while. I want to catch some fish. And smoking them right away would be a good solution for storage."

"Isn't it a waste of time?" questioned Sakura, but her voice lacked the bite.

"There are no dimensions in the vicinity of our one with _so_ easily accessible meat. And anyways it's only game, not fish," he paused and looked at her. She looked so fragile. "I might be remembering it wrongly, but my mother used to say that fish are good for strong bones. And I like fish," he added in an afterthought.

Sakura nodded. "You never said you did…" A small smile finally graced her features.

"I will need some time here. Couple of days at least. Why don't you do a hike or something," Madara nodded towards neighbouring mountain peaks – they were steep but still grassy save the very tops free from vegetation. "The view should be quite spectacular from up there."

She wasn't the only one who needed a break. He didn't know if he could handle her permanent presence at the moment.

Unpacking the woodworking tools – he needed to make a fishing rod – he almost chuckled. Now he understood why married men so often went fishing. The allure of being away from one's wife, with a reason the said wife couldn't complain about, was just too transparent now.

Madara needed some time alone.

Seeing her face drop at his sight, there, at that market, ranked rather high on the list of memories he didn't want to return to. Pity that it was fresh in his mind. Because it was returning – with frequency of several times a day.

He had to admit that it wasn't only the seeing her suffer was what was hurting him. It wasn't all so altruistic and noble. He felt rejected. Inexplicably, he felt disappointed.

In the deepest, most inaccessible corner of his heart, he wanted her to smile that way at _him_. That she would come to _him_ , smiling like that, with no barriers between them.

This realization puzzled him. He managed to live his entire life, a long life, for a shinobi an extraordinarily long life, without desiring recognition. Sure, he did have those proclivities when he was still young; the miserable remnants of those still rattled in him during Konoha foundation. But afterwards? His entire adulthood he never wanted anyone's attentiveness, anyone's validation. The realization that now he did, would have even shamed him, if he hadn't been as trained in accepting the wild jolts of fate as he was.

Madara shook his head with astonishment – he never thought that gods have something like that for him in store. Facing and reigning in his resentment was a daunting task, but the last thing he wanted to display in her presence were some pitiful attempts of monopolizing her attention. Still, that will be a thorny path to follow.

Pulling another fish out of water he laughed – that was for sure divine punishment – to develop such feelings and be given the task of delivering her to her future. To the future without him. Madara hummed in approval. That was a fitting punishment.

Madara packed the six fish he caught today into a basket and headed to the camp. At least he had enough clarity to recognize those feelings. He wasn't going to pretend he didn't have them. Madara wasn't into pretending anything, and certainly not in front of himself.

* * *

They left the habitable cluster some two weeks ago and dove into the dimension maze. As every evening Sakura took out the picture of the boys and carefully unfolded it. They were already crumpled from constant folding and pushing back and forth into the pocket. A crack was going across the bridge of Sasuke's nose. Some of the lines were already smeared, and Sakura had to admit that inking of Sasuke's eyes and hair that she had done, didn't do the art any favour. Sure, now whoever looked at the picture, was getting immediate info about his colouring, but the face looked much less like Sasuke to her…

"Could you draw other pictures of them? Those got rather worn"

Madara looked at her with narrowed eyes. "They are still fine," he threw a glimpse at the paper in her hands. "Admit that you want another picture of him."

Sakura fidgeted. "I might… Would you draw it for me?"

He looked at her a tiny bit longer than it was necessary, and then retrieved a large sheet of paper from his scroll and started to draw in fast, broad strokes. She would have come to watch him draw, but the fish they had on the roast just started to burn and she had to rescue them.

"Here." He handed her the finished piece.

Sasuke - half-bored, half-nonchalant stood keeping his weight on one leg and propping his arm on the hilt of katana. He was looking straight at her from the paper. Like alive, down to arrogant smirk on the lips and challenge in his eyes. Even his stance was so much like him.

"Oh gods…" gasped Sakura. "How did you… He looks as if he was alive…" She ran her finger along the silhouette on the paper.

Madara only shrugged.

"Thank you. Thank you so much." Sakura held the picture to her chest.

Over the entire evening she kept looking at the picture. And even when she wasn't, she could see Sasuke in her mind. She could imagine him moving, walking, talking. All those things that she had long forgotten. She didn't even have to close her eyes.

She realized that Madara was watching her more carefully than usually. She wondered if she was having some silly expression plastered to her face. Madara looked mildly pissed, but he didn't comment on anything.

Came the nighttime, she invited herself into his bedroll. She sat between his legs and leaned on him. It was standard way of letting him know that she was willing to, as he was calling it, relieve some tension.

"So needy?" he asked circling his arms around her.

For a moment Sakura wondered if there was a condescending undertone in his remark. "Shouldn't you be happy about that? You won't have much work with me." She quipped, pulling her underwear to the side and dragging his hand to her slit. She hid her face in the crook of his neck and closed her eyes. She was so wound up that she could handle it easily herself, it occurred to her. But doing it together became such a habit... Madara pressed at her clit, falling into the just correct rhythm. He knew exactly what to do, and a minute later she was already coming, muffling her scream with her hand.

After she went limp and moved away from his chest, "Well, that was quick," he commented. "We might have set a new record… Seeing your boyfriend made you so happy?"

A wave of embarrassment washed over Sakura. Embarrassment and some peculiar feeling she couldn't quite pinpoint. "He's not my boyfriend," she managed the only retort that wasn't a lie. Was she ashamed? Did she have bad consciousness about treating Madara so instrumentally? Sakura bit her lip and turned between his legs. "Now you," she announced opening his trousers. He did her just with the hand, so theoretically she didn't have to suck him. But she would, Sakura decided. That was a good way to show her gratitude. And she was grateful, really. He went out of his way to humour her. And… was it hurtful for him that she was fawning over Sasuke so openly? Maybe she should control herself better…

She lowered her head and swirled her tongue around the tip. She knew he liked when she was starting this way. She licked a slow path down along the shaft and back up again. She repeated the treatment to the head, and sensed his body tensing. She would smile, but she couldn't – her mouth was too occupied. She propped her hands on his hips and dove lower. She really wanted to make it good for him, to make it better than usually. She relaxed her throat and tried taking him deeper. Would that feel good for him? But no obvious reaction stirred under her fingers. Maybe the depth wasn't all of it?

"Stand up," she told him.

"Why?"

"Because I want to try something." Sakura pulled him up and knelt in front of him. "Let's do it this way. Now you can move."

"Where did you get this idea from?"

Sakura bit her lip. "I... That's how animals do it... They move. How we do it is unnatural – you always stay so still. When you're about to finish you get all tense and I can tell that you want to move but you don't allow yourself…"

"I stay still because I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

Sakura smiled and ran her hands along his thighs. "I know. But now you can. You won't make me uncomfortable." She put him into her mouth and let him sink deeper for a moment. She wound her arm around him and pushed him forwards. It felt different. A new lump of warmth and tension materialized in her core. This side of their evening activities was enjoyable already for some time, pleasurable even in certain way, but now… Now it was making her straight horny. It had never made her horny before. Was it because she was always handled first, so when she had been doing him, she had been already satiated and off her high? But she also had her go already today. Minutes ago, in fact. Was she more horny in general today? "Just move, I want you to feel good."

"I will feel good anyhow. Am I getting my reward now, or what?"

"I just want to do something nice for you… Is that so bad?"

She found his hands and put them on the back of her head. She worked up and down on his cock, hollowing her cheeks and touching him with her tongue whenever she could. Sakura reached and grabbed the part that was outside his mouth. It wouldn't hurt if she squeezed a bit, right? He always liked it.

"Do you want me to fuck you?" he asked incredulously. But his fingers played with her hair if just a little bit. "In your mouth? Are you serious?"

Sakura bit her lip. Inexplicably, that what he said, made her insides clench. _'I want that you do it the way it feels best for you,'_ was the evading answer she was planning to give. "Yes," she breathed instead. "Yes."

He tilted his head as he cupped the back of her head and passed a strand of her hair between his fingers. "Alright... But stop me when it's too much."

Sakura nodded and guided him in her mouth. She moved her head couple of times, pressing her lips to him, as he glided in and out of her mouth. And then, finally he responded. He pushed in, in sync with her. His length went deeper that it would normally. Sakura quenched her movements, as his started to gain momentum. Soon his length was going in and out of her mouth without much need for action on her part. That was unusual – normally she had to do all the work, now she needed just to stay still. He wasn't even guiding her head, just holding it in place, establishing the speed and depth of thrusts by himself. And it wasn't unpleasant at all. And he would never hurt her, so Sakura didn't understand what was the whole fuss about. She could feel the hold on her head, and it didn't feel threatening; it felt secure. His fingers were running through her hair, sometimes traveling to her nape, sometimes along her jaw, sometimes down her throat. It was the first time he was touching her during 'her' part. It sent shivers down her spine.

Sakura slid her arm around him to hold on to him better. His trousers were down, so what she found was his naked backside. They never touched each other outside of necessary areas. Sakura hesitated. And grabbed him anyway. So much muscles… And at work! She never imagined that men put so much effort into this movement, and now she felt his muscles tensing under her palm as he slowly but firmly pumped into her mouth. Would it be the same if she lied beneath him and he would pump into _her_ …? For sure it would. She grabbed at him stronger to ground herself because as a sudden painful need bloomed in her core.

Never before did she feel anything like that. Sure, she fantasied about her first time with Sasuke, with declarations of everlasting love, tentative touches, and pleas to treat her gently.

Now, this wasn't what she craved. At all. She craved touches so harsh that would tear meat from the bones. Teeth sunk into flesh. Thrust so deep that she would feel them in her spine. Weight crushing her into the ground.

Out of question, all that.

Sakura tightened her fingers, sinking them into Madara's hip. She only wished he would go faster, go harder. Her head swam. Sakura snaked her other hand between her legs and pressed. He would for sure notice, but she assumed he wouldn't mind.

She pressed on her clit in the rhythm of his thrusts. He grunted as if in effort and Sakura looked up – he noticed. Oh, he noticed. He stopped moving. More blood flowed into her cheeks – now he was watching her doing it to herself. If that wasn't embarrassing then Sakura didn't know what was. Sakura's hand froze.

"Why are you doing this?" he asked and he sounded strange.

Sakura shied away. Did it displease him somehow? She blinked. "I… I just needed to."

"Why? Was before not enough?"

"No! It was! It's just… When we do it like that; when _you_ do it like that… I need it once again. It's because of you."

"Because of _me_?" he echoed.

Sakura nodded. "Should I stop?" she asked.

Something shifted in his face. "No. Go on," he said and his voice was strained. "Go on. Please."

Looking at him, she pressed at her core again and guided him back into her mouth. He resumed the thrusting. Sakura closed her eyes and forgot everything – who they were, why were they in it together, why were they doing it. The combined sensation of her own hand, and him pumping into her mouth overwhelmed her completely. She worked furiously on her clit, wanting more, desperately wanting more. She made a sound and but it got muted - her mouth was so full, her moan discharged into voiceless vibrations. Madara pushed in frantically, hitting her throat. She moaned again, pressing, pressing as quickly as she could, spreading her legs to the max, bucking her hips into her hand. Until her eyes rolled back and with a stifled scream she came. He followed right away.

* * *

"Can you draw my shishou?" she asked one evening. "You saw her during the war…"

"Hashirama's granddaughter? Why?"

"I would like to see her. On your drawings, people look as alive… And I miss her. I miss all of them." She extended her logbook to him. He took it from her hand and leafed until he found an empty page.

"Won't it be… sad?"

"No!" Sakura shook her head. "Not at all!"

He drew. Sakura realized she never saw her shishou during a real battle. It was a sight magnificent to behold. She felt so proud and honoured to be tutored by this woman.

Then she asked for Gaara. Madara drew him in his signature pose, with arms crossed over his chest. She asked for Gai-sensei (Madara remembered him right away), for Sai (Madara needed what felt like a half an hour of explanations about who Sai was until he connected the dots). After a long deliberation on Sakura's part she also asked for Kakashi-sensei.

They all looked as if they were ready to step out of those pages. So real.

Sakura snuggled closer admiring the shapes that crowded two pages in front of her. She didn't say anything for a while, and Madara was still holding the pen.

Then he started to scribble in the very corner – a face popped up, so eerily similar to Sasuke's that at first she thought it was him. But it wasn't - the boy in the picture had different lips, and long hair gathered into a ponytail.

Madara didn't put much effort into that sketch - it was barely couple of lines. Yet now he was staring at it, as she was staring at her loved ones. She left him with her notebook in his hands, and went on to unpack the bedrolls, both his and hers.

* * *

She gave him a notebook. She dug through five levels of scrolls, because she was sure, that she did take some spare ones from Konoha. She didn't remember though under what had she archived it – because apparently not under 'notebooks'. Finally, as she found them in scroll 21-3-17-6, she learned that she had categorized them as ' -tools'. She didn't recall doing so, but whatever, here they were: three notebooks – one with lines and two blank ones. She chose the one with nicer, finer paper – even though the cover was somewhat girly with a pattern of stylized blue-and yellow flowers.

She had no idea when his birthday was, nor whether he even wanted to celebrate it. She didn't ask, she had an impression that his past was rather a painful topic for him.

"Here," she simply said one day when they were sitting by the fire. "That's for you. Maybe you want to draw something in it."

"What should I draw in there? Something for you?"

"No. Something for yourself."

"Like what?"

"I don't know. Just draw whatever makes you happy?"

He looked at her skeptically, but he accepted the gift. Two days later, she was delighted by the view of him sitting, propped against a large rock that he had spread a blanket over, sketching something in the notebook. Sakura wanted to giggle. But she didn't – he looked so much in the zone that under no circumstances she wanted to interrupt him.

* * *

They were well into their way home, when one evening, Madara, tired from chakra over usage – as he had to jump in quick succession four times in the row, when they again found a row of dimension without breathable atmosphere, and Sakura didn't have enough chakra to heal him completely at their final stop - went to sleep early.

Sakura remained by the fire; a bit too wound up by the far too dangerous to her liking proceedings of the day. Good that home was just a dozen dimensions away, she couldn't wait already. But tonight, she still needed to complete her notes, because jumping frantically, she left the entries lagging.

She dug in her pouch – her logbook wasn't there. Sakura scrunched her brows. Where was it? Had she lost it? That would have been disastrous! Then she remembered that in the fourth dimension that day, as the earth they stood on started to shake, shatter and spill lava under their feet and they needed to make an emergency jump, it was Madara who held the notebook, because she was looking for the pen. Maybe he had packed it himself?

Sakura reached to his bag – there it was - hers dull red next to the blue-and-yellow patterned one that belonged to him.

Sakura hesitated and threw a look towards Madara. He was sleeping. Gingerly, she took out both – she wanted to see his drawings! He was drawing last two weeks almost non-stop but still she didn't dare to ask yet because she didn't want to make him self-conscious and stop. She placed his notebook inside of hers and opened it.

First pages were drawings of Konoha ninja from the times of the war. Some sketches of Tsunade-sama. Kakashi-sensei's profile. Hinata and Neji. As if he was trying out poses, or trying to remember further people that could be relevant to her.

Then drawings of that young man appeared. There were so many drawings of him. Younger, older. In battle attire, in casual clothing. Standing, walking, fighting, looking into the distance, sitting on the patio, reading a scroll. From profile, from the front. Smiling, pensive, annoyed.

Sometimes, interspersed with the drawing of that man, were sketches of a house: a room – sparsely furnished, inner garden surrounded by a patio, something that looked like a training yard. On later pages also some landscapes, mostly featuring a river.

Once, only once, there was a young woman with long, long hair dressed in a simple kimono. She looked sad, and her face was turned away from the viewer. While all other pages were nearly covered with various scribbles, she stood alone on her page. The neighbouring page was left empty, as if he didn't want to spend time on it.

Some pages later (and tens of iteration of the same young man later), a new person appeared – a boy with a silly smile and even sillier bowl-haircut. He also looked vaguely familiar, Sakura was sure she must know this face, but she couldn't pinpoint who he was. Some more landscapes with the river followed.

And then, it was her.

When she first saw herself, standing in an easygoing pose, looking to the side, her first thought was: 'gods, did I lose weight!'

Another page. Hmm. So that's how she looked like when she was concentrating – thought Sakura examining a picture of herself scribbling in the logbook - she needed to stop furrowing her brows so, she will get wrinkles.

She wasn't surprised by the fact of being in his notebook – she was in the end the only model he had. But when she was turning one page after another and saw tens and hundreds of iterations of herself, she started to feel weird about it. Because she never thought he paid so much attention to her. And secondly, because it was a strange feeling to see snapshots of your own life captured on page. Never before did she know how does she look like when she sleeps. Well, now she did. Apparently, she snuggled with the blanket and made sorts of a nest out of it. Or, sometimes she slept on her back, arms splayed and hair fanning around her like a halo.

There were portraits of her, drawing of her waist up, and full-body shots. Many drawings of her eyes only, as if he was trying different shadings and techniques of coloring her irises using the same grey pencil only.

Pictures of her meditating when gathering natural energy, pictures of her digging in her pouch, pictures of her discussing something animatedly with Katsuyu, pictures of her sitting on the porch in the fishers' village. Of her crying. Of her laughing. Of her biting her nail.

Sakura turned another page.

And pushed the notebook away so it fell from her lap.

"What happened?" asked Madara, woken up by the noise.  
Sakura gulped. "Nothing. Just dropped something. I'm sorry." She grabbed his notebook and placed it inside her logbook. "I'm coming right away, just need to finish my notes."

He murmured something incomprehensible and turned around.  
Carefully, she searched for the culprit page. Now, being pre-warned, she held the notebook firmly, as she stared at the drawing.

Drawing of herself. With his cock in her mouth. And eyes raised to the viewer.

Sakura took a shaky inhale. Well. She shouldn't be that scandalized. That was exactly what they've been doing for better half of a year already. He draws her in every other situation, why wouldn't he draw her in this one.

She turned the page. Her face this time. Contorted in such a strange grimace… Was it when she was coming…? Sakura fought the impulse to throw the notebook away again.

Next pages were full of similar drawings. Sakura learned how her lower regions looked like in detail she preferred not to know. But there were also sketches of her lying on her back with her eyes closed, and entire body radiating satiety – sometimes with legs still open, other times with them already curled up. Of her glimpsing up to him with half-lidded eyes when reaching to his crotch. Of her standing with her back to him with a T-shirt sliding dangerously high. Even couple of pictures of her naked. In every of them her body was drawn with such gentle, flowing lines that it felt like a caress made out of ink.

When she closed the notebook, she wasn't angry. Not at all.

A voice, always the same loud as bells voice was telling her that she fills half of the notebook because she is his only companion.

But she was hearing another voice now. A one that was saying that there was loving in those drawings. That such loving couldn't be faked and acted, or forced by circumstances. And that it shouldn't be dismissed, even if it was easier to fall into the well-known pattern of doubting her self-worth.

* * *

"How old were you when you awoke your Sharingan?" asked Sakura the next day by the evening fire. She had a theory about his drawings, but she needed more data.

"Twelve. I was a late bloomer," he added with an undertone of embarrassment as Sakura sent him a look. "My father was already very frustrated by my lack of progress."

"Pressure?" she laughed.

"I guess you cannot even imagine that. By then three of my brothers were already dead, and only me and Izuna were left. My father was furious at us, or at me, most of the time. I could face three adult men in face-to-face combat without blinking, I knew I was good, I knew I will surpass all of my peers. But for my father – not manifesting the Sharingan was a disgrace. As if those eyes were all that mattered. While ninjutsu is so many other things…"

"You don't sound like you were very fond of your father."

"Frankly? I hated him for most of my life."

"I'm so sorry. And you mother?"

"She died when I was young. I don't remember her very well."

Ha, so the woman from the notebook wasn't his mother. That kind of narrowed down her place in Madara's life. As far as Sakura knew he didn't have other surviving siblings and he never mentioned any sisters.

And the boy must Izuna. Madara's animosity also explained lack of his father in the notebook. Slowly, a pattern was appearing.

"And how did it happen? Your Sharingan, I mean?"

"For some time… for a short time I used to be friends with Hashirama. I knew he was a Senju, I'm sure he knew that I'm an Uchiha, but we were pretending that we don't… At some point our families found out. Well, I guess I can count myself lucky that no one died. Then."

"Oh! I didn't know you knew Shodai so long! I thought that the two of you, as heads of clans, decided on truce and then the village."

"That was later. Back then, when we were kids – he was just my friend. Afterwards… Everything afterwards wasn't the same anymore, our relationship was always somewhat poisoned."

Sakura didn't say anything. Now she was sure – the boy with the idiotic bowl-cut was Shodai.

And the notebook was Madara's happy memories, those that he made after awakening of his Sharingan. It was painfully monotonous in his notebook and now Sakura knew why. There wasn't anything from Konoha times either in there either. Nor from the times afterwards.

Such a long life. And so little happiness.

And then it was her. Pages over pages, her over and over and over again. Sakura gulped. It was the most peculiar sensation – she never thought that that warm, fuzzy feeling of being important to someone will be interlaced with such a heavy sense of responsibility.

She stood up and moved to sit on the same log as he was. Snuggled under his arm and wound hers around his waist. Rubbed the side of her head against his chest. "You know what? This," she made a swiping gesture, "all this, the mission, the loneliness, the fate of all people… I know, it's strange, but if I mentally subtract all this, if I forget it, or not think about it - then I feel happy. As we sit here, right here and right now," she snuggled closer, "I feel so happy with you, you know?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, and please share your impressions with me! Reviews I've been getting for this fic really keep me motivated and inspired and had given me already so much food for thoughts. Without them this fic wouldn't exist in the form it does. Please, keep them coming!


	16. Chapter 16

* * *

Sakura stared at the tree. She hated it. Oh, how she hated it. She wanted to smashed with her fists, to tear it into shreds. To go and learn every Fire Jutsu in existence and use it on it.

"How many months?" asked Madara from behind her back.

"Thirty-four," she answered forcing herself to look at the battlefield. It's not that she had the position of each cocoon memorized. It wouldn't have been possible even with her memory. But there were fewer of them, significantly fewer. The battlefield was now sparsely littered by cocoons, not tightly packed as before.

And the worse thing was that even in their disappearance they remained anonymous. Who was dead already? Was Ino dead? Was Shikamaru? Chōji might be still alive, his excess fat was in the end chakra reserves transformed into a physical form.

Wiping her eyes Sakura jumped down the boulder. Hinata must there. She _must_ still be there.

When she found the correct spot, it looked changed. Emptier. Without half of the cocoons some of the roots retracted and she could see so much further, almost to the horizon. Hinata was there, so was another cocoon that she always assumed to be Kiba. Akamaru was gone. Sakura shook her head – will it even be worth for Kiba to wake up now? Into the world so devasted, so marred? When all the bonds he had with his pack had been severed?

She approached Hinata. The strand of her hair was blowing in the wind, the same way it had been when Sakura had found her. But it wasn't the beautiful, deep, lustrous violet anymore. Worn out, matted and frayed, Hinata's hair was dull brown with almost orange hue. Sakura ran the damaged strand between her fingers. "Hold on in there, Hinata. Hold on."

She didn't have it in herself to tell Hinata that she would get her out. It made no sense. Sakura's hope was reaching its limits. They were too late. Even now, it was already too late. Even if they, by some miracle, find Naruto and Sasuke in that maze – what will be brought back to life? Couple of thousands of Shinobi? And then? What will they do? Starve to death on this desert?

A crease between her eyebrows must have been really prominent, as the first thing Madara did when she returned to their make-shift camp, was to run his fingers across her forehead.

"Stop that," he said. "No good will come from chewing on that. If you can change it – change it, if you cannot – make your peace with it," he told her. "You cannot bring back the dead."

"No, it's not that!" He must have interpreted her distress incorrectly. "Should I make my peace with the fact that waking them up makes no sense?!"

Madara arched an eyebrow at her. "And why is that?"

"Why? Look around! Everything's dead! This world is dead! It's too far gone! Like that toxic one, the one with huge craters… It is dead…"

Madara served himself the bowl of stew and started eating. Sakura already thought he just wouldn't answer, when he spoke up again. "Low numbers of potential survivors play to our advantage. This is a number that we can transfer to another dimension," he told her between the spoons of the stew. "At first through contracting them with the slugs and back-summoning them to Shikkotsu. For sure toads wouldn't be difficult to convince to cooperate as well. Then we can choose a habitable dimension and slowly move the survivors there. It would need to be nearby world, and it would take years, but it's doable. And who knows, maybe Katsuyu is able to back-summon also into a different world than her own?"

Sakura felt how the grimace on her face was transforming into a beaming smile with his every word.

"See, not all is lost. Don't give up just yet," he patted her on the knee. "A bit of out-of-the-box thinking can get you really far."

* * *

It was twenty-first dimension on their fourth, left-wards branch and it was completely ordinary. _'KCD4-FB-D21 – void,'_ noted Sakura in her logbook. She had switched to the abbreviations system some ago time already. Spelling 'Kaguya's Cardinal Direction, Forward Branch' thousands of times would have driven even the most patient person crazy. Sakura wasn't particularly patient to begin with and now, three years into futile their pursuit even less so… Th thought that 'Kaguya' could become the name she had written for the most of times in her life, was leaving a foul taste in Sakura's mouth.

It was completely ordinary dimension, yet Madara was still lingering.

"What are you waiting for? Jump!"

He shook his head, looking around. There was nothing around them, so Sakura assumed he was looking at the dimensions he could sense at the edge of his perception. Madara swept his gaze around the entire space once again.

"Too many," he said in the end. "There are twenty-seven of them. One too many."

Sakura jerked, turning her face him. "What? How can it be? Are you sure?!"

"There is an additional one there," Madara pointed upwards. "Between the up direction, and left-up-back corner. It's interjected between the regular dimensions."

Sakura licked her lips. "Let's check that out."

It looked all normal in the additional dimension. And so it did in the entire area around it, as they ended up scanning the perimeter of three dimensions around the anomaly. It seemed as if additional dimension just gave origin to perfectly normal continuation of the matrix. In the world neighbouring the one with the first occurrence of the anomaly, dimensions seemed a bit tighter packed to Madara. When Sakura tried sketching the three-dimensional map, he kept insisting though that the general shape of the cubes was preserved. It was quite an infuriating experience for her to have to constantly rely on his instructions when she was trying to work a system out. In the end, together they produced a sketch that according to Madara reflected the reality.

"An imperfection in the lattice?" Sakura squinted her eyes. "Why here, out of the sudden?"

"Maybe there've been more of those, but we never noticed. Unless we land in a dimension when a bifurcation happens, the slight compression of the branches isn't something I would notice during a casual jump."

* * *

Another surprise awaited them some dozen dimensions further. At first, everything seemed fine – a mountainous dimension with crisp, breathable air, its only peculiarity being very harsh sunlight. But then Madara tried to burn the crest in the stones… Sakura saw him taking the inhale, crossing his fingers into the seal.

No fire came out of his mouth. Neither the black one, nor the regular one. Madara scrunched his eyebrows and tried again. In vain.

He looked up to her. "I… I don't feel my chakra."

Sakura raised her hand to his chest – did his system finally broke completely down? Did he push himself too hard for too long? But then he should be in pain…

She tried directing diagnostic chakra into his body. And blinked with confusion. She couldn't sense his chakra; she couldn't direct her chakra… She didn't _feel_ her chakra…

"Something's wrong. Activate your Sharingan!"

His eyes remained as black as they were. "I cannot!"

"Why did you even de-activate it? Usually you keep it on for hours trying to show me how tough you are."

"I'm not trying to show anything. It's a bother to switch it on and off."

"But why is it off now?!"

"I don't know. I didn't do it consciously. And Sakura?"

"Yes?" she turned to him alerted by his tone.

"Your seal is gone."

Sakura's hand flew to her forehead on its own volition. She didn't feel anything there, except for the beads of sweat. Not that she would have been able to feel a Yin Seal by touch…

For the next hour they tried out several types of jutsu from the easy ones to the complex. She attempted to gather natural energy. All in vain.

"It seems that this world doesn't have chakra," Madara spelled out that, what was rattling in Sakura's brain for some time already. She leaned more against him – they were sitting back-to-back and she was damn thankful for his solid form behind her. It was easier not to panic when she could feel his presence.

"So, what now?" she asked swallowing thickly.

"First we search for water. Then for food."

"And then?"

"Then we arrange a shelter. Finding firewood will be hard here, so we need someplace to take cover."

"And then?"

"And then we will allow ourselves to evaluate the situation. But not earlier. Come on, get up." He stood up and extended his hand to her. She grabbed it and didn't let go of it as they descended lower into the valley. She interlaced her fingers with him and he didn't make any attempt of letting go of her.

Water was easy to find; every steeper ravine held a trickle or a stream. The food was more difficult. In fact, after the entire day of harsh trek they didn't encounter anything that look edible or even biological. The dimension was barren rock, stone and sand. Mid-afternoon, despite not fulfilling their second prerogative, they mutually agreed on checking the supplies they had on them.

It wasn't much. A small bag of soldier pills and a packet of crackers in Sakura's pouch. Half-eaten riceball made of the leftovers from yesterday's supper in Madara's pouch. Each of them had a water canteen, set of kunai and shurikens. Madara had a broad-bladed knife and a filing stone. Sakura had her medical supplies, her notebook, and, for some unknown reasons, a not-exactly fresh T-shirt.

And scrolls. Completely useless now, scrolls that held all their supplies.

They stopped when it got dark. This world either didn't have a moon, or it was a wrong phase of it because the darkness was such as Sakura had never experienced before. Without her chakra she felt not only helpless but also blind, deprived of a sense that she came to think about as of a given.

The darkness came fast, too. They barely managed to find a hole in the ground to give themselves some shelter.

"It doesn't look good," risked Sakura pressing herself closer to Madara. "No food sources and we cannot jump out. I think… I think I will panic a bit now," she let off an uncertain laughter. "It's as good time as any other, the evening is still young…" she quipped, but in reality, she really did want to panic.

Madara shifted her so that she was sitting between his legs. He wound his arms around her. "Could be worse. We have water. Which means we have a month or two."

"A month or two of slowly dying?"

"No. Of waiting."

"Waiting? For what?"

"Katsuyu is bound to realize we're not summoning her. She will start to wonder…"

"… and a some point she will decide to back-summon us?! We're playing a waiting game, then?"

"Exactly."

.

The night they spent huddled in their hole, futily trying to keep themselves warm. Sakura supposed that Madara suffered much more, as he was holding her from behind all night, trying to shield her from cold.

The next morning, they shared the riceball, downing it with lots and lots of water to cheat their stomachs. They trekked across the main valley and - choosing the most accessible one - they climbed one of the peaks on the other side. It was damn hard without chakra and proper food for the entire day.

The landscape they saw from the top of the mountain wasn't any different from what they had seen already – endless mountain ridges divided by deep valleys, without any traces of green. Nor of any other color. They descended, followed the next valley downstream, looking for traces of life. None were to be seen. The valley mouthed into a lake – pristine turquoise and surrounded by high peaks. Sakura wondered where was all the water going. She gathered that either it was evaporating, or more likely, there was an underground drainage in the lake.

The lake was sterile. It only served them as a water source, because otherwise it proved to be a damn obstacle, as the rock faces descended almost vertically into it, and without chakra turned out to be insurmountable. Though it took them several painful falls to accept that. They were down to two crackers and seven soldier pills by then.

Sakura was trying to keep her spirits up. Katsuyu was bound to notice. And she would get the idea of back-summoning, right? She would at some point. She _had to_.

To distract herself from the creeping uneasiness, Sakura started to consider more practical issues.

"We need to keep the scrolls on our persons all the time," she told Madara when they were setting up another camp. Well, 'setting up' was an overstatement. They just picked out a dry and warm patch of gravel and levelled it to lie more comfortably. "If we expect to be back-summoned without a warning, I mean. Everything that we have is in these scrolls, all the food, weapons, utensils, everything…"

"Good point," agreed Madara picking up his pouch and rebounding it to his waist.

.

The next day, instead of trying to encircle the lake, they identified pass that looked the least demanding and crossed over another ridge. Sakura had troubles breathing – she didn't know if it was due to the altitude or to was it the first symptom of undernourishment - but she was panting and acts of lifting her feet felt like a serious work. She wondered how was Madara doing - his breath seemed still regular - she concluded with relief.

The view from the pass wasn't any different than from the previous outpost. The monotony of the landscape was broken only by vapours rising two valleys away from them. They went this direction, not knowing what other cues to follow.

The vapours turned out to be stinky and rather acrid, but the stream from the ravine held warm water. Hot water, even. It smelled and tasted foul, like rotten eggs, but its temperature was an asset. They followed the rivulet upstream until a cave it was coming from. After getting used to the smell, it wasn't even that bad. And the inside of the cave was a bit warmer than the, already cooled down, evening air.

Sakura was at that point too exhausted to go anywhere further. Her stomach hurt and she felt so empty. They overnighted in the cave.

Next morning, they shared a cracker. Their last one.

"What do we do?" asked Sakura trying to hold the dry crumbs in her mouth for as long as possible. If she suckled at them long enough, they were turning kind of sweetish. "I don't think I will manage to cross another ridge. I mean, I will _manage_ , but I don't think it's worth the cost. We should save our energy."

Madara looked at her with furrowed brows. He was looking at her like that quite often the last days.

"Definitely. We can set a base here. The temperature will work to our advantage."

* * *

It was two weeks already, and they ate their last soldier pills three days ago. Sakura was holding on well mentally, apart from that mini-panic attack she had during the first night, but it was her health that was constantly on Madara's mind.

They set up their living space in the cave – they hauled fine sand from a nearby stream curve using Madara's shirt and her T-shirt as sacks, and piled it into a bed of sorts. They scouted the area for a satisfactory water source and found one that didn't taste weird. As temperature-drops during the nights were causing massive energy losses, they picked and piled up flat stones at the mouth of the cave. The were warming up during the day, and in the evening, they would push them down the cave and bury them in their 'bed'. If the day was very sunny the warmth that the stones radiated lasted even through half of the night.

They had couple of nervous conversation about differences in passage of time between slugs' dimension and the one they've been stuck in. Nothing conclusive came out of that, obviously.

He had impression that Sakura pushed her nerves away in order to conserve energy. And that she should have been doing. He was dead worried about her – she was slim to begin with, and over last two years became straightforward skinny.

That was obvious what it meant. Madara pursed his lips. Out of the two of them, she will be the first to go.

That meant he needed to do everything that she saved her energy. He bent over the half-empty water canteen and let another, so thin that almost translucent, slice of the leather-band fall into the water. He was slicing the band of his pouch. In the end it was leather - if sliced it thinly enough, and left to sit in the water, it should get soft enough to eat.

That meant he would have to make twice as much trips for the water, as they were now down to only one canteen. For the first days, they were making turns – once her, once him.

Already a week ago he forbade her to go. She protested, but in the end complied. Now he was going twice a day. At the spring he drank as much as he could, to save the entire content of the canteen for Sakura. But since a couple of days what would have normally been a leisure stroll, was taking a toll on him. There was a small ridge between their cave and the spring, and each time he was going uphill his breath was getting short and his heart pounded. He needed to pause and rest several times. Yesterday he needed to sit down.

Every morning they would leave the cave and sit in the sun. Every night, they cuddled desperately for warmth. He gave Sakura his shirt, and now she was wearing three layers – her normal clothing, that old T-shirt, and his shirt. She was shivering half of the night anyway. He couldn't sleep. And even if she hadn't been shivering, Madara doubted that his disquiet would have let him doze off.

Their nightly activities ceased. They did it twice, once on their first evening in the cave, second time some week ago. That second time was borderline unpleasant, Madara assumed that for them both. Sakura was dry, and he wasn't even sure if she finished. He was barely hard and had to force some measly excuse of completion out of himself by tensing all the muscles and evoking the most lewd image of Sakura he could come up with. He had imagined her riding him, feet planted on the ground, knees spread, and her nether parts stretched by his cock. He was disgusted by his thoughts ever since, but at least he had managed to come. A repetition though was at this point excluded. He supposed Sakura didn't want it either.

Sakura stirred and woke up next to him. She rubbed her eyes shielding them from the blinding sunlight. It was some hours past midday but she was sleeping a lot these days, and he was very happy about that.

Carefully, Sakura propped herself up and shifted towards him. She leaned her head on his shoulder.

"Look at those clouds – they have such peculiar forms… So fine, fluffy and evenly spaced. It will be a beautiful sight once the sun starts to set…"

He didn't answer. There was nothing he found beautiful in this damn world. Sakura sat up straighter and ran her hand over his hair and back. "Where have you been? You're all dusty!"

"Down in the cave. I was rearranging the sand."

She ran her fingers through his hair some more. And then started to comb them through it, squinting her eyes in concentration.

"What is it?" Madara stirred, trying to turn around.

"During your first life, at what age did you start getting grey hair?"

"No idea. Why? Did you find some?"

She nodded. "I've never noticed before… But there are quite many." She smoothed out his hair and snuggled closer. "But that doesn't mean anything! It may be this situation, you know? Sometimes the organism reacts this way on stress."

That little discovery of hers didn't make much of an impression on him. But, despite the mock light-heartedness in Sakura's voice, it made an impression on her. She didn't unglue herself from him for the entire afternoon. First, she invited herself onto his lap, and, later, when he returned with water, she sat embracing him from behind, stuck to him like a small, warm backpack.

"I don't want to lose you," she mumbled into his shoulder blade in the end. "I don't want to. I cannot even imagine…"

"You won't."

He kept to himself the remark that he won't be the first one to succumb to starvation.

.

Two weeks later and they were through both of the leather bands. The chunks of Sakura's sandals were marinating in the canteen now, but they weren't turning very edible. She threw up when he forced a small portion of leather slices into her.

The sorted out, most crucial scrolls were now bound at his waist with a strip of fabric from his trousers - one leg had torn open when he fell down the ravine the other day and he had to cut it at knee-height anyway. Sakura was very particular about keeping the scrolls on them – Madara suspected they served as a visual reminder of hope that Katsuyu will summon them. He didn't share Sakura's hope. The questions of how and when he should end it were appearing in his mind almost every day.

When he touched this topic with her, she vehemently protested, telling him she still wanted to spend more time with him. She clung to him non-stop that day. He hadn't raised the topic since.

He didn't have energy to go to the spring for good water anymore – they started to drink from the stream that was originating in their cave. All Madara's energy was now dedicated to carrying Sakura outside in the morning, so that she could be in the sun, because since last week she wasn't able to walk on her own anymore. Carrying her was proving to be more and more of a daunting task. Even though she was feather-light - all skin and bones, and those huge, green eyes burning with unhealthy glow - she was becoming too much for him.

Two days later he gave up on rolling the flat stones out of their sand-bed outside to get them warmed up. They were too heavy. After carrying Sakura, he just couldn't lift them anymore. He resorted to rolling new stones down the mouth of the cave. They weren't that comfortable to lie on, but they still provided warmth.

.

She was dying. She couldn't even prop herself up anymore. He didn't have enough strength to carry her out of the cave.

He still was going out, and rolling warm stones down. He could still somewhat function. Though it was getting black in front of his eyes alarmingly often, and he didn't dare to walk without propping himself against the wall. Nothing hurt anymore, and it was more alarming than any pain.

He looked at Sakura lying curled in fetal position on the sand-bed. She was almost gone. Couple of days more and she will just disappear… And it was all his fault. His plan, his doing, then his decisions to push the search. Should he have left her in honeycomb dimension? Or in Shikkotsu? Madara knew she would have never given up on trying to save her people. But should he have made this decision for her? In honeycomb she could have had a life.

Now she was dying.

His left arm. There was still enough substance there to carve something out, and he could maybe manage it. But in her state of deep starvation, he doubted she could bite, swallow and digest meat. But if he minced it finely enough? Maybe she could get something down?

Madara shook his head. As long as she was conscious, she would never agree. Once she loses her consciousness, she won't be able swallow.

Sakura stirred and whimper. Her chest was rising and falling and it looked as if it was a huge effort for her body. He shifted, no, he crawled closer, closing her arms around her. She didn't even react anymore.

He tightened the grip and buried his face into the hair at her nape. If only holding her like that could preserve her for him... If only they could stay like that forever...

He ran fingers across her stomach - she was still there. Still there. Tips of his fingers stroke her skin.

And fell into nothingness. Madara jerked. Wild-eyed he stared at the place where Sakura used to be a moment ago, his mind attempting to compute what had just happened.

Only for moment thought. He felt a powerful, violent pull and hundreds of lights flickered under his eyelids. When he opened his eyes, he was lying on the soft grass of Shikkotsu Forest. He turned, frantically looking around - Sakura was next to him, Katsuyu clone leaning already over her.

"Thank all the gods, Katsuyu..." he whispered and passed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, and please do share your impressions with me! The feedback that this fic is getting really keeps me going!


	17. Chapter 17

"Madara-sama! Madara-sama, please wake up!"

Something prodded at his cheek and Madara patted it away. Whatever it was, it was unpleasantly cold and wet. A split of second later, the synapses in his brain fired the connection and he jerked, sitting up.

Or at least he tried to. His movement were sluggish and limited by the weakness in his limbs.

A middle-sized clone of Katsuyu was to his right.

"Madara-sama, we need your help. She won't eat on her own, and we cannot feed her…" Madara turned around. Sakura was lying splayed on her back. Under the gentle sun of Shikkotsu she looked as if she was transparent.

Madara scrambled on all fours. "This?" he pointed to the small assortment of fruit lying next to Sakura.

Food. It was food.

He grabbed at the nearest, red cherry-like fruit and shove it into his mouth.

The slug lunged at him. "Don't swallow it!"

Madara sent Katsuyu a confused look. "Why not?" he asked with his mouth full. Now that he saw food, he couldn't control the urge to eat…

"You cannot handle solid food yet. Just chew on it, suck the juice and spit it out. There is sugar in it, it will make you stronger."

Obediently, Madara chewed at the fruit. There was no way it was so sweet, but his taste buds were running rampant sending all kind of signals into his brain. As if it was the best thing he had ever eaten.

"And how I should feed her this? Wouldn't rice be better? Rice overcooked into a loose porridge? I can try summoning and…"

"With all due respect, Madara-sama… I don't think you can summon anything now… Try squishing the fruit in your hands and feeding her the juice…"

Madara crawled towards Sakura's unconscious form and hoisted her up so that she was propped against him. Katsuyu's smallest clone busied herself with rolling fruit into his range. He grabbed a yellow, strawberry-like one.

"Sakura. Sakura, wake up." He shook her gently. "There is food. Open your mouth."

She only whimpered in response. Madara pried her teeth open with his thumb and lowering his closed hand to her lips, he squeezed. Couple of drops of juice trickled into her mouth. He squeezed harder. Droplets ran down his wrist. Frustrated, he jammed the fruit into his mouth and grabbed another, bigger one. That one was juicier and a small squirt landed inside Sakura's mouth. She stirred and swallowed.

Madara let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"Just like that," he whispered. "Now a little bit more…"

Another Katsuyu and two clones of Noybu appeared from the forest pushing another dozen of fruit in front of them.

He squeezed half of what they brought – Sakura managed to swallow only smallest fraction of it. He tore a strip of his – now hers – shirt and bundling fruit inside used it to press out the juice. Drops of liquid were gathering at the bottom of the bundle and it was easier to maneuver them into her mouth.

"We need something more efficient. This way it will take ages, and she will die of hunger here, surrounded by food!" he yelled at the slugs.

"But that should be slow. Overfeeding is also dangerous! You both should eat very little at the time, to give your bodies time to re-adjust. But we are working on better solutions." Katsuyu undulated her tentacles. "They should be here soon."

Indeed, an hour later, which he spent dozing off with Sakura in his lap, three slugs appeared rolling strange, round nuts. Their exterior was wooden but covered with fibers in the same time, and Madara had never seen anything like that in his life.

"Here!" said Katsuyu. "Those have reservoirs of liquid inside. It will be just fine for you, not too sweet, and it has exactly what your bodies need. It will balance the sugar you get from the juice. But we cannot crack it…" she finished timidly. "They are too hard for us… But if you puncture them here," Katsuyu pointed to three small, round indentations at one end of the nut, "you can pour the liquid out."

Drilling those damn holes with his kunai was one of the most exhausting tasks he had to perform in his life. But when he succeeded and took a first swig on the transparent, mildly fragrant liquid, Madara deemed it worth the effort. When he lowered the nut to Sakura's lips, she came around enough to drink without choking.

He spent entire day alternately dozing off, and gnawing at a fresh supply of fruit while trying to feed some to Sakura. He had to undress her, as Katsuyu required direct access to do some healing on Sakura's digestive tract. He could count all the ribs on her. Her arms and lower legs were burnt unhealthy red from the sun of that damned dimension. Rest of her was ghastly pale.

In the evening she came to her senses enough to recognize Katsuyu.

He wanted to make fire, but the timber the slugs have dragged from the forest was all moist, half rotten and slimy. Katsuyu had apparently not the slightest clue about what made a good firewood. He politely refrained from pointing that out. Summoning their own firewood was out of question, as was performing even the simplest Katon technique. In the end they resorted to covering themselves with oversized leaves, also brought by the slugs, to stave off the coolness of the night. It was a far cry from the usual level of comfort but still, it was the first night he fell asleep without a worry, with Sakura snuggled to his chest and crickets chirping up in the trees.

The next day Sakura chewed on the fruit on her own and he spent his time drilling holes in those bloody nuts.

On the following day, he managed to summon basic cooking utensils – luckily, they were stored in the first-layer scroll - and set off to cook their cured deer meat into some form of broth. After three hours of slow simmering, when all the meat had disintegrated, he got Katsuyu's permission to feed some of it to Sakura.

"So. How many days have passed in Shikkotsu since we've been gone?" asked Sakura the next day. She was already strong enough to sit on her own and Madara found that his breathing became lighter, as if a huge weight had been taken off his chest.

"Some two weeks," answered the slug.

"Oh, Katsuyu-sama, why didn't you summon us earlier?!" exclaimed Sakura. "What kept you so long?!"

Madara shook his head. Sakura could have kept this comment to herself. Katsuyu is only bound to feel guilty, which she shouldn't.

"Well, I thought that you needed some time alone for your activities…"

"What activities?" asked Madara from over the today's fourth nut. This one was proving to be particularly resistant to drilling.

"I don't know how to call it… Your non-reproductive activities… Sakura told me that humans need privacy for it and therefore I didn't want to interrupt you…"

Madara raised his head. Very slowly. As the recognition of what the slug meant had dawned on him, he turned his head to Sakura. She promptly cowered and pulled her head between her shoulders.

_'_ _What?'_ he mouthed at her. She cowered some more. Madara pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers and took a deep breath.

"Your concern is much appreciated, but I assure you, Katsuyu-san, that we have enough time for that in the dimensions outside of your range," he answered trying to keep his tone as even as possible. What other topics had Sakura been discussing with Katsuyu…? Sakura was trying to look as small and unassuming as possible, and he couldn't just demand explanations with all the slugs coming and going around their camp. Madara sighed heavily and returned his attention to the nut. He was going to open the damn thing.

* * *

She was regaining strength. The veins on her forearms that were so visible a week ago were starting to disappear. Her chakra was back as well – still as a tiny, fragile flame, but it was there.

They moved from the riverbank to their 'home-cave' a week after the rescue, Madara walking, she – riding a slug. Some days ago, when Katsuyu and Madara were gone, she dared to stand up, and, propping herself against the wall of the cave, made couple of steps. It was harrowing, especially the return to bed, but it was a beginning. Since then she was making a steady progress. She could now get up and walk. Sakura rolled stones of different sizes towards the bed and was training lifting them tens and hundreds of times up and down. And she was eating. For the first couple of days Katsuyu allowed them only liquids, but from then on, when Sakura's stomach supported with Katsuyu's healing started to work normally, Sakura had impression she was eating all the time.

Having still too little chakra to train properly Sakura amused herself with playing with natural energy. She could handle only minute amounts of it, but it didn't matter – she was fiddling with control and it worked even better in a small scale. Two days ago, she realized that she could simultaneously gather and expel the energy. She was sucking it in with her left palm and emitting it from her right. The propulsion generated by the flow was making her hand float over the ground, as if propped on an invisible cushion. Yesterday, Sakura noticed that if she neared her right hand to an object light enough, she could move it without touching. It made her all giddy – she spent entire evening testing what was she able to move and what not, and perfecting the angles to make the objects shift where she wanted them to.

She played with pushing things some more during her training session earlier today. But now, a new idea came to her mind – maybe she could control the shape of the energy-stream that she was expelling? Sakura ejected the natural energy from her palm and tentatively tried wrapping it around a spoon lying on the table next to the bed. Nothing happened. Sakura hummed to herself – at what stage it didn't work? Was she unable to wrap it, or was the energy output too small to move the spoon? She had no idea. Sakura scrunched her eyebrows – she needed a source of immediate feedback if she wanted to achieve anything. Scanning the inside of the cave, Sakura was thinking. Ha! Her own body could provide her a feedback loop! In two decisive steps she reached the bed, took off her sandals and stretched her legs across the mattress. She sat up and neared her right hand to her leg. Concentrating on the small current of energy coming out of her palm, Sakura wrapped it around her own toe. And she almost jumped at the sensation – it felt like a small tentacle sliding across her skin. Sakura focused harder. Sweat pearled on her forehead – maybe she should stop now, she wasn't quite fit yet. But it was too thrilling, just one small try! She tightened her grasp on the natural energy and pulled. Her toe budged. A shriek of triumph tore out of her mouth.

She was breathless, sweaty and absolutely spent when she let herself fall on the mattress.

Discovering the new way to use natural energy was a feat she will cherish as one of her greatest accomplishment, of that she was sure. Slugs never even mentioned that as an option. It could be that no one had ever phantomed such a use of it! The possibilities it opened! Sakura's head almost spun. And additionally, even if she was still physically weak, it meant that she could do something useful with her time. She wasn't being a dead weight again.

Sakura stretched across the bed. She had it all for herself, as Madara regained his strength much faster and left to their home dimension couple of days ago. They had lost quite some scrolls, leaving them behind in the chakraless world. Luckily, they made a selection, and the lost ones contained items that were either expendable or replaceable. For most part. Sakura only recently started to go through her register and assess the real extend of the loses.

Their timber and most of the fresh food got left behind. Therefore, Madara was back home, probably dismantling the fisher village into firewood. Sakura didn't even ask him not to do it when he was about to leave. It made no sense to spare the little village, and harvesting timber from it Madara will save a lot of chakra he would otherwise use up flying Susano'o around. He was still low on chakra, and she was too weak to patch up the leak in his system.

The deer meat and the smoked fish stocks were lost. Deer he will hunt down again, but the fish were really gone… Pity, he liked that fish so much. Luckily, they still had their stock of rice – that would have been impossible to replace.

Sakura rolled over the side and opened her supply register. Hmm, scroll 11 contained two subscrolls with all the warm clothing, spare blankets, bed covers and such. Sakura cringed – finding undamaged textiles three years after the war was going to be very difficult. They would need to find an intact building in which rainwater never found access. In the Wind Country maybe? Suna was thoroughly scavenged already, but in one of the non-ninja villages? Wind Country was famous for its textiles, and the nights on the desert were very cold, so maybe there was still a hope for some new blankets.

Sakura wrapped the softest blanket from the bed around her shoulders and snuggled her cheek against it. It felt so nice. It felt good to stretch on a futon (she congratulated herself the decision of moving the beds from the fisher village), it felt good to brush her hair in the morning. The food tasted like it never tasted before. Even now, when the direct effect of starvation _must_ have been gone, it still tastes divine.

Over the past three years she was so preoccupated with their quest that she made a habit out of ignoring all input from her senses. She ate because she needed to fill her stomach, she covered herself because she needed to keep warm. Now, when she had almost lost it all, Sakura was realizing the value of things she used to take for granted. She was still alive. It was a blessing. Every day she was allowed to wake up and _live._ Live without any physical pain, without any debilitating condition, move around on her own, make decisions.

She had been so overwhelmed by the weight of responsibility, by the constant worry, by the guilt she felt about being awake while others were not, that she had forgotten how it felt to be alive. But wasn't her lack of appreciation an act of ungratefulness? She didn't deserve it, she never did anything to deserve being spared of the horrible fate of being absorbed by the tree, but still – here she was. Alive. Unharmed. She should be thankful for every breath she could take. She should be happy.

And today, she was.

Sakura opened a third-layer food scroll and unsealed a packet of dried fruit from Suna. They were sweet and tangy in the same time, and so chewy.

She ran her fingers across the blanket on her lap, and then lower, across the skin of her thigh.

Almost dying had opened her eyes. She _wanted_ to be alive.

She brushed her hand across her stomach. Pity that Madara was away.

* * *

The flow of his katas was satisfactory. Still not on par with his normal standards, but Madara was realistic. He could feel the pleasant pain in his arms, a tell-tale sign of muscle growth, and the steady beat of his pulse. Stretched on the grassy riverbank he was enjoying the afternoon sun.

He had just returned from their homeworld, having spent two weeks scavenging. He discovered a coastal city, untouched by Jūbi-bombs, on the southern tip of that peninsula that had been annexed into Fire Country around the time of Konoha foundation. He didn't check on the status of the still surviving cocoons around the tree. On purpose. Sakura had asked about it already, and this way he could with all honesty say that he didn't know. She needed a couple of carefree days more.

He saw her descending the slope. Slowly, as if she was still not stable on her feet. Or maybe she was just enjoying the sun on her skin, after weeks in the cave. He was carrying her out whenever he could, but at first the effort was too large, and then he was off.

She approached the water and gingerly stepped into it. She was wearing an overly large T-shirt that was hanging on her like a dress. She waded calves-deep, and then, apparently getting accustomed to the temperature – knees-deep. Submerging even deeper she lifted the hem of the shirt to protect it from water. From the bank he was lying on – drying in the sun after this own dip in the river - Madara could very well distinguish the curve of her behind.

She gathered the shirt under her breasts and stepped deeper still. Not much was left to imagination and he could only stare. Moment later the current pushed her out of her balance, and turning, she noticed him.

He didn't know what was he expecting. They were past the point where he would earn an outburst of her anger getting caught watching. And it wasn't that he was purposely peeping on her – he was here all the time, minding his own business. It was her who failed to notice him. Anyway, even if he'd known he was going to be subject to her anger, he wouldn't have budged, as that would have been below him. So, he kept her gaze and smirked. At this point he expected her to glare, turn around and return to the other side. She didn't. She didn't turn, and, facing him, started to wade out of the water, approaching the bank he was lying on.

She was half way out of the water, and still she didn't let her shirt down. Maybe she didn't want it to get wet. He had seen her before; she wasn't a novelty. And two years ago she looked much better than now – emaciated and with hip bones much too visible. But now she was looking at him, running her eyes over all of him, with such an expression on her face… Madara's cock twitched.

Sakura stepped onto the grass, and all he could see was the gentle sway in her gait. A sway he would swear wasn't usually there.

She was just meters away from him. "Are you really so happy to see me?" she laughed tilting her head and nodding towards the lower part of his body. He was naked, so there was no denying. Madara smiled and only shrugged in reply.

She knelt at his side, at the height of his waist. Her shirt cascade down, getting plastered to her back, as she let go of it and propped herself against his hips. She lowered her head and enveloped the tip of his rapidly hardening cock with her lips. "It's such a good feeling when someone is happy at your sight…" she mused and dove lower once again. "It's an amazing feeling to know that someone wants you… It makes my head spin," she said between the licks.

He didn't answer. It felt too good.

She worked him up and down, tightening her lips around him and doing some peculiar things with her tongue. Or at least he assumed it was her tongue.

It was so long. It was too long, and he was sure he was going to lose her. That he was going to watch her die. But now she was here. They both were – safe and alive, and still together.

And now she came to him.

Sakura dug her fingers of her left hand into his hip, as she stroked him slowly. The rhythmic caress of her lips was driving him crazy already, and she only just started.

She moved her knees away from him, and leaned so that she wasn't kneeling anymore, but rather staying on all fours beside him. It seemed that it was easier for her to move that way. But her maneuvers exposed her naked behind once again. He reached to her, slid his hand around her bottom and reached her heat. He traced gentle touches between her nether lips. She was all wet there, and it wasn't the wetness of the water, he concluded with joy. If that wasn't a proof of desire than nothing was.

He couldn't reach her properly, he could neither caress her most sensitive part, nor press against her crotch with the heel of his palm the way she liked it. He could only prod awkwardly from behind. If he could pump his fingers into her, now it would have been a perfect opportunity. But he couldn't. _'Don't put anything in there,'_ she had told him once. And he won't. So, he kept touching where and how he could, even though it wasn't very satisfying. There indeed must have been not much pleasure in it for her, as Sakura whimpered and shifted, aligning her body with his, moving her backside closer into his reach. She arched her back – apparently, she wanted to be touched as badly as he wanted to do the touching. If he tilted his head, he could see her, in all her glory, so eager for his caresses as never before. But still, he couldn't touch her the way he wanted to.

Sakura nibbled at his tip and slowly guided him into her mouth. She was moving back and forth and for a moment Madara got so lost in the sensation that he forgot about his tasks. She was about to reach just the perfect speed, when she abruptly stopped and straightened up. Madara looked up - with irritated huff, Sakura tugged at her shirt and pulled it off. Being as baggy as it was it must have been in her way - a part of Madara's brain supplied. A very small part, as most of his mental capacities was used up on staring.

She leaned down again - the curve of her breasts, the roundness of her bottom, the glistening slickness between her legs – all on display.

He didn't hold it - he must have shut down his thinking at that very moment. He grabbed her leg and dragged her on top of himself. With more force than was probably necessary he pulled her bottom towards his face. Sakura straightened with a scared yelp and knelt up, effectively leaving his range. Holding her balance with one hand splayed on his stomach, she turned around. Her mouth was open as she gasped for air, her pupils so dilated that her eyes seemed dark. He could see how her chest heaved when she was taking one huge breath after another.

All words were lost on him. He raised his hands and stroked slowly along the outer side of her thighs. Her eyes, locked with his own, went even bigger. He could feel how the muscles in her legs relaxed underneath his hands as she slowly lowered herself back down. She planted both hands on the ground, apparently apprehensive for him to take action. He pulled at her thighs again, set her core into a rocking, undulating motion, not creating any contact between them just yet. He forced her pelvis into yet another circle – she joined it, gyrated her hips and arched her back. A small whimper was both a sign of her need and of her agreement.

Madara let his hands slide to the inner side of her legs, and then higher towards her core. She was moving above him on her own. As carefully as he could manage, he spread her folds, and, meeting her rhythm, he licked along the entire length of her slit. Sakura gasped and pressed into his mouth. He repeated the motion, tasting her, exploring her folds. Then he pushed her hips higher to gain more access and closed his lips around her bud. Sakura's chest landed across his lower stomach as she didn't manage to hold herself up on her hands.

He sucked and nibbled and teased, and he couldn't get enough of the feel of her overheated skin against him and of the sounds she was making.

But it didn't last long. Sakura propped herself up again and somehow managed to free one hand to grab his length. Her mouth closing around him made Madara lose his focus.

It was pure chaos from then on. A blur of emotions and sensations he couldn't make sense of. Erratic push and pull, his hips bucking into her heat, her smell and taste enveloping his senses, the bliss amplified to ridiculous heights by the consciousness that the quivering body of top of him belonged to her. And that she was experiencing the same pleasure as he was.

Madara dug his fingers into the flesh of her hip. Too hard, he knew it was too hard. But keeping everything balanced on the knife's edge was impossible in this moment. He slid his other hand to her front and replaced his mouth with fingers on her bud. He licked towards her core, where her entrance was twitching directly before his eyes. Sakura closed her lips tighter and muted her moan with his cock. He licked a circle around her opening and felt how she let go of him to prop herself with both hands against the ground. But she kept him inside her mouth – and instead of releasing him she dove deeper than ever before.

Her entrance was open to him. Nothing in her offered resistance. She was all invitation and desire blended into one. Madara ran his tongue deeper. Sakura's hand found his cock again and she resumed the pumping.

He must have forgotten. In retrospect he could even somewhat understand his behaviour. Not that it was any excuse. He didn't remember about anything when he plunged his tongue inside her. Her legs were open so wide and his face was pressed into her. And his tongue went deep. Sakura pushed herself up with a something between a gasp and inhale. He swirled his tongue and curled it and he _tasted_ her from the inside. She slammed against him and he kept going, touching her, touching _inside_ of her, pushing into her, locking her to him with the grip on her hip. With his other hand he squeezed and pinched her clit. Sakura came. She screamed and rode her orgasm against him, rocking her hips wildly.

He was on the edge, so close, so tortuously close. But in her rapture, she forgot him and left him unattended. He desperately needed something, anything… His hand left her clit and shot forwards, to his cock. Crushing her fingers that were still encircling him, he grabbed and pumped viciously, bucking his hips into their joined hands. His release exploded in seemingly never-ending spurts, splashing against her chest and her face.

When the blinding wave receded, all that was left were their panting breaths. Madara loosened up the hold on his cock and released Sakura's fingers. As if in panic, she squirmed forwards, first sat on his chest, but then quickly scrambled off him and turned away. He saw how she was simultaneously trying to massage her fingers and wipe his spunk from her face. And tried preventing him from seeing either of these actions.

"I guess…" she said, her voice faltering, "I guess, I'll go wash up a bit…" She stood up, carefully maneuvering to present only her back to him.

While she was making her way towards the river, he grabbed his pants and stood up as well. His hands were shaking when he was lacing himself in. How could he have done that? How could he betray her trust this way? It took all of his will power not to punch the nearest tree into splinters.

He dug in his pouch for scrolls, unsealed the correct one and retrieved a blanket. Folding it into a neat square he placed it where she was likely to leave the river. She will need something to dry herself off, it was getting cool already. With the corner of his eye he saw her bending and washing something out of her hair. Not something. He knew exactly what it was. Red, burning shame made him avert his eyes. Disgusting. He was disgusting. How could he have lost his control to this extend? What had happened to him? What _was_ happening to him?

Madara pursed his lips and walked briskly into the forest hoping that the foliage will hide him soon enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, and I'm super curious about your impressions! *wink, wink* Please, do share them with me! After the angst of the previous chapter, it felt so good to give them some repose, and I hope you enjoyed reading it as well.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TLOS got 2 new fanarts!
> 
> Illustration to Chapter 16 by J_wunwun. Actually it doesn't picture the content of the chapter, but uhm.. Madara's fantasy that was briefly described in Ch16. Careful with clicking though, the art is very, very nsfw (seriously, do me and yourself a favour and don't click if you're under 18): https://twitter.com/j_wunwun/status/1295348751775797249  
> A comic to Chapter 17 by Amusl02: https://amusl02.tumblr.com/post/627008963843702784/my-first-madasaku-fanart-and-its-from-the-last
> 
> Thank you so much J_wunwun and Amosl02!

When she left the river, he was gone. Was she in for so long? She dried herself off with the blanket he had left and went home. She needed to laugh a bit at his blunder – as he left her the blanket and was gone himself, she now had to carry it through the current. Of course, it got wet – she wasn't trying water-walking yet.

But then he didn't return for the supper and Nyobu clones that brought her fresh supply of fruit told her that he left the dimension. She couldn't sleep the entire night double- and triple-guessing his reasons. It must have had to do with their encounter, had he had new intel or a new idea about their itinerary, he would have shared it with her.

That what happened by the river… Well. It was surprising. And yes, the very end startled her. How could it not? And she ran to the water because she really needed to wash up. But… Should she have stayed? Did he now think she was angry? Was he angry? Probably he was, he was often angry, in that weird, self-digesting way. Sakura could never understand why men reacted with anger to most of the problems. Or maybe she wasn't the one the criticize – she kept punching Naruto and even poor Sai for every misstep. But she wasn't really _angry_ with them at those occasions. It was more like… not knowing how to get her message through. Maybe he was doing the same. But she hated his way of showing anger – not saying anything for days. Like at the very beginning, when he was processing the real role he had played in the Tsukuyomi. She at least simply punched people – that was a very effective way to... reduce the distance..

Sakura sighted heavily and got out of the bed. He won't come back tonight, she should better put that stew back to the pot, she thought scraping out the content of the bowl.

The sleep was even further away afterwards so she went out and sat at the mouth of the cave staring at the violetish moon of Shikkotsu. Why did it have to go so awry? It was beautiful, what happened down there, she thought looking at the grassy bank. Sure, she wasn't planning for that, she never imagined exactly such a… spatial arrangement… She was blushing even at the recollection. She just had thought they would do it as usually. And maybe that… Maybe that it would just flow, morph into something else and they would follow wherever the current would take them.

Well, it led to what it led. It didn't really matter. And it didn't matter what exactly he'd done there, between her legs. What mattered was that it had been together. And they had fallen into a resonance. It was what was making her head spin even now – that someone wanted her, and every aspect of her. His drawings showed her that much, but today, his actions had had her experience it first-hand. She never expected to receive that, from anyone. The thorn of Sasuke's rejections was lodged too deep in her heart. She always thought that she would be the one offering unconditional love. Now she was receiving it. Her heart would have been swelling from joy had it not been for the fact that Madara was gone.

* * *

He was back the following afternoon though. He strode up the slope in a brisk manner.

"Do you want to continue the search?" Were his first words, before she managed to say anything. And she had so much to say. But when she nodded in an answer, he flooded her with a barrage of questions. "Even knowing the new risks? We can get stuck in another one. Or in a far worse place. I calculated the chances: so far it was one chakraless dimnesion out of five thousands. Do you want to take this risk? Is it worth it to you?"

Sakura blinked her eyes, confused. "Worth? Yes! Of course, it is!"

"Are you fit enough to start healing me on regular basis?"

"I think so…"

"Good. Then we should start organizing for the next branch. Because I am of a firm opinion that we should skip the left branch for now. We still have two others to check. We should avoid that region branch all together. Gods know if there isn't a cluster of those chakraless worlds there…"

Sakura's head spun. He was providing so much information at once, expecting her decisions, demanding her answers before she could voice the questions _she_ wanted to ask… "Yes…" she said pressing fingers to her temples. "Yes, skipping the left branch is a good idea… But…"

"Then why don't you think about re-packing us?" Madara opened a storage scroll. "We need to be prepared for the eventuality of another trap. Put light-weight yet calory-rich food and necessary equipment into those." He handed her two backpacks. "As much as we can carry. And don't try to play a hero and put heavier stuff into mine, alright?"

Slightly stunned Sakura accepted the backpacks pushed into her hands. Madara turned and headed towards the river.

"Wait! Where are you going?"

"I have a lot of meat to process."

Sakura rubbed her forehead. "Why the hurry all of a sudden?"

Madara halted but didn't turn back to her. "You asked about the tree yesterday. I went to check."

Sakura gulped. She knew what the pause in his voice meant. Fear constricted her throat like a garotte. "How… How many are left?"

"Couple of hundreds. Maybe a thousand."

Her hands were shaking when she was unsealing and re-sealing all kinds of supplies. Who was still there? Tsunade-sama for sure. Yamato-sensei? Choza-san? Hinata's father? Will… will Hinata be between that thousand? Will Shikamaru? Ino… Sakura rubbed her eyes. Ino never had that much chakra, even her Mind Transfer Jutsu was always taking a heavy toll on her. During the war she connected to the entire Alliance, the chakra-drainage must have been enormous.

She never found Ino. Sakura knew it was impossible, and would have been a waste of a precious time. But she never tried. Maybe she should have had. They won't make it in time – she saw it clearly now. She still didn't quite internalize it, but the thought was there.

Maybe instead of disembarking into another hopeless mission it would have been better to find Ino and sit with her and chat. Remember the good times. Reminiscence how their friendship started, back in the pre-school, their idiotic bickering over Sasuke, the Academy times… This good dozen of missions they completed together… Tenten's birthday when…

No. It wouldn't have been better. And they still had a chance, as slim as it was. Sakura looked at the scrolls lying in disarray around her. She was completely ineffective about it; she needed a clearer head to strategically choose the supplies they will carry in the backpacks... She got up and went to get some fresh air. To her right she could see the place Madara chose to prepare the meat. She averted her eyes. He brought what looked like ten deer. Approximately. Sakura couldn't really tell, because they were already in pieces. He was kneeling in a pond of half-congealed blood and she could feel the stink even up where she was standing.

When he came back in the evening he reeked of blood and innards so much that she sent him out to wash up the moment he crossed the threshold. She must have fallen asleep before he came back.

They set off the next day.

* * *

She pushed them through a dimension after dimension quicker than they should have had been moving considering their health. It took her entire Katsuyu range and some dimensions after it to calm down and realize that they need to take it slower. The nerves were raging in her, but Sakura forced herself to remember their routine. They could only do as much as they could. Nothing good would come out of dying of chakra exhaustion somewhere in a far-away world.

How easy it was to forget the harsh lesson of the near-starvation. Sitting by the fire, Sakura tried recalling the mindset she had reached back in Shikkotsu. The constant anxiety that she was experiencing didn't change the fact she was alive. She should cherish it. She should count her blessings. And blessed she was.

She crawled between Madara's legs. That was normally the time when she would turn around, but what they had done the last time had changed a lot.

So, instead of turning around she straddled his thigh and propped hands on his hips. She could already feel the heat pooling between her legs. Sakura peeked up at him. "Uhm… can we do it, like, simultaneously? Can you touch me when I…?" She didn't finish, but bit into her lip, "You know…" She was still a bit shy with the wording. But he would understand her, no doubts about that. Without waiting for his answer, she started loosening up the lacing of his trousers.

Madara pried her hands away. "No."

She jerked her head up. "What no?"

"No, we cannot do it simultaneously." His tone was verging on sarcasm, as if he was explaining something to a very silly child.

"Why?" Sakura furrowed her brows in a lack of comprehension. And in irritation. She didn't like that tone.

"Because I don't want you to do it for me anymore."

As in a slow motion, she moved her hands away and straightened up. "Why?" she repeated, blood draining from her face. "What's wrong?" She hated how this word felt on her tongue. How could anything be 'wrong'? Everything was going so well!

"I don't want it anymore. I can still do you, if that's that necessary for your functioning. Turn around if you want."

"What!? No!" His leg lodged between her thighs suddenly felt like an intruding object.

Madara shrugged. "Then don't." He grabbed Sakura by the waist and moved her to her bedroll.

She plopped on her ass and scrambled up immediately. All logical thought was gone from her head, replaced by rising panic. "Madara. What is it? What happened? Why all of the sudden?"

"I changed my mind."

"You changed _your mind_?! Why? What did I do wrong?!" Madara laid down and covered himself with the blanket more snugly. Sakura shook him, but to no avail. "Tell me what's wrong! Why are you pushing me away? Talk to me!"

"There's nothing to talk about. Either you want to or you don't. You don't expect me to do it if I don't feel like "it", do you?"

She located his arm and forcefully pulled him up. He must have not anticipated the chakra-induced strength, so with the element of surprise she managed to get him up. "No. We _will_ talk."

Madara tilted his head. "We'll see about that."

Sakura's pulse sped up. Something was very, very wrong. It was a repetition of her worst nightmares – not only rejection but being confronted with a wall, a wall of silence that was not letting her through. Not again. Gods, please not again...

She knew how it would go – she would talk and talk and plead and she would get only silence. She would make up hundreds of paranoid scenarios and drive herself insane. It was always like that. It was always like that with Sasuke.

"Don't. Shut. Me. Down. Tell me why are you acting strange all of a sudden!"

"This thing is getting out of control. And it has to stop."

Sakura fell silent. She never thought of those things as of an area one could, or should, control. She always thought it was a decision. Like a jump into a deep water, like a step off a precipice. Not something you would need to actively rein in with your self-control. "And what is wrong with that?"

"I am afraid that I won't be able to keep myself in check."

So that was what he was doing all the time? Controlling himself? And now he couldn't? Should she be flattered?

"I've already done something I shouldn't have," he continued. "And I regret it. You have my apology for that."

Sakura glimpsed up. He didn't look apologetic. Rather boiling with fury. Was it all that it was about? Was he feeling guilty? That she could handle. At least she hoped so. She extended her hand and grabbed his. He didn't withdraw it but he didn't reciprocate the grip either.

"About that… I don't mind. Really." She rubbed an uncertain circle with her thumb. "It… it just surprised me, that's all. But not in a bad way! And then you were gone. And then we needed to set off into this branch and we never got to talk about it… But I liked it! Even if we didn't discuss it beforehand… We probably should have had… But it sorts of happened and that's also fine."

"No. That's not fine."

"Why? Things happen sometimes."

"Not to me." He pried his hand out of hers.

"So that's it? You hate being out of control? Are you so scared of it? Only that?"

"It's a foul feeling to be out of control."

Sakura laughed bitterly. "Isn't it? Well, welcome to my life. I could never control anything in my life. Things were happening all around me and I had zero influence… You can survive a little bit of that," she added with a smile, trying to indicate she was quipping. He didn't get the joke. Or didn't find it funny.

"It's not about my likes and dislikes," He was still dead-serious. "We are not going any further with that, because it's not the best for you."  
Sakura balled her fists. She was trying, she really was. But this kind of attitude was ticking her off like nothing else. "You don't get to say what is good for me and what's not! This is my life! My choices! I make them!"

"And I make mine. You're not touching me again."

Sakura cried herself to sleep. Like years ago, on the first branch, all alone in her bedroll.

* * *

The travel up the branch was almost unbearable. They slept separately. They didn't talk. Gone were even casual touches when Sakura would prop her back against him while filling her logbook, or press her feet under his legs when they were getting cold.

Sakura was trying to distract herself with training – she was rebuilding her strength both with traditional exercise and through prodding the metabolism of her muscle cells with chakra. But all the stiffness and familiar pain of freshly trained muscles couldn't make up for the lack of touch against her skin.

The silence hung heavy between them. Not that the silence in itself was something rare – they never talked that much. At first it had been the silence between the strangers, later, the silence between people who had been comfortable in each other's presence not to have to talk the time away. But now the silence between them was that of rejection and lack of rapport.

The awareness that every jump could send them into a deadly chakraless trap wasn't helping Sakura's mental state either. Neither was the ever-present ticking clock. Or maybe the clock wasn't ticking anymore. Maybe it had already stopped. Maybe everyone was gone already.

When they reached the end of the branch - quickly, after 351 dimensions – Sakura, instead of disappointment, felt a strange relief. Four out of six directions were completed. Of course, she couldn't exclude that the two remaining ones weren't much longer, or infinite even, but that would have been a really bad luck. They managed to check two thirds of what they should have had. Would it make any difference for the deceased? For sure not. Only thing it could do was to soothe her guilt…

All of that made her decide to come back the same way they had come, skipping the search of the parallel branch. She had to face the truth sooner or later. She'd rather do it sooner. Sakura hated living in the suspense, she needed clarity at least on something in her life. Even if it was clarity of facing the end. Because all that Madara could do these day was to cultivate the silence between them.

They picked up their speed on the known track, as Madara could jump double and even triple distances when he knew what he was jumping into. No additional searches also sped the things up. They would be back home in less than a month and Sakura was finding out that the perspective of facing her greatest fear alone was too much to bear. She wasn't sleeping at all. The faces of her loved ones floated in the darkness whether she had her eyes closed or not. She wanted to cry, she wanted comfort. She _couldn't_ go through it alone.

She had to confront him again. She had to find a way to get through to him. Over the past weeks she tried talking to him, gently guiding the conversation onto the topic of 'them'. Only to be quickly served the same offer of satisfying her needs with an added statement that he, himself, had no wish for any interaction. She tried telling him that they can come back to what they did at the beginning, that the 'how' didn't matter to her as long as it was together. In vain.

She had to try again. But she didn't know how. And she was angry at herself for the lack of ability… Sakura searched her heart – she was also so angry at him for ruining it all, for not letting her in, for being just like… Oh, that comparison stung. That stung so badly that she didn't even want to dwell on it.

Anger… She rarely felt it. Maybe that was the answer? He was angry as well… How to get rid of anger between them? How was Naruto doing that when trying to get to Sasuke? She had to admit he had more successes in that than her.

"Are you angry?" she asked when they landed in a stony, barren dimension some hundred fifty jumps away from home.

Madara looked at her, surprised. "No?" he said. "Why would I be?"

"I don't mean now. I mean in general." There was no answer, she needed to prod him more. "All this branch long. Why are you acting this way?! Are you angry? Answer me!" she grabbed his elbow and shook him. "I cannot go on like this!"

He let her shake him. That surprised her.

"Yes. I am angry," he said quietly in the end.

"With me…?" she whispered. She could feel the thread, thin as gossamer at the tip of her fingers.

"Mostly with myself…"

"But with me as well… Right?" _Don't let go of the thread. Just don't let it slip!_

Madara looked to the side. "Not really with you. Rather with the circumstances that you are propagating. Don't… don't take it personally. It's nothing against you. I am primarily angry with myself."

The thread was between her fingers. "What can I do…?"

"Nothing, probably. You cannot change the disdain I feel for myself. You cannot break the Tsukuyomi, you cannot undo what I had orchestrated. You cannot reverse the time. _I_ cannot, so you even less so. There is nothing we can do."

So that was what it was about? He was keeping her at a distance because of the guilt he felt? Sakura gulped. "We cannot do anything about reality, that's true. But those are things you feel - we can do something with what you feel…" _Don't lose the thread!_

Madara shook his head. "Like what? Anger doesn't give way to mere explanations."

Sakura squared her shoulders. "Fight me."  
"What?"

"Fight me. When Sasuke and Naruto were mad at one another - they would fight it out."

"I'm not angry at you, I've told you already."

"I've heard. Yet I'm the only one here. Fight me."

"Out of the question."

"Why?"

"Last time we sparred I broke your arm. Sparring."

Sakura's eyes flared. "Exactly. That was sparring. Do you presume you are the only one with jutsu?"

"You can't be serious. I took on the entire Shinobi Alliance."

"As an Edo Tensei."

Madara rolled his eyes.

Something inside Sakura snapped. "Don't do that! Don't make such faces at me! At the very least: don't dismiss what I'm saying." She took a deep, calming breath. "You have a rip in your system. You have eyes that aren't even your own."

"Not much of a novelty for me."

"That you've never used in combat. I have Senjutsu. Fight me."

"Stop that."

"Am I so unworthy to you?"

"Stop that."

"Then why? You never say anything, never explain, you just push me away! I'm sick and tired of it! You know what? I am angry as well! If you are unable to talk then get what is bothering you out of your system through action. Let me at least be of some help to you!"

"By being my punching bag?"

"Maybe I won't be a punching bag?"

"You don't get it. I just cannot raise hand against you. I wouldn't be able even if I tried. I cannot hurt you."

"I'm not that fragile."

"Still. I see you and my hand stops. I cannot do it."

"Alright. And like that?" Sakura weaved a quick sequence of hand seals. With a puff of smoke, she transformed. She saw the corners of Madara's mouth lifting slightly. Did she do it alright? She had seen Shodai as an Edo Tensei only…

"Nice try," said Madara. "But he wasn't that tall. And skin is a wrong shade. But more importantly, he doesn't set me off, not anymore. He rather reminds me of about all the mistakes I've made. About all that led me here…"

Sakura crossed her fingers in a Ram seal again. "And like that?"

Ash-grey robes down the earth. Ash-grey hair dragging on the ground. Byakugan. Sharp and beautiful, yet so alien face. And a freakish red eye in the middle of her forehead.

"What is _this_?" asked Madara thickly.

"This is the rabbit goddess," her voice was changed. Sakura didn't remember how the rabbit bitch sounded, but surely, she shouldn't be using her own voice. "That's the real reason why we're here. Not you. Not your mistakes. Her. Fight her."

She raised her hands and pointed open palms in his direction. Natural energy rose from the ground in thick ropes. "Fight me."

She focused the chakra into her palms. She could do it. She spent weeks maneuvering chakra during her rehabilitation. She could now grab an object and fling it without touching. She could hold her ground against Madara. For a while. Hopefully for a long enough while.

"Fight me. I won't hold back." She let the spheres of chakra rotate before her palms. "Fight me."

Madara narrowed his eyes.

"The henge will be the first to drop, before you can really hurt me. You will know when it's over," she added. Seal of Byakugo crawled across Sakura's cheeks. With the familiar burn enveloping her limbs she felt a bit more secure. "You've cut my shishou in half and yet she lived. Do you think it is easier to hurt me? Fight me. Get it out of your system." She saw him hesitating. "This is not care that you're showing me now. This is disrespect," she yelled at him. The not-her-own voice rang bizarrely in her ears. "You disrespect me now and you disrespect me presuming to know what is good for me!"

She barely managed to redirect the shield of natural energy before the punch came. But she managed. She stumbled couple of steps, but stood her ground. Another punch. Fast. He was fast. She dodged – muscle memory of a trained battlefield medic doing the job for her.

Sakura let her reflexes deal with his kicks – so far, he landed only one, to her side and broke her rib – and concentrated on the ropes of natural energy. This time it would be different than their spars. This time she will attack.

Her body bent to avoid his fist. Sakura pushed a rope of natural energy into his torso. She saw how she knocked the air out of his lungs. He landed, coughed and charged at her again. From that distance he was an easy target – she sent him rolling back again. When he raised his eyes to her, there was calculation in them.

In a real battle on such sight she would have strategically retreated. Or rather ran for her life. Sakura widened her stance. Not this time. This time she was here to receive his anger.

He stood up and smiled, showing her his teeth. And took a step towards her. She sent one blast of natural energy after another. He side-stepped them all. Could he see them? Impossible! Another blast. He dodged. And entered her range. Now she was on the defensive again. Shit, shit, shit.

His Mangekyō was spinning. " _But Sharingan doesn't see natural energy, even I cannot 'see' it,_ " thought Sakura frantically trying to avoid the hits. " _My palms! He realized I send them straight from my palms!"_

Sweat ran down Sakura's spine. She needed to bend those ropes! The concentration it required was breathtaking and all that during the fight.

Another hit – to the side of her head. World went black for a split second. But the henge held, concluded Sakura picking herself up and seeing grey robe pooled around her legs. Madara was on her again. A blast of energy went out of her hand and she _felt_ it curving and hitting him where he least expected. She grinned, she simply had to.

That was probably a mistake. Blue armor materialized around Madara.

Susano'o swatted her like a fly and this time she didn't even try to par the blow.

She couldn't waste time evading – she had to attack. She directed both streams of energy to the breastplate of Susano'o.

As she thought – it wasn't resistant to natural energy! She pried the blue layers away as easily as she would tear through mesh armor with her chakra enhanced strength.

Susano'o flapped the wings and jolted back to hover above her. Shit. Now he was too far.

Next thing she saw was a blazing inferno raining down on her. The earth wall that she summoned cracked, hissed and smoked above her head. But the flames were normal, red. As expected - he wouldn't use Amaterasu against her. She would be offended if she wasn't relieved. Normal fire meant she could power through it. She dashed from her shelter and ran. The robes of henge didn't catch fire; her own did. She summoned a small Suiton technique simultaneously directing all the natural energy into her feet. If she expelled it fast enough, she could maybe lift herself above the ground?

He wasn't expecting to see her in the air. She tore a person-sized opening in Susano'o's left flank before he jumped back.

But then a blow sent her flying. Normally it would have been the impact with the ground that would have hurt, but this time it was the punch. Or the punch as well, as the impact with the surface probably hurt also. Probably. Because she must have lost consciousness again.

Through pain Sakura forced herself up. One more try. She could still manage one more attack.

Extending her hands forwards Sakura charged straight at Susano'o. She hoped she was able to multitask to this extent – her entire attention was on the cord of energy flying parallel to her.

A blow of sword. Dodge. Second sword. Why did this thing had to have four arms?! The natural energy penetrated Susano'o's side. Sakura grabbed the sword and held it. Just a moment more.

Too powerful. Much too powerful to hold. But no matter. She only needed a split of second more.

She wrapped the cord around Madara's ankle and pulled.

Still inside the Susano'o Madara crossed his fingers into a seal. Susanoo punched. Flying back Sakura pulled at the chakra rope with all her strength.

Stones met her a couple of seconds earlier than him. Out of the corner of her eye she saw how he twisted midair and landed on his feet. Not very gracefully, but he landed.

She didn't. This time she really broke something. The something being several ribs, pelvis and probably her spine as well. She couldn't quite tell through the nauseating pain.

The seal was already working through her, making her anew in a blur of burning agony. Sakura closed her eyes. Henge was gone, she could feel sharp gravel against her calves, unshielded by the robes. She wanted to turn her head, but she couldn't. What did get damaged there? All the muscles in her neck? Tendons? Gods, it hurt.

She heard him coming. But something was wrong with him as well, the steps were erratic. Was he limping?

"Come here…" she managed to lift her arm to him. Blood was flowing from the open wound in her palm – there where she was expelling the natural energy. With a sick curiosity she focused her eyes – there was a hole to see through in her hand… "I'll heal you… Just come closer…"

Madara knelt next to her. "Oh gods." She didn't like his face looking like this. She should hurry with that healing. She hated when he frowned this way.

"I'm fine. I'm all fine. The seal is mending me. Come lie with me, so it can heal you as well."

He complied; the frown still so prominent on his face. She couldn't roll to the side, so he laid on his stomach, half on the ground, half on her. She wound her arm around him and let the seal expand from her body to his. Then she must have dozed off.

"What are your injuries?" Sakura asked opening her eyes. It was already evening; double suns of this world were setting in unison behind a mountain ridge.

"Broken ankle and my left lung hurts. And I think I ripped several chakra nodes."

"Oh. Alright. I'm on it."

There wasn't much left of her chakra and she spent it all on him. She dozed off couple of times out of exhaustion but he held her all the time and waking up felt like the old bliss.

"Do you feel any better?" she asked.

"Yes. You fixed me."

"No. I meant… Are you still angry?"

"I don't know. I'm very tired. And I hate it that I've hurt you."

Maybe that was her boys' secret? Maybe if you run yourself half dead you don't have energy left for anger?

She wasn't angry at him either. All the resentment she felt for the ignoring and rejecting her had evaporated. Now she only wanted him close. No matter how.

But what he'd said… Sakura forced her mind to focus. That thing about not hurting her… Maybe it was the problem? "But you didn't hurt me. See, I'm here. You always think you're harming me but that's not true."

"There are other ways in which I harmed you. And will harm you still."

"What ways?"

"I took your life from you. I took every single of your loved ones from you. At the latest when we return to our world, you will hate me."

She would normally argue, deny, shout that it wasn't true. But now she heard him. Not only listened, but really heard. "I don't know how I will feel about you when I see everyone gone… I know that today I don't hate you," she offered the only truth that she had.

"I've seen people losing their loved ones. I've been through it myself. It changes people. After Izuna… I was never the same again. Even when I signed the truce, even after I founded the village. It wasn't the same between me and Hashirama."

She nodded into his chest. "No, it won't be the same. But what about forgiveness?"

"Maybe you will be able to grant it. Maybe not. Only time will tell."

She held him closer. "Only time will tell."

"That's why it would be very selfish to take that from you, even if you would have 'let it happen'".

This time Sakura's wiggled in his embrace to get a better look at his face. "By 'taking' you mean my… ehm… virginity?"

"Yes. Engaging it those activities with you, I've already done a huge disservice to you. Granted, our circumstances are extreme, but still… That was a disservice for you. Don't you want to save at least a fraction of your chastity for your marriage?

Sakura pressed both hands to the sides of his face. "Madara… Stop. And stop talking about it as if it was something that defines me. Times have changed, it's not that important anymore…"

"Alright." He paused. She could see that he was digesting what she just said. He seemed more open to her point of view than usual. "Alright. But don't you want to save something for someone you love? We'll find your teammate," he added when she failed to answer.

Sakura bit her lip. When he put it this way…

Did she love Sasuke? She supposed she did. That Sakura from three years prior did love Sasuke from three years prior. She hadn't seen him since, so how could she stop loving him in absentia? In absentia of which he wasn't guilty… It's not that he chose to abandon her. He was just ripped from her by the fate.

Her feelings towards Sasuke didn't change. How could they? On what basis?

Only that… they faded. They got smaller in comparison with all those great, big things that happened around her. And so much happened over the last three years. So many horrible things. So many… beautiful things as well, as wrong as it sounded. Her love to Sasuke wasn't very significant in all that… And as her love shrank, a space got freed in her heart.

Can you love two people at the same time? Was it even… _allowed_?

"And if we run out of options, we'll go to the honeycomb," said Madara rubbing a circle between her shoulder blades. "It's an entire world full of people. There will be someone there… I'm not robbing you of a chance to be with someone you love."

Did it hurt him to say that? It must have. His notebook was the ultimate evidence, but even without it… How could she not feel it? Somewhere, somewhen during those years together, it became so obvious, so natural that he loved her. It felt as if she knew since forever. Was he aware that she knew? There were very few things that escaped him, but maybe he didn't know that.

"It won't be robbing," said Sakura. "You won't be taking anything away from me. Rather… Having a chance to do it with someone that loves me…" Normally, she would be ashamed and self-conscious to voice such a claim. It would sound like bragging. And like encroaching on his privacy. But now... With all her heart Sakura hoped that he would appreciate her words. "I could never ask for more." She angled her head to look at him. He was so close that she couldn't really focus her eyesight on his features, so she nudged his cheek with her nose.

"You wouldn't ask for more because you value yourself too low. But you should ask for more. You should ask for everything. And as long as we are in this situation you don't have any other alternative than me. That is not a choice. I don't want that you to accept me due to mere lack of choice."

Sakura tightened her embrace. She didn't have a good answer for that. A moment ago, she hoped that her declaration will be enough. That her open arms will be enough. But apparently arms needed to be open for a right reason. "And what about you? You also never had choice when it came to me," was the only retort she could think of.

"Oh, but I had. I didn't have to love. I lived my entire life without it. I had a choice. And I don't want anything from you if it comes without it. It would eat me alive."

Sakura pressed her lips to his chest. A love confession. On a barren rocky ground tens of dimensions away from home, with all her loved ones dead and gone… A confession that wasn't a surprise in any way or form. Yet to hear it… She will cherish this moment for the rest her life. Even if it ultimately meant rejection.

She wasn't going to fight his convictions. He had his reasons. Good reasons. She wasn't going to bargain, beg and haggle. You cannot fight out love. It can only be given freely. An illumination hit her: that was why he was retreating – he wasn't planning to fight for her love.

"Alright," she said. "I… I understand you…"

"Thank you."

"Just… Don't go away. Don't ever go away again." She ran fingers across his cheeks. "And somehow, someway I will find a way so that there will be choice."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! It was a very difficult chapter to navigate psychologically, and after long struggles I hope it holds water. Please do tell me what you think about it!


	19. Chapter 19

They must have fallen asleep afterwards. Madara woke up at some ungodly morning hour, stiff and hurting from the stones pressing into his hipbone and ribs. And everywhere else as well, he realized as a second level of consciousness returned to him.

He wondered how could Sakura sleep in these conditions as peacefully as she did. How was it possible that neither the stones, not the cold of the ground bother her? He was half-lying on her so he was providing some isolation from the cool air, but she was taking the brunt of impact from the ground. But it seemed that the younger the body, the more resistant it was to such inconveniences - Sakura was breathing so calmly, as if all the worries of the world were alien to her. Or maybe she was so chakra-exhausted that she had passed out?

Carefully, he rolled off her. She only murmured something incomprehensible and kept on sleeping. He summoned a bedroll, lifted her and moved her onto the mat. Joining her in the bedroll he had to snicker as even then Sakura failed to wake up.

When they were cooking their meal – unusually so, first thing in in the morning, as they both urgently needed nourishment after failing to eat anything after the fight the day before – a realization came to Madara's mind.

"That jutsu that you used yesterday – it wasn't only the release of chakra from the seal," he stated more than asked. "It was different from your normal healing technique."

Sakura halted with a chunk of rice halfway to her mouth. She put the chopsticks, together with the morsel of rice back to the bowl. "Yes. It was different."

"What was it then?"

"Creation Rebirth Jutsu."

"And what is that?"

"A jutsu speeding up cell division. Regeneration rate created this way can keep up with the injuries in a battle situation. Or almost so. My shishou invented it."

Madara stopped eating. "Cell division? Isn't the number of divisions something given for every cell? What are the consequences of using this technique?"

Sakura's eyes escaped to the side.

"Did you just shorten your life span, you stupid girl?! To prove me a point?!"

Sakura looked at him straight on. "Not to prove a point. To fight for the most important part of my life. And the side effect isn't even unwelcomed if you have to know!"

"What do you mean by that?" Madara narrowed his eyes.

She smiled softly at him. "How old was the body in which you've been reincarnated? Thirty? Thirty-five? I wasn't even eighteen when it happened. How many years before me will you die? A decade? Two decades? So, I am happy with every year that I cut off from my life span."

He didn't find words to answer it. That evening, they slept in one bedroll again.

* * *

They were two days' worth of jumps away from Sakura's Katsuyu's range. The unspoken understanding between them was that then Katsuyu would back-summon them to save time. And then it would be it.

He could see it in Sakura's eyes – the waiting for the verdict, knowing already what it would be. Fear almost palpable.

What would happen once they reach home? That he would have to face his failure wasn't even occupying Madara's mind – it was a given. He knew exactly what was on his consciousness. And he knew he was helpless to change it – he had done everything he could have had, and it hadn't been enough. It had been so much not enough. So pathetically not enough. It he had needed another lesson in humility, that one would have been perfect. He didn't feel he needed one though.

It was completely irrelevant what he was going to do from now on - there was no penance harsh enough for this sin. Everything depended on Sakura, on her reaction. He would take himself out of equation, it was never about him anyway. It was about giving her her life back. And he failed. All that he could do now was to follow through on her decision. Would she want to continue the search? Or would she prefer that he delivered her someplace safe so that she wouldn't have to look at his face ever again?

He couldn't even say that he was apprehensive. He was just so damn tired. It took a lot of mental discipline to make himself get up and go on, and on, and on. For days and months and years. On some level he knew that the speed of their search was laughable in comparison to the size of the matrix already when they had found the end of the first branch. But until now, a hope for a miracle existed, at least for those capable of experiencing hope. Two days more and it would be gone. Sometimes he wished everything would just stop.

Nevertheless, Sakura seemed uplifted by clearing of the atmosphere between them. He didn't quite understand why, it was all doomed to collapse the moment they reach their home world. But she sought out his eyes, and his hands throughout the day, and in the evening, she put their bedrolls together, as they used to do on the previous branches. When they laid down for the night, she wound her arms around his neck and angled her head so that their noses were almost touching.

"I love you," she said and he could hear the effort she was putting into making it sound convincing. "You may not believe it, but I do."

"Now, that is just a little bit silly, don't you think?"

Her fingers shot towards his face, tracing patterns across his cheek. It felt so wrong to be on receiving end of her affections. Sure, they had exchanged a good deal of far less innocent touches before, but it was just that – an exchange. Or at least it was officially framed as one.

"There is nothing silly in it," answered Sakura.

"You're very, very tired and so am I. We only had each other for a very long time. You may feel a lot to me, but that's not love."

"It is not the same thing that I felt to Sasuke-kun when we were younger, and not the same thing that… that I felt to him when I saw him again, or when we set off to look for them… I made quite a show out of my affections back then, didn't I? And now it makes whatever I say sound false. And yes, I admit, it tastes differently to what I felt, but there is no mistake," her fingers moved along his cheekbone, "it is love what I feel…"

He gathered her to his chest to put stop to her maneuvers. "That is not the best time to dwell on this," he told her placing a kiss on the crown of her head.

She didn't protest, didn't wiggle nor tried to argue with him. "That's alright. I don't expect anything from you. I just want you to know it."

"You will hate me the day after tomorrow."

She wanted to say something, probably raise an argument against his words, but she halted before she spoke a word. "I love you today," she said finally after a long pause. "That has to mean something."

* * *

"What will we find there? I'm so afraid."

Madara didn't answer, only gathered her closer to his chest. They were already in his Katsuyu's range, and tomorrow they would reach hers.

"You also think so? That they will be gone? I can tell that you do, even if you don't say a word." Sakura buried her head in his chest. "I don't know how I will… I don't know…" Her fingers tightened on the shirt on his back. She looked like a ghost entire day long, and even now she was a tense coil of nerves. She sought comfort in him, but it was futile. He couldn't bring her comfort, all he brought her was misery.

He inhaled what was so recognizably her scent. He was sure that the dimension would be empty. And she would hate him the moment she learns it. She snuggled closer to him and he breathed in again, nose buried into the hair above her ear. That might be the last time she wanted his proximity. The last time she would welcome his touch…

"I think it is going to be empty," he said. He needed to say it before he did anything else. "And it is my fault."

Would she move away? Would the words be enough for her to see what he really was? Or did she needed to see it with her own eyes?

Sakura didn't budge. If anything, she pressed harder. "You didn't know that it will be the outcome. And the plan wasn't even yours to begin with."

Same words, over and over again. They never gave him absolution. She was granting it, hundreds of times over, but he never felt absolved.

Wonder what she would say tomorrow. Madara felt bile rising in his throat. Bile and a sense of dread. Tomorrow he would lose whatever she felt to him. It was inevitable, she would change, loss and grief did strange things to people's heads. He had experienced it first-hand. She simply didn't know how it was, she never faced a true tragedy. Yet. Tomorrow she would know.

Starting tomorrow she would look at him as like on one who had destroyed her life. And she would be right.

Sakura's fingers were tracing lines on his shoulder blade.

Maybe one last time? Maybe he could be selfish this one time? He managed to rail in his selfishness for the most of his years with her…

"If you want… we could…" he whispered. "A bit…"

He didn't add 'if it will help you'. It would have been a lie, this time relieving her distress wasn't his primary incentive.

Sakura tensed and froze in his embrace. He could feel all her muscles constricting as if she was about to jump up and sprint. Her breath sped up. "Really? We could…?" she asked and her voice faltered. "I… Of course, that I want." She swallowed. "Whichever way you want. I don't care how."

With hesitant fingers he found the hem of her shirt and pulled it up. Still lying on the side, she opened her legs for him. And breathed in loudly somewhere very close to his ear as he placed his hand on her mound. He traced her slit with the fingers, feeling the depression through the fabric. She angled her hips, encouraging him, so he pressed harder and found the rhythm. She molded into his palm so perfectly. He felt her lips against the column of his neck, her breath almost scorching as she pressed to him in movement too erratic and forceful to be a kiss.

Madara curled the fingers towards her center, he could feel the slick wetness seeping from her core even through her underwear.

"Should I take them off?"

Madara hesitated. "No… Better not."

She nodded and he realized that his mouth landed at the junction of her neck. He left it there, as Sakura wiggled, opening her legs more.

He pressed the heel of his palm there where she liked it the most. She bucked into it in response, mewled against his neck and pressed her nose to his pulse point. Her breath was tickling him.

"Can I… as well?" Her words were tickling him as well. Not only on the skin. He hummed an agreement. He supposed he could hold himself in check once more, he managed to dozens of times already. They could have this one last time before everything goes down the drain and she hates him tomorrow. No loss for her, and that very last sliver of happiness for him. A pretend-game of happiness.

Sakura fumbled with the lacing of his trousers, trying to open them with one hand.

She succeeded, and then it was his turn to suck in the breath.

He hid his face in the crook of her neck as they started to move in unison – she pumping her fist around him, he pressing against her slit.

Her inhales morphed into pants, and then into moans. He curled his fingers more towards her heat. He knew that all was open down there, if he wanted, he could just slide them in, and this knowledge made him stiffen in her grip even more.

Her strokes gained momentum and he took it as a cue that he should speed up as well. Sakura clung to him, her lips nibbling his jaw and neck repeatedly, without much pattern nor obvious thought. He caught himself doing the same.

She was pressed so close to him that he could feel her nipples. He looked down - her shirt had hitched up chest-high, and so did his and they were skin to skin. They were so close that she couldn't properly maneuver her hand anymore. Sakura changed her grip, twisted her hand, and pressed his dick against her belly. It was soft. So soft and so warm. Madara groaned. He pressed harder against her mound, and not knowing why he closed his teeth at the junction of her neck. She gasped against his skin and jerked her hand up and down his shaft, pressing him against herself. The intensity of that all was reaching the point of being unbearable.

"Wait," panted Sakura suddenly, extracting herself from his neck. "Wait up. If we're doing it like this, then let me…" Sakura let off of him and maneuvered her hand to her own crotch. She patted him away, moved her underpants to the side and gathered juices onto her palm. His eyes widened in realization of what she was about to do. Sakura's hand returned to his cock.

He almost moaned. Not only at the sensation of slick wetness smeared on him, but at the consciousness where it had just come from. Sakura peeked up at him sheepishly, apparently waiting for him to push her away. He wouldn't. Taking in his face expression as she beamed with relief and smeared the rest of the moisture against her belly.

"Like this?" she whispered against his jaw. "Like this?"

"Like this," he confirmed. It was the only thought he could now formulate.

He picked up the rhythm against her clit, determined to bring her to completion before he was too far gone to do it properly. With another hand he gathered her to his chest more closely. Sakura's lips latched to his neck once again. He started thrusting against her belly, rubbing himself against her. So hot, and so wet, so soft. The pressure of her hand increased, pushing him towards her body.

"Finish," she moaned. She arched and bucked against his palm. "Please... Finish with me." Her fingers tightened painfully against his shoulder as she pumped him frantically. "I love you, I love you, I love you!"

She came. He followed.

* * *

A sickening pull of back-summoning. Gentle sun and soft grass of Shikkotsu. They exchanged a look – Sakura's eyes were still a bit puffy and red, as she cried this morning, packing the camp, when she thought he didn't see it.

"Ready?" he asked very slowly.

She answered with a barely noticeable nod. Her eyes were bigger than usual, like that of an animal caught in a trap, watching the hunter draw closer. He wondered if she could see fear in his eyes as well. He sure hoped that not, he hoped he was able to hide it well enough. She tightened her fingers around his.

No other jump was as hard as this one.

The sand of the little creek where the fishers' village used to stand was wet under his feet – high tide must have receded recently.

Still not done. His job wasn't done yet. Activating Susano'o, he closed the armor around them and made the ghost warrior spread his wings. Sakura was clutching at his hand. He could feel the cold sweat on her palm.

What he saw was expected, and it could be seen from afar. Through the blue glow of Susano'o the empty plain around the tree looked even more eerie than usually. Sakura's grip at his fingers became borderline impossible to bear.

 _'_ _Just a moment longer,_ ' thought Madara directing Susano'o's descend, _'and we will be finally faced with it.'_

He landed, releasing the jutsu. The ground under their feet was as hard and unwelcoming as every time they had been here.

Hard, brown, dry and scorched, the plain spread unhindered up to the horizon. No roots obstructed the view. Not a single root.

Because all the cocoons were gone.

Sakura fell to her knees and started to rock. Back and forth, back and forth, like a pendulum.

Madara stared in mortification. He had foreseen it; he had expected it. All the calculations had been pointing invariably to this outcome. But now it was done. He did it. He destroyed a world.

The count was on forty-one and it didn't matter anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, after a longer break, a new chapter. I kind of, sort of, have a feeling that is *not* what everyone was looking forward to... Please let me know your thoughts and feelings, as this chapter was sure supposed to evoke some...


	20. Chapter 20

Sakura stopped rocking. Now she was sitting, motionless as a statue, and he didn't know what to do. On the deserted plain, scarred by the endless craters from the fighting during Fourth War Madara felt as alone as never before. They've been to countless empty dimensions over those years, and never did he feel so exposed. Madara looked back. He turned and looked around. All was empty. But maybe that was the point.

Madara scrunched his eyebrows – they searched long and wide, but maybe the 'where' wasn't the point. Maybe it was about the time, about the 'when'?

Maybe the goddess had been waiting for this very moment. Bidding her time, waiting for the absorption to be completed. Who knew, maybe she was all the time a dimension away, skillfully dodging whenever they approached. No, Madara shook his head, if she really was as powerful as Sakura claimed, she wouldn't have cared about their presence. Nevertheless, the situation had changed and it would be prudent to take precautions. Or maybe he just wanted to push away the inevitable a couple of moments further – he looked sidewards at Sakura's immobile form.

"Kuchiyose no jutsu!"

He had a lot of chakra in store, he jumped only three times today. Katsuyu that he summoned would have easily dwarfed the Kyūbi.

"Katsuyu-san," he addressed the surprised slug, "would you scan for chakra."

The slug looked at him, down from her immense height, but didn't question his command.

"Entire chakra is concentrated in the tree," she announced after a while. "It's…" Katsuyu hesitated, "it's hard to examine, because the singular chakras are no longer distinguishable… Before, when it was flowing through the roots, one could still see different shades within the stream. Now, it's all blended. It's one mass of energy…"

"I see… And nothing else? No trace of the goddess?"

"No."

So, there was indeed nothing left for him to do. Madara stared at the flesh-colored monstrosity. Should he try to destroy it now? Would he even be able to? Would it change anything? On the other hand - was he allowed to? What if the process was reversible in some way? What if he would ruin it more than it was already ruined? He supposed that he didn't have the right to take any drastic steps. He shouldn't usurp any rights to the fate of the world – experience taught that all his decisions had been wrong.

Madara pursed his lips. He had only one last responsibility. That small, pitiful heap of misery that miraged in his peripheral vision. He released Katsuyu's summoning. The slug knew more about his private life more than he would have liked, but now he didn't want any audience. What he had to do would be hard enough to stomach without witnesses.

He came up to where Sakura was kneeling in the dirt, staring blankly ahead. He went on one knee in front of her and lowered his forehead to hers. Her only reaction was closing her eyes.

"Come on," he said. "Get up. We're going."

"Why?" whispered Sakura. "What for? It makes no sense. Nothing makes sense. I want to die."

He took a hold of the back of her head, and pressed her against himself. "We are still looking for your teammates, aren't we? We'll find them. I'll find them. Even if it's the last thing I do."

_"_ _And if I don't, I'll get you to the honeycomb dimension. I'll watch you play with those kids again, play with them so long that you forget that you've lost everything."_

* * *

He deposited her in Shikkotsu, for the necessary re-stocking period. 'Deposited' was a correct word, because Sakura was at that point just a dead weight. Normally, she would be the one to keep track of their provisions, and to give him direction what and in which amount to scavenge. Now he had to go through her supply records himself. He discovered that she had developed some system of shorthand symbols, and it took him several hours to decipher it. Sakura herself was no help - even when he crouched next to her bed and put the open notebook in front of her face asking very specific questions, she wouldn't answer. She generally stopped talking to him at all. Or to do anything else. She refused to get up from the futon, he had to forcibly sat her up and even then, with a bowl of soup on her lap and a spoon placed into her hand, it took hours until she finished her meal.

In retrospect, he should have been happy then, when she had been eating. Because after a week or so, she stopped. Hours of him goading her, telling her to pick up another morsel and put it to her mouth were all in vain. At some point he resorted to guiding her hand with the spoon.

"Sakura. Please eat some more." Same silence and blank stare as usually. Did she hate him? Did she wanted to have nothing to do with him? She had to. "Sakura, please."

He grabbed her hand and directed the spoon to her mouth. "Open your mouth. At least open your mouth. Or I should I feed you?" He gently disentangled spoon from her fingers (Did she hate his touch? For sure she did…) and scooped a fresh portion of stew, because the previous one had dripped back to the bowl already. "I can feed you if you prefer that…"

Nothing. Silence. No reaction. Madara squeezed the spoon handle in his fist so hard that the wood cracked. He wanted to hit something. He wanted to hit _her_. He jolted up. He needed air. If such thoughts appeared in his head, he definitely needed air.

He ran down the slope towards the river and washed his face in the river. Thank gods the water was cold.

"Katsuyu-san," he said to the summoned, small portion of the slug. "Can you try dealing with her? Maybe you'll have more success. I… I cannot anymore."

He retreated to the dog's dimension. Katsuyu would back-summon him if she encountered real troubles handling Sakura, he rationalized. Or, in worse case, she would go two days without food. She could survive that. Because Madara needed some time out.

When he came back with five hunted deer (which was probably too much, but he discovered that killing something brought him certain relief) even though was night in Shikkotsu a medium-sized clone of Katsuyu was waiting for him by the dimension-entry. His adrenaline immediately spiked – was something wrong with Sakura?

"Katsuyu-san, is everything alright?"

Katsuyu moved her tentacles. "It's fine. Or as fine as it can be… But I thought you would like to know the status immediately after you arrive."

Madara swallowed. "Yes. Thank you for your consideration. Did you… did you manage to get her to eat something?"

"She ate quite a bit. There was this pot of stew that you've left. And we've brought her some fruit – she ate them as well."

"How did you manage?! She wouldn't eat anything when I was trying to feed her!"

"Oh, maybe she just got hungry. And you know, I'm doing everything rather slowly, so I didn't mind taking my time with her. Maybe she got tired of my constant nagging?" The slug made that strange up-and-down head movement that was her equivalent of laughing. Madara tried smiling. He really wanted to believe that it was Sakura's lack of appetite and his own impatience that made him fail. And not the fact that she didn't want anything to do with him.

He lingered by the river some time longer until he finally decided to climb up to the cave. Sakura was asleep. He crawled into the bed and lied down, as each night, facing her. He thought that lying like that would indicate that she was welcome to come into his embrace whenever she wanted. But she never did. She slept at the edge of the bed with her back turned towards him.

The next few days Sakura spent alternatingly sleeping or staring blankly at the ceiling. Or crying. Her state independently, they needed to decide on the route. He wanted Sakura to make this decision, he simply wanted to take her there where she wished to go. How could he though if she wasn't talking to him? Over the next days, he ended up discussing the strategies with Katsuyu.

"I want to concentrate on the last remaining branch. Skipping the fourth one completely."

"Oh absolutely! That chakraless dimension was terrible, simply terrible! Please, don't go anywhere near it."

"Theoretically we could circumvent it," mused Madara as the thought of skipping the entire direction was irking him a bit, "but who knows if it there isn't a cluster of similar worlds there. And taking into account that a structural anomaly was also in the area, I'm not so sure if I will be able to navigate correctly," he rationalized to himself more than to Katsuyu who had her opinion already firmly crystallized.

"Please, spare the risk wherever you can, Madara-sama. I find your quest endlessly dangerous, and in the depth of my heart I wish you could just stop altogether. Especially now that there is not really a point anymore."

Madara pursed his lips. "Well, the point sits in the cave. I'm sure that on the long run you can bear watching her in this state as little as I do. There is still the sixth branch to check. And I will check it."

"But how do you imagine travelling with her? Up to the 81st dimension, if you are careful not to rip the nodes, I will be able to patch you up. After that – it has to be her."

Madara drummed his fingers against his knee. "I don't know. I can only hope that she will snap out of it."

* * *

He grabbed her wrists and brought her palms to his chest. "Heal me. Sakura, you need to fix me."

It was a calculated gamble. Not a very risky one, but still a gamble. They were at the edge of Sakura's Katsuyu range, and he deliberately tore two nodes of his chakra system. He could have gone slower and had Katsuyu patch the damage before the rip, but he needed to know if Sakura was willing to cooperate. She couldn't know exactly where they were, she had shown no interest in her logbook and Madara doubted if she kept the track of the jumps in her head. On a slim chance that she did, he jumped sideways several times, to give her the impression that they were deeper in the matrix than they really were. He wouldn't be risking their safety leaving the back-summoning zone without being sure that she was capable and willing to cooperate with him at least on a minimal level.

"Sakura, please." He pressed her hands to his pectorals. "Please. I need you."

Very slowly, she raised her chin up. For the first time in weeks he saw her eyes actually connecting with his. She was looking _at_ him, not through or past him. She blinked several times. A tiny tendril of her chakra snaked into his system.

Madara strangled down a sob of immense relief. Her chakra invading his pathways was the best feeling ever.

Sakura's eyes welled up. She sent more chakra into his system as the first tears formed and rolled down her cheeks. Her chakra inside him was as jarring as ever, yet now, despite it, it felt like a gentle caress. As if she was stroking him on the inside.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm sorry. I didn't think that someone may still need me…"

She felt so strange. So out of place. The camp looked as usual, but Sakura suddenly felt as if she didn't belong. The logbook was lying by Madara's backpack and so was the supply list. The timber for the night was already unsealed and piled next to the fire. A rice was cooked and portioned. None of that was her doing. She left everything to him and he had to struggle alone. Sakura closed her eyes to concentrate better on his Gate of Limit that was still disconnected from the system, but even then, blood rushed to her cheeks in shame.

How could have she been so selfish? How could have she left him all alone? She peeked up at him – his brows were scrunched as if in discomfort.

The last node was connected - Sakura removed her hands from his chest and stepped away. "Where are we? Where are we going? I think I wasn't paying attention…"

"On the sixth branch." He walked up towards his pack. "We're in the dimension 51. Here," he handed her her logbook, "I tried my best to keep the notes clear."

"Oh. I see," said Sakura slowly, accepting the notebook and sitting down by the fire. "And why?"

"What 'why'?"

"Why are we going on the sixth branch?"

"Because I decided on this route. You weren't saying anything, and I figured out that sitting in Shikkotsu wouldn't bring much… Would you prefer to go someplace else? To honeycomb for example?"

"I don't know," Sakura's shoulders slumped down on their own. The inertia and void that was her only reality for last weeks threatened to envelop her once again. "I don't know what I prefer… I cannot think of a single thing I would want…" she whispered surprised and looked up to Madara. It felt as drowning and she needed someone to haul her out of that water.

He stretched out his hand and patted her on the knee. "Then let's just move forward and get to the end of this branch. It is one of logical courses of action so we can as well just continue."

That night she crawled into his embrace and remembered that it was something that felt good.

The next evening, she forced herself to concentrate and go through Madara's entries in the logbook – past dimensions were all unspectacular, but nevertheless Madara described them in detail. She could see the effort he had put into it.

Oh, how she wanted to feel drive, to be motivated again. He still could. Why couldn't she? Her desires used to be like burning fire but now, no matter what she tried thinking about – she couldn't feel anything. Sakura sighed and closed the logbook. Maybe performing her duties in a satisfactory manner was good enough for now.

A day later she gathered enough energy to leaf through the supply list. She saw some items crossed out, with sharp, impatient lines, so different from the neat straight ones she used. Among the new entries, written in Madara's handwriting, there was significantly too much meat. And significantly too little fruit and vegetables. ' _Of course. How predictable_ ,' she thought. A pang of irritation mixed with tenderness surprised her as a flash of light in a dark room would. A first thing that was not grief that she _felt_ for so long!

All that time Madara was more careful around her than usually. She noticed that he wasn't starting conversations either. And since her usual chatter disappeared, they spent many evenings sitting in silence.

They moved along the branch, seamlessly falling into their routine and Sakura was making an effort to remember that she should be grateful to be alive. Some evenings she would watch him going through his tasks and think that she was glad that he was around. That he was such a good companion. But somehow everything felt so lackluster and bleak.

* * *

And then it happened.

A deadly cluster.

First it was an ocean of lava. As in Kaguya's core dimension they were falling, rushing madly towards a lake of molten rock. They jumped before they touched the lava. Into a cloud of acid mist. Sakura screamed and vapor burnt her lungs.

Another jump.

On to a scorching metal plane. Another. Into dry darkness with no air.

Sakura wanted to shout to Madara that he should change the direction, but maybe he did.

She could only grasp frantically at his waist as they half-submerged in some burning substance only to be hurled spinning madly into a next world that was turning around its axis much too quickly.

Another world. And she was screaming as gravity pushed at her from all sides even though there was no air around them.

Another jump. They hit against something so hard that Sakura's fingers gave away and she let go off Madara's belt. Needles of panic pierced through her brain. They cannot get separated!

Sakura jerked her head – he didn't jump. He was lying couple of meters away from her screaming and twisting in pain.

Panting from her own pain Sakura propped herself to her knees. They were on a small rock surrounded by bubbling lava.

Releasing Yin Rebirth Seal Sakura crawled towards Madara. Acid burns. Lava burns on her feet. Bloodied eyes, broken eardrums – the seal was ripping through Sakura's body, making her anew. She wanted to fall on the ground and scream her lungs out but there was no time for that.

She needed to help Madara. First the acid. She had to wash it away. With hands shaking so much that she could barely contain their movements, Sakura retrieved a water bottle and emptied it on his face. Some got into his eyes and he screamed again. Sakura rolled him over to the side and poured more water. She put her hand over his face. Eyes. His eyes were the most important. Rest can wait. She pumped chakra into cornea and mucous membrane of his eyes.

Then his ears. He had fractured eardrums as well, but that was a quick fix. Now he was able to hear her.

She let the Yin seal envelope him as well, binding them together with glimmering ribbons. Quick scan on his vital told her she had enough time to summon three water containers. Sakura stripped her shirt. And poured water over herself.

"Madara. Move. You need to take that off." She pulled at his shirt.

Moaning, he complied. She emptied another container on him. Burns didn't go as far on him as on her, only to his chest. He was much taller than her, he didn't submerge completely in that corrosive liquid.

"Don't waste water."

Sakura let out a relieved breath. If he had energy to admonish her, then he was fine.

"I'm not wasting it. We need to wash this thing away."

"Alright. But don't bother washing clothes. Let's retrieve other ones."

"Lie down. I need to heal you."

She repaired his skin, not very precisely, the scars will remain, but her chakra was needed for other purposes. The damage to his chakra system was huge. Five chakra nods were disconnected from the network. "How many jumps did you make? I think I've lost count."

"Eight. But I changed the direction after the third and was aiming far from the fifth on."

"Do you have an idea where we are?"

"Give me the scroll, I'll try writing it down as you fix me."

"So?" she inquired after he was stabilized enough.

"I kept the right-wards direction until the fourth. Then I turned upwards. Between the number five and six, and six and seven I made double jumps... I was aiming for double also in the last one, and I think I did it, because it sure felt like… But maybe I was just exhausted."

"Alright." A shiver went through Sakura's body. Madara not being sure about something was a very rare event. "How do we get out of here?"

Madara bit his lip. "I would say… Same way as we came."

Sakura gasped. „No, no way! We won't survive it! Can't we circumvent?" she suggested seeing that he was decided. "Like we did with the Kaguya's acid dimension in the second layer?"

"I don't dare. Who knows what surprises we will face if we try circumventing while _inside_ a deadly cluster.""

"We won't make it." Sakura shivered.

"We've managed through once."

"Just barely. That burning stuff… Had it been one meter more… Do you really think we can survive this?"

"It's not excluded."

"Why don't we jump forward? There is nothing that keeps us bound to the branches anymore."

"How do you know how large is the cluster?"

"It might be its end."

"Or just the beginning. We still have a chance of returning."

Sakura buried her face in her hands. A chance.

A chance.

"How big?"

"You've seen it yourself. I would say thirty percent of making it alive."

Sakura shook. "I… I need to finish healing you," she gulped. She needed to sort things out in her head. "And then we eat. And sleep. We need to be fit."

They retrieved spare clothing and bedrolls. Sakura browsed through the scrolls until she found canned tuna. According to her expenditure record it was their last tuna. He liked fish, didn't he? They ate it with rice and a double portion of crackers. Once again Sakura regretted that they didn't have sake.

They didn't need neither fire nor barrier seals. The lava bubbling around them gave off enough heat and protection. All that was left was to sleep and regenerate. But Sakura couldn't. After half of an hour lying still in his embrace, she got up and sat at a larger boulder. She knew he couldn't sleep when she was tossing and turning. Maybe this way at least he could get some sleep.

Last sleep. That is what you call death, don't you? People at home also slept for those three years. Or maybe it wasn't sleep. Maybe it was voiceless torture. Sakura wrung her hands into her hair. She couldn't help them; she couldn't save them. And now she, herself would perish in some sea of acid.

No. It was not all on vain. Their journey wasn't pointless. They didn't find the boys; they didn't find a way to undo the Tsukuyomi. But they found each other. In her grief she forgot about it. Her life, that seemed so worthless over the past weeks, in that very moment regained its value. She looked back at Madara sleeping in his bedroll. Even now, when everything was gone – he was still here.

She was not going to lose the last chance they have to be together. Whatever stupid or maybe wise reasons he might have.

She got up and walked towards him. Normally she wouldn't wake him up before such a demanding trial as the one they would face tomorrow, but now she was too absorbed with her decision.

When she tugged at his shoulder and he groggily opened up his arms indicating that she could crawl into the bedroll.

"No," said Sakura. "Wake up properly."

Madara opened one eye. "What is it?"

"I want to do it."

"Do what?"

"I want to have sex." Now she got his attention. His eyes snapped open. "Real one. All the way to the end."

Madara was upright in his bedroll. "What came onto you? Are you so afraid to die?" he asked when she failed to answer.

Sakura bit her lip "Let's do it."

Madara was examining her as if he saw her for the first time in his life. "Think about it," he said after a very long while. "You've barely recovered after the shock; you are not in a state when you should be making such a decision. After all that happened, I'm the last person with whom…"

"Stop. Stop this bullshit."

"That's not bullshit. That's a correct assessment of our situation."

"You know very well what is my opinion on 'our situation'. We had this conversation already and I really think that now our circumstance are," Sakura made a sweeping motion at the sea of lava, "a bit changed." She shifted to him and put a hand on his knee. "Alright?" By her estimation he should make a move by now. Surely, he understood her logic. But he wasn't making one. "Why don't you say something…?"

He was assessing her with narrowed eyes. "Assuming we survive tomorrow and we find your Sasuke, what would you tell him?" he asked in the end.

Sakura gulped. She really didn't know the answer to this question. Telling Sasuke-kun that she had… with another…? What an absurd notion. Not that she would ever have to face this dilemma. "Nothing. I don't see a reason why I should tell him with whom, when and under what circumstances I slept."

"And have you ever taken my opinion into consideration?"

"Your opinion?"

"That I may not want to lie with a woman that will have me only in the face of death."

"How can you say that?! I've told you that I loved you!"

"That was before. And then, just as expected, your feelings changed. Very understandably so."

"Not true," she shook her head, feeling tears welling in her eyes. "So much not true! I just… I just… I was grieving! I had right, hadn't I? It doesn't automatically mean that my attitude to you changed!"

Madara arched his eyebrow.

"How can you still not believe me? And even if it was about my fear of death – would you deny me it? I cannot believe it. I just cannot. You say you care about me, and then you behave like that, you deny me… Do you really want to lose our last chance? And for what reasons? What is your real reason? Can you at least tell me _that_?"

Madara pursed his lips. "Because I cannot stop wondering," he said finally, "if you won't be thinking about him when I'll be fucking you."

Sakura bit her lip and tasted blood.

"That you will close your eyes and pretend that I'm him," said Madara very quietly.

"Are you jealous? Was that all? All that time?"

"All? Oh, I have plenty other reasons as well... But I don't like being used."

"That won't be that. That won't be using. And I swear to all the gods that I won't be thinking of him."

He looked at her for such a long time, and there was so much sadness and weariness on is face. As if watching her now he was looking back at all that they had been through together. "Alright," he said in the end. "Then arrange something that I won't knock you up."

Sakura blinked. "Do you honestly believe that we will get out of it alive?" was the first thing that came to Sakura's mind at the absurdity of his request.

"Of course. Otherwise I would slit my wrists right here and save myself the bother."

Sakura found his hand, caressed the inside of it and tangled her fingers with his. She smiled looking at their connected hands and then again, looking up to meet his eyes. She wanted to say something, tell that she was so happy, that he made her so happy, but the words got stuck in her throat. The fear of death was gone and all that was left was joy. He could somehow, inexplicably always give her reprieve. Even if she felt small and useless next to him, he had a way to make her forget her fears.

Shaking her head, Sakura sat up and tried gathering herself together. She weaved seal above her abdomen and plastered her palm to where the uterus was, "That should do."

"A barrier seal? That simple? Isn't it unhealthy for you to be closed up like that?"

"I will worry about a better method if we get out if this." Sakura shrugged off her pants, and yanked at her shirt. Madara grabbed her wrist.

"Wait. Let me do it. Even in these circumstances, it shouldn't be about mechanically going through the motions. Don't hurry. We have time."

* * *

He let go of her wrist when she let go of the hem. He took off his shirt, but left hers on. For the time-being. Instead, he shifted so their faces were as close as they could be. He angled his head and brushed his lips against her cheekbone. And once again, a bit lower down her cheek. The side of his face touched hers and ever so gently he let his lips slide. His nose was touching her cheek, and he felt the heat of her breath at the crook of his neck.

She was breathing so fast, she was nervous. Madara planted another kiss on her cheek, and yet another one on her temple. He let his lips linger longer. Finally, she responded, and pressed her mouth there, where she could reach – to his jaw. Madara stilled – they were really about to do it. His hard-beaten-in reflexes kicked in and made him stop. He had to actively push away the thoughts that he used to keep himself in check for all those years – thoughts about how he didn't want her to lose hope. About how he couldn't live without her hope, with her eyes empty and her not caring anymore. Now the hope was gone anyhow. And gone, with larger probability soon will also be their lives.

In retrospect they have been so lucky. They've visited thousands of worlds, and it's only the second time they were in mortal danger. It didn't have to go like this. They might have jumped deep into an ocean of lava and there would have been no goodbyes. No last chances. There wouldn't have been this night. The last chance to experience something good for both of them.

He traced barely palpable kisses along her cheekbone. She had such a beautiful face, emaciated and angular now, but still so beautiful. How could he failed to notice that from the very beginning? She never caught his attention during the war, he thought her not particularly attractive at first. Madara wondered if he had been blind.

He stopped with his lips right against hers. There was the narrowest distance still separating them. Every exhale that she was making was becoming his inhale. Sakura's lips trembled and he closed the gap. Their lips were so dry, the air here was like on a desert. Their lips rested one against another. Madara raised his eyes to see her expression. She must have felt it as she opened her eyes and jerked away.

"Easy…" he said before he meant to.

Sakura nodded. He found the hem of her shirt and lift it up. She wasn't wearing any bindings; she never did to bed. He had seen her half-naked and even all naked on multiple occasions, but, save that one time in Shikkotsu after they had recovered from starvation, he never allowed himself to think about her sexually in such moments. Now he could. Maybe he found some redemption in the eyes of gods that they granted it to him before his death…

Smiling to his thoughts, he lowered his head and kissed the top of her shoulder. Then he put his lips to hers again - still not a real kiss, still just contact. He slid his hands along her sides, from the waist up. The swell of her breasts just appeared under his fingers when she opened her mouth. He could feel how she sucked in a portion of air. He skimmed around her nipples, not touching them and closed his palms around her breasts. She eased.

He wanted to caress her breasts, to feel their roundness, or whatever was left of it, to discover how it felt to suck at her nipples. But maybe it was all too much for her. He slid his right hand down, between her legs. To this they were both accustomed, it was nothing new for her. His fingers found a familiar path between her lower lips. He didn't have to think about it, he knew exactly how to touch her just the way she liked it. With every circle he made over her clit he could see her expression relaxing. She was on familiar grounds. With a coy smile she tilted her head and pressed her lips against his.

His was circling her opening. How many times did he do that, and never breached it? Hundreds? She trusted him and he never broke this trust. Now he finally had her permission. And a permission from his own consciousness. He dipped deeper, and deeper until he couldn't make circles anymore. Until he was in her channel. Sakura froze but kept her lips pasted to his. He gently pushed his tongue past her lips, and, a moment later, pushed his finger a completely in. Sakura moaned.

He eased the finger inside her. Warm, moist tightness receded under his pressure. Sakura made another sound and he ate it, his lips closing to hers tightly. He would eat all the sounds she was going make. He slowly pumped the finger in and out and Sakura broke the kiss. With his free hand he took hold on her neck and brought her back. Her lips were parted wide and this time he pushed his tongue into her mouth without hesitation. Her sounds got more desperate, as if what he did spurned her further; she was singing now. She was even returning the kiss from time to time, when she wasn't making all those wonderful sounds.

Madara crooked his finger and searched blindly for her pleasure spot. With his other hand he held her by the waist, not allowing her to wiggle out. He brushed his fingers against her front wall and she stilled, tensing all over. He could feel how she clamped around his digit, her eyes flying backwards and mouth opening in a wordless cry. Her hips moved meeting his hand. He kissed her deeper determined to make her come – it was better if she reached her completion already, who knew how would the things develop once it came to actual joining. But before she could reach her peak, she jerked her head away, with one decisive move she planted her palms on his shoulders and looked straight at him.

"Not like this. Let's do it for real," she said and pulled him towards herself, leaning backwards in the same time. As in slow motion he could see how she lowered herself, her hands still keeping his shoulders firmly in grip, pulling him into her. Her arms open, welcoming him. Her lips half-parted, her legs opening to accommodate him…

He let himself be pulled. He wasn't sure if what he did was already enough for her or not… But there he was - over her, drawn into her, sinking between her legs… They were aligned already, he could feel her heat, he was mere millimeters away from burying himself inside her.

He wanted to see her, he realized. He wanted to watch her when he entered her.

They were nose-to-nose and once again they were breathing shared air. Slowly, the slowest he could, he pushed in. In concert with her body slowly yielding to him, her eyes went huge, her mouth formed a round 'O'. Her eyelids fluttered frantically and she gasped. He sealed her mouth with his to swallow that gasp. When their lips parted from the deep kiss, he was completely sheathed inside her.

"Alright?" he asked and brushed a strand of hair from her forehand. Somehow, he didn't quite know what to do.

Sakura sucked in her bottom lip not letting her eyes off him. He could watch those eyes until the end of his life. He always thought he would want to ogle her body if it ever came to coupling between them. Now he was discovering that he couldn't bring himself to take his eyes off her face.

"I'm fine," she said and rubbed at his shoulders. "All is fine."

Carefully, he rolled his hips into her heat. Whatever resistance there was, receded within couple of thrusts. She opened her legs wider, making more space.

He concentrated on keeping the rhythm steady. He knew that once they fall into the correct tempo she wouldn't want it to change. And judging from the noises she was making; he might have already found it. So now he was determined to keep it. Maybe he could make her come around him? He would make her come either the way, later if necessary… But that would be a dream - to see her fall apart around him, to feel how she squeezes and flutters… Madara shook his head, banishing the fantasies else he, himself, would come right now.

Sakura crossed her ankles behind his back. She looked as if she wanted to wrap her arms around him as well, but he needed to stay propped up to give momentum to his thrusts. And he wanted to watch her.

He lowered his head nevertheless and kissed her. She responded eagerly, and even pressed her tongue into his mouth for a moment.

"Like this?" he asked and rolled his hips modifying the angle. He didn't know why it came out as a whisper. Maybe because she was so close.

"Ooh-huh.. that's fine. Just… keep going…"

So he did. He concentrated on not climaxing and kept the pace. Her eyes were clenched shut and Madara actively banished from his head the question who was currently under her eyelids.

She was shifting her pelvis, contributing her part to the slamming of their hips, and her movement grew frantic. She was close. She arched her spine pushing her chest up and grasped erratically at his shoulders. Madara grit his teeth. Just a bit longer.

"Ma… Madara!" She called out to him without opening her eyes, he concluded with swelling heart. She called out to him in that very last moment, before she would fall down the precipice; she called out as if she needed his help. Well, she needed it, and he did what was required – he didn't falter, pressed into her channel as it started to spasm, grabbed her hips and pulled her into himself when she couldn't respond anymore, pressed so that their bodies collided again and again until with a shrill cry she shuddered violently and clenched around him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally! You cannot imagine how emotional it is for me to share this chapter with you. I was waiting for it for SUCH A LONG TIME. The ending of the chapter sat written in my WIP file for more than a year. It's been such a long journey...
> 
> Please, do tell me your impressions.
> 
> And as many people asked: 'forty-one' that Madara is referring to at the end of chapter 19 is the number of months that have passed since Tsukuyomi.


	21. Chapter 21

When she woke up - tangled around Madara, more tangled than usually, and very naked - he was awake already. He asked her how she had slept, and she could only reply that as well as she hadn't since a very long time. Then she didn't know what to say, because he was so close, and their bodies were touching, and thank all the gods for the blanket he must have summoned somewhen during the night, because it gave an excuse of modesty...

Sakura hid her face in his chest in attempt to gather her wits, when he told that they should be going. Then it all came crashing at her.

She had faced death so many times, but it was always in combat. Willing jumping into a death trap was something else. There was no opponent to confront and beat. Only those alien, lethal elements. And she herself was not even capable of jumping out...

The return, even if strategically advisable, was more terrifying than the way forward. Sakura knew what terror, suffering and pain awaited them after each jump. She knew already that after second jump her lungs will be tore apart by vacuum, that after the third one she would be plunged in a burning liquid.

In some way it was worse to know.

To delay the inevitable in the same time giving an impression that she was doing something useful she pressed her chakra into Madara's system, once again checking his pathways and strengthening the connections between the nodes. 'Let it hold,' she prayed, 'please let it hold.'

She closed her eyes and let her chakra travel across his body the way her hand could have. And maybe should have. She didn't do much touching yesterday, did she? She was kind of self-conscious and overwhelmed by the significance of the event. She didn't show any initiative, and just left everything to him. Sakura chakra moved from his back to his front - chest, pectoral, stomach... Oh, a wound she missed yesterday. She put her hand to his torso healing him. And let her palm linger on the freshly mended skin. Sakura moved her fingers gently. She had never done any caressing, save to his strategical parts. And even that hadn't been much of caressing, it had been always kind of goal-oriented.

What a pity. She concentrated on the sensation of Madara's skin touching the inside of her palm. Then she slipped her fingers higher feeling muscles of his chest. What a pity. They would die today and she never really got to show him much affection. She stroked gently against his skin cherishing the feeling under her fingertips. What a pity...

Sakura sniffled feeling her eyes starting to water.

Madara's no-nonsense pat on the head tore her out of her thoughts.

"Don't sulk. We're not dead yet."

Sakura nodded, swallowing her tears.

"Now get up and get ready. If you attach yourself somehow to me, and keep your hands free, would you be able to heal me while I jump?"

She opted for a rope that bound them at the waists, her standing behind him, having direct access to the nodes in his torso - those most prone to tearing. She put on long trousers and high boots, tucked the ends of the trousers inside. After some deliberation she retrieved the oil from the food scrolls and rubbed it into hers and Madara's trousers. She wasn't sure, but that corrosive substance felt water-based... Sakura hoped she was correct and the oil would not harm them further in some other dimension.

And then it was it. Jackets zipped up; soldier pills swallowed. Ropes tightened around their waists.

"Madara..."

He turned around as much as the harness allowed him. He looked at her and arched his eyebrow when she failed to say anything.

Sakura bit her lip. Suddenly she was at loss with words... So she grabbed his collar and pulled him down into her reach. She still didn't know much about kissing, but she put her all into that one, held his face with both hands and did her best.

When they parted, his eyes lingered on her. Sakura smiled. Without any words, she knew what he intended to say: that he would get her out of it. Not letting her eyes off him she nodded and squeezed his hand. Purple seal crawled down her cheeks and lower, across her neck and chest, around her arms. Shimmering strands emerged from Sakura's sleeves and crept from her palms to his, enveloping and binding them together.

The first jump was the most terrifying she had made so far. Still, Sakura kept herself in check with the rational parts of her mind. She took a deep inhale before the vacuum, and didn't allow her brain to succumb to panic at the spinning of the second world. But in the third one, a splash of corrosive liquid reached her face. Sakura screamed, flailing violently, trying to get the thing out of her eyes.

Next thing she knew was a brutal pull that knocked the air out of her. Tugged by the ropes connecting her to Madara she stumbled and collapsed on him. With her right, still functioning eye she saw him half-kneeling at the metal plane propped with his arm against the scorching surface. He must have tripped landing, yet took the impact so she didn't come into contact with the metal. A horrid smell of burning flesh reached Sakura's nose just before the pull of the next jump.

This time she hit the surface hard. Too preoccupied with the burning in her eyes and fear about Madara's state she failed to land correctly. The blunt force resonated along her spine, for sure compressing couple of discs.

Half blinded, she grabbed at a water canteen and poured it onto her face. First thing she saw was Madara cutting the rope connecting them, his face contorted in grimace.

"What are you doing?!" Sakura shouted, fear rushing through her veins. They couldn't disconnect! They made only five jumps!

"Need to take that off," panted Madara unbuckling the belt and frantically tearing at his clothes.

Sakura focused her eyes. His trousers were half melted away and his skin as well. Still, it shouldn't be the end yet. Where was the lava and acid mist worlds?

No time to waste, still. Sakura dropped to her knees, pressing her palms to where his burns were the worst. Madara sucked in air, hissing. Her own pain made her ignore it. The seal was mending her in the same time and concentrating at the treatment of another person while being rebuilt was an effort enough. Enough not to spare thoughts on patient's comfort.

"Wait, wait," he said, "we need to wash that stuff away. There!"

Sakura a looked around. This definitely wasn't the acid mist dimension. The ground under her feet was solid, covered with lush, green grass. Just right to them in a small depression, water shone dark blue, as the sky above them.

Madara stumbled towards the water.

"Wait!" She shouted. She wanted to say 'we don't know if that's water', but Madara was already diving under the surface.

He resurfaced a moment later, unharmed. Sakura's heart started beating again.

Wherever they were - they were alive. Alive! They managed! They tore through the cluster! That was not their end!

She breathed in. Felt her lungs expand with air that wasn't neither poisonous nor burning. Alive.

She looked downwards where Madara just emerged from yet another dive.

A strange excitement bubbled in Sakura's chest. Unbuckling the belt with scrolls, she made a step towards the lake. She shed her jacket and shirt before she reached the water. Already underwater, she slipped out of her trousers. The open skin on her neck and cheek hurt in contact with water, but even the pain was welcomed at this moment as a proof of survival.

Sakura swam up to where Madara was. It was a bit too deep for her to stand so she grabbed his shoulder with one hand to steady herself and splayed the palm of another on his stomach. His fifth node was detached from the rest of the system. She concentrated on the pathway going downwards trying to reconnect it, when she felt his hands hoisting her up. Instinctively, she wrapped her legs around his waist.

His mouth was on hers before she noticed.

He was kissing her when he carried her out of the water, and he was kissing when he made her straddle and ride him. He only stopped when he flipped her around to plunge into her from behind. She clawed at that thick, wet grass out of the intensity of her release.

"Where are we even?" asked Sakura after a long while. They were lying splayed on the grass, still breathless and sweated from their love-making.

"I don't know…" It was a hard thing to admit, and even harder to admit in front of her. "After the metal plane I changed the direction to go left. Yet this is not where we came from…"

Sakura didn't jump up. That surprised him; Madara thought she would panic at the information that they were lost.

"Any idea how it happened?" she asked passing a blade of grass between her fingers.

"Change of direction is always tricky… Especially when done under pressure. I must have made a mistake… I'm sorry…"

Sakura sat up rapidly. "I'm not blaming you!" She shook her head and reached out to him. "You got us out!"

"But where to…?"

"Does it really matter?"

Madara stared.

"I don't think I want to go any further," said Sakura. "We can stay here. We have tools, we can build a house. There must be some game on those planes. The seeds of grasses will be edible. Maybe in the mountains," she pointed to the horizon, "there will be something similar to sheep or goats. I could try domesticating… You could first capture them in a genjutsu… Do animals succumb to genjutsu?"

"They do, but…"

"Great! And I was always curious how many generations it takes to get plants to produce bigger seeds. And if I could manipulate this rate somehow…"

"Sakura. We cannot stay here."

"Why not?"

"You are not cut out to being alone. You need people around you; you need contacts. You are not meant to be an island of one."

"I won't be alone. I'll have you." She sent him this wide-eyed smile that was always disarming him. Madara was sure she knew how effective it was.

"Two is not much different than one," he retorted.

"It is. It is very different! And it doesn't have to be just the two of us, you know…?" she let the ending of the sentence hanging.

Madara stared. "No," he said thickly. She recoiled as if he hit her. "Absolutely not. Think about it for a moment." He adjusted his tone at the sight of tears welling in her eyes. "That would be the pinnacle of irresponsibility. We could have each other, with some luck it could even work, but then what? Brother with sister? Is this what you wish for for your children?"

"No!" Sakura covered her ears. "Of course not!" She shook her head violently, apparently trying to banish the picture he had just drew from her mind. "Alright. I understand."

"At the very least we need to find a place with other people. We can try going back to the honeycomb dimension? You liked it there…"

"But we don't know where we are… The deathly cluster is just a jump away. And we don't even know which direction!"

"We don't know exactly where we are, but I have an idea where I came from." Madara gestured right and up. "We need to avoid that side of the cube and continue leftwards. And go a bit further in order to circumvent those dimension that almost got us fried on the way here."

"That's too dangerous! And I'm tired, I'm so tired..." Sakura wrung her hands into her hair. "I… I want a break."

Her eyes were pleading and exhausted when she looked up at him. "Alright," he said. "We can make our base it this dimension, and after you're rested, set off again. Two dimensions in the correct direction and then one jump sideways and we should find a marked world." He omitted the information that he had no clue which sideways he should jump.

They needed to fly some hundreds of kilometers in Susano'o until they reached a forested area. The trees were gigantic, they had to actively walk to circumvent them. Their branches had unusual shapes, growing from the trunk at sharper angles than Madara's mind was used to, but otherwise they looked as trees from their dimension.

Grass under the giants was lush and green, and he knew it all reminded Sakura of Konoha. It sure reminded him. And of Hashirama.

They ended up setting up a base another thousand kilometers further, at the very edge of a continent. There, close to the coast, the plant life was less overwhelming and easier to harness and control. Smaller trees were significantly less laborious to cut down. And they needed beams for the house. Imbuing wind nature into the blades made the work easy. Madara never took part in construction works, but he could still recall the workers building then-fresh Konoha. Couple of trials-and-errors later small hut soon stood.

He could see how grateful Sakura was. How, despite swearing that she knew it was temporary, she dove into unpacking the scrolls. How she looked for perfect spot to place a table. How she unsealed all the blankets, did a laundry and then painstakingly layered them on their adjacently lying bedrolls, tucking the corners underneath, obviously meaning this arrangement was there to stay.

How in the night she would crawl into his embrace simultaneously ridding herself of her pants. Most of the times he would then turn her around and enter her from behind, as gently as he could. He liked it that way; his hands were free to roam across her body to make up for all the time lost before. Making her come was the simplest thing ever – he only needed to slip his fingers between her legs and follow the too-well-known route. He discovered a spot on her neck that made her giggle. And another, just behind her ear that made her clench, oh so hard. He kissed her there every time he wanted to really feel her around him.

Sometimes she would wiggle out of his embrace, climb on top of him and ride him.

In the mornings, she would go to a stream and wash herself, extract whatever he deposited inside her with chakra, and release the seal. Each evening, when she was coming to bed, the seal glowed back inside her.

Yet, he couldn't stop thinking about his failure. How could he have jumped wrongly? Madara spent his evenings figuring out where his mistake had been. He sketched a dozen of three-dimension maps trying to understand where they were. Sakura must have seen his struggles, but she didn't join him in the solving of the puzzle. He suspected she didn't want a solution. But that was short-sighted of her.

One evening, he when he was siting on the clearing in front their hut, Madara absentmindedly switched on Mangekyō and with that peculiar sense these eyes gave him, he watched night sky decorated with dimensions' entries around him. Which way should he go?

And then he saw it. Out of the nine dimensions to his right, the middle and the top ones were both shifted. Madara furrowed his brows – he saw such an asymmetry already somewhere before… A lattice anomaly. A bifurcating branch.

Sakura believed him. She accepted his explanation how he missed the turn by hitting the additional dimension. She accepted the theory that their original path was just one dimension away downwards. She didn't have much choice – he was the only one who could feel the positions of dimensions' entries.

What she didn't accept was his intent on travelling further and finding the way home. They negotiated out a half of a year. Half of a year of playing home for her. Half of a year of a mockery of happiness for him, with a woman trapped like in a cage.

Sakura also negotiated a promise that if the Uchiha crest wasn't found in the dimension he theorized – two dimensions down and one left; they would come back to their hut by the ocean. Madara couldn't believe how pliant he had become.

When they resumed the jumps, they didn't get far. Only two dimensions left.

They landed in a dense forest. So dense, that it was a miracle that the branches didn't cause more damage than this nasty scratch to her side.

Sakura took a step in a direction to where trees seemed to be less dense, shoving those stupid branches away with one hand and examining the injury with the other one. Damn thing got her to the blood! Sakura directed her chakra to her side.

Nothing flowed.

She turned back towards Madara.

"Madara?" she called out not even able to verbalize her fear. Her hand raised to where her Byakugou should be on its own volition.

Looking at her forehead, Madara shook his head in negation. Sakura knew what it meant. But before she managed to say a word, he jerked his head.

"Something's coming," he said.

She never saw him fighting and the fluid automatism of his hand reaching for the kunai was awe-inspiring even in these dire straits.

Between the trees something bright shimmered between the tree trunks, moving swiftly. Sakura narrowed her eyes. Something moving swiftly and something… orange…

Madara raised the kunai.

Sakura strained her eyes… These movements… These erratic, as if boisterous, movements…

The entity moved closer.

That couldn't be. Sakura tried wetting her lips, but her mouth was dry.

The person was not more than thirty meters away from them.

Sakura side-stepped, trying to glimpse around the tree the stranger was hiding behind. Something yellowish loomed between the branches. Was it a trick of her tired mind? Had all the longing and despair made her go mad? She had to know. Even if it was the most improbable thing in the world, she needed to make sure.

"Naruto?" she called out tentatively. "Naruto?" She tried louder. "Is it you?"

A long silence. And the voice she didn't expect to hear in this life anymore. "Sakura…? Is it really you?!"

Sakura swayed on her feet. She took a step backwards. A helpful tree lent support to her back. Or maybe it was Madara. She couldn't breathe.

"It's me! It's me!" Tears were rolling down Sakura's face. She barely could see ahead. But the figure was too familiar not to recognize. With extended arms, she started to run, stumbled on a root, picked herself up, stumbled on something again. Until she closed Naruto in her arms.

And then for the longest time she was sobbing, and he was as well, and Sakura thought her ribs would crack from the tenacity of his embrace, even though she was probably doing the same to him.

Only when he finally let go off her, it seemed that Naruto realized Madara's identity. He stepped ahead, already taking position between her and Madara. "What is he doing here?" Naruto asked in a low voice.

Sakura burst in laughter. Always the same, always trying to protect her from the danger. Naruto glanced at her, all confused. "That's alright," she said. "He's with me."

Naruto furrowed his eyebrows in response.

"We've been looking for you," offered Sakura in a way of explanation. "He has Obito's eyes now, it is thanks to him that I'm even here…"

"You've been looking for us? Together? Sakura-chan, what happened?"

"We… We've been looking for you for so long, we've been looking everywhere… I've lost all the hope long time ago… There is a huge dimension-matrix out there, millions and millions of world, and we could only guess which direction the goddess took you!" Tears were flowing freely down her cheeks. She didn't care. She was so happy. Until a sudden realization hit her. "Naruto! Where is the goddess?! And where is Sasuke?" Sakura spun, frantically trying to localize the kunai she must have dropped when running towards Naruto.

"Don't worry, Sakura-chan! The bastard is fine! He had a fever and a nasty cold last week because of the rains, but he's all good now. And Kaguya… She is not here. Anymore…"

"Then where is she?" asked Sakura carefully, shelving for later the fiery fluttering in her heart at the thought that Sasuke was somewhere here, almost in arm's reach.

Naruto was digging a hole in the ground with the tip of his shoe. "Ano… She dragged us through dimensions, I don't even know how many, hundreds? Thousands? She was jumping in blink of an eye. Until we landed here."

"And?"

"And here there is no chakra."

"I know, we've noticed already…"

"And then it was just her, and the two of us." Naruto broke off and started to shuffles the leaves covering the ground with his foot. "And she was one, and we were two. We had kunai. She hadn't. We killed her. With kunai. We kept stabbing her until she was just… meat… We weren't sure, so we…" he paused again. He looked as if he just ate something bad. "We split her into… parts. Separate parts… Back then we didn't quite get it yet with the lack of chakra and we weren't sure if she wouldn't revive herself somehow. So we kept watch. Until what was left of her started to rot… Then we burnt it. Over there." Naruto gestured at the clearing. "But we keep coming here from time to time… You know, just in case… You never know with a goddess, right, Sakura-chan?"

"So, she's gone…" Sakura looked up to tiny patches of blue visible between the leaves. "I guess that after all this, I should feel some satisfaction…"

"If this universe has no chakra," interjected Madara from where he was standing all that time, some twenty meters away from them, "that would explain why they couldn't get out. And now neither can we. We are far outside of Katsuyu's range."

"Katsuyu's range?" Naruto was turning his head between her and Madara.

"Oh, yes, that's something we've discovered… That's a long story…" answered Sakura.

"Oh. Alright. Guess you'll tell me later? We have so much to catch up, dattebayo! But, wait a second – you guys don't know the way out? So, is someone else coming to get us? How are we going home?"

Sakura gulped.

"Because we need to go home! Everyone's waiting! Because the war is over, right? Since he joined you, and you've managed to find us, that means everyone woke up and…"

"Naruto… Sit down, okay?"

"Why?" asked Naruto slowly. She could practically see small hair on the back of his neck standing up. "Why should I sit down?!"

Sakura tried embracing him, but her embrace didn't help at all - Naruto was stiff and tense in her arms. Still, the truth had to be told. She forced him down onto a trunk of an uprooted tree. "Because they are gone," she said quietly. "They are all gone."

Naruto tore out of her embrace and stared at her for such a long time that she started to think he didn't understand her. "They're gone. They are dead," she repeated.

"How?" whispered Naruto, his eyes growing huge. "HOW?!" he howled like in good old days when the Kyūbi would have strove to take over the control. But here there was no Kyūbi. Naruto's eyes stayed blue.

"The tree… It sucked their chakra… We were looking for you, we looked everywhere… With every return to our universe they were fewer of them left. First the weaker ones, the children… Then the rest… In retrospect it wouldn't have change a thing if we had found you earlier. They would have died anyhow. Just that we would have been spared the knowledge. And anguish. There is no point in going back. Our world is… a barren desert now."

"All of them? Really all?" She never seen Naruto's lips so pale, not even then when he was recovering from a nearly fatal wound.

She held him when he cried. She didn't have any tears left herself for the dead, but now she managed to cry for Naruto.

Madara stood propped against the tree.

The sun was already starting to set, painting the forest in strange, violet light, when Naruto got himself into something akin to a grip.

"We should go home… ehm… I mean to where we live…"

"And where do you live?"

"There is a village down the valley. Or maybe it's too much calling it a village?" Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "They… Or should I say 'we'? We have only tents. Sasuke and I still didn't quite figure out if the people will be staying here for the winter… We've learned the language a bit over those months, but that's still too complicated to ask… I bet you, Sakura-chan will get their language much quicker! So, let's go!" Naruto grabbed Sakura's hand. "We don't have much there, but there is some food. And sleeping in those tents is almost like camping during a mission, you'll see! Well, except for the fleas, we only had fleas when Kiba tagged along, right, Sakura-chan?"

He pulled her more forcefully. Sakura turned to where Madara was standing. Seeing it, Naruto grinned, made a gesture encompassing Madara and continued happily. "It only really sucks that all the knives and such are from stone… Really hard to deal with if you grew up used to a sharp kunai. But I see you guys brought some great supplies! Everyone will be so happy!" Naruto started to march downhill.

Sakura twisted her hand out of his grip. For a moment she stood there, grinning Naruto to her left, Madara standing unmoving against the tree.

"Are you coming?" she called out to him. No answer came from between the trees. Sakura made a step uphill. "Madara? We should be going before it gets dark…"

She was coming closer, shoving one branch after another from her line of sight, until he could see her face. And she – his.

"Are you coming?" she asked. The furrow in her brows was an early indication of distress. That was not going to be easy. "Madara? Let's go…"

"You go. I'll stay here."

"What are you talking about? We should all go down, Naruto said there is a village, there are people. From what he said they are already accepted into the community…"

"That is extremely fortunate. It is more than we could ever wish for."

"Exactly! So let's go!"

"You're going. I'm staying."

"You cannot stay here all alone!"

"Well, I assure you that I can. And I can always go to a different valley if I end up craving human company that much. If there is one community here, there are bound to be others as well."

"Why are you saying all that? You make no sense…"

"It makes perfect sense. You should go and start living your life. With him. That's what you always wanted. That's what drove you, what you dreamt about…"

Silence. Such a heavy silence and the pink-haired head hung low.

"Sometimes, you were speaking his name in your sleep," he said quietly.

"Was I?!" Sakura's head jerked up in surprise. "I'm sorry."

"For what? Ours was a relation built on need and lack of choice. It worked out astonishingly well – here we are, both alive and at our goal. We've managed, we kept ourselves sane, we've even made ourselves happy from time to time. As happy as it was possible."

"I wouldn't have done it at all without you!"

"Neither would have I without you. I was teleporting us; you were patching me up."

"That's not what I meant. Without… without that what was between us... Without having you…"

Madara nodded and tried smiling. "Me as well. You gave sense to the last shreds of my existence. Without you I would… just cease to exist long time ago. But thanks to you, I lived once more. That was more than I have ever expected and more than I deserved. I've received plenty enough. So, go now to live your life."

"I don't want to leave you like this."

Madara laughed. "I'll manage just fine. Or are you worried about yourself? Are you calculating risks? Are you thinking if he will want you? Then be aware that I wouldn't like to have a companion that is with me only because she wasn't courageous enough to go after the one whom she really loved."

Sakura swallowed audibly.

"I'll make it easier for you." He really needed her to leave swiftly. He didn't know how long he would manage to keep up his appearances. He needed to make her leave. "Go. Give it your most honest try," he tried reasoning with her. From her looks it wasn't really working. She was staring at him with the same stubborn determination he saw in her eyes during the war. "And if it doesn't work, you know where to find me. I don't mind used goods." That should do it. The insult should make her finally turn.

She kept standing. Like a statue, she kept standing.

"Sakura-chan! Are you coming?!" shouted the Jinchūriki from between the trees.

"Why are you still here?" he asked, a note of irritation too loud in his voice.

Sakura didn't answer. She lowered her head and he had an impression she was blinking tears away. With trembling fingers she started to ungainly open with the clasp of her belt. He really didn't understand what she was doing…

And then, she unbuckled her pouch and with full force threw it to his feet. "I'm not going anywhere," she said. "I stay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... That's it. That is THE END.
> 
> My longest, most challenging, most ambitious, as well as best received among the public, story has come to a close. A satisfying end for me, and hopefully also satisfying one for you as well.
> 
> Thank you SO MUCH to everyone who joined me for the ride. Thank you for all the comments and kudos, and for every single interaction we've had. It was a true joy, I never had so much contact with the readers before, and I cannot stress enough how motivating and wonderful it all was.
> 
> For the last time, please tell me what you think.


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